Anyone mildly aware as to the wealthiest families in South Africa will no doubt know of the Ruperts and their vast fortune. Many of you may have been to the Franschhoek Motor Museum, which is owned by the Ruperts, and you will be astonished by the cars on offer, including the Ferrari Enzo (Write up on the FMM to come…SLXS were there). Well now Johann Rupert might just have gone over the top, with this news in from my favourite luxury lifestyle website, Luxist:

Frequent among the Forbes Magazine list of world’s richest people, South African native Johann Rupert has been appointed the new CEO of the Richemont Group, who is owns a bevy of world-class watch and jewelry labels. Among these are Cartier, Panerai, Jaeger-LeCoultre, and A. Lange & Sohne. It is unclear to me why Richemont Group’s previous CEO left (sources say he retired), but with Rupert’s history in the luxury realm, as well as charismatic personality, he seems like a good fit. Plus, he is wealthy enough to afford his company’s own products.

One thing that Rupert made clear, is important for the company’s future. Unlike the recent increase of detailed oversight of the brands under the Richemont umbrella, Rupert has indicated that he desires autonomy for the group brands. This is one of the major reasons we saw a rash of CEO resignations from Richemont brands (such as A. Lange & Sohne and Baume & Mercier). Hopefully Rupert is aware of the fact that micromanaging didn’t do anyone any good, ever.

Rupert is not exactly a self-made man, but has done well with the incredible wealth that he inherited. His business record is quite impressive. It is well known in the watch industry that times are tough for luxury items. Richemont Group and main competitor Swatch Group have been hit hard, so it will be interesting to see their plans for recovery over the next few years.

So clearly Johann Rupert isn’t worrying about any sort of recession!

UPDATE: Thanks Trav for this bit of extra information, as seen in the comments below:

Mr Norbert Platt, the groups outgoing CEO is retiring due to health reasons. Mr Rupert commented as follows:
“Since he took up the role of Chief Executive Officer in 2004, Norbert has achieved remarkable results in terms of building the Group, rationalising its operations and improving our logistics infrastructure. Over the period we have seen a dramatic growth in sales and profitability at Richemont, even if the crisis of the past year has impacted the luxury goods industry so negatively.

Richemont’s philosophy is that our Maisons should operate largely autonomously, whilst benefiting from the Group’s central and regional support services. In these challenging times, we want to ensure consistency in our management approach. Richemont has strong management in the Maisons, in the regions and in our central functions and I look forward to working more closely with my colleagues.”

The Board of Compagnie Financière Richemont SA has also nominated Lord Renwick of Clifton to assume the role of Lead Independent Director, given the combination of Mr Rupert’s role as Executive Chairman and Chief Executive Officer.”

With regards to the watches that’s how he roles. He is the biggest supporter of this country and its sports. Also an amazing guy who is very giving.

Via Luxist

Well this is good news! I don’t really have a problem with the party scene in Cape Town, from classics like Club 91 in Claremont and Tiger , to Karma Lounge in Camps Bay and Chevelle, Cafe Caprice, Dizzy’s and random parties on the beach, there really isn’t too much to complain about in Cape Town. Today is actually one of the better days in Cape Town, party due to some festivities last night that had me in a COMPLETE state! Terrible vibrations.

Cape Town is an ideal spot for tourists as well as tourism ministers! Enjoy this from News24, today:

Cape Town – Thokozile Xaza, deputy minister of tourism, spent a total of R116 907 on hotel accommodation over 34 days while her official residence was being renovated.

This comes after Police Minister Nathi Mthethwa spent R234 875 on luxury accommodation at the Table Bay Hotel in the V&A Waterfront in Cape Town for him and his bodyguards in May, June and July while renovations were done to his official residence.

Public Works Minister Geoff Doidge’s hotel accommodation between April and October this year amounted to R78 756, while the hotel accommodation for his deputy, Hendrietta Bogopane-Zulu, came to R50 000 over five months.

