So I swung down to Brandhouse yesterday for a little presentation, and I was surprised to see some people I knew, and some people I knew of. Rory and Gareth from Halo Live were in attendance, I spotted Raoul from UrbanNinja.co.za, Shaun Oakes and some of the other blogging elite, as well as the crew of Stacy and Carrie and all the other crew who keep me in the know.

(Just to interrupt, please do yourself a favour and vote for Urban Ninja for the blog awards, it’s an amazing site for inspiration, and I’ve been reading it for about 6 months now, with a place on my blogroll for a good few months now, deservedly. There was an awesome piece posted today, click HERE to read that. And you can vote from that page as well, there is a blog awards banner there)

Basically it was an informal get together to learn about the history of the brand, where it is going in the future, and the fact that finally, bloggers are starting to get noticed as a proper part of the process. The last party, Smirnoff Mashup Street, was a very one sided affair, where bloggers were used to promote the event, but not much more was given for their work. For Project X (The next Smirnoff party), a certain number of the top bloggers in South Africa, will be integral to the marketing of the event, which I’m really excited about. The fact is, all my friends, and people like me at my age, aren’t going to News24 for their news, they are going to the established and trusted blogs in South Africa for their daily news. We don’t serve it up like News24, we have a real approach to news and events, offering a fresh perspective on what is happening in your world. We’re live at events, we’re hands on, and best of all — we’re not boring.

The Smirnoff chat yesterday was really cool and I was genuinely interested in hearing about the history of Smirnoff, and the mixologist, whose name I forget (Garcon, where is my notepad?) gave an awesome talk and also gave us some history on drinks such as The Screwdriver as well as the Long Island Ice Tea, while also getting us involved. I was pulled up to do some tricks with the bottle, of which I couldn’t!

Hey sexy!

Boozing at lunch

Chilled office

Oh…hi there…

Me and glass and a hard floor and a difficult trick = bad idea!

I’m quite excited that Brandhouse and Smirnoff have realised the potential in bloggers at getting the word out about events and getting people amped for them. It feels like the day has finally come where blogging is just a little nearer to closing in on traditional media, which no one seems to be reading that often anymore for the news they really want to know. So I’m pretty excited, and you’ll be hearing more on SLXS in the coming weeks about what is being planned.

And thanks to everyone involved, in what is set to become a very exciting project!

(If you’re new to SLXS, why not have a look at some of the popular articles? The ones that make us awesome. Click here for those )

So I’ve been trying to apply for a PDP license, because if you crash a car full of strippers, and you are being paid to drive them, you need a professional driving permit. Naturally, being the man of many passions that I am, I hold down many aliases.

I had to have a clear criminal record, so all my details had to be sent to Pretoria. About 6 weeks later they came back, and now I’ve had to submit those, and now my license needs to get sent to me…from Pretoria. This, they say, will take two months. All VERY organised and effective, and not a waste of my time AT ALL. By the time I get my license, I will either be dead, be a drug addict or be in an old aged home. Charming.

Anyway, the lady behind the desk was also flippin’ helpful and happy, I wasn’t aware that staff were made to eat lemons for lunch? Very weird. I also wasn’t aware that they needed to walk in a manner that the Hunchback of Notre Dame did, and talk out their noses. Mind you, if I worked in a place with no light and a sort of vomit colour to the walls, and it was named after a place where people get hung, I would also be hugely depressed.

I’m stoked though that the place has been upgraded, and I see they have also retrofitted the parking area with people who piss and shit themselves, and also have some sort of affinity for drinking meths.

It’s all so CLEAN and new age! God, Sepp Blatters World Cup money got us a brand new traffic department. With a brand new staff complement plucked from the gutters of obscurity!

I like to park my shiny new car in the parking lot, and then have it looked after. In fact, the security is so tight (Mind you: loose. Sies) that they even have dogs!

And if you’re really important, you get a car guard so passionate, they sit at your car. Gold Star service!

Car guards: Pissed. Clean.

I must say, it’s quite impressive to see such quality service in Cape Town. And if anyone complains we can klap them.

