This is not really something that I was going to talk about but I thought it is now necessary.

A couple of months ago I had to renew my cellphone contract. Renewing your cellphone contract is kind of like chaining yourself up in a maximum security prison while Babba looks at you like a rare steak. It’s a 2 year mess of money, money, money and loads of tears when the bill comes.

Anyway… I was renewing my contract and the lady at the counter said:

“Oh sir we are running a promotion and you get a free digital camera with your contract”

I was not that impressed because I already own a digital camera. Anyway I said:

“Cool, if it’s free it’s for me”

So she went into the back and came out with this digital camera that looked all very nice. Cellphone contracts take forever to renew and by now Kauai opposite the cellphone shop was looking like a sure deal while they filled in 1,2 million forms and asked for my signature as though I was a superstar. Wait…I’m a megastar. So she handed me over the camera and it looked delicious enough to eat.

Then some more forms and she then said:

“Sorry sir I seem to have made a mistake”

“Jesus wept” I LOUDLY shouted in my head

“What’s happening?” I said, sure that, like a fat kid, I was about to have my choc-chip cookies taken away from me.

“I’m actually supposed to give you a video recorder”

“Oh sick, hand it over bitch!” I never really said that but it sounds like something they would say in an American teen movie.

She handed me over this little beauty, probably the most beautiful thing I had touched all year other than myself.

All the usual rubbish happened and I took it home and never opened it because I’m not good at reading instruction books and all.

Less than a week later I get a call from the lady:

“Hi Sean have you opened the video recorder yet?”

“Um no it’s still in the box” I replied, unaware that she wanted it back.

“Well I actually made a mistake and I was supposed to give you the camera, not the video recorder. If everything is still in the box would it be possible to return it? Otherwise I have to pay in the difference which is quite a bit”

“Uh you know what I actually remember giving the video recorder to my brother to keep and I think it’s at his dig’s house. I can call him and see if they have used it or not”

“That would be great, can I call you back later?”

“Yeah sure go for gold” I said.

A few hours went by as I knew I was being the biggest idiot on the planet by not giving the recorder back. There was a twinge of guilt…but also a bit of excitement as I realised all my life I had been a pretty decent person. And sometimes you just want to break the law and stand on people, and steal shit. I kept saying “It’s not that bad, it’s not like you killed someone”

That made me feel better and I was ready for the call later in the afternoon.

“Well actually the video recorder is not open so you can have it back” I told her.

“Great! Sean when can you drop it off?”

“Well I’m not just going to give it back to you. I need something in return”

We then chatted and I quietly mentioned a handski would be nice. She said Sir Moosa from the store room was better at this though. I was reluctant at first but I just closed my eyes and pretended it was Gisele Bundchen. So basically I got a handski AND a digital camera!

It was singularly the best cellphone contract ever. It rocked my world.

What did they put in this whisky? Did someone slip me a roof-a-lux? Sorry I don’t remember writing that last part.

No I never got action from her or him, of course I would not do something like that! I mean…I guess I wouldn’t…wait…hold up..I guess…this is bizarre.

So here is the true story. She calls me back and asks about the camera.

“Well actually, and this is most unfortunate, I would dearly love to give it back but my brother has already used it, his digs mates have been using it to put videos on YouTube”

She seemed a little disappointed and I had a massive guilt hangover.

Then finally yesterday I decided to play around with the camera and film some funny shit for SLXS. I turn the beast on and it says “No tape”

I was confused as it was digital. A little more probing and I realised that by some divine act of God, it was not actually a digital video camera, but some old piece of junk tape camera which is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard of. Even more embarrassing is the fact that I told the girl form the cellphone shop that they were loading the videos onto YouTube. Which is not possible on this camera!

Imagine she had caught me out, it would have been the most embarrassing thing on the planet!

“Sir it’s tape, for YouTube you might need digital”

But luckily she was not that intelligent. I mean she had given me a camera, then taken that away and given me a video recorder. Now she was wanting the video recorder back so I was not too worried about her intelligence levels.

So now I’m the idiot, and I should have known this would happen. I’m good all year round, for real, and I do one little thing like this and get punished HARD. At least with the digital camera I could have taken pictures. Now I’m stuck with a tape recorder that I will never use in my life. I think I can take photos with this beast, butfor a camera it’s the size of a small family.

Don’t you just hate it that you try one sneaky thing and it comes back to hit you in the face with a brick? But then there are other people that you remember from school, those arrogant pricks that treat girls like shit, open up dodgy businesses, make a lot of money illegally, eat rubbish and get fat, and they live until like 80.

Here I am pretty decent, put up with all the crap girls give me, eat right and all the rest and one day my wife will probably leave me for a Vietnamese circus midget and I will have a heart attack at the age of 40. Then before my body can be taken away a meteorite will hit it and destroy it and I will fade into oblivion.

It’s cool though, NOT depressing at all.

And even though this is a “product review” I think you can forgive me for not reviewing this piece of junk. It would be worthless because none of you care about tape anymore. It’s all digital these days. Typical cellphone shops- Clean out your bank account, tie you to a 2 year contract and then make you feel better by giving you a “Digital cam” that they know you can’t use. Samsung probably had a clearance sale where they gave cellphone shops all these accessories for free.

