I hate Wednesdays because there is nothing exciting to write about, although I did write a pearler of a piece earlier on Big Issue vendors, but I’ve been driving around trying to get a photo of one the whole morning but I didn’t see anyone of particular interest. I did however somehow end up in town…because I literally have no other interests in life to keep me busy.

Anyway, got home, kicked onto the couch, grabbed the laptop, read Perez, TheSuperficial and PopSugar then started stalking chicks on Facebook (Whaaaaaaaaaat?) Then I see this ad coming up and it teaches yoo thu importins ov speling. Gimp.

Check this ad:

I mean, really? Come on!

Who made you?

How I’d love to kick your parents, in the head, hard, for making you.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I love being a guy, because I can have a bender of a night, wake up looking like death, walk to the corner cafe smelling of booze and cigarettes, be overweight and have no money in my bank account and yet STILL feel like a million bucks! If this happened to a chick they would kill themselves. This little story explains why Madonna does not pull off the following Louis Vuitton ad in any decent way:

NO!

She just looks old and siff, and women can’t let this happen when you’re a billionaire.

Now having said this, Keith Richards can have leather for skin, steel wool for hair and he still pulls off Louis Vuitton in an undeniable rock fashion.

YES!

It is one of the benefits of being a guy, that we can abuse ourselves and still be cool. Madonna exercises loads and still can’t be rad at her age.

Ha ha…it’s good to be a guy… (A vain, shallow and superficial guy)

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I’ll be honest, I’m ALWAYS in need of websites. Like constantly. And websites are expensive things to design except when SLXS come around with this news…

Check, check, check it out (Wicky wicky yeah…) :

DesignBox is a local Cape Town based Graphic Design Studio specialising in creative and efficient website designs, allowing you the customer to relay your needs and ythose of your company, and DesignBox translate your ideas into usable designs that enhance the profile o fyour company. Every business needs a web presence in the modern digital age, whether it be a small scale clothing company or a commercial estate agency.

Having a presentable, neat and powerful web presence is an essential tool in the marketing of any company worldwide as it allows easy access to your company. Think of your website as a store window, where potential customers come to browse, and if they like what they see, they will walk in the door. This “walking in the door” is translated as enquiries and interest in the business world.

And besides, how many business cards have you seen recently with no web address? Virtually none. If you’re not on the web, you’re not on top of your game.

DesignBox are having a summer special for an affordable sart up website plan, for R3950. It includes the following:

• Unique, professional website design incorporating your companies corporate identity.
• Securing of company domain name (Yearly fee)
• The choice of a structured payment plan over 4 months
• Two free changes/updates per year
• Up to 5 pages per site
• Four free e-mail addresses
• Affordable hosting at R35 per month

So if your business is not online, contact DesignBox and get your website out to the world today.

The DesignBox portfolio includes the O’Shea property group as well as Rawson Properties, so you’re in safe hands…

Click HERE to get in contact with DesignBox Graphic Solutions.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I’m a massive movie fan because I love the thought of fantasy, and the way movies take you out of your world and transport you into some other parallel universe, even if it’s just for two hours. I’m watching War Of The Worlds as I speak, and I’m pretending to be living basically under a massive highway, like Tom Cruise in the movie, it’s so sick!

So for this post I’m going to pretend I’m a loser with nothing better to do than try and find bad associations to a name that a brand have given a product. All aboard?

Let’s go!

I think it’s pretty shocking that Coca Cola have launched a new ‘carbonated energy soft drink’ called “Beat” I bought a can earlier and it tastes like Fresca (When it was around) It either tastes like that, or a bit like a Sprite sort of vibe. I just think the choice of name was highly insensitive, because beat can be attributed to many things.

Beat glamourises wife beating and baby seal clubbing

Firstly it could refer to wanking, and to have people drink your wank is not only crude, but it’s not funny in the slightest, even if it is a drink for the younger cocaine riddled market.

