I haven’t had too many celebrity crushes lately, other than Kristen Stewart, Megan Fox, Dakota Fanning, Sienna Miller, Taylor Swift, Lily Allen, Miley Cyrus, Nikki Reed and Emily Blunt. So for a while I thought I was over the whole celebrity crush thing that threatened my wellbeing…and then I saw Katy Perry’s cleavage!

I must say, that was the ice breaker for me, and the fact that she is brunette as well (Aaaaaaah…they always get me!), but then I popped on over to her Twitter page and Katy Perry is basically just one of the guys! There is one small problem, she is dating former hell raiser Russell Brand. Which is a problem, because you know when you know the most awesome girl, and she’s dating the biggest doos in the world? And then you kind of think “But why?”

Well I don’t personally know Russell, but I’ve read My Booky Wook (HERE) and he is awesome. So when Katy eventually leaves him for me, I’ll feel a bit bad. I’m using this to get over it though:

That’s a similar smile she’ll have when we buy our first island together. Or when I motorboat her for the first time. But I just cannot get over how cool she sounds, like one of the boys! Check out some of her Twitter messages below. And I remembered why I originally signed up to Twitter, to stalk celebrities! And it’s working an absolute charm. Although in this case I fear ‘stalking’ is the wrong word. ‘Love’ might be closer to the truth. No really, I actually love Katy Perry. I don’t love many people/things but I can state that I’m in love with Katy Perry. I don’t think it’s weird at all that we’ve never met, or that this is a one sides love relationship. I’ve watched The Secret and I’m fully ocnfident that if I think about her enough, I’ll no doubt be with her one day. We cannot, and will not, dispute science and the alignment of the planets:

Beautiful!

One of the boys!

I. Love. Her.

Honestly, how shattered is your heart? Mine is broken! Pass the superglue!

Weep in silence.

We’ll all cry together.

My tears will run down my immaculately toned and waxed chest.

You’ll be dehydrated, and lick the electrolyte solution off my tits.

You’ll in effect suck my man tits to save your life.

You’ll start crying, knowing I saved your life.

You’ll fall in love with me.

I’ll bat you for 6, and elope with Katy instead.

But I still love you.

You’ll in a way always be my Rose.

I’ll be your Jack.

Wanna Jack me off?

Wow, sorry, killed the romantic note there a bit.

I love you so.

Click here for more Katy Perry cleavageness.

Click here to stalk follow Katy Perry on Twitter.

Click here for Katy Perry’s website.