It makes me TENSE!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I’m pretty sure you have all seen those ridiculous HomeMark TV adverts that show all the time. I was chilling today catching a few rays and checking up on various investments when this horrendous advert came on TV. For Epil Stop spray and wipe away. The only thing worse could be the sight of Isabel Jones who used to appear on Verimark commercials. What a fox…

NOT!

Basically Epil Stop is a spray bottle, with some sort of hair removing action to it. In the ad they spray it onto this dudes back. This man is possibly related to the woolly mammoth because he is a beast. A demon. So the spray is applied, and then simple wiped off with a cloth and all the hair is gone.

The advert makes it out to be the greatest invention of our time and as with any TV advert I was a little skeptical. This skepticism was correct because opening a little can of “Googletizer” from the internet fridge had me stumbling upon some reviews that are not so sexy time!

It’s well known that I like women who are smooth. Women also like me because I am smooth. People also seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and really enjoy a pair of slacks.

Years later a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and are what some people call “mentally retarded”

That’s a given. I also realise that women find shaving a hassle(Obviously) but on the flip side, they could cut the hassle of shaving or waxing and then also cut out the hassle of ever having a boyfriend, fiance or husband. Some might say “All right!” but we know you can’t quite live without us.

I mean, imagine what you wouldn’t be able to do without us! Let me list a few things:

1- Ummmm

2- Ahhhh

3- Well this is proving to be tricky isn’t it!

4- Ok a guy revolutionised the modern transportation with the automobile. Granted that little invention did go on to destroy the world but lets pretend global warming does not exist. That’s better!

5- There are lots of things I could list here, BUT the list is too long to mention. And if I start something I have to finish it and I will need all the time in the world which I don’t have.

6- Basically guys can’t live without girls, girls can’t live without guys. Sometimes guys and girls wonder how they actually do live with the opposite sex, but I guess it’s one of those wonders of the world.

So anyway I do realise that shaving is a serious mission and waxing is painful(Brazilian- Ouch) SO I thought I would see if this product helps.

Girls…I hate to break it to you…but for the near future shaving and waxing are going to be the only ways to look uber sexy like you currently do. I know it hurts babe.

But you know what hurts me? THESE(Click) reviews! They say the product does not work. They say it SUCKS!

Knowing that you are looking so sexy but that it’s causing you so much pain hurts my heart. I know that people call me Mother Theresa because I’m a friggin’ miracle worker, but I have not yet found an invention that is easy to use and will remove hair for a long time.

But in between my various missions around town, I constantly think of you. Not only do I think of you, but I think of the poor girl who actually has to wax people all day as a living.

I think of all of you girls.

But know that I love you.

Hugs and kisses

xxx

Hugs and kisses.

Be…strong!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

When I do drink vodka I always settle for a bit of Absolut vodka. The Swedes know how to make their grain into booze. I had not bought a bottle in a little while and so when I was in town on Saturday, I thought I would swing into Midmar bottle store and see what I could buy for a boozy weekend.

Well I will be damned!

I had been looking for a bottle of Absolut vodka that came in the gold cover but I could never seem to find it. It seems that it is limited edition and you don’t see it often. But I found it! It perfectly suits the sort of lifestyle that SLXS want you to live. It’s about the excess and just living flat out.

Absolut XS

My favourite thing about the gold case is that it’s called “Absolut Bling-bling” and it perfectly encapsulates the Absolut brand as a lifestyle brand. A lifestyle that one would aspire to. The write up on the bottle is also amusing:

This precious vodka was distilled from grain born and raised in the bling-blinging fields of southern Sweden. Vodka has been shining under the a.k.a of Absolut since 1879. This bottle is one of the few to be dressed up for the party. Unlike the threads, the spirit inside is the real thing.

I think that’s really cool and kind of sums up what we do and what we like. If you can find one of these bottles buy it straight away as they sell fast. Retail is about R110 or R120, I can’t quite remember because I was so excited to find it!

And just to make this a product review, the product inside the bottle is spectacular.

Drink it in…it always goes down smooth!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I’m always amazed that people STILL keep their wine at room temperature, thereby risking spoilage of the wine. Never mind the fact that warm wine is not easy on the palette.

It is therefore with great amusement that I acquired a wine fridge(Thanks Boardmans) and people constantly ask me why my wine is the perfect temperature.

The picture is blurred because I AM drunk

In fact…I have just passed out in the fridge

The wine fridge comes with two setting, one for white wine, and one for red wine. However I stock both white and red wine, and put the white wine at the bottom of the fridge because it is always a bit cooler at the bottom.

Trust me the last thing you want to do is invite some bird round and you give her some warm wine. You want to come right don’t you? YES!

Some people say that a wine fridge is not that necessary. Well I tell you what, a car is not necessary either, but it’s damn convenient! Just as you would struggle to convince someone to marry you if you rode a bicycle everywhere, so you will battle to convince a girl that you are worth dating if you are serving her horribly warm wine.

Do you think George Clooney pimps around his villa on Lake Como in Italy serving poor quality wine at the wrong temperature? No. Exactly.

Do you want to live like George Clooney? I think you do.

It also looks damn good when you walk into someones house and they have a wine fridge because it shows you are not dealing with just any commoner. It shows you are dealing with someone with style and class, who knows where they are going in life. I made that up on the spot I don’t even know what it means.

