Well, this ones for the ladies…and to appeal to a  broad audience…some of the guys!

I’m not a fan of chicks piling on the makeup, ladies, lets keep it natural. You will agree with me after watching this clip:

You don’t want those chemicals in your body because boobs = good. An extra tit growing on your back from chemicals = not so good. Now that you know all of that, go out and get yourself some safe cosmetics from South Africa’s premier online natural store, Faithful To Nature. Click here for Faithful To Nature.

Obviously being a guy, I’d NEVER USE NATURAL PRODUCTS. *Cough cough don’t click that link*

GQ is surely a men’s magazine aimed at a lifestyle of elitism and class and style and snobbish behaviour probably…suits me doooood! They feature some ridiculous stuff though, like socks for R1500 and jeans for R5000 and whatever else (Mind you, I do have my jeans flown in from overseas…preppy bitch!) Which is why their free gifts complete throw my mind into a state of panic and confusion.

WHY?! Why do they do this every month?!

I ask myself this every month as yet another piece of shit is given to me with their magazine.
So you’re in your mid twenties, early thirties, probably driving your own car and living on your own/with friends/ a partner, you’re visiting the places GQ recommends, you’re dating girls that look like they’re GQ models. You’re eating at GQ recommended restaurants, you’re drinking at GQ recommended bars. You’re earning 10k or more a month.

You strive to look your best, hence the reason for buying GQ.
And then they give you some ridiculous polyester hat…for what? FOR WHAT?!

The quality of the free gifts in GQ is shocking, and no one uses them. They are surely not a draw card to buy the magazine, and if they actually are, then the magazine must be really terrible.

Now if GQ sold 30000 copies of that issue with the hat on, there were no doubt 30000 hats that were probably thrown away, no one is going to wear them. So you’ll read articles on being eco friendly in GQ, and then they come out and throw 30000 ridiculous hats into the environment. Plus, it looks really AWESOME when you wear it, check how RAD I look!

Do GQ really want their readers to look like this? NO (Mind you I’m a terrible example in any case…but lets focus on the cap)

Way to build on the reputation that GQ has worked so hard to gain over the years.

Kiff.

The only thing I’ve ever hated about South Africa is our limited access to high end fashion. We never get the full ranges and it’s always hard to source the good stuff, and when we do, the exchange rate takes a jackhammer, puts it to our wallet and turns on, obliterating it!

I’m a huge fan of classic dressing…white v necks, leather jackets, cotton military jackets, dark slim denim, quality leather shoes (Pointy, never square, we’re not wanting to look like Richard Hammond) I like clothing that is going to last a long time and that won’t go out of style the next time Lindsay Lohan changes her underwear (In about 3 months)

Leather jackets aren’t too easy to find in South Africa, but Country Road at the V&A Waterfront have some really cool, extremely soft ones for about R6000. Diesel at the V&A Waterfront also had an amazing black one the other day for about R7000. But check this bad boy out from Rick Owens:

I’ve never! $2500 though…if you can even find that one still. I sometimes wish we had clothing like that in South Africa. Anyway, leather should always be fitted, never baggy, and GQ have a cool guide to choosing denim jackets should you be looking for one. Check it out HERE.

And here is a video too for those interested:

Now you can live like an absolute rock star! And remember kids, always wear leather with a white v neck t-shirt and Aviators!

Where the hell is my real gun?

(Thanks to Charlie V for the use of the Aviators!)

I remember when YDE started, we all saw so much potential in it. A place where designers with talent but limited resources could showcase their work.

And now look at it…a dreary place with white lighting, absolutely no atmosphere or customer experience, another sell out, another part of the corporate world, a place no person with street style would actually shop.