Minister of Tourism, Marthinus van Schalkwyk, said on Thursday in response to a question from DA MP Greg Krumbock, that Xasa had stayed in a hotel and at luxury guesthouses between May and August.

How is that? What you up to Thokozile?

“No just chilling babes! Checking that our facilities for tourists are up to par, being a minister of something in touri-nism” Crisis our ministers are dumb. It’s fine I absolutely LOVE giving away half my fortune each month to tax, it really gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. But I do it for our minsters so they can drop it on hotel accommodation. I’m really a giver!

Anyway off the topic…

Let’s have a look what the book is about, ‘Lonely Planet’s 1000 Ultimate Experiences’:

Want to find out what the world’s strangest festival is? How about where you can find the most spectacular tropical paradise or the most delicious street food? The answers are all in Lonely Planet’s new title 1000 Ultimate Experiences which brings together 1000 ideas, places and activities to inspire and entertain travellers.

Lonely Planet Co-Founder Tony Wheeler writes in the book’s introduction: “I’ve always had travel lists going: things I really must get around to doing, experiences I just might get around to and places that I simply cannot understand why I haven’t yet put a tick beside. 1000 Ultimate Experiences simply takes the sort of lists that I draw up and extends them in every direction.”
The book includes a diverse range of experiences which are compiled into lists under different themes and which together total 1000 things to do and places to see.
The lists include:

Classic experiences such as “Best value destinations” and “Ultimate driving holidays”
Adventurous experiences such as the “Biggest adrenalin rush” and “Ultimate water-sports adventures”
Quirky experiences such as the “Most bizarre restaurants and bars” and “Top 10 big objects”
Inspirational experiences such as “Best beaches to swing a hammock” and “Unmissable under-the-radar destinations”

This is what Lonely Planet had to say on Cape Town:

With the 2010 World Cup bringing a global audience to South Africa, the partying will only get harder as travellers converge on a city already well known for nightlife. Luxuriate om some of the world’s best beaches by day and kick back under the moonlight at suave cocktail bars by night. Two hours East, in the Indian Ocean, lies the elegant beach village of Mossel Bay, with more great beaches and chic flair. Visitors must try some of the wines crafted by South Africa’s world-renowned vintners, either at a Cape Town bar or at one of several wineries nearby.

Awesome!

Obviously for wine you can’t quite go wrong with Spier (HERE), who aren’t doing too badly apparently, some recent news of their award winning ways:

Spier has clinched five double gold- and six gold medals at the Veritas Awards 2009; a performance that has been noted as the best in years at the prestigious event.

The medals were largely awarded to wines within the Spier Private Collection range. Featuring strongly once again were the Spier Private Collection Shiraz and Spier Private Collection Pinotage; wines whose earlier vintages have been awarded trophies at such prestigious meets as Concours Mondial de Bruxelles and London’s International Wine & Spirit Competition, a place in the ABSA Top Ten Pinotage Competition, and a host of additional top awards.

The double gold medal winners at Veritas include:

Spier Private Collection Pinotage 2007
Spier Private Collection Shiraz 2007
Spier Private Collection Chardonnay 2007
Woolworths Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve 2007
Woolworths True to Terroir The Hutton Cabernet Sauvignon 2007

The gold medals were won by:

Spier Private Collection Cabernet Sauvignon 2006
Spier Vintage Selection Cabernet Sauvignon 2007
Spier Private Collection Chardonnay 2008
Woolworths True to Terroir Koffie Klip Merlot 2007
Woolworths True to Terroir The Abacus Chardonnay 2008
Lesobo Pinotage 2007

The medal scoop included 11 silver medals and 9 bronze.

Look if I were coming to Cape Town I’d rent this villa in Camps Bay in Cape Town:

Terrible! Ghastly! HATING Cape Town!

Or wait, would I perhaps stay in Ellerman House, the hotel that they used as the St Barts Hotel in the movie Lord Of War? Remember Ellerman House? Click here for a refresher if you have forgotten.

