We’ve spoken about those Loaded smoothie girls before, and they’re fantastic! Remember that? Click HERE for a reminder.

Anyway this weekend sees the Loaded smoothie girls looking great all the while South Africa’s top wake boarders and wake skaters have a jam session on Camps Bay beach. with an after party at Caprice.

Get inside me!

I’m not going to lie to you…I’ll be there on Saturday. Docksides. Island shorts. Sunnies. Island Tribe smeared all over me like lube. The Bourne2Ride crew. Wake, music, bikini’s, beach…just living the dream!

Oh it’s going to be so sexual, see you philthy animals there.

I think we still have some photos of this coming through…ahem…ahem…R!

Anyway this video was shot at the finish of the Cape Epic, Kenny Belaey jumping around over Minki van der Westhuizen.

Shot to the boys at Crank.co.za for that!

I quite enjoyed that.

(Thanks Stevo)

If I don’t put this up, someone form Plastic Fantastic will kill me! Seriaaaaaaas!

So here it is:

ITS TIME FOR A BASS-IN-YOUR FACE SMASHED UP TWEAKED OUT PARTY THAT WILL SLAM YOU SO HARD YOU’LL BE SWEATING KETCHUP!

That’s right… You thought we were gone hey? but no – we were just CROUCHING and waiting for the right time to jump up and smack you behind the ears with a party so zeffed up – you’ll be BEGGING FOR MORE!

NEW VIBE
NO RULES

Join us to witness the new & improved Plastic Fantastic – we’ve listened to the kids for a change and have engineered a party experience geared up to suit your every party need!

You want a party where you can wear what you want, listen to the best music, party with the coolest people & still go home with enough dolla to get a pie on the way – RIIIIIIGHT?

So here goes:

All new Temple Entrance (Commercial Street) – Around the corner from Chevelle
No Dress Code (wear what you want ekse)
Drink Specials!!!
Cheap Cover Charge
Underground Dance floor mashing the best sounds – TECH / ELECTRO / NU RAVE / DUBSTEP / PSYTRANCE – YOU NAME IT!

SICK MOOKS CLOTHING GIVE-AWAYS

If we spot you ROCKING an AWESOME OUTFIT that makes you stand out from the crowd – you could win yourself some super sick MOOKS gear on the night! – check out www.facebook.com/mooksfan.sa

DRINKS SPECIALS

Selected Beers – R12
Double Shot & Coke/Cream Soda – R20

Now for the DJs:

STRAWBERRY DISCO LEOPARD (Live)
EL GORDO (Electro)
LILPHIL (Jacking Techno)
AUDIOPHILE 021 (Minimal Tech)

DOORS OPEN 10PM
COVER CHARGE: R30 BEFORE 12 / R40 AFTER 12
Limited concession list of R20 – email caterinatoffoli@hotmail.com
GIRLS- 18 / GUYS – 20 (ID / Drivers License Required)

R.O.A.R

Ok I must be off, things to do, Telkom are working on my lines now so lines are going to be off

As any financial analyst will tell you (Surely?), there are certain signs that signal that a recession is over. I don’t know all the rubbish about negative and positive growth rates, but I do know when a recession is over. Signs of this include:

People not being afraid of showing their wealth again to their poorer friends. Have you ever noticed that when a recession hits, even the rich talk about it, AS IF it’s affecting them! They talk as if they have been cutting down when speaking to their poor friends, because they don’t want to be seen as excessive in a recession. The SLK and the mansion give it away a little bit though…

People don’t bother wiping the coke off their noses. If you can afford it, flaunt it.

Different drinks. They’ll go from Black Label to Jager Bombs.

Different clubs. Ah I think we’ll move from Claremont to Camps Bay, thanks!

