It’s quite weird that people are even still asking me what I’m doing next week. Chicks saying “Yeah we still didn’t do that dinner…” and guys saying “Yeah like check it bru how do I pick up kiff chicks?”

I made all that rubbish up, but the point is (And this is true), people are asking me what I’m doing next week. And at the rate my luck is going, the only thing I will be doing next week are players from the Lingerie Bowl and sunsets in Hawaai.

The only person that features in my world after tomorrow, is me. I won’t let anyone know I have left the country, their only clues will be the photos I send them. The photos will be of my feet, some sand, a coconut and vast expanses of open ocean because I will be living on the beach in Hawaii. I won’t tell anyone I’m going, I’ll just go. I’ve always wanted to live on the beach, and I mean literally on the beach and Hawaii seems a good option. I wouldn’t need anything because the beach has always been enough for me. When I’m there I literally want nothing and I miss nothing. It’s where I need to be!

Which is what is happening tomorrow when I close this rollover for good at R80 million.

R80 million AKA Sean Lloyd

It’s been going on a while now and I’m ready to claim it tomorrow. Look, don’t feel left out because we’ll still give away R1 million in cash or prizes, I’m not sure yet. But make no mistake, it will happen.

And I’ll be clever, not like a super-chav called Michael Carroll who blew 9.7 million pounds on drugs, hookers and some other stuff (For real, HERE).

A-Grade Tool

Which is remarkable really, because my lifestyle would not cost nearly that much. Tanning oil and a Speedo would be my greatest excesses and we’d keep crack cocaine and strippers for when we go to Vegas (With baby Carlos in tow)

It is actually beyond phenomenal that some tool can spend all that money in 8 years. You actually cannot begin to comprehend how stupid chavs really are. I sometimes call friends stupid because they’ll drop something, or whatever, but I don’t really mean they are stupid as such. But chavs are stupid, and even ’stupid’ doesn’t do justice to the amount of moron swirling around inside them. Best of all is Michael “Superknob” Carroll saying this:

But he insisted he is just as happy getting £42 a week in jobseeker’s allowance.

He said: ‘The party has ended and it’s back to reality. I haven’t got two pennies to rub together and that’s the way I like it. I find it easier to live off £42 dole than a million.’

‘It’s a bit strange going on the dole again because that’s what I was doing before I won.’

‘I’ve lived the high life but I want my job back and to earn a normal wage. I’ll do anything to earn a pound or two now.’

Carroll’s jackpot win in 2002 disappeared with astonishing speed as the tattooed self-styled ‘King of the Chavs’ lavished several million pounds on family and friends and hundreds of thousands on drugs.

By the end of 2003, he was smoking £2,000 of crack cocaine every day and hosting drug and drink fuelled parties at his £325,000 home, the notorious Grange in Downham, Norfolk. (Via)

You literally cannot scrip stuff like this. It’s beautiful, yet it makes me want to cry buckets. Anyways.

So you can enter the lottery tomorrow and scrabble for the small amounts that are left over, but don’t get too excited about the big one.

It’s got my name all over it.

Our buddy Marc from O-Box Design has recently kicked off his new blog called “Wish You Were Here” and the idea is simple, but the entire blog is essentially driven by a passion.  Here is what it’s about:

Wish You Were Here

…because being an athlete isn’t all pain.

We want to share some of the sights & views we experience on our little journey every time we step outside. It’s half the reason we hurt ourselves in the first place!

And that’s it, very simple but it’s image driven and while only just launched, it’s showing some awesome images. We all know that dreaded feeling of being in a gym, staring at a TV, or a wall and thinking “Surely there is more to life!”

And then there are the other people who spend their time exercising in the great outdoors, the ones who summit that peak only to see the sun setting over the lake, or the waves crashing on the shore. These are the people who know what exercising is all about…they ‘get it’ It’s not about trying to follow the newest Mens Health tricks to get ‘cannonball guns’ or ‘6 pack abs’ It’s about those moments that take your breath away and have you coming back for more. It’s those moments that dissolve the pain. It’s those moments that have athletes coming back for more and more, and it’s the lack of those moments that have people not sticking to gym programs.

And this is what I Wish You Were Here is all about. Trust me, there will be no photos of the inside of a gym on that site! Check out a few that have been featured so far:

Rad!

It’s really awesome and you can contribute as well, with photos from your adventures. Simply click HERE to check out Wish You Were Here.

Some things cannot be explained or put into words, and I’m not sure if the Top Gear Live tickets are sold out for Joburg, but guys and girls, go see the show. I didn’t write on it because you can’t justify the show in words because there is too much awesome.

I stole this photo from Taz because this is how close we were to touching Jeremy and Richard.