Ellerman House in Cape Town

From there I’d get my driver to take me to the Twelve Apostles Spa for a massage at their awesome spa:

I can totally handle that!

And then for nightlife oh it’s an easy choice! Caprice, Karma, Chevelle, The Assembly, Long Street in Town and you’re onto a winner! Because Karma overlooks the Camps Bay strip and attracts some of the more beautiful people of the world!

Some of the ladies enjoying Karma Lounge in Camps Bay

But obviously I wouldn’t drink and drive, ever, and I’d also like to get VIP entrance to all of these clubs and go for dinner, and generally live the very high life in Cape Town, so I would call up the team at Luna Nights and get them to sort out my Cape Town nightlife experience for me. Luna Nights take care of everything from transport, to booking of dinner and VIP entrance at clubs, so you have nothing to worry about other than having the time of your life, which is pretty easy in Cape Town. Click here to get in touch with Luna Nights.

Remember, for all your Southern African Travel requirements, including all accommodation and safari’s, we trust EcoSouth Travel to reveal the very best in Southern Africa including Cape Town. So you’re interested in visiting Cape Town? Click here to contact the team at EcoSouth Travel, our number one choice in Southern African Travel.

So after all of that, one has to wonder why on earth you are not living in Cape Town?! Come on, summer is about to start so get yourself here! Then contact me and we’ll go play nice on Llandudno. Brilliant.

And if you’re interested in buying the book, ‘Lonely Planet’s 1000 Ultimate experiences, then simply click here.

Could life get any better right now in Cape Town? Well it can, and does get better here every day, watch out summer because I’m going to be in and around your face!

Oh THE VILLE baby! The D’Aria Summer Concerts kick off this weekend in Durbanville but I doubt any of you will be too interested because it’s Robbie Wessells and Bok Van Blerk! But next weekend we have something lined up that is more like it, let’s see what’s going down:

Get ready for a summer season filled with the best wines, delicious picnics on the lawn till sunset, as well as only the best SA musicians on stage at a breathtaking new venue: we are proud to announce the D’Aria Summer Concert Series 2009!
The D’Aria Summer Concert Series will bring you 5 outdoor concerts on the huge plush lawn in front of D’Aria’s wine cellar. A brand new stage are specially being built for the concert series. Concert goers can bring their picnic blankets and basketsalong for a tranquil afternoon of wine valley relaxation, while enjoying only the best
wines and food on sale. This will be the biggest summer concert series that the Northern Suburbs have ever seen.
Venue address: D’Aria Wine Estate, Racecourse Road, Durbanville Wine Valley
A variety of top SA musical talent have already been confirmed for the D’Aria Summer Concert Series:
Sunday 22 November: Robbie Wessels and Bok van Blerk – R120
Gates open at 12h00, concert from 16h30-18h30
Friday 27 November: VanFokKingTasties – R100 (Van Coke Kartel,
Fokofpolisiekar, A King and Die Heuwels Fantasties)
Gates open at 18h00, concert from 19h00-23h00

For tickets, click here to buy online at Webtickets.

So the Goodbye Citi tour hits Kaapstad tomorrow at the Sea Point Promenade from 5pm-8pm, allowing you to finish work, finish some drugs and then head through to Sea Point to buy more drugs, and blue rinse for your hair…and  a poodle.

Hey!

So that’s the plan for tomorrow.

Keep up to date with the Goodbye Citi Tour by checking out their website where there are photo updates, and everything you need to know. For that, click here.

And follow Goodbye City on Twitter by clicking here.

And enjoy what Fresh wrote on the car.

Big time!

It’s often difficult to gauge how you fit into society and where you fit in. I’ll be completely honest, my position in society is nothing short of mysterious! From basically just mincing about the city, I still manage to crack invites to everything from Nokia Launch Parties to…hey…yeah other cool things. Somehow, I received an invite to the Villa Lara cocktail vibe last night at Llandudno, one of my favourite places in the world! Now it’s not quite easy to get an invite to something such as this (I’m guessing) because it was quite an elite group chilling there.