And then Leatherman have their own little sign that the recession is over, the $40000 Leatherman multi-tool. Let’s look at this bad boy:

Description: Like King Midas whose touch turned everything to gold, artist Adrian Pallarols extends his luxurious style to the Del Rey, Leatherman’s 25th Anniversary luxury tool. Using 18K gold from the Andes for the handles, Adrian crafts each of these with his unique Del Rey design, Tim Leatherman’s signature and the 25th Anniversary crest. Only 25 of the Del Rey model will be produced.

Is there a more fabulous display of wealth on offer right now? Yeah look you can find watches more expensive than this, but when last was your $40000 watch used to cut cables, screw in things and be used on those boys weekends away?

This is EXACTLY what I talk about when I talk of a vulgar display of wealth! Because this translates to around ZAR 300000.

Beautiful.

I mean, come now, you have to be seriously stupid! I received this today:

Seriously? People fall for this?

Well if you fall for this, you deserve to.

Just because I know you want to know:

Mashable — Social Media News And Tips

The Awesomer — It Is Awesome (Thanks Bev)

Techcrunch

BoingBoing

The Superficial — Because You’re Ugly

The Daily Beast — Read This, Skip That

Hot Chicks With Stubbed Toes Making Sex Faces

This Is Why You’re Fat — Things Not To Eat If You Want To Be Awesome In Cape Town

Blendtec — Watch cool things like iPads and iPhones in a blender, two words — SICKIE WOO!

Surely this had made your day better? I know!

Many of you will know of the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood, the place is legendary. I’ll be honest, we need something like this in Cape Town, a place for rock stars, a place that is more than just a hotel, a place where legends stay and great tales are made. This is the write up on the website of Chateau Marmont:

Hotels are the stuff of stories, of mini dramas, a world unto themselves – we leave our lives behind and become who we want to be. Arriving at Chateau Marmont you surrender yourself to a grandi-loquent environment, an infamous hideaway and the perfect getaway in the center of one of the world’s most exciting cities.

Modeled after an infamous royal residence in France’s Loire Valley, Chateau Marmont is a fantastical folly in the land of make believe. While in residence you become part of a highly discriminating, international clientele desiring an experience at once luxurious and unique.

Chateau is the perfect co-conspirator; as Harry Cohn, founder of Columbia Pictures said in 1939, “If you must get in trouble, do it at the Chateau Marmont.” You can be yourself or, better yet, be whomever you want to be; don’t be surprised if your visit brings out your inner Howard Hughes, your Greta Garbo, your Jim Morrison. As public or private as you wish – there are those in residence who are desperate to be seen and others who choose to remain anonymous. The eccentric and highly personal history of the place, its luscious rich past, its tarnished patina are all part of the charm.
This great castle on the hill is the set of a film waiting for someone to call action – this is the place where things happen. Checking in is like turning up in the middle of an ongoing party at a European country estate – there is always someone you know staying here. Mindful of its history – but always in the moment – it is contemporary as tomorrow morning – there is great comfort here. Sit in a wicker chair on the veranda writing post-cards imagining you are in an exotic outpost-far far away.

And when the dusk of evening settles, put on some smoky jazz and get lost – sink into the aphrodisiac of the deep couches, take your paramour on an elevator ride – at night everyone comes to Chateau Marmont – this is the pageant and parade that evening brings, they come for the martini, for the sex appeal, to make the deal–naughty or nice, everyone is your darling. And after hours – there is the Bar Marmont – an outpost for the foreign correspondent you’ve become – all hotel guests are insiders – there is no velvet rope here. You are on liberty, sabbatical, furlough from your familiar life, you feel the heat, the sweat, the late night lust that is LA. This is the place you can most be yourself and it is the only grand hotel you can call home.

-by A.M Homes

How awesome is that?

