Yesterday I got a call from Mike who is excessing it because he is on holiday and he told me that Firemans Arms was on for the evening. I was not feeling too great but let him know that I was going to smash the pharmacy into oblivion and then let him know what my plans were.

I did smash the pharmacy. I did not feel that much better. But I went through to Firemans Arms anyway because it was quiz night! An appearance was even made by the SLXS co-anchor. Nice to see some sort of “work” being done. Even if it was drinking. I have made an appearance at one quiz night before and Mike absolutely dominated. I barely had time to even take the question in and Mike had already answered it correctly. It is no small mystery that Mike is the cleverest man ever. Ever. He knows everything, which sometimes makes me feel quite stupid.

Anyway, the quiz started at 7:30 and we arrived at about 7:15, to be greeted by Mike and all the rest of the crew. Mike was clearly at top speed as he was taking a pizza apart, and he was also accompanied by a bucket of beer. The beers were soon gone and Mike was hitting Mach 3, throwing out one liners and shouting “Cheaters!” to our opposition team which included Romy, Kate,Richard and their crew. I think at the last Firemans Arms quiz night we were actually on their team. So this time it was time for a bit of ex teammate trash talking.

We definitely were not on top form and out of about 40 questions, or however many there were, I only managed to get two correct! And the one we did not write down. So I contributed one correct answer to the team! Dismal. The categories range from Geography to Music, and I actually can’t remember the rest. I think History might have been a topic as well. I was a bit sidetracked the entire evening by a certain behemoth of a man, who I thought was Sebastian Chabal, the French rugby player who looks like the wild man of Borneo. And the wild man of Borneo looks like Matthew McConaughey after breaking up with Penelope Cruz and bending it on alcohol in Mexico. Very rugged, a sort of Camel man. I wanted to get a photo of myself with him, but was way too scared. So Mike took my camera,pointed it over his head and took a photo! It was so obvious that he was taking a photo of Chabal that I thought Chabal was going to come over and kill Mike. Luckily that never happened.

Sebastian Chabal is hiding in this photo. Let’s zoom in.

BOOM! Chabal! Notice the eyes.

The real Sebastian Chabal. The resemblance is striking. 

I nearly did die though. The intensity of the questions were IMMENSE!( I don’t even know if you can use “immense” in this context. But hey…I’m the editor and I will let it slide) Half the time I was blacking out, and I think it would have been easier to ask me to explain how the universe started. I was shocked at how little I knew. Not that I need to know a lot about those subjects, because I don’t really care. But still…

One of the more classic quotes was when Mike went to the bathroom and there was a guy there who could not believe that he got the one answer wrong in the Geography section. Mike let him know that it was not that bad and that our team was so poor that we were not getting anything correct. Then the guy said something like this:

“I know but I’m a Geography teacher!”

Good times.

The bathroom was also quite interesting, and I found this poster. If you understand Afrikaans you will know what it means. Otherwise I can’t really explain it here. Those of you who understand it might enjoy it. It says “Robbie Wessels as ‘Poena’ “. In the speech bubble it says “Die pad na ‘n vrou se hart loop deur ‘n koek!” Then there is an arrow pointing at the guy saying “Vaatjie” Only in South Africa!

I can’t really explain this. 

Anywhichway, quiz night takes place at Firemans Arms every Thursday evening, starting at 7:30. It is R20 to enter the quiz and there is a prize for first place. I don’t know what it is because I had no intention of winning. Then there are spot prizes during the evening, and last night this was a round of Captain Morgan for the team that got some random question correct. Naturally we got it wrong.

It is definitely worth paying quiz night a visit, or just visit Firemans Arms anyway and it will take you back to the very old school of watering holes. The memorabilia on the walls is astounding and it’s quite an experience.

Firemans Arms is situated at 25 Mechau Street in Cape Town. It’s on the corner of Buitengracht and Mechau Streets. Call them if you like at : 021 419 1513.

Just make sure you visit this pub, it’s a classic!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

The Z3 and the VR3

A while back I received a brand new phone, the Motorola MotoRizr Z3 and I was convinced that this phone was cool. I played with it for about a week and after that I was horribly regretting getting the phone. I still regret it, because of the hassles I told you about in the Motorola MotoRizr Z3 review.