Oh ja, and then there was me! Being the class clown of Cape Town, while everyone was ‘talking shop’ and ‘brokering deals’ and ‘cross referencing hedge funds’ and ‘discussing the benefits of negative growth on the first interim as the late surge for the years profits’, I was trying to catch some boobie action. And oh boy did I get a face full of boobie! Check it out, turn your sound up to 200% on Def Leppards ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’ and feel yourself…erotica!

Ja darling!

Then there were some other people from some or other travel agency, I can’t quite remember because I wasn’t taking the photos, nor was I concentrating on a single thing being said. People tend to forget that I’m in the leisure and pleasure industry, under no circumstances does the word ‘work’ or ‘think’ come into play here. It’s a very dangerous thing, trying to talk sense to me because in all likelihood my head will fall off. It’s happened before and we nearly had to have a transplant with Keith Richards. God, that would be a ruthless and savage operation!

Villa Lara was looking awesome last night and they have officially opened summer for me and therefore I will be celebrating by going to Llandudno this weekend, barring any other major commitments which as usual I will have trouble committing to. Never commit to anything in this town…wait until the last minute to see if a better party arises! We all do it. We’re all naughty and sexy like that. I know you’re sexy with that fiery glint in your eyes.

I should write a piece on my favourite villas in Cape Town, in fact I think I will do that. Obviously I’m once again too busy to do this as I continue to struggle to keep everything above water here. When you keep a hand across every single operating industry in Cape Town, it becomes tricky to ascertain what it is that you are, what you do for a living and where your place and importance in society comes in.

I don’t know my place in society.

I don’t know my importance.

I may have none.

But damn, stop inviting me to your high profile events! Once the beast gets rolling it will never stop. Next thing I’ll be commenting on events on television, just not in the cheesy way that our presenters do it. We’ll be better than that. Or will we? Has TV been invented?

Whip some more photos out the bag here of the villa:

Peter Pan

Oh…who’s behind me?

The sushi angel, I had roughly 500 pieces

And I’m not sure how you spent your evening, but I hope you enjoyed it. I trust I’ll see you tonight somewhere. And don’t forget to meet me on the beach this weekend, probably Saturday. Llandudno. I can’t make Sunday because I’m the running partner in a triathlon. It’s only a 5km run which I could probably do blindfolded with a menthol cigarette in my mouth to keep my tits cool.

But I’ll let you know about the beach, keep track of me somewhere on Twitter, or just right here.

Once again a huge thanks to Chris and Charlene of Villa Lara for hosting us at the most beautiful residential address in Cape Town, and for those of you wanting to live the high life like this, simply click here for Villa Lara.

It get’s my thumbs up and a 5 star rating for style, simplicity and friendliness from the team, who are too awesome for words.

Thanks guys

Hugs and kisses! X

Look it’s been a few days since I posted but not to worry, I didn’t get meth burns in my cheeks and therefore didn’t find myself lying face down in a gutter somewhere as someones pleasure slave.

I was taking some time out from the city because trust me…it gets to you! It freaks you out a bit. So what you need is some time where you literally do nothing and think nothing and have nothing and want nothing. So that’s what we did! We cruised up to Misverstand as part of the Bourne2Ride Crew for a weekend of nothingness which was fantastic. Just lazing about, chilling, that’s what it’s all about. A few photos:

Getting the girls wet

Andrew Bourne doing the “Triple Semi Retarded” Actually I have no idea what that one is called

NY balling!

Days spent like this

So hopefully that put a bit of inspiration back in me because I have been feeling a little lost as what to write lately. It’s fine, we’re getting there. We all need some time out! Even superheroes and tik addicts need some stillness!