Wine at the correct temperature is a delight and you will want to drink more wine. More more more! It’s so damn good and the only thing better would be to have your own temperature controlled cellar. But even then it’s nice to have a wine fridge so people can amble into your kitchen(All Miele equipment with Global knives) and select what bottle they want. At the perfect temperature obviously.

There is nothing more excessive than having a fridge dedicated solely to the pursuit of drinking. It these displays of style that put you a cut above the rest and make you stand out with understated style.

The wine fridges used to be available at Boardmans under the Boardmans name, but I strolled to Boardmans in Claremont, Cape Town, last week and the guy there said they don’t stock them anymore.

So to cut the hassle of finding them, I went to Makro in Ottery and found two there. Granted they are only half the size of mine, but that’s what we are dealing with at the moment. I have the full on alcholic size wine fridge and it holds some 60 bottles, while the ones at Makro only hold 30 bottles. I suppose that will do for most of you though.

Mine never stays full of wine for long anyway as the thought of drinking wine at the temperature the bottle states is a novelty that will never EVER wear off. I usually get it to about ten bottles full and then just knock those bottles down the hatch. But the mere fact that I can store 60 bottles of wine excites me no end. It gives me more joy than you would believe.

As you can see by the photo above, having a 60 bottle wine fridge allows you to pass out in the fridge, looking pasty and pale, without having to actually care! It’s basically a right you are prescribed when taking delivery of the fridge. Is that not too fantastic for words?

Well, last week I found two wine fridges for you, available at Makro in Ottery:

There is a Kelvinator 40 bottle fridge going for R2499(2499 ZAR) and it is very nice, but I preferred the Samsung when looking at in in the store. Click MAKRO to see the Kelvinator.

Personally I would go for the Samsung 30 bottle fridge which was selling for R2999(2999 ZAR) at Makro in Ottery. It is black in colour and looks slick enough to fit neatly into any modern kitchen. Click MAKRO to see that fridge.

Talking of wine…there is a bottle waiting or me right now.

It’s delicious.

Cheers

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I won’t even lie to you, anyone living in Cape Town and not taking full advantage of the outdoor lifestyle would be a complete fool. Another thing as foolish as this would be letting go of Gisele Bundchen, like our boy Leonardo Di Caprio did a while back. That is in the same league of foolishness. So I take it that you took my advice and have spent some time this summer in Cape Town enjoying the mountain biking. Oh you haven’t? That’s naughty! Well then click HERE and see how you can go about it.

I have been mountain biking for some 8 years now and have never felt that comfortable wearing a helmet because I always look like the biggest loser on earth(Insert joke here about how I am the biggest loser on earth) For years I cycled with those R200 helmets and always felt like I looked like a clown.

Then last year I decided to start looking for something a little more rock star and visited our guys at Olympic Cycles. Being a bit of a Lance Armstrong fan I looked through the selection of Giro Helmets and tested the Giro Pneumo and the Giro Atmos. However, for their price I did not find them comfortable at all. I then started chatting with Mac and Jason at Olympic Cycles and they recommended that I try the Bell Sweep helmet.

Teenage desire is built INTO the Bell Sweep R

I had seen the Bell Sweep being used in the Tour de France but had never really considered Bell as a choice in helmet.

Lances view of me on Mont Ventoux

I slammed the Bell Sweep on and immediately it just felt right. It did not move around on my head and was the best fit I have ever tried. To date it is still the best helmet I have ever used. The adjustment system on the back is child’s play(As in simple, Michael Jackson) and in seconds the helmet is fitted with the help of the harness on the back which stabilises the helmet. Mountain bikers generally use helmets with visors but I have never seen the point in these as they don’t offer much sun protection. Besides I wear my Dragon Rake riding sunglasses so I don’t need a visor.

I also prefer the cleaner look of a helmet without a visor as it makes you look much sleaker and faster. Obviously when trying on a helmet you need to find one in your price range, but sometimes it is well worth going out of your price range for something that can save your life. Always try on the helmet at a shop manned by qualified staff such as those at Olympic Cycles. They can help you select the ones with the best fit and as each manufacturer will have a slightly different casting shape, it’s worth having a look at different manufacturers. I have never found Met or Giro helmets comfortable but found my match with the Bell Sweep helmet.

Wearing a helmet is a must and while people have often joked that I have no information in my head anyway(Failed standard grade maths in matric. Parties got the better of me) it is quite necessary that I wear a helmet in order to keep writing the things I do.

So have a look around for some helmets, because it’s up to your preferences and the best helmets are from Giro and Bell.You are looking at spending at least R1000 on some decent protection for the knowledge inside your head. Pump it up to R1500 though to be safe. Then cycle safe in the knowledge that the best scientists are living ON your head, protecting it for when you fall.

Pay Olympic Cycles a visit at:

67 Lansdowne Road

Claremont

Cape Town

South Africa

Or e-mail: sales@olympiccycles.co.za

Alternatively give them a call on: 021 671 5008

Speak to Mac or Jason, I always do.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

You remember those days, the days of wearing those inferior sunscreens? The ones that turned your face into an oil slick? Yeah, they worked at protecting you, but at a price.

You would spend the day at the beach thinking “Wicked cool, going to be tanned to impress the angels out tonight!”