Because we’re supporting the currently disadvantaged/currently doos dronk/ currently hungover people of Cape Town.

And that’s a service to humanity.

‘Crowded House’ to those not aware, is when your 14 year old son gets first hair on ball, and decides to invite al die slette in the neighbourhood to a ‘disco boogie’ Next thing you know, your booze cabinet is in its chops, your house is crowded full of raging hormones and your kid is shagging some gruk thing on the living room couch.

This will be a harsh lesson to him on the effects of beer goggles.

Crowded House is also the name of an awesome band, who have had classics such as “Don’t Dream It’s Over” and “Something So Strong”

I have had a non stalker relationship with them for many years now and even have their 2 disc CD/DVD combo that I got for like R180 at Look & Listen. Look out for it, because it is awesome! Anyway, they are touring South Africa, with a Cape Town show at Grandwest. So you can buy your tickets now by selling your wedding ring, or your wife, and then simply buy the ring/your wife back after you win some cash at Grandwest either before or after the performance! Because it’s not gambling if you know you’re going to win…Rain Man.

Here are the details:

Ticket prices: From R263 – R466 from Computicket, thanks for the affiliate program guys!

Date: Tuesday 26 October 2010 at 8:00pm

Venue: Grand Arena at Grand West Cocaine and Hookers World Casino And Entertainment World

To fuel James Cameron’s no doubt obsession for high class hookers , cocaine and Hungarian midget slaves to do his pedicures and shave his nuts, Avatar 3D will be shown again in 3D. I know a lot of you missed it because it was fully booked, and then suddenly it was pulled from the screens to make way for some other 3D movie. If you are on tik, or have foetal alcohol syndrome, or have been cryogenically frozen, you may not know what Avatar is about, so here’s a review :

Flippin’ handy to watch that if you have/had any of the above conditions! That video is in HD I believe, so if you have a slow connection or don’t chew Big Red, then F…

Avatar 3D will be released at Ster Kinekor on the 27th of August, I’m just not sure which ones as I don’t think it says on the website. The whole re release is based on the fact that there are 8 minutes of unscene footage (See what I did there? POW! You didn’t expect that so early on a Monday), but the reality is that James Cameron probably needs a new boat or villa, or island, and someone at Ster Kinekor needs a present for their wife/gimp/mistress/Thai lady boy.

So this should pay it off.

Not on your face, but they’re coming your way. And you should hide the kids, because Dan Nash is going to do something outrageous to get thrown out!

I’m not good at self promotion which is why I haven’t asked you to vote for me, but seeing as though the nomination phase is about to come to an end, I better ask you lot if you’ve voted!

I never really hear from you people, the only reason I know you’re here is because of Google Analytics. From this I can guage important information like cup size, the colour of your underwear, your address, it gives me access to your Facebook photos and just all the essential stuff.

Anyway, I’ve been nominated for every SA Blog Awards I’ve entered into, but I’ve never won which causes me huge amounts of distress. I would win if they had a category for “Best Has Been SA Blog” I was once blogging royalty, clubs even let me in for free for some time, and people in the street high fived me instead of keying my car. Gosh, I remember the blogging glory days. When blogs were rare, instead of everyones 2 year old snot nosed kid running a blog.

Because we still run a cool show here, I’m 100% certain that an award would make me an even better writer! So SLXS has been nominated in the Blog Of The Year as well as Best Entertainment Blog category. But I may need some more votes in order to actually make  to the next round of voting (The actual voting phase, this is just the nominations phase)

Quick: How To Vote For SLXS

To vote you need to click the following badge, where you will be taken to a nomination page on the SA Blog Awards. The badge you click below has all the information on which categories SLXS have been nominated in, so you don’t need to choose a category, it has all been done for you (We’re going for Blog Of The Year and Best Entertainment Blog)

Click to vote for SLXS

• From there you need to enter your e-mail address and a security code (To verify you are an actual human and not a computer) on the right hand block on the page.