Read that first if you have not read it already.

Anyway, last week Monday I sent the phone in, complaining that the battery was still only lasting two days(This was after they had already replaced the battery). They sent the phone away, and last Friday I received an sms telling me that my phone was ready. So I went to collect it and they had sent me a brand new phone! Normally this would make me happy, but I still am not sold on Motorola. The text messaging is enough to drive me to drink, which it has. I just can’t get used to it.

I have previously used Alcatel, Nokia and Samsung, and nothing compares to the poor texting on the Motorola. Nobody I have spoken to in my circle of friends have had anything good to say about Motorola. Motorolas are good looking phones but good looks are not enough to cut it. It’s like the Paris Hilton of phones. Good looking but useless.

Anyway, Samsung is still my choice of phone and the Samsung U700 is looking good. Or maybe an HTC. Or a Blackberry. But not a Motorola.

That would just be too painful.

Side note: Two of my friends have been using the new Nokia N95 and apparently it is the phone you DON’T want. Seriously it’s terrible. Jerry D got rid of his and paid cash for a new phone because he could not bear to use it anymore. So stay away from that one. And the MotoRizr Z3. Probably stay away from Motorola in general.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Jeremy Piven is probably best known for his role of super agent Ari Gold in Entourage. In Entourage he is an absolute animal with his swearing, arguing with his wife, drinking and just being as arrogant as he can at times. Which is all cool because it is a TV program and he is acting…or is he? Is it possible that Jeremy Piven is similiar in real life to what he is in Entourage? A little bit of research has had me amused, because this man is it! He is living the dream of absolute debauchery and complete excess non stop. The tales on the internet of sheer large scale excess have to be mentioned here. Let’s begin.

Jeremy Piven is 42 years old, which makes this whole story even better. He is just living out the dream. He lives in Malibu, “The Bu”(Or is it “Boo”?) and often takes his mom to red carpet events. But he takes all of Hollywoods naughty girls everywhere else.

The Piv- Probably just before punishing La Lohan

A quick Blackle search (More on this search engine later) had some fairly amusing stories coming up. After last years Emmy Awards, this little pearler came to light, from the site Defamer:

Entourage star Jeremy Piven celebrated his best supporting actor nod in his usual way- by getting drunk. One spy said Piven, who drank Moet champagne all night, entered the HBO party at the Pacific Design Center ‘already inebriated’ and screaming ‘Where is my entourage? Where is it?’

You have to love the fact that he is using the word ‘entourage’ in real life, as if he really is living the show! Because he knows as well as we do that he IS living the Entourage series in real life. How messed up is that? It’s amazing!

Delving deeper into the spider web of the internet, this came to light:

In Vegas at the same time was the Emmy-winning Entourage star the New York Post described as “the almost always drunk Jeremy Piven” The paper’s “spy” said on this particular evening Piven was “hammered and all over the ladies- no surprise there” After partying until 5am, “Piven almost missed his plane Saturday morning”. And a mole from Piven’s hotel buzzed: ” The driver of his car had somebody go get him. When he answered the door of his hotel room, he was reeking of the night before and there were two girls in the room”

Right. Are you quite believing this? You do realise that these quotes are not actually from the Entourage show, these are from his real life!

Then there are the stories that have linked him to Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan and model Karolina Kurkova. He is also always single because of his need to find a woman who is “open hearted and loving, self-empowered, smart, funny, sexy, beautiful” with “the body of Jessica Alba” and “the brain capacity of Stephen Hawking”

This guy is just too crazy! He is living out a dream right in front of us and probably laughing because he is pulling it off.

After having watched all of Entourage up to the first part of Season Three, I decided to watch the special feature that is included in the second season set. It features Mark Wahlberg chatting to the cast and crew of Entourage. They get onto the topic of women, and Kevin Dillon, who plays Johnny “Drama” Chase, has this to say about Jeremy Piven:

“Of course Jeremy pulls his share. I don’t think anyone pulls more than Jeremy. He’s, he’s a filthy animal. I mean that with love baby!”

It is true, Jeremy Piven is living Entourage in real life. Millions of dollars, drunken debauchery, loads of women and an attitude to match his crazy lifestyle.