A HUGE thanks to Andrew Bourne from Bourne2Ride for having us in and around his house and in and around his boat, and thanks to everyone who went up and chilled hard with us.

If you’re interested in learning to wakeboard with the pro’s, Andrew runs the successful Bourne2Ride wakeboard camps in Misverstand. Click here to get in touch, and live like we do.

Alpha Bravo Charlie check it, requesting a fly by.

Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.

Look, you better get there seriously early for this one!

Doors open at 8pm, No u/18 ladies and No u/20 guys.

Touch it! Or do like Michael Jackson and touch your tits while you touch yourself in naughty places! (I’m trying to organise a photo of that right now…playing the DVD)

Today has been a pretty average day for me, the weather wasn’t ideal so my bronze God Greek Achilles tanning session was put off probably until next week when the sun manages to put out. Seeing as though there is no beach action though, this leaves me with virtually nothing to base my life around, but stalking YOU on Facebook. So I’m cruising along, and I have nearly gone through every single one of this chicks photos, downloading them individually onto my ice cold hard drive, and suddenly I notice an advert. As though I’m desperate. Ha ha!

The only reason I stalk through Facebook is because I’m testing hard drives for Western Digital (I’m a hard drive tester), and they want to know how many Facebook photos can safely be held on their hard drives. They need this to put on the boxes. They could take the size of one photo and work it out from there, but they wanted to do some in the field testing. You see sometimes if a girl is hot enough, the hard drive burns and melts down, and so they want me to test it on some of the hottest people on Facebook. Hence my relative quietness on the blog post side, I’ve been downloading photos for a few weeks now.

It’s no big deal really and if you are female there is ABSOLUTELY no…need…to…worry? It’s purely sexual work related. And if your photos come up on some midget dating website there is a 50/50 chance that it wasn’t me. That’s a pretty good chance of not being me then!

I just um…I just need to…I um…I must be off now! I have some paper work to attend to.

(What’s that you ask? Oh yes! Yes I do have writers block. It’s that time of the year where I slowly start shutting down, give me some beach action and some time at the river this weekend and I’ll be back on top form no doubt)

“An awe inspiring live motor stage show, where the star cast is a line up of the world`s hottest prestige, performance cars. The philosophy behind MPH is simple, a collection of the world`s most desirable cars is brought together, beautifully displayed and brought to life, live in the motoring theatre. It`s fast, sexy, loud and totally unique.”

NOTE: Click here to buy your tickets for Top Gear live in South Africa.

I’ll be honest, I’m a HUGE fan of the open road. I could quite easily spend the rest of my life just driving, there really is nothing quite like it. And this makes a lot of us envious of the lifestyles of James Dean and Steve McQueen.

There is actually something built into guys where they just want to drive and not think about anything, let the road eat up the worries, see the countryside and be in control of the ride. Modern day air and speed rail travel epitomizes the world we live in and all that is wrong with it, a world of instant gratification. We want to be at the destination as quick as possible, but isn’t it really about the journey?

If we speed through everything like this don’t we miss out on life? All this fast stuff — fast food, fast travel, fast work — just makes us speed up towards the end of our lives. Which is why many people find themselves at the end of their lives thinking “Where did it go?” And this is why we should always take things slowly and enjoy the ride, and really slow things down to a gentle roar.

Take in the scenery, not be so serious and just chill. Well that’s the life I want everyone to live!

That got a little bit off the topic but it was car related. What I wanted to tell you is that the Top Gear Live Show is coming to South Africa. It will be in Cape Town and Joburg (The other places are not important)

Top Gear Live takes place in Cape Town from the 28th of January until the 31st of January 2010 and in Joburg from the 4th of February until the 7th of February 2010.

Tickets will no doubt be selling at a rapid rate and you’d best get your as soon as you can, as the Friday show at Grandwest at 8:30pm is already sold out.

I mean how can you not go? Jezza is in it!

Jezza — Not stressed

And chicks dig Jezza.

Click here to book your tickets.

