Just like I’ve forgotten my very own birthday for the last two years, so I forgot to wish my readers who celebrate Christmas, a happy Christmas! But you know, in between supermodels, dogs and watching You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, oh and Llandudno, there hasn’t been much tome for thinking, let alone rational thinking. I’d try write, but it’s damn difficult when you’re having a braai, or on the beach, or just tanning at the pool while looking at the beach. Such is life.

So my best Christmas wishes go out to you! Myself and Alessandra were just chilling earlier, and she wanted to wish you guys and girls a merry Christmas as well, here we go!

Just chilling babes!

But I’m still alive, evidence from the past few weeks:

This is what I do, every day

I’m battling to post the babies and the dead crack whores stuffed with money and drugs that I have, any ideas?

Marks’s 95kg dog is like having a horse inside your house

But it’s more like a person, sitting on the couch with us, watching You Don’t Mess With The Zohan

So everything is all good on this side, we’ll get into more real writing only into next week. Updates will happen here as I feel necessary. I don’t do Twitter updates because I don’t feel it necessary to upload every second of my life online, from what I’m eating, drinking, or looking at to just random comments “Sean is bored” Twitter just hasn’t made a big impression on me. The website is where it’s all happening, so keep an eye out here.

I’m not neglecting you, I’m just living on the beach, which makes internet difficult, and to be honest, why write when you can just do nothing and stare at chicks in bikinis instead?

Exactly! In fact, I’m so chilled we may not even come back to SLXS. If you don’t hear from me for three weeks, consider me retired. This writing thing gets a bit much! Retirement is on the horizon.

Kisses.

Yeah, and like lank high fives and Ed Hardy wife beaters and chilling with my broad, just klapping some HGH and Muscle Milk BRU! Going to Sandton Square my CHINA. Check how DAK I am boeta. Pek deck, check it.

Can you honestly handle the amount of Joburg that is currently is Cape Town? It’s easy to spot. Okes who have so much muscle they cannot walk, coupled with a ‘broad’ who weight 40kg’s and is sporting the Ed Hardy trucker with a tank top and tiny shorts and a fake tan.

No okes must be dak boet, gotta look after my broad.

Hey bru, are you checking my chick out? I’ll moer you.

Ja bru, don’t even look this way.

I’m on animal PAK’S my China. I’ll flatten you.

Honestly, do I come to Joburg and behave like a this? You’re welcome to come to Cape Town and have an awesome time, but behave, and just chill. No ones out to get you. No ones out to steal your ‘broad’ Trust us, Cape Town is the home of modeling, we’re cool with it.

You have nothing to prove here, because in Cape Town, we truly don’t care. We’re that chilled.

Deal with it.