Little did you know that the grease content in those creams(Such as Everysun Aquasport) would have you breaking out like Lindsay Lohan in rehab. You would go out and notice that your face resembled a 14 year old who lives on a diet of McDonalds and Coca Cola. Chicks would not dig it and you would definitely not come right.

The girls would be asking “So you use protection?”

“Yeah can’t you see the Saudi Arabian oil slick on my face?” You would reply, all geeky and goofy.

As you got older you heard of these creams that were not like this. The “expensive” ones. However “expensive” should not be used here, because you can’t put a price on healthy skin that does not look like a teenagers. You also heard of the words “non comedogenic” which means that these creams won’t clog your skin up.

I mean, obviously the guys reading this have heard these words? Don’t we all read Cosmopolitan? Come on don’t lie! I know you read your sisters or girlfriends Cosmopolitans!

Well I do anyway…

Right! Anyhoo…

So when I heard I was going to Misverstand, I knew that the heat was going to be sort of in comparison to the sun, and so went out and spent some good cash on a quality cream. I went to that surf shop in Cavendish Square, called Billabong, opposite Stuttafords, near the entrance to Primi Piatti. That one.

Well I walked in there and was looking at all the creams, when I settled on the SPF15. The guy working there was on the ball and said I should go for the SPF30, which was wise. Usually I find that shop assistants get in my way, but this guy was clever. He obviously noticed by my body language and general character that I was about to go to Misverstand. Or like everyone else he read my article and recognised me when I walked in. He obviously did some prior research and found out that on the day of my arrival in Misverstand, the mercury would be fishing in the mid 40′s. So he recommended a good product for me. Well done buddy, you saved my life. Seriously you did. Give the man a raise.

Aloe Up- Yes yes yes!

So the cream in question is made by Aloe Up and is called Pro SPF 30 Sport Lotion. Being the budding sportsman that I am, it suited me perfectly. I quickly scanned the tube to see what it had to offer me for R140.( 140 ZAR) This is what it had to say:

Aloe based dry lotion

Sweat resistant

Non-greasy

Biodegradable

Brilliant! It was actually sounding too good to be true. I then turned the tube around and it startled me even more. Goodness gracious! This is what it had to say:

PABA free( No idea what that means)

Alcohol free (Sigh…)

Mineral oil free

Fragrance free

And then unlike products where it says “With aloe!” and then you read the label and it has extracts of aloe amountung to about 0.5% of the actual products, Aloe Up contains a whopping 35% aloe vera gel! Wooooooow!

You remember that time you went to Sandy Bay and burnt your chap, and your girlfriend told you to put aloe gel on it? Exactly, if the girlfriend says it, it must be good. Aloe has been used for ages to treat skin conditions and especially sun burn. Now you get to wear after sun ingredients, in the sun, genius!

On a side note I actually have a bottle of pure aloe gel in my fridge. Two tablespoons every day, in my mouth, down down down, into this temple of a body! What, you think I keep this temple out of the ruins by not feeding it the right stuff? Ha!

Enough of what the bottle says. How did it work in real life? All I can say is AWESOME!

I would put it on in the morning, it would go on dry, and had a nice natural fragrance to it(It is fragrance free, but the ingredients obviously have some sort of a natural fragrance to them). Best of all, no one got burnt! The 45 degree celsius heat is hectic, and the Aloe Up lasted us through all the wakeboarding and mucking about in the water for hours on end. I did reapply it often, but just to be safe. You never know when you have been wearing life jackets if it might rub off. But it seems to stick, and everyone survived the sun safely!

Damn I’m impressed. What impresses me even more is the fact that no one seems to know about Aloe Up! I love finding new things, to treat all of you. Like the time I found the worlds best deodorant, Naturally Fresh Deodorant Spray(Click HERE for that deodorant) Anyway, no one seems to know about Aloe Up, and it’s not easily available, but surf stores seem to be the ticket. I was at a surf store in Somerset Mall in Somerset West the other day, and they had it there.

Also, our Billabong boys and girls in Cavendish Square stock it. Seriously, ask for Aloe Up by name.

You would be a fool to use anything else. And when you try pull into that model at La Med on Sunday, and I barge in and pull her, know that is has nothing to do with my natural charm(I actually have none), but rather the fact that you look like an oil rig, and I look tanned and non greasy.

Don’t blame me. I’m not the one who went all cheap on the sunscreen.

Drop the R140, slam on the cream, throw yourself on Llandudno and laugh at the people swimming in grease.

Then hit La Med and impress.

Click ALOE UP for the Aloe Up website. Seriously, have a good look at that site. Be impressed. Thank me on Llandudno. No problem…

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The Editors choice: Aramis, Hugo, Giorgio, Gucci, Dolce and Gabbana. All good friends of mine.

I won’t lie to you, I am smelling good today. No…I mean real good. Like teenage desire and success. I’m joking!

But I thought this would be a good time to tell you what SLXS endorse for summer. I have put my winter fragrances aside because they are too heavy for this hot weather. Well today is not exactly hot in Cape Town, it’s actually raining, so I’m writing this article at a bad time. But if you read this on a sunny day it will make perfect sense.