Image Via

So you may have been following a little bit of boxing and you’ll know that David Haye beat Nikolai Valuev over the weekend (HERE). While beating a man who resembles a beast is one thing, it’s another to choose your own ring girls. This from Dailymail:

Personally auditions the so-called ring-card girls who announce the rounds before fights ‘because earlier in my career the promoters would organise these girls and you’d be sitting on your stool between rounds and you’d look up and see a complete and utter minger walking round the ring.

‘It was actually a distraction. You’d be thinking: “Why is she in the ring?” So now I make sure all my ring-card girls are up to scratch.’

He and his wife Natasha have an 18-month-old son called Cassius.

Ha ha ha! It’s good to see at least one person who doesn’t care about what others think, I love it! You know, just throwing the word mingers out and about, no big deal.

And then to have the double whammy here of calling your son Cassius. Crisis Ali!

I like this guy, he’s cool.

I must actually get into the books I’m currently reading, you will lose your marbles! I’m deeper than you think…

Anyway the books that I will most likely order this week are the following (Force Of Nature and Born To Run are best ordered online at the moment. Exclusive Books at V&A Waterfront have two copies of Born To Run, but they are being kept aside for other people, and they don’t have Force Of Nature)

Let’s see what these books are about:

Force Of Nature by Laird Hamilton

With a superhero’s physique, a beautiful athlete/model wife, and the ocean as his office, Laird Hamilton’s charmed lifestyle is enviable. Now, for the first time, he shares his secrets for living a perfectly balanced life. Force of Nature opens a window onto the unique physical regimens, mental strategies, and spiritual beliefs that has allowed Hamilton to do what he loves, while being surrounded by family and radiating peak health and fitness.

Hamilton shares his life-enhancing approach to constantly challenging oneself to improve in three distinct areas: -body–Hamilton’s comprehensive guide for fitness, nutrition, injury prevention, and rehabilitation also includes his first-ever surf tutorial with specific how-to information about his sport -mind–in this revealing look at the inner life of a world-class athlete, Hamilton talks about conquering fear, adversity, and negativity while embracing the promise of change that each new day holds-soul–from finding one’s passion to traveling a less-trodden path, Hamilton invites readers to look inward, forging their own set of core spiritual beliefs that will literally determine the course of their lives.

To elite athletes, blockbuster celebrities, and the rest of us, Laird Hamilton has proven to be the authority on performance and living as fully as possible. Now he shares his recipe for living in this highly anticipated book.

Click here to buy online.

Born To Run

Full of incredible characters, amazing athletic achievements, cutting-edge science, and, most of all, pure inspiration, Born to Run is an epic adventure that began with one simple question: Why does my foot hurt? In search of an answer, Christopher McDougall sets off to find a tribe of the world’s greatest distance runners and learn their secrets, and in the process shows us that everything we thought we knew about running is wrong.

Isolated by the most savage terrain in North America, the reclusive Tarahumara Indians of Mexico’s deadly Copper Canyons are custodians of a lost art. For centuries they have practiced techniques that allow them to run hundreds of miles without rest and chase down anything from a deer to an Olympic marathoner while enjoying every mile of it. Their superhuman talent is matched by uncanny health and serenity, leaving the Tarahumara immune to the diseases and strife that plague modern existence. With the help of Caballo Blanco, a mysterious loner who lives among the tribe, the author was able not only to uncover the secrets of the Tarahumara but also to find his own inner ultra-athlete, as he trained for the challenge of a lifetime: a fifty-mile race through the heart of Tarahumara country pitting the tribe against an odd band of Americans, including a star ultramarathoner, a beautiful young surfer, and a barefoot wonder.

With a sharp wit and wild exuberance, McDougall takes us from the high-tech science labs at Harvard to the sun-baked valleys and freezing peaks across North America, where ever-growing numbers of ultrarunners are pushing their bodies to the limit, and, finally, to the climactic race in the Copper Canyons. Born to Run is thatrare book that will not only engage your mind but inspire your body when you realize that the secret to happiness is right at your feet, and that you, indeed all of us, were born to run.

