It’s well known that I’m a pirate on Facebook, waiting to ATTACK you if you say one thing out of line. I’ll catch you! People often just delete me from Facebook because they can’t take the amount of rad that I throw out, especially when I comment on their dearest, most precious status updates. Check it:

And trust me, that was mild. Just because it was Sunday. I’ve shattered peoples dreams with my comments, but you know, put up stupid emo status updates and expect me to bounce off the high seas and attack you.

I regularly throw out horrendous comments on my guy friends statuses as well, but they’re usually too drunk to care. Either that or they’re laughing because they’re hooking up with the girl that I really liked. Damn you West Ham United! Oh no Gunners!

Mmmmmmmm…that wasn’t icing sugar was it?