A place full of polyester, another fake world designed to drain your wallet and make you look like shit. A place where the actual soul of the fashion industry is non existent. A place where you surely cannot be proud of our young designers? A place where the clothes shrink, a place where the ‘large’ label actually means ‘midget’

To me fashion should have a soul and a feeling, and your clothing should reflect your lifestyle, dreams and aspirations. Clothing should grow with you, age with you, party with you and be one with you. I don’t see this at YDE. I see it as the bubblegum of the clothing world. Something you chew a few times, then spit it out and watch someone else walk all over it. I have pieces of clothing in my wardrobe that I absolutely love, jeans that are essentially me, jackets that I love, items of clothing that possess wear marks from my life. Items of clothing that share my past and remind me of good times. Items of clothing that people recognize me by…maybe I’m too passionate about clothing and the way it should be worn. I believe in having a small selection of top quality clothes that you wear until you lose them or break them. Clothing that you wear until it falls off you. Clothing that becomes synonymous with you. I like ‘real’ clothing too…leather, organic cotton, hemp. The real quality stuff.

I walk into YDE and feel ashamed that this is a representation of our young designers. It’s ugly, it’s made of crap materials, the cuts are horrendous, everything is too small and it’s common.

If YDE were in London, the chavs would have an absolute field day buying their shiny polyester tracksuit tops there. Because that’s what it is…a cheap showcase of fake materials with no style and passion. I don’t put a hand to a piece of YDE clothing and feel passion. I don’t look at it and see beauty. I don’t try it on and feel awesome about myself.

I hate the way it is so expensive for young designers to showcase their work, I hate the clinical feel of the stores, I hate the clothing, I hate what the brand has become. I just hate YDE altogether, and yet it did have potential at one stage.

It seems the dream of Paul Simon is just another one skewed and butchered by corporate governance.

Awesome.

Nawteeeeeee!

So all these brands will be rocking sale prices on 36 Boutiques today, starting at lunchtime I believe.

Click here to sign up.

Alternatively if you want to speed things up, drop me an e-mail at seanl (at) slxs (dot) co (dot) za and I’ll invite you.

Hosh ja mos kief!

Dammit this stuff looks good! The Body Shop are releasing the Body Shop Sport White Musk.
And unlike my Nike’s which no doubt use slave labour (Which I choose to overlook because they’re AWESOME), The Body Shop goes for a fair trade angle.

Complete the opposite direction of that GAP top of mine!

Check this out, which I kindly took from LiveEco:

The Body Shop introduces a zesty new fragrance range designed for active men on the move: White Musk® Sport. Whether you´re working out at the gym, pounding the pavements or powering across the pitch, you´re now fully equipped for the challenge ahead.

Packed with invigorating grapefruit and lemon fused with sensual amber, this fresh, clean fragrance captures the essence of the active man. The White Musk® Sport range doesn´t just smell good, it does good. The fragrance also contains Community Trade alcohol made from sugar cane that’s organically grown and produced in Ecuador. The collection also features Community Trade honey from organic sources and skin-caring Community Trade organically grown aloe vera from Guatemala.

The White Musk® Sport range is perfect for the man who loves the sporty outdoor life. The scent takes inspiration from the popular White Musk® for Men range but has has a modern, youthful, energetic twist and gives you that fresh, just showered feeling.

White Musk® Sport is available as Eau de Toilette (100ml, R195), Hair & Body Wash (200ml, R105) and Anti-Perspirant Deodorant (75ml, R65). There is also a gift box set to match, created from FSC certified woodland resources.

The White Musk® Sport range is available in-store, 7 June 2010.

And (t)IT’S (mcgee) lank cheap too. Did I just use the word ‘lank’? Oh ja!

I spotted that over at LiveEco, you have seen it, correct? It’s an entire listing/blog network/ news network of eco friendly things. Click HERE to go there.

Take me to pleasure town! Oh we’re going there!

Perfect for all you hippies and Al Gore types.

Don’t you hate it when you leave some random apartment in the morning, you don’t know where you are, and you’re running down the street like a Goddamn rock star as a haze of cigarette smoke and whiskey fumes are left in your wake? Look at you man! You are excess personified. You’re a guitar breaking, hotel smashing, poon handling God of excess!