Some facts on the Chateau Marmont(I think — it’s from Wikipedia):

• In 1982, John Belushi died of a drug overdose in one of its garden bungalows.
• Greta Garbo loved to stay in the Chateau Marmont for weeks during her infamous seclusion period and would not leave her room for days. She also attended many lavish and glamorous parties here in her movie star days.
• Fashion photographer Helmut Newton died on January 23, 2004, after his car crashed into a wall on the driveway of the hotel.
• It appears in the HBO  series Entourage, when director “Billy Walsh” meets with “Vincent Chase” to discuss Queens Boulevard.
• Hunter S. Thompson was often a guest at the hotel.
• Howard Hughes moved into the attic of the hotel and would spy on beautiful women in the pool area using prism binoculars.
• Lindsay Lohan stayed at the hotel following her July 24, 2007, arrest for drunk driving. She also lived at the Chateau between 2005 and 2006.

So that’s just a little note to let you know that if you’re going to Hollywood, there is only one hotel I want you to visit.

Click here for the Chateau Marmont website.

(Spotted in Cape Town today)

You have to wonder where our police budgets come from, because the boys waste no money on the big toys! Huge petrol prices aren’t an issue:

Why? Because they’re the SAPS and they can!

I don’t know why I have a thing for celebrity endorsements, but I do. I see things in movies and on celebrities and I immediately think “Ooooooh I must have that!” I’ve had an obsession for Oakley Inmates since watching The Book Of Eli, and I generally want everything cool from the movies. I’ll get the Inmates, but I’ve just bought a new set of Bans. And I still need to fit in that order of 30000 cans of baked beans.

You do know baked beans are going to be in short supply and high demand from 31 August 2010? You don’t? Interesting.

Moving on swiftly.

The Harrington jacket is awesome, and like Ray Ban Wayfarers and Ray Ban Aviators, you need to buy the original. Buying the copy just makes you look cheap and…well…plebb-ish. If you’re going to be dressing like Elvis and McQueen, go for the G9 Original Harrington Jacket from Baracuta clothing.

With winter coming up it will be the perfect gift to bring back from those world travels. Does anyone know if we can buy these bad boys in South Africa? They have the vintage fit, the original fit and the slim fit for people like me who forgot to take their protein and pump it in the gym…BRU.

Anyway Click here to check out the range, it’s quite mad cool wicked styles.

So Sportograf were at the Cape Epic and they took some sick photos:

Pap wiel

Click here for the gallery.

I’m pretty sure there is a bounty out there to in fact catch me not chilling. I think there is probably a huge amount of money on offer for the person that catches me doing anything remotely productive! You actually may as well give up now because there is no chance that you will see me crunching numbers or wearing a suit.

I decided to hurt the Two Oceans Half Marathon on Saturday by watching it instead of running it, which is basically the only way to do it. Instead of actually standing there (Standing wastes energy — I love nature too much to waste energy!), we just pulled the couch out the mansion and chilled! Sam Paddock caught me good:

The only problem was that we didn’t think to pull a spotlight out, because it was quite dark when the runners came past and there were so many hot birds running! Another reason why I should join a Constantia running club. Seriously, so many hotties run that running should feature more on my list of things to watch.

Between running and wedding crashing, I’ll be surrounded by more women than oxygen, a monumental feat. I also enjoy the fact that Nike make such great womens running gear, with fantastic cuts. Saturday was like a model casting on front of the house, just with some sweaty older dudes blurring out my rad view from time to time.

I did thoroughly enjoy it though, and I am quite tired from the whole thing. Which is why I’m going to take this week to myself, and we’ll also surely be takin g the Range Rover for s spin. Maybe we’ll also finally get our first video done. I’m not sure if I’ll have time, what with my schedule being so hectic.

MILF Hunt at Vida, drive the Range, watch Top Gear, watch Jonathan Ross, write an article…There is surely no way I can fit any more activities into this action packed week.

It’s amazing that I never get sick after going to the siff infested Tiger Tiger in Claremont. The place is packed full of sweat and the rich scent of teenage desire, with a dose of chunder and guys pissing on the bars. Great! No jokes, one oke was so boozed on Thursday night that he was pissing at the bar, but facing the wrong way, pissing all over the carpet. Thankfully The Mike kicked him out swiftly.

