If you’re in a high powered industry like advertising, then I think that you need a car that is nearly as powerful as your cocaine addiction. And there aren’t too many that are as ragingly rad as the BMW Vision EfficientDynamics. This car is Viagra, cocaine, vicodyn, Oxycontin and rohypnol all sorted, crushed and snorted into one beautiful piece of panty dropping machinery.

It’s all about the environment this car, and I was reading something about plug in, hybrid and diesel linked to it but to be honest I actually don’t care, and neither should you. At SLXS we’re not interested in grams of carbon emitted per kilometre, or polar bears saved. We’re interested in how much sex this car will get you.

What is pathetic about this car is that a fat, ugly guy can buy it and he will still be scoring models on the Camps Bay strip, no matter how sweaty and gross he is. Chicks will lose their mind for this, which is why I’m declaring it the fat and ugly mans car. It’s a no brainer, if you’re battling to come right, but you’re wealthy, then all you need to do is afford this car and all the rest will be taken care of, including your servicing. Quite pathetic really that some guys work on looking good, keeping in shape and avoiding all the pies to get good quality action, and then pie eating, sweating machines simply make money and girls fall all over them.

The world is cruel. Well here are some photos of the BMW Vision EfficientDynamics. These pictures are NSFW, because a car like this is actually pornographic:

Imagine some tit arrives at Hemisphere in Cape Town in his Ferrari and you pull up in this bad boy. He would be required to go straight home, and never interfere in your presence again until he gets a real car. His chick would dump him and he’d go from hero to zero in no time.

You’d end up sleeping with his girlfriend.

Then you’d bang his mom.

And his sister.

And finally, his sisters younger sister would invite you to to ‘prom’, and you’d bang her on prom night, in the BMW Vision EfficientDynamics.

It’s amazing how one car equals so much sex. It really is.