My classic winter fragrance is Gucci. Don’t ask me the specific name of this fragrance because I have no idea. It’s just Gucci and it is the best stuff I have ever bought. The great thing about it is that no one else I know owns it. In fact, I think it is more of a select group of people who own it. Which makes it all the more special. I’m not a fragrance nerd, and I can’t tell you that it has base notes of juniper, middle notes of oak and top notes of the seeds of ripe blackberries. What I will tell you though is that it is what you want in winter. The only other thing I can tell you is that it smells woody, and it makes you smell wealthy.

Seriously, if you had to wear the Gucci, while sitting in your office that smells of rich mahogany, whilst reading a leather bound book, you would immediately be put onto the Fortune 500 list. It’s THAT good. I think the best thing about it is that it caters to the individual who is not swayed by massive marketing campaigns. I never see it advertised and it doesn’t claim to make you into a superstar. It does not claim to do anything, rather the magic is in it’s power to seduce. I must say, I was wearing it, and it seduced me.

You can go mainstream and buy a fragrance that has a huge marketing campaign, but then you know that every second guy at Hemisphere and FTV is going to be wearing it. Gucci is for the thinking man. They have actually released the second version of the Gucci, and it has a blue colour to it. I have not tried it on my skin, but in the bottle it smells good! You need to try out fragrances on your skin because they all interact with people differently. It may smell good on those sample cards, but once it mixes with the wearer, it might not be so good. So always try these things on your skin and wait a couple of minutes for the fragrance to develop on you.

I remember always liking the Giorgio Armani Aqua di Gio, but when I tried it on myself, it was a bit of a mess.

Then I have the Giorgio Armani Black Code, my other winter fragrance that was given to me as a gift. This stuff is also awesome, and I alternate randomly in winter between that and Gucci. It keeps people guessing and keeps an air of mystery around me. Because I am an enigma of sorts. Well…that’s what I like to think.

For summer though I have just run out of my Aramis Life, which was a good deal. However, I thought it faded a bit quickly and never lasted an entire day, but it really is one of the best summer fragrances. It’s refreshing after a day spent looking at models on Clifton 4th beach. Trust me, I have battle tested it. Hard.

So that ran out and I decided to cruise on over to Edgars (Or was it Truworths?), to get a new personality for me. And by “personality” I mean “fragrance”, because what you wear in effect reflects your personality.

Interruption: I am currently listening to the White Barry on my iPod. Had to let you know. Back to the story:

As soon I walked in I could not help but notice that there were about a million different scents awaiting my testing. I kind of already knew what I was going to get, but I sniffed around anyway. The lady at the counter asked me if I would like to try the new Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue, and I was not convinced because I have seen the advertising campaign and it is bizarre. There is a guy in a white Speedo just chilling in Phuket or something and it looks like the place where The Beach with Leo was filmed. He is on a speedboat, or a raft, and it’s not cool at all. Actually, just have a look for yourself:

No thanks Fabio

And the fragrance is supposed to be summery, but its quite floral and I don’t think I could cope with it on a hot summers day. It’s way too much and I need something more fresh. So I sprayed it on, and then I had to leave to wash it off. It’s not that it’s bad, it just does not suit me in summer. Which brings me to an interesting point. When these sales ladies give you something to try, and they are saying how nice it is, is it rude to tell them that is smells horrendous? I’m too much of a nice guy, and always say “Wow darling, that is lovely!” before running home and having a shower. I feel bad telling them that it is hideous.

And this brings me on to another point. I like David Beckham, his hairstyle and his general style, but his fragrance, David Beckham “Instinct” is disgusting. I can’t even describe how bad it is. You must just try it, it is so bad! It’s one of those bad things that you have to try, to fully come to terms with how insanely terrible it really is. So that’s two things I don’t like about Becks now. His skinny, perma-tanned and pouting mannequin wife, and his fragrance. But I still think he is cool.

So I came back the next day, after showering, and after I had been given a 2ml sample of the Light Blue, which I doubt I will use. I went straight for Hugo.

SLXS summer choice

The Hugo Boss is a classic, and the first time I came into contact with it seemed to be ages ago, like 8 years or something. Was it around that long ago? All I know is that it is a classic. In it’s day, if you bought it, everyone would have had it. But now it has aged a bit, and so not everyone wears it. Now once again, a select group of people wear it because the trend has worn off. So that’s why I bought it. While everyone else snaps up the bottles shaped like apples and the rest, I come in and buy an old school classic. It’s actually so awesome I can’t believe I have never bought it before. I had previously tried it, but now I own it.

So the Hugo Boss is my SLXS summer fragrance choice, and I’m quite liking it. It’s fresh, young and just crazy. You know…like me. Obviously!

I also like the advertising campaign with the line “It’s just a fragrance. The rest is up to you” The campaign features Jonathan Rhys Meyers, the actor, who is in Mission Impossible 3. And a whole lot of other movies, but I just watched the MI3 DVD, so that’s what comes to mind.

I like the theme of the advert, with all the images coming out of the bottle having a city vibe to them. This fits perfectly with Cape Town, which is a city, and a trendy one at that. So it’s perfect for me, for SLXS, and for you!

So with all of this information, you have no reason not to smell of desire and crisp, cold, refreshingly new South African bank notes.

Now go attack summer.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The Z3 and the VR3

A while back I received a brand new phone, the Motorola MotoRizr Z3 and I was convinced that this phone was cool. I played with it for about a week and after that I was horribly regretting getting the phone. I still regret it, because of the hassles I told you about in the Motorola MotoRizr Z3 review.