But I put it down to keeping a dirty mind which actually keeps me looking so youthful, and keeping my hands clean with Germstar.

Entrepeneur magazine: Somehow continues to disappoint me

It’s the perfect hand cleaner for the aspiring alcoholic! Because from what I know it is essentially pure alcohol which is flipping handy for when you’re on a boring date. You just take a couple sprays up the nose or in the eyes, your date gets better looking and then you start projectile vomiting which means you will never need to go on another date with him/her again. Especially if you vomit on your date! Instant romance killer, and a high five to you my squire.

Hey? Call me Dr Phil people! I’m a regular shrink around these parts.

Hey miss! Control yourself…there is plenty of me to go around, but I must insist that you wait in line. You’ll get your 3 minutes of The Sean.

Three minutes not enough? Well that’s all I got! That’s a round in a heavy weight title match.

It’s cool though because it actually has a mint scent. You’d think this would be standard issue equipment for going on dates with Paris Hilton, because it kills 99,9% of germs on contact. Great for her undercarriage/drivetrain, which has been known to pick up debris from the road (Going around the block so many times)

They also have a touchless dispenser that you can buy, you put your hand underneath and it dispenses a dose of the hand cleaner, very cool. They actually have these at hospitals. How do I know? Because I was in hospital a month ago for my penis enlargement.

Jokes!

I don’t have surgery for that, I just use this bad boy from Mantality.co.za, the only mens online store that I use and trust:

Hey? Yeah that’s why chicks call you Minute Steak and they call me T-BONE. Pow! Pow pow!

So I just thought it was important to let you know about this hand cleaner, I got mine at Dis-Chem and NO it’s not a chick thing to carry around hand cleaner.

Unless you want to put someones ass in your mouth when next you’re eating.

Oh and do you see how the chicks selling the Big Issue keep the notes in their tits when giving you change?

EXACTLY.

Shut up! Shut your mouth!

I’m right, you’re wrong. Bong!

Sorry, it’s the heat stroke. It really is, I haven’t been in the sun for a while and then I was today, and three Red Bulls, and just stuff, you know, life stuff!

*Sean collapses on a pile on the floor, just needs a hug*

*No one is there to hug him, he cries*

You know, because real men cry too! I can build things! I can eat steak! I can drink kegs! I can chat up chicks!

But deep beneath this playboy exterior, I’m a sensitive boy. Like Peter Pan!

Crisis, this article was pathetic and ridiculous, have you ever in your life seen such horrendous ‘humour’, and writing? Because I haven’t. I’m actually not even going to claim this, my alter ego definitely wrote this because I can’t remember it.

*Lies down*

I’m not quite sure how this is going to work or what the plans are, but it’s driving around Facebook at quite a pace. So if you like to get pants-shittingly drunk, then this is probably for you:

Tequila Town will be open for 4 months only.

We have many brands local and international who have jumped on board with us. Expect many tequila brands from Mexico, Mexican beers, Tequila Tastings, Cocktail Making Lessons, Brand Promotions run throughout the week, Vibey ambiance, Great social vibes, Exclusive Branded private parties AND MUCH MUCH MORE

Tequila Town will be a fully functional bar selling all other different products too…..But make sure to try some of our great range of Tequila’s

EXPECT THE BIGGEST SELECTION OF TEQUILA TO HIT THE MOTHER CITY !!!

Click HERE for the Facebook group.

There is literally nothing better than a town where people piss themselves and then start violently chundering everywhere!

I’m sure they promote responsible drinking, but tequila and responsible are hardly ever used together. Expect lots of nakedness. In that case, count me in.

The best line I’ve ever heard was actually used last night, by some guy, on some girl. This guy walks up to this girl early on in the night at the bar and says

“Hey there, can I buy you a drink?”

“Um…yeah…yeah that would be great”

“Aprils Fools, waaaaaaaa haaaaaaaa ha!”

And he walks away.

Someone get the man another beer, for he is a GOD!