Is Jeremy Piven too excessive? Well, there’s no such thing, but he is testing the limits.

BOOM!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Sources:

Defamer

US Magazine.com

IMDB.com

The Sydney Morning Herald

I just received an e-mail in connection with The GQ Man. Andre sent this in, and I thought it was quite clever. Clearly we have a crew of people keeping a look out for us, and informing us when we are uninformed.

This is what Andre had to say:

Hmmm…..

Saturday morning

Clifton

Suit

Walking

Yom Kippur

My detective skills are leaning towards a Jewish gentleman- Some of them do not drive on Saturdays(Sabbath) for religious reasons so walk to and from the synagogue, so walking shoes are a good idea…?

Andre, are you perhaps part of MENSA? Because that is very clever! You see, intelligence like this eludes my brain and that is why I have an e-mail address where all of you can help me out. I’m literally shaking at the enormity of Andres e-mail.

Andre, are you the President? Can you ripen avocados just by looking at them? Does your car run on mealies? So many questions surrounding this.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I don’t have too much to say about the whole holiday on Monday, but we did celebrate it at the Pink Palace of Porn in Hout Bay which was fun. So the photo below is a toast to all of you! And to the beautiful place we call Hout Bay. Admire the view, it’s quite crazy, seriously crazy. “Loco” also comes to mind.

A toast to you, to Cape Town and to excess!

Also, I must let you all know of my latest business venture. I want to start hiring out pool boys. Think about this before you think I am weird. Rich ladies, bored at home in summer, wanting to see young guys cruising around their gardens. Kind of like real life garden gnomes. You charge them ridiculous amounts because they have the money to spend, and it is good entertainment for them. Plus the pool boys make more money than working at a bar, it’s outdoor work and I take a cut of the money, thus further fuelling the stupid things I want to give to all of you!

Is this genius or not? I’m thinking at least R500 a day for this work. And by “day” I obviously mean a few hours. I think the Constantia area would be a good place to start advertising this venture. What I’m going to do here is just throw out the idea, and I’m throwing in a pool boy as well. Our very own Jerry D, the pilot of The Bomber! Jerry D is a man of leisure and a couple hours spent around a pool in summer will not cut into his precious time too much. Plus, he will earn some extra cash which he can use to fund his excessive lifestyle.

Cape Town pool boy, R500 per day

Jerry D might have a girlfriend, but she will let him do this work. I know she will. I’m setting this whole thing up, he can’t not do it. Do it for SLXS Jerry D!

So that’s it. “Pool boy for hire” is now out there, on the internet. E-mail me if you know of anyone wanting this work. Rich ladies, R500 a day is not too much to ask for some mildly amusing pool work in the Cape Town area. BOOM!

Just do it.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I like to keep a check on what is happening with my site, and find it quite amusing how people find SLXS when NOT trying to find SLXS. For instance, if you type in “virgin active gym claremont closing times”, SLXS comes up first! Well, below the sponsored link from Virgin Active. Hilarious!

I don’t really know what to say. There was something else I wanted to say, but I forgot. Oh, it’s got to do with Mark Wahlberg. But I need to take a photo for that post, so maybe I will post it tomorrow morning.I also need a gun for that photo which is quite odd. I’m sure I can organise. Just a pellet gun, not an AK-47.

OH WAIT! This is what I wanted to say right now. Obviously Cape Town is full of spectacular people, like the guy in the following photos. Myself and Charlie V were taking a drive past Clifton on Saturday morning, when we spotted this guy, at about 11am, walking in a suit and running shoes.

Cape Town cruising. I think I made this photo a bit too big. 

Look, he is probably a hard working guy, pays his taxes and never does anything wrong and here I am laughing because he is wearing running shoes with a suit. Maybe he finds it comfortable. Maybe he is so rich that he just wears whatever the hell he likes. Maybe? But walking past Clifton at that time in a suit seemed a little out of place.

We made like the paparazzi because we first drove past him and realised what he was wearing. Then we turned around and pulled into a parking area  on the side of the road and waited for him to walk past so we could take some photos out the passenger window. Then we went out the parking lot and followed him and Charlie got another photo while we drove past him. Is it even legal to do this kind of stuff? Probably not.