• Then click ‘Submit’

• You will then receive an e-mail with a link to click. This is the final stage of your nomination for SLXS, and you need to click the verification link to nominate SLXS. Click that and bang…We’ll be well on our way to winning!

There are a few other blogs that you should also be voting for, please do support these guys, as they are the other blogs I read, and I’d be proud if SLXS or any of these guys won an award at the SA Blog Awards. They all have nominations badges on their site, you just need to click their names, click their badges and vote, in the same way as you did for SLXS:

Slick Tiger — Because he wrote the Slick Tiger Guide To Klapping Gym Boet. Enough said.

Bangersandnash.com — Nash is a rock star, and still just ‘get’s’ what blogging is about. It’s not about writing about every stupid thing just to get higher search results and get paid, Nash has based his site on solid writing, and he’s not afraid to try new things. He blogs about things he has actually done, and he does them in the most decadent and debaucherous ways possible — in a haze of cigarette smoke and alcohol. And he wants to get thrown out of the SA Blog Awards (HERE). I am BEYOND excited about this years awards, thanks to Nash.

MyCityByNight — I remember a time when I could party like these guys, so in essence I live my hedonistic days through Craig and the guys at MyCityByNight. They cover virtually every single party in Cape Town, and you will love them! They’ve even interviewd Danny K. JUSSUS!

Man Of The Cloth — If you’re a guy and you want to dress better, there is no other fashion blog that you need. Man Of The Cloth’s Marco is actually in the fashion industry, which helps! He’s stylish and smart, and knows how to make people look good.

And that’s it, let’s try win something!

Thanks for your support, and also, since I started blogging again in the old school way, SLXS is going back to the top. Pageviews are up 55.70% according to Google Analytics.

Sweeeeet!

Most people were upset yesterday that they missed the cooling towers in Cape Town being blown up, because they blew up 4 minutes early or something. You probably also missed the jet that flew through them:

Gosh, I can’t believe you missed that.

Were you drunk or something? Were you on tik?

(Thanks Jerry D)

A selection of my fully authentic, fully piad for DVD’s, book and CD’s…Gosh I’m a good boy!

The world today is a weird place, compared to when we were growing up as kids. Back in the day we bought music, saving up for those albums we really wanted. Nirvana’s Nevermind, Lives ‘Throwing Copper’, and hell if you liked to wear pink Tutus as a young boy you probably bought a Spice Girls album. We also paid for news at one point in time, but now we refuse to pay for anything. We read websites for free and as soon as there is any advertising or too much advertising we shout ’sell out’. But everytime we shout sell out, there is someone struggling to make money, working for free or for very little. As soon as a friend buys a CD these days, we simply take it, make a copy and it’s on our iPod and on iTunes.

Look, I like most people have listened to loads of copied music in my time, so I’m no saint (Although I resemble a Greek God and you no doubt want me)

But for some time now I’ve believed that you should treat people the way you’d like to be treated. This doesn’t mean you need to live a dull life and go to church and drink Coke Light and not laugh when a fat person falls down an elevator. I mean I’m the first to laugh when a fat person drops their burger, steps on it and falls on their whale ass. But when it comes to some things, if people have worked hard, then they deserve the recognition for their work.

And paying musicians for their work should be standard. Unfortunately these days, it’s the exception. And I hate it, I really do. People are forever telling me that they have loads of music I need to take from them, but you know, I don’t feel that good about it. And everyone always says ‘Support local’, but how many of those people actually buy the albums?

SLXS…supporting…and most importantly, paying for local music

For musicians, many have struggled for years and years to to refine and perfect a sound that the public want to listen to. Ten or more years of hard work, and finally the public deem their music worthy of a listen…and then don’t even pay for it!

KIFF! How would you like it if you ate bread and baked beans for 10 years while you struggle to build your business up? So you build a massive brand, let’s say Virgin. then someone else comes into your office, clones your staff, your ideas, photocopies all your paperwork, and sets up their very own company like yours and people go to the ‘cloned’ business. Wouldn’t you be pissed off?

Wouldn’t it literally make you want to go mad?