Secondly, Beat OBVIOUSLY refers to men beating their wives. So they are selling a drink called “beat your wife” and I think this needs to be taken before the Human Rights Commission. In Afrikaans this drink is called “Moer jou wife”

I remember I used to wear my vest and call it a wife beater, only because my arms are so massive.But when someone told me that it’s not right to beat my wife, I stopped. And I also took to calling my wife beater a “vest”

I therefore think that it’s highly irresponsible for a reputable brand such as Coca Cola to glamourise wife beating.

But then again they do sell Coca Cola which makes the wife fat.

And in some countries it is morally correct to beat your wife if she is fat.

So it’s actually a slick marketing move because the wife buys Coke which makes her fat, and then the man buys Beat which makes him beat his wife. So they are basically doubling their turnover in the Coca Cola stakes, because for each Coke they sell, they sell a Beat to the husband.

Those boys at Coca Cola are such sly marketing hounds!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I don’t want to blow my own horn here (No not that horn. I WISH  I could perform autofellatio…umm…*awkward*)But surely the best part of the day was me saying, as a guy walked past me with his bike,

“No wonder you’ve got no energy!”

Obviously referring to his Eskom cycling shirt.

Eskom…FAIL!

And then the three Powerade walkers. Another form of poor advertising!

Powerade…FAIL!

 It’s not ideal, at this point in the so called “recession” to have your brands represented like this. Or maybe it’s just a case of advertising your brand anywhere you can. Sort of like a “Any publicity is good publicity” type of vibe.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Naughty

Quicker than what?

Mother Theresa naked?

Come on boys, some perspective here.

But I’ll admit, I enjoyed this one. It’s for Dial A Nerd who will fix your computer.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Kulula have put up a new ad on the highway and it’s not as effective as their last one. Something about an aeroplane sized dildo appeals to me.

Do you remember the new fleet of dildos? Click HERE for that hilarity.

This one says “Time for that holiday”

You can’t see it here, but the guy is putting his toothpaste onto his razor. So he needs a holiday. Yeah…exactly.

Come on guys, we all knows sex sells.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I loved this advert in the latest Men’s Health Best Life.

Just a car crusing. Immediately recognisable. No need to say anything else.

It sort of reminds me of the Bentley ad over HERE, probably the best advert I’ve ever seen!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I must say, I tend to fall in love with Nando’s adverts.

This one is sheer brilliance! Click here to check it out.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I laughed when I saw this, which I have very sneakily pulled from The House Of Marketing. Just don’t tell Shane.

Now THAT is quality.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

A friend of mine, Lauren Redman, was recently given a brief for some adverts because she is studying that whole vibe. And I think I’m quite impressed! These are obviously only for a project, and so aren’t really “real” Well they are real in that you can see them below, but they aren’t really “real” If you know what I mean.

No? Ok but I don’t have time to explain this all.

I was never really a very intelligent person, and that’s why I hang out with the likes of Mike from BBDO, and people like Lauren, because then people think I’m intelligent. In all seriousness-ness-ness I’m a bit slooooooooooow, and never had the intellect to actually study something other than partay-ing!

Anyhoozer, the brief was for a target market of male’s, 20-30 years old, and the platform of Zero Consequences by the marketers. There are then photos of nights gone wild, where the only thing hiding the face of the guy in the incriminating photo is a Coke Zero. I think it perfectly sums up the male market of 20-30 years old, where we do from time to time (Or day to day in my case) do some crazy stuff, and all the photos ALWAYS end up on Facebook. Like that photo of me passed out in the apartment passageway in town.

I make joke! Seriously, I just say things like this because it makes me appear “cool”, so to say.

I really think it’s a great job that Lauren and her team have done. Here are two of the ads they conceptualised and created:

Contrary to popular belief, that second photo WAS NOT based on me that one night at Tiger Tiger in March this year. I swear.