Anyway, I’m sure GQ would not be impressed with what he has done. We should actually set him up with a GQ South Africa subscription. I think I have one. No I don’t, I just buy it every month.

You should buy the October 2007 GQ to see some nice pictures of Jessica Alba, and also an interview with one of my favourite actors, Christian Bale. He is on that same toughness level as Mark Wahlberg. I dig it.

Enjoy the public holiday, and National Braai Day!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Good morning everyone, hope you had a fantastic weekend!

Me, I smashed it up a bit on Friday at the Stellenbosch bachelor pad with Jerry and the boys to celebrate Jerry D’s birthday. Nice!

Where is iBob lately? I have absolutely no idea, I better check on him to see that he is not doing anything that I wouldn’t do.

The lottery is back in South Africa, well at least it will be in about two weeks which is great news! It has been gone for a while but now that it is back, I will be entering again. I used the exact same numbers for about three years and never won more than the smallest amount, which was usually about R30. If I win more than R1 million this time round I think it might be time for a small competition. True story.

Will the world economy ever crash? I was asking myself this the other day and it scared me to read this. I wish there was a never ending supply of energy in the world! Read this: BOOM

If you are a fan of Nandos chicken, then please do try their new Mediterranean flavour. I feel completely ill now from eating too much. Just had a quarter chicken and large wedges, but my chicken was the hot one. I’m going to try the Mediterranean flavour in about a weeks time when I’m not so full.

Shane Warne sent this beauty of an sms to his wife, instead of the bird he was seeing on the side of his marriage, IDIOT! This was his sms, “Hey beautiful, I’m just talking to my kids, the back door’s open”

To which his wife replied “You loser, you sent the message to the wrong person”

How the hell do you explain that? Ha! Needless to say, the marriage is over. Read it HERE

The weather is awesome today and apparently it is National Braai Day or something. Which is strange. I’m so tired right now I need to go have a small sleep before I write anymore.

I’m so weak today.

Respect

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I think the most hilarious guy in Cape Town at the moment is this guy. If you live in Cape Town and frequent the Claremont/ Kenilworth area then you WILL know of him.

I’m talking about the guy who has seemingly magical powers. Out of nowhere…BOOM…he is in your face! It happened to me about an hour ago. I was saddling up in the VR3 to leave the Spar in Rosmead Avenue, and as I clipped my radio face in, I looked ahead. And there in front of me was the man. Wearing orange today to funk himself up, he was trying to sell me a book…AGAIN. I think he does something for the Church, and this is his way of promoting religion or something. It seems a bit odd to me to be honest!

The first time I came to know of the man was in Cavendish Square in Claremont. I was just chilling, trying to pay my parking when he walked up to me, holding out a book, and said “Here, have a book” Not wanting to be rude or anything, I took the book, and with an awkward tone, muttered out a “Thanks”

I then turned to walk away and he said “That’s R20″ I looked at him like he was on drugs, or to put it better, I looked at him the way you look at your dog after it has pissed all over your Egyptian linen on your new bed. I then handed him back the book, and walked off. I have never really had a conversation with him because he freaks me out a little bit. And I don’t want to be freaked out. I just want to live a normal life. Cavendish is definitely his hunting ground, but I am wise now. When I see him, I turn around and RUN! Like Maurice Green. Fast. Has anyone else had the discomfort of meeting this guy, or just being offered a book?

It brings to mind the rose lady that scours the nightclubs of Claremont. She sells roses for charity or something, and anytime you are speaking to a girl she approaches you insisting you buy a rose. Listen, charity is cool, but when you are out at night, most probably drunk, do you really want to buy a rose? NO!

And besides, how do you think a girl is supposed to carry a rose around the whole night without poking someones eye out? Let’s not be stupid here rose lady! And she sometimes looks at me like I have murdered a kitten when I don’t buy a rose. Weird. There used to be a group on Facebook(Not sure if it still exists) called “Mumble mumble…the rose ladies coming!” This is because people used to mumble randomly when she approached to avoid her. Or they would just pretend to be having a really serious conversation. Classic!