Look, don’t get me wrong, I love the ladies, they rev my engine but they do not belong in the newsroom!

Sorry…got lost there. Seriously though, you would be a fool to miss this show.

The only problem is that your life will seem very average afterwards. I’ve been battling depression ever since.

I drew up a list of things for 2010 which I think are quite worthwhile. As with all lists, I guess you can’t really believe them and you have to take into account your lifestyle, but I think I put down some good points. It’s not my normal style of writing, but I think it’s a good one I was meaning to post it earlier in the year, but you can still make it work anytime. Some of the points you will already know from previous articles and I’ve in all likelihood read some in magazines, so excuse those if you think I’m repeating things. Here it is:

Get offline more – Recently, I’ve been offline more and more and it feels great. I still update my Facebook status as a laugh, but I’ve completely turned off my Facebook chat. I don’t go on Skype unless I need to. People chat on Facebook when they’re bored, and the conversation is pointless. It wastes time. Time you could use to relax, listen to some music, go for a walk in the mountain.

Has Twitter changed your life? People are posting every thought and every photo on Twitter, but does anyone really care that you’re eating at Beluga? Probably not. If something is not adding value or true entertainment and joy to your life – quit it. Keep your key websites that you read, but you don’t need to read it all. With Twitter, people just go on because of a fear of missing something. So they spend hours checking everyone’s updates and links. It’s all trivial stuff that you don’t need. Go on a low information diet.

Listen to great music – Local or international, there is great music around. I’m listening to Crowded House again and it’s great chilled music, it makes me happy. On that note, only listen to music if you can afford it. Don’t copy music. You wouldn’t want to work for free, and neither do musicians. Local musicians especially battle financially, and I hear people being so positive about SA music, but then I ask them where they got the songs from and it’s usually ‘From a friend” meaning they did not pay for it. Pay for good music. Pay for any music you’re listening to.

Get outside more – Stop being influenced by Men’s Health and build a functional body. Do you really need to be 100kg’s of muscle? Probably not. Does it serve a purpose other than to fuel your ego? If you enjoy running, go run. Don’t worry about it cutting muscle and making you skinny. If it puts a smile on your face while you’re doing it, carry on doing it. Cut down on the unnecessary supplements that claim to leave you looking like the hulk. You’ll save a lot of money, and cut down your carbon footprint.

Work stays at work – Stop worrying about work when you’re at home. There is nothing that worrying will fix. When you’re at work, focus on your work. When you’re at home, focus on the things at home. Relationships, friends, family. Do things around the home that make you happy. Watch movies, listen to music, cook. Don’t think about work at all, you’re wasting time…and life.

Stop worrying about what other people think – Don’t worry about what others think of your life. Don’t compare yourself to your rich friend. Do whatever makes you happy. If you’re passionate about music and play gigs around town that just make you enough money to pay rent and food, but you’re happy inside…then do that. The corporate world won’t make you happy.

Work less – If you can manage this, do it. Once you have the basics, stop working so hard just to acquire more ‘stuff’ You probably don’t need it and once you get into a cycle of getting more things, it’s hard to stop. You’ll spend the rest of your life buying things that won’t make you happy. The things that will really make you happy are good times with friends and family. A new car won’t replicate this feeling, nor will a pair of R10000 shoes. Well not for long anyway. No one spends the last days of their lives wishing they had worked more or had more things.

There is no such thing as wasting time – Sitting on the couch watching TV is not wasting time. Sitting on the beach is not wasting time. People assume that we need to be doing something all the time, in order to prove ourselves, in order to show people how well we are doing. We need to be at a desk from 9-5 to conform. Well I hate to break it to you, but we don’t.

Don’t make excuses – See your friends more often. Don’t make stupid excuses. You don’t need to organize expensive trips together, go see movies, go to the beach, walk in the mountains.

More love! – I really think people need to love each other more! Not to sound hippy, but sometimes we really do. So do it.

Get outdoors – Get out of the gym and run outside, exercise in nature. It’s much more fulfilling and you will get to see parts of your city that you will never see otherwise.

Buy good quality stuff – Don’t buy lots of clothes, but make sure you buy good quality. Keep key pieces of clothing, and don’t go for trends. For guys you can’t go wrong with :

• White v-neck t shirts (Long and short sleeve)
• Henley shirts (T-shirts with buttons)
• Cargo shorts, check prints are good, simple floral is also a good look.
• Boat shoes.
• Worn denims.
• Dry/raw and unwashed denims. Wear them in and they’ll fit and wear to your lifestyle. You’ll find it hard to buy any other jeans after buying raw denim.
• A good quality pair of comfortable leather shoes.
• Long sleeve check shirts. Roll the sleeves up and they go great with denims and a white shirt underneath.