There are a whole host more of these though, so please do click here and check them out on Laurens blog.

All this amazing stuff, all so early in the day!

Hey, I wasn’t named “Child Prodigy Of The World 1992-1999″ for nothing. Wait, I didn’t create those ads, Lauren and her team did.

You know what they say — “When in Rome”

Well done to Lauren and the team.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

A very, very good friend of mine and drinking partner recently sent me some radio adverts he had done for City Varsity, but somehow with my computer knowledge and the fact that I don’t run Windows, I couldn’t play them. I also don’t listen to that much radio and if I do it has to be Gareth Cliff because I love controversy and the way he winds people up. I know people say he’s arrogant, a prick or whatever but I dig the vibe he throws out on radio.

So anyway my buddy Mike Pearson from BBDO Cape Town sent me the ads and I couldn’t listen to them. But then I came upon (Not like that! But they are really good…so maybe…) these ads at my favourite advertising and marketing website, The House Of Marketing. And I tell you something…the powerhouse team of Ryan and Mike always seem to pull something out the bag!

So check them out by clicking here, and well done to Mike and Ryan Barkhuizen on their great work!

My favourite is the third one, “Parents”

Brilliant stuff!

You’ll also remember Mike Pearson and Ryan Barkhuizen from the Masterlock ads which won gold at the Loeries earlier in the year. Check those out by clicking here.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I was shuttled through to Karma in Camps Bay on Saturday night to check out the vibe with the B2R Team in the B2R Truck.

Something that I found very clever was the stamps that Karma give you upon entrance. Most nightclubs just give you a regular stamp with the name of the club, or some other random stamp. Karma have got a very clever idea though tied in with Rikkis Cabs.

Check out the stamp below:

Stamped on my strong and powerful wrist 

It’s not too clear as I started showering, then realised I needed a photo of the stamp, so some had washed off. But it says “Don’t drink and drive. Call a Rikkis” The number of Rikkis is also then printed on there, but I can’t quite make it out.

I think it’s a great idea that nightclubs promote the use of cabs so we don’t have a whole lot of drunk people driving around Cape Town, endangering their lives and other peoples lives. It’s such a simple idea, but I thought it was really clever, and if it can reduce the number of drunk drivers on the roads, then it can only be a good thing. Rikkis have definitely done a lot for reducing drunk driving in Cape Town, with some clubs having phones you can use for free to call Rikkis and organise a cab.

This public service announcement is brought to you by SLXS in the hope that you will still drink excessively…and then NOT drive yourself.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I was just browsing Cherryflava and they had THIS article relating to an MTN advert of a loaf of bread. It’s weird…on April 23 this year I wrote THIS piece and wondered why there was no advertising yet on pizza boxes to offset the increasing prices of wheat around the world.

The breadmakers have taken the initiative…but unfortunately this ad money has not helped the consumer as the price of bread has not dropped.

Photo courtesy of Cherryflava

It will be interesting to note if place like Butlers take to allowing advertising on their pizza boxes. After all what do they have to lose? Stoner students are not going to change to another pizza outlet because they feel Butlers have sold out.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I was buggering around now on the internet because I really have absolutely nothing to do, such is the lifestyle. I ended up on the Laugh It Off website, which carries the good stuff!

You will all recall Justin Nurse and his epic battle against SAB Miller in connection with his Black Label “Black Labour, White Guilt” t-shirts. Justin actually went to the same school as me, Bosch tends to leave you with a sense of humour unmatched anywhere in the world. Love that place.

Check out these awesome t-shirts.

Nothing wrong with an honest living

Nice for wanking at work

YEAH! I mean…kids…NO!

That’ll look good on me

All of these may or may not be applicable to me and what I believe in. According to the Laugh It Off website the t-shirts are available in Cape Town at Big Blue in Green Point and Big Blue in Cavendish Square.

Check out the Laugh It Off website over here.

Sean Lloyd

Editor