And it’s time your clothing stood up to those levels of abuse.

As it is apparently now winter, judging by the size of my main chap when I walked out naked to grab the paper this morning, you’ll need some decent boots (In winter it’s only 17″!)

And for this we rely on Caterpillar and Timberland.You see, you may not work in construction, but when the Gods are throwing water down on your hedonistic lifestyle, your feet don’t know any better. For all they know, you’re 300 feet underground mining for minerals.

For all they know, you’re commanding the high seas with a bottle of rum.

For all they know, your feet are getting pissed on by some demonic monster who’s been drinking Minotaur Slammers the whole night.

Anyway, I’m here to tell you where to get your boots today. Obviously if you’re a rock ‘n roll God of excess, the Timberland pricing structure of around R2000 for a set of boots is nothing. Timberland are winners outright for their waterproofing which makes them the obvious choice considering it’s raining.

I’m rolling in Cats at the moment because I bought them about 4 years ago and they just never wear out! And I hate buying new stuff when what I already have works…because I love the earth! I don’t buy a lot of things, but buy one good pair of everything. A good pair of jeans, a good jacket, a good set of boots and then I’m all ready to hammer winter in the face. With my disco stick.

DAS BOOT!

Jeans — Always go dark and straight cut. Wear marks on jeans need to be earned!

I used to worry about running through puddles because I hated having my feet soaked but in the Cats I try find puddles now, it’s amazing. Plus if any runny snot nosed kids get in my way — BANG. Out the way kid, I’m wearing earth moving equipment on my feet.

Now don’t go out and buy your Cat boots at a shopping mall, buy them at Footgear in Access Park (Kenilworth — Hosh ja!) The sales there are amazing and you may think it’s plebville, but it’s actually radville. The shoes are sometimes so cheap that you cannot not buy them. I paid R700 for a kick ass pair of 100% leather Cat work boots. That’s cheaper than a set of Nike Hi-Tops. And Hi-Tops won’t stop a storm.

Click here for a map to your nearest Footgear store.

Go get them, they are number one on the SLXS list of winter essentials.

Because my favourite thing in the world is shmoozing and hobnobbing with the elite of society, I was quite happy at the 36 Boutiques Launch. Because we all know that the easiest way to become ‘famous’ is to hang out in those circles. So there we have it…famous by association!

The Ben Sherman kit…sick! Skinny fit, I love it

She’s looking at YOU

4 months beard growth, MAD! (Told you I could grow a beard, mom)

The superglue trick, gets me everytime

On a more serious note, how awesome is it when a professional photographer takes your photo? Skin looks amazing and no one looks deathly pale! I mean I’m far from tanned at the moment but with a normal point and shoot flash, I’d look like Edward from Twilight (Except not good looking and without the money and the fans)

I mean, in summer I’m more tanned, and I don’t pose like that guy! Well…almost…

God we’ve come a long way since the fat days.

Insanity!

And thanks to the ladies for the invite, I was well behaved, so maybe I’ll get more invites. Woop woop!

Apologies for that headline, that is horrendous.

Anyway for a few seconds a couple of years back I suffered from guilt for not supporting local clothing designers. My main problem was, and still is, quality and pricing. And this is bad because I realise that clothing makers producing things on a small scale here need to charge fairly high prices to make any money.

But when I’m dropping cash, I want my clothing to last. And personally, I’d rather buy something that is cheaper and of higher quality. Country Road is KILLING IT at the moment! I’m basically dressed by them at the moment, busy breaking in a pair of raw denim Country Road jeans.

We’ll grab the jacket later in the week.

Anyway, another reason for not going local is the crap like this…the penis shoe.

Seriously, who is going to wear those?

Apparently this shoe was unveiled at the Joburg Art Fair (Oh it’s art! Oh look at me I’m so arty, there is a shlong on my shoe! I’m so alternative! I’m so creative! There is coke all over my face!)