This is exactly the same thing as pirating music. And if you want to copy music, then go for it. I just don’t like the way it feels when I listen to copied music. It’s like wearing stolen clothes, or driving a stolen car.

And the point is, music gives my life INCREDIBLE amounts of happiness, and this is all thanks to the talented musicians. Music brings insane amounts of joy to my life…and I think the musicians need to be rewarded for making our lives better. Because they do.

Musicians, when you really look at it, are the glue of society, keeping everything together. Think of a social event where you had fun and where there wasn’t music? When was the last time you got drunk and danced in a club in silence? Can’t think of any?

Exactly. Music is a link in our lives, when removed, will surely break us apart. It’s pretty much a fact that musicians form one of the most important sectors of society. A small sector of society, keeping it all together in these lost and crazy times. When we’re happy we listen to music, when we’re sad we seek solace in music.

We listen to music when we’re drunk, when we’re sober, when we’re at work, when we’re on holiday, when we’re in the car, on a plane,  at the beach, in the bush…it’s just always there, pushing us on, helping us break our limits, forging a path where we can’t see one. Music gets us through the easiest times and the hardest times. And shouldn’t the people who make it be rewarded for that?

Wouldn’t we hate to work for free? Wouldn’t we hate it if we had to take another job, to support our job? This is too often the case with musicians, music needs to be supplemented by another job.

I can’t make decisions for you, but I can offer you some insight. I can’t make you buy music, but I can let you know that if you don’t pay for music…the musicians can’t pay for food.

And to be very honest, a society without music is not a society at all. So let’s pull ourselves together, stop being so greedy, and pay R150 for that album that a musician has struggled and worked to create.

Without music, who are you? What is society?

Think about it…

Well whatever, that’s just my point of view.

Soooo…once again I grace Cape Towns night scene with my unmistakable presence. Obviously being a Q list blogger, I am quite high up so do not approach me when I am out. Bloggers in SA are SO IMPORTANT!

I’m joking, you can approach me! Just no touching, unless you ask me. I have very sensitive skin!

Anyway, our good friends Sex And Smut are playing tonight at 12:30 at The Assembly, as well as Chris Jack, so I’m stoked. Here are the details:

So yes, I will be there. And yes I am real. And yes you can approach me.

Because, behind this sexual face…is just a little boy!

But seriously, not a little boy in the sense that you can kiddy fiddle me. So if you’re a Jackson type, then probably don’t approach me. Otherwise feel free!

Crisis, it’s not a sign to feel me for free, it’s just a saying.

Whatever, you people are dirty.

Ok see you tonight at The Assembly, it’s going to be sick!

So I’ve always been interested in photography, and bought a decent camera about two months ago, so hopefully instead of admiring other peoples photos, I can take some decent ones myself. The prices of cameras are quite crazy and spending 25k wasn’t quite within my camera budget! While reading up on reviews, I got pretty confused as people were getting so technical about cameras and settings and using Photoshop and layers and whatever the hell else.

I’ve always tried to be as simple with things as I can, and I find the world of photography so confusing. There are a lot of great photos out there, but people Photoshop them so hectically that it’s not really the original photo we are left with. I enjoy Photoshop and I’m using a trial of Lightroom 3 as it has all the functions I need. I don’t want to completely change my photos, just switch some to black and white and change them slightly with filters and that sort of thing. Do some touch ups.

Yet as much as camera settings and Photoshop can make photos look good, I’ve always been interested in the basic, unedited photo, as these have always tended to capture the moment the best. When there is a moment in time that really matters, the chances are that you don’t have time to set up a camera and check light setting and place everything perfectly. Moments happen in an instant, and all you need in those moments is a camera that will take that picture.

So while I was researching cameras and all the bullshit that people use to make the simply art of photography ridiculously complicated, I was inspired by a professional photographer called Chase Jarvis. I found out about him while looking at Apple Aperture, then found his blog and eventually ended up ordering his book “The Best Camera Is The One That’s The One That’s With You” on Amazon.com.