Read that first if you have not read it already.

Anyway, last week Monday I sent the phone in, complaining that the battery was still only lasting two days(This was after they had already replaced the battery). They sent the phone away, and last Friday I received an sms telling me that my phone was ready. So I went to collect it and they had sent me a brand new phone! Normally this would make me happy, but I still am not sold on Motorola. The text messaging is enough to drive me to drink, which it has. I just can’t get used to it.

I have previously used Alcatel, Nokia and Samsung, and nothing compares to the poor texting on the Motorola. Nobody I have spoken to in my circle of friends have had anything good to say about Motorola. Motorolas are good looking phones but good looks are not enough to cut it. It’s like the Paris Hilton of phones. Good looking but useless.

Anyway, Samsung is still my choice of phone and the Samsung U700 is looking good. Or maybe an HTC. Or a Blackberry. But not a Motorola.

That would just be too painful.

Side note: Two of my friends have been using the new Nokia N95 and apparently it is the phone you DON’T want. Seriously it’s terrible. Jerry D got rid of his and paid cash for a new phone because he could not bear to use it anymore. So stay away from that one. And the MotoRizr Z3. Probably stay away from Motorola in general.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I remember when I was a young kid, I never really cared what I looked like. That’s because I had not really known of this phenomenon we refer to as “girls”

However, as I got older I realised that in order for these “girls” to in fact “like” me, I would need to do more than use my mothers shampoo, and I would need to do better than to go a kids hairdresser. However, for years I went through this whole grooming thing like a little lost soul. I was 14 and yet no supermodels wanted to date me, shocking! The problem was that I was going to a hairdresser who seemingly knew nothing about hair. I would come out of that place thinking “I look fantastic, I have just been to a respected hairdresser.”

Before: I look like hell! AUDREY! This is bush. Bush league.

However, looking back on those photos it looks like I had gotten broken on box wine the night before, slept on my front lawn, and my father had ridden over my hair with the lawn mower. Times needed to change and as I got older, girls got sexier and seemingly wore less clothing. Inside me there was a Tom Jones crooner waiting to sing “Sex bomb” to all these girls. But my exterior was far from sex bomb. Tom Jones can get away with looking like hell because he IS TOM JONES! And he actually sang Sex Bomb originally. I, on the other hand, needed to look good. In fact, I NEED to look good.

So a couple of years ago when this whole male grooming trend took off, I heard that a new place had opened called Evolv. Apparently you could go there and have your haircut while sipping an ice cold beer and watching TV. This seemed to be the ticket for me. Originally their store was in Canal Walk, but it has now moved to SHG House opposite the Cape Town International Convention Centre. The new place is great, and you can park upstairs, take a little stroll down, past a super expensive car dealership, then take a left and find yourself at Evolv.

I personally get my haircut by Shareen, and it has changed my life. I actually trust Shareen remarkably well and last time she wanted to give me a mohawk of sorts, I was a little hesitant. Anyway, I let her go ahead and she threw a few chemicals on my hair, put some or other treatment on it, blow dried it, put some wax on and…well shoot me down! I looked good. I’m not going to lie, I looked like I could wear a suit with confidence. I mean…I looked real good

I wanted to shout “Come on everybody…Come and see how good I look!”

I actually don’t really say that, nor do I intend to. It’s for the purpose of this article.

After: Shareen bent my hair like Beckhams

Wearing a mohawk with a suit tells the ladies “Yeah…I might be an investment banker by day, but by night…by night I’m a party animal and a Lionel Ritchie crooner. I run this city” Unfortunately, I never wore the suit, but it would have been awesome I think. I should try it next time. Maybe even pull out the old tweed suit, which when paired with a mohawk says “I might be of the old school, opening doors for the ladies, taking their coats off(Um…at the restaurant of course…not…ok whatever) and complimenting them on that lovely new set of earrings. However by night…by night I’m a rock star. And a crooner”

Evolv offer all sorts of things now including haircuts, shaves, massages, skin treatments and nail treatments. Hell, you can even bend it like Beckham and get waxed at Evolv. Painful.

The place is fantastic and it always feels like home when I am there. I usually arrive a little bit early, and then sit on the leather couch reading a GQ or whatever else is on offer to read. As soon as I sit down I am always offered a drink, and then I just relax there watching TV, on their projection screen TV. The only problem is that when the sun is shining brightly, it is a little hard to see the projection on the wall. Other than that, I could sleep at Evolv. Everyone is friendly and people are always chatting, Shareen always smiles when she sees me(Only because she knows she can abuse me into doing some other hairstyle) and it’s just a really awesome experience.

I think that is the key these days, to offer more than just a haircut. At Evolv you don’t merely go for a haircut, you go there for the experience. You go there to relax and take a bit of time out. I used to hate going to the hairdresser, as it did not feel very relaxed. I was always thrown on the chair, my hair was chopped off and I was sent out the door.

With Shareen, I sit there chatting, laughing, seeing my hair being worked into shape, as opposed to being chopped, and I can feel confident that if GQ had to ask me to do a fashion feature, I could appear as the model. Well, my hair could anyway.