Buy a good fragrance and wear it – Don’t keep fragrances for special occasions, wear them everyday. Test them on your skin first as they develop differently on people. I’m loving Gucci Pour Homme II as well as the new D&G ‘10’ unisex fragrance. On that note, don’t be afraid to blur the lines between male and female fragrances. If you like a fragrance and it suits you but it’s a female fragrance – buy it. Around 30% of people who wear Black Orchid by Tom Ford (A female fragrance) are men. It doesn’t mean you’re gay as your guy friends will tell you. We only believe that some fragrances are for men and some for women based on past experiences. Forget your ego and assumptions, and enjoy a fragrance for what it is. Try ck one as a unisex fragrance. Try the new D&G unisex fragrance. Experiment. You’ll be surprised when you take your belief in what is a female fragrance and break it apart. Some cool fragrances for guys:

• D&G The One
• D&G Light Blue
• Gucci Pour Homme II
• Ck one summer
• Ck one
• Hugo Boss (The original one)
• Tom Ford (Grey Vetiver not so much, try the other mens fragrance by Tom Ford)

Give tips – Petrol attendants, waitresses, bar staff – These people are often working to support families, pay for studies etc and their wages are really low. They live off of tips. Tip them well. Unless you want to place your order and collect drinks/ food at the restaurant kitchen.

That big idea will never work – unless you give it a chance. If you want to do something, then do it. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And if it fails, just keep on going. Failures are lessons that help you, and some of the most successful entrepreneurs have had many failures. It is very rare that your first attempt at going it alone will work out and make you millions. Try loads of things, but only if you’re passionate about them. Don’t do something just because there is money in it. To help you along, read ‘Screw It Let’s Do It’ by Richard Branson.

Recycle – Landfills are filling up, recycling saves energy and prevents pollution. Just do it.

Keep a notebook – I’ve got a whole load of Moleskine notebooks that I used to use to sketch ideas, and just keep journals. Writing in notebooks is different to the computer, more time consuming, but it also sometimes allows you to think a bit more. Keep one in your pocket and use it, you never know when an idea is going to strike. You could write it in your phone, but a notebook gives a nostalgic feel , and reading notebooks years later, you never know what you will find that you forgot about. It’s also great for sketching pictures.

Watch all those old films you never got around to – Pop into DVD Nouveau and over the course of the year, watch all the classics. The collection at DVD Nouveau is huge and will keep you entertained for months. Grab Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction, The Shining…and some of the way older stuff.

Don’t stand on others – Often, business success involves standing on others to get a foot up, cutting corners and cutting others out for your financial success. Give everyone the respect, recognition and pay they deserve. It’ll be better like this in the end, good karma etc.

Listen to Billy Zane – Billy Zane is a cool guy.

Wear quality sunglasses – Cheap ones are only going to damage your eyes. I’m currently wearing Ray Bans, but shades from any of the top manufacturers at reputable dealers will offer 100% UV protection in a quality lense. This UV protection will be in the lense, not on the surface, so scratches won’t harm the UV protection.

I’m sure as time goes on the list will grow, but there are some pointers to steer you in the right direction. We’ll be covering more points in articles throughout the year, but we’ll always love lists!

From next week Wednesday from 20:30 there will be no sexy/ touching / drinking / drugging because we need clear minds here. We need to keep our focus and composure. We need to step away from the gang bangs!

Normally I don’t really impose many limits on you and you are free to sex, drug and rock ‘n roll your way through the week as you please. I obviously ask for a degree of normality and ask that we never do coke off a midget hooker…except for Saturdays. Saturdays are a free for all.

I went to Top Gear Live in Cape Town and I didn’t even write about it. There is no way I could do justice to the event in words…all I can let you know is that you need to attend it. It’s in Johannesburg now and while we’re always hating Joburg, let’s drop that for a second and be nice.

If you are 4in Johannesburg, you simply have to beg, borrow or steal to get your tickets for the show. It is absolutely phenomenal. Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson together are like Viagra, well lets call it half a Viagra because I was nursing a semi.

I didn’t take photos because I didn’t want to miss a second of it, but trust me, it is good.

Now this brings us to the point of this one…Top Gear Season 13 starts on BBC Entertainment on Wednesday 10 February at 20:30 and you need to clear your schedule. I don’t care if you’re on some sort of program where that is the right time to get it on so that your partner gets pregnant…unfortunately little Timmy is going to have to wait until after Season 13 of Top Gear then, too bad little bugger.

We don’t have to get into Top Gear, because every single person on this planet understands what it is about. It is MEN-TAL!