Here is a little bit about the book:

At once simple and profound, the newest book by world renowned photographer, Chase Jarvis, The Best Camera Is The One That’s With You™  underscores—even legitimizes—the idea that an image can come from any camera, even a mobile phone. This is the first book of its kind. Inherently, we all know that an image isn’t measured by its resolution, dynamic range, or anything technical about cameras or photos. An image is measured by the simple—sometimes profound, other times absurd or humorous or whimsical—effect that it can have upon us. If you can see an image, it can move you.

His blog contains so much inspiration for just doing things, instead of over analyzing them, and in the end never doing them because of the thought of failure. His latest post is a classic example, well he found it somewhere, but it totally captures the way he thinks:

“The reality is that it’s easier to be inspired than it is to create an original idea and we are hardwired to take the path of least resistance. It’s easier to jump onto a design inspiration gallery site than it is to sit down with a blank sheet of paper and a pencil. It’s easier to follow a pattern than it is to test-drive new options. It’s easier to copy a style or idea that works than try something that might miss the mark or outright fail. Above all, it’s cheaper mentally for us to rally around what’s already been done and emulate it…”

Click here to read the rest.

There is also a great piece on just simply enjoying photography, and not getting caught up in all the complications about gear and cameras:

Seems like the more I listen, the more I hear people talking about the gear, the business of photography, the widgets. Let us not forget the simple love of photography.

I understand why there’s so much rhetoric in our industry about the business of photography and the gear and the gadgets. There is the common stereotype that most creative people aren’t good business people. There is fear. Gear is easier to talk about than vision. Exposures are exact, the camera dials have numbers. There is a ‘right’ answer to many of these questions.

But where is your love of pictures? Where are your actions that back this up?

Can you pick up a book of photographs and get lost in it?
Can you walk around with your iPhone or Android or your point and shoot or whatever and take 100 pictures knowing that they’ll never be for a client or a portfolio?
Do you love hunting for pictures?
Will you stay up late or get up early for pictures?
Do you sometimes ‘see’ life as a photograph?

It’s different for all of us, but when you can take a break from all the chatter, remind yourself–as often as you can–why you love photography.

Click here to read that piece.

And I think this is the important thing when wanting to do anything in the world today, you need to break it down to why you actually want to do it. Forget all the talk of equipment, no matter what industry you are in. Break things down to the basics and life will be a lot simpler and more awesome. We’re so caught up on the technical side of nearly everything…just simplify it.

Chase Jarvis shoots with some of the best equipment in the world, using the latest technology and big teams supporting him…and yet he has released a book with pictures taken on his iPhone. Which is the one I’ve ordered.

Chase Jarvis

He’s also released an iPhone App that allows you to add some awesome effects to your photos. Once you’ve done all of that, you can upload your photo to the website they have created, as well as view other peoples photos. Click here for the Best Camera website, where you will have links to buy the book, as well as to buy the iPhone App as well as view all the photos submitted to the website. It really is quite incredible, and inspiring, knowing that all those photos are being taken on iPhones around the world. This is a really cool photo Chase took on his iPhone, some people will see the gorilla in the picture:

And that, from a simple iPhone, amazing.

Another awesome iPhone App for those of you interested, is Camera+, ‘The Ultimate Photo App’

Click here to check that bad boy out for your iPhone.

So hopefully those links will inspire you, not just if you’re into photography, but hopefully it will inspire you in whatever you’re doing, to just get out and do it. Don’t think about it, over analyze it or be afraid to try it. Just do it.

I’m not going to lie to you, between myself and Jerry D, we are online shopping fiends.

I’ve long been a fan of online shopping, then Jerry started telling me that he was using Ebay… a lot.

(Before we go on, when you buy something on Ebay, you may need to pay an import tax. Watch out for this. Generally on items less than R500 it’s nothing, also try having items sent marked as a gift. Bigger items might be hit with tax, which is a BITCH! I don’t know where this money goes, but someone is making a killing for doing nothing. Some tool is living the dream from import taxes. I can pretty much say with 100% certainty that this money is going nowhere good, and it is a fact that no one is doing any work for it. The world is a bad place!)

