Look, I URGE you to get down to the Argus Cycle Tour Expo, not because I care about road cycling, lactic threshholds, cadence, baseline training or any of that other rubbish, but because I care about girls. Once again, the promo girls at the expo are SMOKING hot. I actually might just pop in tomorrow again, you know, because I can. And as per usual, there are some absolute creatures crawling around, all the way from 70 miles into the boerie curtain, Parow, Bellville…and beyond! They’re the ones who don’t really know what is acceptable in society, because it’s hard to see through a haze of tik factories.

I love it when our cyclist boys take their sport over the edge, wearing their Oakley M-Frames and cycling shorts and everything to the expo. It’s not like they cycled there, they just dressed up to go there.

Let me just ask you, when last did you see Rossi crusing around wearing his leathers and a motorcycle helmet?

Have you seen Schumi shopping in Monte Carlo wearing his race suit?

Do you see waitresses wearing their bibs when they are meeting someone for a drink?

EXACTLY!

I used to do loads of mountain biking and I know how addictive the sport can become, but it never consumed me to the point where I wanted to show my moose knuckle in public, other than when I had to be in my cycling kit i.e when I was riding.

But I read a classic thing the other day and it went something along these lines…some people get so addicted to cycling that they start employing nutritionists and massage therapists and trainers to induce the levels of pain that the professionals endure. But the professionals only cycle…they don’t do anything else. To pay someone to hurt you and to invest hundreds of thousands into the sport is a bit mad.

Cyclists don’t come home and pay to do someone elses accounting, they don’t come home and then pay to be waitresses in the evening…they are paid to cycle. And yet we have normal jobs, and then pay to be cyclists, bizarre! We do this to get to that top level, but why?

Just get out there and ride, and enjoy nature, enjoy the beauty, simplicity and freedom of being outdoors and healthy. But don’t try to ride a pro time, those guys are paid to do that, and nothing else. But check this creature I saw today:

Wearing multi coloured Crocs…giving life a full rev!

YOU GO BOY! YOU ATTACK THOSE HILLS! YOU BUST A HOLE RIGHT THROUGH THAT LACTATE THRESHHOLD! YOU SMASH THAT PB! YOU WEAR THAT HEART RATE MONITOR!

YOU WIN LIFE!

I’ve spoken about Loaded Smoothies before, but they’ve completely sold me on the brand after their spectacular performance this past weekend at Pro-X! I don’t even know what to say. This week is dedicated to girls because for some or other reason, Cape Town and it’s surrounds have just been filled with ridiculously beautiful girls! More so than ever before…

Third from left wearing the Aviators — EXACTLY my type!

Wearing the Aviators, naughty grin — I’m not even joking, I think I’m in love

Camera champ getting a nice angle of Roxy’s ass

Hey kid! Sneaky little bugger! That is sure to be a lady slayer when he’s older

I love that brand. I love those girls. I love Loaded Smoothies.

I’m dedicating this day to love.

So I saw some photos come up on the Facebook application inside the internet machine the other day with our mate Grant…and he was in some sort of green room with some complete hottie!

The photo that made me green with envy (See how funny I am?! Whatever…)

Obviously I was jealous and I quickly ran around my room to check that I hadn’t accidentally slept on a sheet of acid that was lying around (As sheets of acid do) There was nothing on my bed but some weird book called the Karma sew…something or other I don’t know, some crap probably about good karma and stuff.

I then read that it was none other than Vanessa Haywood! Naturally Vanessa and I have a long history, my ending things when I decided to pursue Ana Hickman. Vanessa also didn’t like dating a celeb, so you know, that cut me out.

But enough about me! Here is Vanessa Hayward and Grant from Gamestate…and well…they’re Wii’ing.

*Wipes tear from eye*

I…love…you…

*sniff*

Can we rekindle things?

“You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes”

So so! The news today is that Paul Oakenfold is touring South Africa this year, a little bit about our boy:

Paul Oakenfold has been touted as one of the world’s leading DJ/remixers by various outlets including CNN, Rolling Stone, BPM, Remix and more.

Film credits include music for Nobel Son, Collateral, Swordfish, The Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribbean, Die Another Day, Planet Of The Apes, The Bourne Identity and Shrek II. TV credits include music for Alias, Big Brother and Las Vegas.

He scored GoldenEye: Rogue Agent, the James Bond-inspired videogame.

Paul Oakenfold was the star of Spike TV series The Club and had a cameo appearance in the film The Rules of Attraction.