I’ve been catching up on a few episodes on BBC and I’ll let you know that it leaves me very aroused, in a way that has me rubbing my, no doubt, muscular, smooth and tanned chest while pouring custard into my silky smooth locks.

So reserve that date, and while you’re at it break up with your girlfriend next Wednesday as well, then get together a few days after Valentines Day again and you’ll save some cash. If her birthday is around that time…double money saving bonus!

What?

It IS a recession, give us a break.

So thanks to Telkom for having me offline since Monday…it’s really a charm when business runs online.

So yeah I’m back, and I do have a lot to tell you.

In the meantime, I do love you but I need to go cool down before I lose my mind with Telkom. Some writing to come as we play catch up.

X

Wow…that was idiotic! If you have posted a comment lately, I accidentally highlighted more comments than I should have and deleted them. I can’t get them back!

Apologies for that, so if your comment is not up, don’t feel offended, these things happen.

To cheer the boys up, click HERE for Lucy Pinder (NSFW)

And for the girls and boys, the Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart sex tape (Extremely NSFW) which TMZ have just reported on about 10 minutes ago…get it before it’s removed over HERE.

I’ve always said that I could sit at the beach all day just watching people. Not in a weird way, just in a fascinated way, for the way people act and the things that they say.

So yesterday I happened to be maxing and chillaxing (Chillin’ never illin’) on Clifton 4th reading some old copies of Men’s Health Best Life (By the way, what happened to Best Life?) when I hear a conversation start up.

“You’re looking more ripped than Janez at the moment”

“Yeah I know”

Naturally this conversation caught my attention, for a split second at first. I was waiting for laughter and then was going to completely discard the conversation into the ‘Hell Bin’ in my head.

Anyway, after these two pearler lines, there was no laughter, meaning that these guys were actually having this conversation for real. No hidden camera show, no Ashton Kutcher, nothing.

Intrigued as to how ripped this guy could possibly be, I turned around to see some dude in a Speedo (The ‘Janez’ character) and three of his mates in board shorts. Now I’ll be honest, I’ve seen Janez in real life and in photos and this guy was not even close to looking like Janez! I felt embarrassed for him, for him thinking that he was that ripped. It’s that embarrassment you feel for people on Idols, who really think they are the world’s next great singing hope. It’s that embarrassment that you feel when they have a Robert Pattinson look alike competition in YOU magazine and some oke sends his photo in and he resembles a jam doughnut as opposed to teenage desire.

So anyway, I dropped my magazine, sat up, grabbed some water and tuned into this absolutely mind blowing broadcast happening not 10 metres away from my actual body.

So they’ve just finished off the:

“You’re looking more ripped than Janez at the moment”

“Yeah I know”…

When out of nowhere, maybe a comedy movie script or something, one of the guys goes:

“That’s probably why he ignored us the other day”

OHMYGOD. I was on Clifton 4th beach, physically in shock at what had just been uttered from this mans mouth. It can be compared to a bomb going off and you’re in shock, but you’re sure that another one cannot possibly go off. And then they hit me with an A-Bomb to the ear canal.

“Ja man Janez is just skinny”

“It’s coz he doesn’t eat enough, he eats nothing”

The Janez they were talking about

You know how sometimes you’re in such shock at event unfolding, that you’re sure it’s fake? I remember this on 9/11. I simply couldn’t believe what was happening on the TV in front of me and was sure that it was a weird dream or the TV station was having me on. Well 9/11 was real, and so were these guys on the beach yesterday.

It actually felt like the worlds smallest soldier was standing on my towel, lobbing hand grenades into my ear. There were literally explosions in my ear every time these guys spoke!

It was warm yesterday but I had goosebumps, listening to this incredible tale unfold. I simply could not believe that I was the only one listening to this conversation. But I tried to act calm because I was still confident, deep down, that I was being filmed. And you’ve got to look cool on film!

I mean, really guys, get over yourselves.

I just received a message alerting me to the G-Star sale in Cape Town at those select stores! Look, even at half price it might be expensive (Plebb) but G-Star is awesome and that is a fact. I kick it in G-Star’s:

G-Star’s, Chuck’s…aint no thang!

Read up on that post over HERE.

Sale starts today, get some proper denim in your life!

Yo yo yo guys and girls!

Just a quick one, a few e-mails came through from people saying they have been battling to post comments…anyone else experienced this?

If you could leave a comment here to test, and if it doesn’t go through, then you would be dolls/kiff okes to just drop me an e-mail at seanl (at) slxs (dot) co (dot) za and I’ll see what can be done.

If you’re naughty enough, you’ll be done! And the okes will get high fives…KIFF CHINA! LEKKA BRU! (As we see out the Ed Hardy crew)