I really would recommend Evolv to any guy out there wanting to charm the ladies. The looks they can’t help you with, but with a hairstyle like the ones Shareen cuts, no one will even notice your face. I mean, people have not commented on my face in ages, but the hairstyle…well that’s another story.

Give them a call on +27 21 418 0533

And definitely pay them a visit at: 2 Lower Loop Street SHG House Cape Town

Click HERE for a map

Or visit them on their website

Sean Lloyd

Editor

You might recall the review I did on my current phone(It won’t be current for long if it keeps playing around) Anyway, I took the phone back, about four days later it was ready, and I was happy.

The invoice says “Not charging/intermittent/charger/short battery life.”

Then it says that they replaced the battery at a total cost of R270 and a few cents. Obviously it cost me nothing because it was under warranty.

Well then…what do I have to say about this?

The battery still lasts only two days! Most times I charge it, it actually lasts slightly under two days.

So let me take a guess here. Vodacom initially found that the battery indeed did need replacing. So there WAS something wrong with the battery. Now I supposedly have a new one. But what are the chances that two batteries in a row are faulty?

Let me take another guess and say that Vodacom think I am a complete idiot, and they did not replace the battery.

I’m not accusing them of not replacing the battery and then saying they did. But I am suspicious.

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t have all day to drive back and forth to Canal Walk to get my phone fixed. Nor do I enjoy driving to Canal Walk, standing in queues and battling with Vodacom.

I will take the phone back during the week, and then see what happens this time.

Vodacom, you don’t want to mess with the bull.

Because you’ll get the horns.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The whole point of SLXS is to only feature the best. And if we feature it and it’s not the best, then you will hear about it. This little story has been a long time in the making, and finally I have a deodorant that works. If this deodorant becomes “The next big thing” then it’s in no small part to the work of SLXS and the testing I have done on this deodorant.

Let’s take it back a bit.

Sometime last year I went through a stage where I was really depressed, because I found myself throwing out all my white T-shirts from the likes of Levi’s and Dockers. The problem was that the underarms of the shirts were all yellow(Disgusting, I know. But we all know this happens) Anyway, my shirts were looking horrendous and I was forced to buy new ones, virtually an entire new range of T-shirts for the SLXS wardrobe. I usually go for the classic white T-shirt, like our men in Top Gun and even James Dean.

Then looking at some of my other shirts, the darker ones, deodorant had left white stains on them! Disgusting and not very fitting of an excessive lifestyle. Chicks don’t dig it. So I did a little bit of research and I had learnt that aluminium in deodorant could be causing these stains on my T-shirts. Immediately I was on the lookout for a new deodorant that would be fitting for what I do.

So then I took a stroll through Dis-Chem(My pharmacy of choice) where I found a deodorant called “Naturally fresh deodorant crystal” It said on the bottle that there were no harmful aluminums(American spelling) and in fact all it contained was water and natural mineral salts. Fantastic, so I purchased a bottle, only one, because I was not expecting water and salts to keep me fresh throughout my wild life.

Well then…I was wrong!

I used it and by the middle of the day, not only was I still fresh, but it smelt like I had been sweating desire and money. I literally smelt like fresh, crisp banknotes. I have never liked cheap deodorants like AXE which make me smell like a teenager. I don’t like the cheap smell of them. I want something that is fragrance free so I can spray on some Gucci afterwards without the fragrances clashing.

Anyway, I became addicted to this deodorant and went out and bought another two bottles. They got used up and when I went to buy more…there were no more! I got a mild shock. It’s like walking into Woolworths in the evening and their roast chickens are sold out. It will literally break your heart. I had to have more. So I asked at Dis-Chem if they were getting more in and they said it was a once off order that they had received and would not be getting more.

I freaked out. I was not going to be smelling of desire anymore and this worried me highly. So I went for a browse on the internet and I was willing to throw a case of this deodorant on the credit card. I found websites that sold it but they did not deliver to South Africa. This was quite disturbing as I realised my new Dockers white T-shirt would soon be getting trashed from inferior deodorants. So I looked at the bottle of deodorant and realised they had a website. I promptly sent them an e-mail, asking when I would be seeing my favourite deodorant on the shelves of Dis-Chem again. This is the e-mail I sent to sales@tccd.com in December last year:

Hi there

I am from Cape Town South Africa and about a month ago I bought the Naturally Fresh Deodorant Crystal Spray Mist at a Dis Chem pharmacy. However, they no longer stock it and say it was a once off order. Is there any way I can get this product in South Africa? It would be great if you could stock it here as it is possibly the best deodorant I have ever used.

Regards

Sean Lloyd

A reply came back, the very same day. Impressive service! This is what it read:

Dear Mr. Lloyd,

Thank you for your e-mail message and enquiry about Naturally Fresh Deodorant Crystal products. We are working with Dischem at this time to import our products using their own private label.

I am not sure how long this process will take but I have asked Dischem to consider purchasing some products now for customers like yourself who are interested in purchasing them.

We truly appreciate your interest in our products and hopefully soon, Dischem will have the products available. I have sent your e-mail message to Saul at Dischem as well.

Regards

Linda A. Bart

And then I waited. I waited eight or so months! I used some or other Aloe deodorant, but it never had the same effect. I wanted the silky smoothness of the spray mist. I wanted to smell of teenage desire!(What?)