Do you see me wearing a vag on my shoes? No, exactly, who does this?

I mean REALLY? Are you guys serious? And GQ print this?

Come on guys, let’s get up to international standards. And GQ…you print this stuff under ‘Fashion News’

Who’s in bed with who here?

Obviously if you live around here, you know how snobbish people can be if you’re not wearing the right stuff! But sometimes when you have a budget that encompasses multiple facets of your life — wife/husband, mistress/gimp, girlfriend/boyfriend plus all their expenses, then your HIDEOUS cocaine addiction and that French bubbly you insist on drinking, there can sometimes be a little strain on the budget when it comes to clothes. You then have to shop at Mr Price and Ackermans (To the plebbs who want to sound smart, they’ll refer to it as Ay-See- Kermans — see what they’ve done? Clever)

Or do you?

Well with 36 Boutiques, wearing Mr Price might be a thing of the past (As will the shrinkage that Mr Price garments undergo, even after a cold wash!)

And your chick is going to PLUTZ when you present her with a new pair of 7 For All Mankind jeans, and you know what? When she next buys you a present, she’ll buy something of a similiar value, unaware that you were shopping at 80% off! So while you paid 20% of the value of a pair of R5000 jeans, she will in return buy you a R5000 watch at full price.

YOU WIN!

I mean naturally with girls you never win, because one drunken night with the boys and you drive the car through all her stunning new plants in the garden and fill the fish tank with beer, and she kaks you out and withholds sex. So in the end you never really win, but you can have some of your own back.

This is what 36 Boutiques is all about:

36boutiques is a brand new luxury shopping concept in South Africa. 36boutiques is classified as a Private Event Retailer.  Private in the sense that one can register by invitation only. Event in the sense that sales are once off and only lasts 36 hours, which is very exclusive. And Retailer because 36boutiques is establishing a new platform for the retail industry in South Africa.

36boutiques has weekly online sale events that feature the very best designer fashion, both global and local with up to 80% off the retail price! These exclusive online sales last for 36 hours only & boast an array of designers from Stefania Morland, Errol Arendz, 7 For All Mankind Jeans, Jingle and Chime (singer Louise Carver’s jewellery range), Hermanna Rush, Ben Sherman and so the list continues…

The next sale is going to be next Monday, 19 April 2010 which will feature  Jingle & Chime by Louise Carver .  This sale will start at 12 noon on the Monday and ends at midnight of the Tuesday. It is by invite only – so one would need to go to
www.36boutiques.co.za to sign up beforehand.

For other sales, 36boutiques will send you e-mails before each sale event, to tell you what is going on sale.  This product is definitely not reject designer stuff, but rather end-of-season items or designer fashion that boutiques offer 36boutiques exclusively!

I mean, HAVE YOU EVER?! Girls will be chilling like Gisele in no time. And remember ladies, I love skinny jeans tucked into boots. I’m just saying.

But before I waste any more of your time, sign up fool!

Click here to sign up.

And honestly, when your girlfriend is looking at you, holding a new item of expensive clothing (Which you bought for cheap), and thinking of all the animalistic things she is going to do to you, then think of me. I mean obviously only for a second, not while she’s all over you, but you get the point.

And LADIES, just think about this, with all these new clothes, if you’re single, you won’t be for long because guys are going to be mesmerized by your amazing clothes, not to mention that cheeky ass of yours, which you continue to flash beneath that very short skirt!

I’ve seen you walking to The Assembly in that little skirt.

I acted like I wasn’t interested.

I just wasn’t sure what the hell you were doing with that guy.

Surely you deserve better?

I mean, come now, really…

Just call me.

Call me Julio and smother me in custard you naughty girl!

But seriously, we’re now losing the plot, go buy those new clothes and then we’ll chat again.

Sexy. X

Click here to sign up.