There two people are definitely two of Cape Towns weirdest, and I’m not quite sure what they do. They are intriguing though.

So look out for the man at Cavendish Square and the rose lady at Claremont. It will shatter your mind into little biscuits seeing how these two operate.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

As you all know by now, I spent a good day of fun in the sun at the cricket yesterday at Newlands cricket ground. What a day at work! I was quite pleased with the dancers they had brought out to dance when a four or a six was hit. I think they may have danced when a wicket was taken as well, but the cricket was the last thing on my mind.

We chilled out for a bit in our seats, but then decided we wanted more of an atmosphere so we left for the grass(Or the grassy knoll, John) where all the action was happening. We had a beer in the sun, which bubbled straight up into my head and I felt a bit funny. The cure for this was a nice double vodka and coke in the shade at Kelvin Grove. We took the walk to Kelvin Grove where we were met by the most hilarious estate agent I have ever met! He was clearly just waiting for Sunday to swing round, where he would sit in a house from 2pm – 5pm and then he is free to mingle for another week. Which reminds me I must do my estate agents course next year. Remind me, I’m keen.

The highlight of the day was not the cricket but rather the crowd there, who were quite hammered! There were people stumbling around in drunken hazes, not knowing who was playing or who they were! I had an awesome time.

If you want to find out about the cricket, check out Supersport or News24. But you know that here at SLXS, it’s all about the excess! So here I present you with some photos from a day well spent. And so some of the people were spent as well! Beer, sun and fun. Dammit Cape Town, you are not bringing summer in gently, you are throwing it in at a rapid pace! And for that…I love you.

Later in the day it was quite evident that a few naughty kids had consumed a couple beers too many and were now trying to make a train out of it. You should have seen what happened when it dropped and they started throwing the cups! Hilarious.

SOBER!

Then there was our hero with this T-shirt. Congratulations! It is a fine rum. If you add an “N” to the end of the name and change the “P” to a “B”, you might care to see a doctor. But that is neither here nor there.

Thumbs up dude!

Obviously being a thirsty little boy, I needed to quench that thirst somehow. A draught was not looking quenching enough, and so I settled for trying to pick the lock to all the kegs. I fear the little blonde darling in the background did not find this funny at all. But I was so thirsty! And look at all that hydration right in front of me!

Must…hydrate…Fight Club body…

I thought the Forensic Science Laboratory “Explosives Unit” seemed a little excessive. But I suppose it was a good day off for the boys chilling in the sun. Now get back to work!

Excessive…just the way we roll!

I have for many years thought that a life of crime is the best way to make money. This whole concept of “work” does not suit me. Or anyone for that matter. And at the cricket, my opportunity was sitting on wheels. It was a Standard Bank ATM, inside a van! Can you think of an easier way of driving off with money? I don’t think I can! It was so tempting, but the beer had made me a bit slow to take off behind the wheel.

Sometimes it’s just easier to steal

And so another day goes by at SLXS that sees us maxing it out in Cape Town.

Love and sunshine Cape Town. And thanks to Newlands cricket ground, you treated us like a son once again.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I was just sitting around now watching as many episodes of Entourage as I can fit into my life, when I noticed what a beautiful day it was. And I am inside!

Anyway, I had also been hearing from friends that the traffic in Claremont is hectic because of the cricket. The road outside the Newlands cricket ground is closed, and people are complaining. Well it seems that at the last minute, I got a call up to go and watch the cricket because someone had organised me a ticket, thanks JJ!

So it seems my day is going to be spent in the sun, watching a piece of leather being smacked around by a plank of wood, while people try to catch the piece of leather, or break the sticks behind the man with the plank of wood. Sounds like fun to me!

I’m also lucky, because I am allowed access to the closed road, due to the hilarious fact that I am a member of Kelvin Grove. Which is quite awesome really. I’m going to go park the VR3 inside the grounds of Kelvin Grove, and then take the short stroll to Newlands. This could prove difficult, but I think I can do it. In closing for today, I thought because you people read my website, you might also enjoy reading books. Why not pay a visit then to Canal Walks favourite book store! Enough said.

Respect and happiness to the masses.

What? I never said anything

Sean Lloyd

Editor