And then like Marky Mark Wahlberg walking through the snow in Four Brothers, I walked into Dis-Chem last week and was looking for some Gillette after shave. When out of the corner of my eye I saw a white light, a halo…my deodorant was back! This crystal mist stuff is like Sex Panther to me! They were true to their word, and this stuff was in South Africa!

The new bottle on the left, and the old on the right. Awesome stuff.

So the new bottles have arrived in South Africa and they are branded with the Dis-Chem logo and the only thing that has changed is that “aluminums” has now been changed to the South African spelling of “aluminiums” It’s still the best deodorant out there and I would not use anything else.

I have been doing some research on the internet on the dangers of aluminium in deodorant, and a lot of things I have read have said it is not really harmful to you. Some articles go on to say the amount of aluminium in deodorant is negligible and that we are more at danger from chemicals in tap water. However, I would still rather use this deodorant than spraying alcohol and aluminium under my arms.

This deodorant is back in my life and I am so happy I don’t even know how to express myself!

What I will tell you is to go out to Dis-Chem and buy this deodorant. It is understated, there are no lame ads claiming it will get you a girlfriend, but I promise you, when you are chatting to a girl and smelling of Gucci, and not some cheap Axe fragrance, you will see the result.

They have done studies you know. 60% of the time it works…everytime.

Seriously though, you need to buy it. I’m not even being paid to say this but it’s something you have to use. Guys and girls.

No wrecked shirts, it won’t clash with your expensive perfume/cologne and it rocks.

So have a shower, spray on some mist, then musk up with something quality like Armani Black Code or Gucci.

And watch miracles happen.

Dis-Chem in Cape Town is situated at Cavendish Square shopping centre in Claremont and the Canal Walk shopping centre. Well worth paying them a visit. Alternatively, go to their website and use the store finder if you are in other parts of the country.

I definitely endorse this product.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

That is competing for the most pathetically lame headline ever. I’m not even afraid to admit it.

D500 vs Rizr V3- D500 wins by efficiency 

I have been testing the new Motorola Rizr for just over a week now and cannot tell you what a nightmare the phone is. It is a beautiful looking phone, very young and trendy. That’s where it stops. I have been looking at getting a Motorola for a while now as they have a very fashionable edge to them. Even the names are cool in my opinion. A while back I saw photos of Paris Hilton with the pink Motorola V3. I should have known right then that they are a bad choice.

Let’s start with the dismal battery life. The last charge has lasted two days, which included 15 minutes of calls during those two days. Horrendous. The charges before that lasted about the same. Let’s not focus on this yet because I am taking the battery to be checked. I cannot convince myself that they knowingly made a battery with such poor performance.

The predictive text is so shockingly slow that I want to cry. I type too fast for the predictive text and then it completely loses the plot and starts throwing out words that make no sense. Add to this the small point of ending off a sentence. If you use a full stop(With predictive text), then start typing a new sentence straight away without leaving a space after the full stop, it loses the plot again. Because you have not left a space after the full stop, for some bizarre reason it connects that full stop with the word you are typing, creating a language of it’s own.Let me try explain.

If the last word of a sentence is “can” with a full stop at the end. Like this

“Because I can.“Straight after that full stop I try typing the word “See”

This is what the Motorola gives me:

Because I can’Pde

Is this some sort of joke Motorola? Are you trying to flip me over the edge? Because it’s working. So after full stops you need to leave a space. Why? This is bizarre.

Also, I sometimes find myself typing a message and then something happens and I need to close my phone quickly. On my Samsung D500(Best phone ever!) it would save my message immediately. My Motorola just deletes it. Great.

Typing messages on the Rizr is just something you don’t want to do. It’s more of a hassle than anything else. If I am replying to a message, I type the message and make a mistake in the typing. Now the “Send” button is right above the delete button, so quite regularly I try hit the delete button and instead hit the send button. People think I am smoking crack. Charlie V sms’d me the other day asking something and I replied “79″ He asked if my life was in a downward spiral. No not yet, but if I have to keep this phone any longer I will go into a deep state of depression.

My Samsung D500 was like a gift from the cellphone GODS! The keys had more of a stiff feel, where when you press them they would positively click in. The Rizr’s keypad is too soft and squishy, and so when typing quickly you will not press quite hard enough and miss a letter. The predictive text goes mad and absolutely loses it. After typing a few messages in a row, you feel your fingers stiffening up like you have been riding a mountain bike all day. Trust me, I know the feeling.

I’m not even going to go more into this review. Maybe I wil ltalk about this phone more in the future. I probably won’t. I don’t want to talk about the other so called “features” This phone is not a feature. I finding my mood deteriorating fast. What a poor phone. I suppose when someone as stupid as Paris Hilton uses a Motorola, you should run for the hills. I’m not even sure if she uses it anymore!

When you are advertising a phone to attract a young and trendy crowd(Cough cough), then you should design one with an easy to use keypad as the majority of young people send lot’s of sms’s. It’s not rocket science Motorola!
Samsung please save me…

This nightmare needs to end.

NOTE: I will do a review on this phone again at a later stage. Please do not take the poor battery life as a standard feature on all these phones. I am having it checked out soon, but I had to throw this review out there as I promised you I would. If nothing is found to be defective with the battery then I’m going to go on a cruise liner and drop the phone in the Atlantic.

Sean Lloyd

Editor