So a while back I had been using the most killer hair wax/gum/shaper called Fudge Hair Shaper.

It ran out one day, and I actually could not fathom life without Fudge Hair Shaper, so I slapped on a hat and minced my devilish ass down to Style Studio in Canal Walk to grab some more.

I walked in, and put one finger in the air:

‘Slapper, let’s get one more Fudge Hair Shaper!’

‘Sorry your Royal Highness, we don’t have any’

‘Sweet mother of GOD. Wh…wha…what do you mean?’

‘Well it’s been discontinued’

‘Listen, don’t play games with me, don’t tear my heart out. You WILL get more of this otherwise I will simply die’

‘How about I recommend…’

‘SHUT UP! SHUUUUT UP! I’m standing here DYING and you want to recommend something else? What is this, AMATEUR HOUR?! What next, are you going to give me a FOAMY LATTE?!’

I stormed out of there like I was storming the beaches of Normandy, and I quietly sat down on a bench in Canal Walk, the faintest tear forming in the corner of my eye. It burned like hell because at the time I had quite a drinking problem, and my tears were actually vodka. Ever since then, I’ve been living a lie.

Changing hair products like Ron Jeremy changed partners. I’ve always felt like I’ve been cheating on Fudge, but there was simply nowhere to buy it in South Africa. Anyway, since discovering Ebay I’ve gotten my mojo back baby!

YEAH!

Look, I’ve placed my order and it hasn’t been delivered yet, but it has been shipped, so I’m stoked.

In the two or so years that I have been seperated from Fudge Hair Shaper, I’ve used OSIS 4 Play, Paul Mitchell Dry Wax, Redken For Men products, Hairgum Move Matt Wax,  VO5 Extreme Style Matt Clay and many more. Too often, I have to put three products in my hair and it’s a mission.

Fudge Hair Shaper is the one product that trumps them all, it is an all in one solution and it rocks my world. I’ve ordered the mint one, and good grief, I haven’t been excited since that chick took a double take at me in Standard 7. Because that day I knew, dammit Sean, you’ve got game! Many years later I’d be honest with myself and know that she was looking at the 1st team rugby player who was getting into his dads Ferrari.  Bleak days…

But Ebay is so much more than a place to get hair products! If you’re going to be using Fudge Hair Shaper, you’re going to be looking like a Greek God. The side effect of this is that you will have like, at least 1000 chicks every day wanting to bang you. I’m serious, not that this happened to me. When these chicks were banging down my door, I was too busy reading Harry Potter.

But a buddy of mine used some of my Fudge Hair Shaper, and so many chicks wanted to bang him, that he stopped using it. He literally had lost 45kg’s, just from banging. He had a chick feeding him through a tube, while the rest stood in line, to bang him. Ja, for real. So his problem was that he couldn’t work, because he was banging so much, and he couldn’t buy enough condoms. And he couldn’t afford to use 80 condoms a day. But if you do buy Fudge Hair Shaper, you should probably add a pack of 100 condoms to your order. That will get you through probably a day and a bit of living with Fudge Hair Shaper.

The stuff is so intense it should have a tagline saying “Can you handle the BANG?”

It’s like hair shaping roofies, madness.

So yeah, you should grab some condoms, but best you get the Maximum Love ones, you player!

Commonly known as the ‘Shaun Oakes 2 Day Supply’

Other than that, you can seriously find anything you like on Ebay. I’d tell you about the fragrance I’m ordering, but seriously, you wouldn’t be able to cope. You’ll be picking up so many chicks, Ron Jeremy will look like a girlie bitch. It’s the one fragrance I keep secret, because I don’t want anyone else smelling like me.

Actually, I just don’t like seeing woman falling all over an average guy, just because he has a killer fragrance. This stuff is so mad, you definitely wouldn’t be able to cope with the amount of chicks it would bring you.

Anyway, sign up on Ebay, get a Paypal account, and happy picking up chicks you playa.