One of the things I have never been able to do, is talk like some English ponce!

I remember when I was studying journalism, you had the keen beans in class, always trying to outdo everyone with their highly advanced grasp of the English language. They’d use words that probably hadn’t been used since the Queen last had sex (With a man), and most of the time I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I’ve seen it with blogs as well, guys starting them and trying to be like writers, using words that no one understands. When reading a blog, you want a respite from your boring day, you don’t want to have to concentrate like you’re reading a damn Stephen Hawking journal. Needless to say, I’ve always avoided complicated language firstly because people don’t like reading it, and secondly because I’m too stupid to understand the words anyway.

Which is why I simply LOVED the words the Daily Mail used when some chick tried to grab David Backham’s kugelsak! This chick basically wanted to cup his balls to see if they measured up like they were in the Armani underwear advert. If you want to read the article, it is HERE.

But enjoy the photos below, and the exact words that Daily Mail used, it’s astonishing…

Shock: The moment David realises the female presenter was making an inappropriate advance

Culprit: David’s security quickly hustled him away from Di Cioccio after his person was breached

I like it how Becks acts shocked, ha ha only for the cameras!

Now it’s no surprise that woman (Older ones especially) are constantly wanting to grab, touch and tongue my balls, so it’s safe to say that in the next three to four days I will be shouting

“EXCUSE ME MISS I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD NOT BREACH MY PERSON WITH THAT INAPPROPRIATE ADVANCE ON MY CROWN JEWELS!”

It’s going to be awesome!