Prior to becoming a world famous DJ and producer, Oakenfold served as an A&R consultant for Profile Records and Def Jam, where he signed artists including Salt N’ Pepa, DJ Jazzy Jeff and Will Smith.

Paul Oakenfold was born in London, England and currently resides in the U.S. Before becoming a major force in the music industry he graduated from the Westminster Technical culinary institute becoming a certified chef. He was also an investor along with rockers Tommy Lee and Dave Navarro in the Hollywood, CA nightlife establishment Rokbar.

He is playing in Cape Town at Atmospheer on Friday 7 May 2010 from 6pm.

In Johannesburg he is playing at Sky Raiders on Saturday 8 May 2010 from 6pm.

Click here to buy your tickets to both shows.

I sometimes get performance anxiety (HA!) when I just cannot write anything because the pictures are so awesome. My writing also tends to strike me not at all times. I’m not decent at it all the time. the feel of the day needs to be right, the music needs to be right (Currently on Foo Fighters and Michael Jackson), but I can’t hold this back. Ok let’s quickly show you two random photos of people flying:

And then our random hottie of the day:

Chilled! In 40 degree+ heat(Girls, this is the look we like, it’s sexy and classy and casual. I LOVE those boots)

Nice! Oh and because you hate me anyway (Just say what you really feel), I seemed to have stumbled upon a pyjama party at the Hout Bay villa on Friday night.

Ha ha ha! That’s hysterical.

Marc posted this a while back and I just saw it written in my notebook now, so I had to stalk his links on Facebook to find it!

There is no embed option from Facebook, but you must watch it, it’s rad!

It’s December 2009 in Hout Bay and weed probably fills the air from the harbour area (What? I hear this via the grapevine)

These guys are skating down, from Chapmans Peak, when one of them eats the right hander, epic…

Click here to watch it

Ahhhhh…good times. (You’ll need to be logged in to watch that. Let me know if it does not work, I’m not sure what sort of privacy settings are on)

For all you crazy kids that have been getting dumb for 110 weeks…well it’s coming to an end! Sort of…Check it:

The rumour’s are true Ladies and Gents!

We have decided to take Get Dumb on a little vacation for the next while! Get Dumb has been running strong for a little over 110 weeks and has provided us with a platform like no other, Dj’s like no other, and most importantly, a vibe like no other!!!

But the good news is that we NOT GONE FOR GOOD!! We will be back BIGGER, BETTER, DUMB-ER!! We’ll let ur imaginations decipher what’s to come

So for one last time – Come celebrate the philanthropic brand that is GET DUMB!!

The line up includes some of the craziest movers and shakers who all played a part in making Get Dumb what it is today, and more so, what’s to come in the Future!

Chris Jack & Nick Supply

Pascal & Pearce

Dean Fuel

Bruce Willis

Slidzik & Kosta K

On top of this mental list of party starters…

IT IS FREEE BEFORE 11PM!!

We’d just like to take this opportunity to thank YOU, for allowing us to do what we do best.. as well as The Bang Bang Club for providing us with Cape Towns Hottest Nightclub.

We’d also like to thank all the Dj’s and the guys @ Anything Goes for some incredible artwork, KILOWATT audio for the incredible set up’s, Poppa Trunks for the epic threads, and we look ever so forward to working with you all again in the Future!

Keep it Dumb bitches!

Chris Jack & Nick Supply x

So get down to Bang Bang this Wednesday for the last of the epic Get Dumb Wednesdays!

I do hope you’re following Lance on Twitter, he is really good at updating his fans (Excuse me sir, you classify as a stalker. Wearing your cycling pants while watching him sweat on the tour) So it seems this morning while you were drinking cheap coffee at work and making cheap conversation around the water cooler, all the while perving Kate from accounts, our boy Lance was having a little leg stretcher on Chappies:

Awesome!

Follow Lance on Twitter over HERE.

I always snap photos on my phone and then forget about them, and then find them weeks later. Like this photo I found of some dude walking through Stadium On Main, at night. This was a Tiger night and I can’t remember the time, but this is after 10pm at least. Check this stunner:

I mean, who does this?

Is it Neo?

How much do clothes cost in The Matrix?

Or is it just your stock standard serial killer looking for drunk people?

Crisis, there are some seriously strange people in this world!

So I found myself watching a movie at Cavendish last night…and then going to Stellenbosch with Mr Felly! Average, but the dancer in Springboks seemed alright.

Dean Fuel…not the dancer

Oh hello there!

That’ll do!