Click here to buy online

Oh and there is also this:

Peter Pan

It was Friday night. Mr and Mrs Darling were dining out. Nana had been tied up in the backyard. The poor dog was barking, for she could smell danger. And she was right – this was the night that Peter Pan would take the Darling children on the most breath-taking adventure of their lives, to a place called Neverland, a strange country where the lost boys live and never grow up, a land with mermaids, fairies and pirates – and of course the terrible, evil, Captain Hook. Peter Pan is undoubtedly one of the most famous and best-loved stories for children, an unforgettable, magical fantasy which has been enjoyed by generations.

Click here to buy online.

Because you know, I’m just really a child! We all are…aren’t we?

So if you wanted to know what I’m going to be reading soon (As you do), then there we go! My pleasure. But seriously, I cannot wait for Born To Run, it sounds quite epic.

To those of you who have tried dry humping your screen lately when seeing any of the Twilight crew (I broke my screen), then this is for you.

We’ll end it off with Taylor Lautner who is currently contributing to a panty-less epidemic worldwide as women continue to throw their panties, and bras, at him.

And here he is kissing my current girlfriend, Taylor Swift.

Awesome.

Click here to book your tickets to the New Moon Premier in Cape Town. I didn’t check if tickets were sold out actually…woopsie daisies!

Because if you are, you’re in luck!

What’s a fluffer, you may ask? Don’t ask me I wouldn’t know anything about the industry! So Wikipedia will let you know:

A fluffer is a hired member of the crew of a pornographic movie whose role on the set is to sexually arouse the male participants prior to the filming of scenes requiring erections.

A fluffer also has the duty of keeping adult film stars “cleaned up” in between takes or during photo shoot set-ups, so that the actors or models do not have to move from their positions. These duties are considered part of the makeup department. After setting up the desired angle, the director asks the actors to hold position and calls for the fluffer to “fluff” the actors for the shot.

Pretty tricky to describe your day at work then to the husband/wife!

“It had it’s ups and downs”

“Jeez it was such a wet day today hey honey?”

“Yeah the rain was bucketing down”

“Um…”

“Hard day at work?”

“Yip”

“Babe what’s that in your…you…you don’t drink vanilla milkshakes do you” (Leans in, wipes it off, tastes it ) “You get a milkshake at Spur?”

“Well it was actually a melkskommel from Das Spur”

Anyway this was found on the jobs section of Gumtree Cape Town. More specifically under “Gardening > Landscaping” Absolutely brilliant! So you know, if you’re looking at earning R1000 per day.

Hang on a moment, R1000 a day during a recession? That’s damn good if you ask me! And for something…that you’re…going to be doing anyway…during your life? (Say that as you remove your sunglasses…Horatio style…) You may as well get paid!

Although to those deeply entrenched in the Cape Town lifestyle, they would have preferred if that ad read “Brittany Needed”

BOOM! That did just happen. And there is virtually nothing you can do about it.

Just want to fluff yourself? No problem!

(Shot Steve)

I’ve just seen this on Cape Town Alive, and it looks awesome. Check it out:

About

The opportunity to indulge in the finer things that life has to offer, more frequently with Entertainment 7 days a week – Endless amounts of unforgettable events – A new generation of stylized sophistication – premium club hopping as you like – All year round combined with the unlimited benefits as a member of Clubbers Experience.

Clubbers Experience is the first ever nightlife, lifestyle, music and entertainment network globally bringing you the experience of over 800 events a year. Including the unlimited benefits of the ideal night out, Clubbers Experience grants you entry into an excess of 24 of Cape Town’s most premium nightclubs, street parties, major productions, the worlds most influential DJ’s and a complete innovative entertainment lifestyle package designed for young professionals.
Participating Venues!

ATLANTIC SEABOARD / CBD

• Karma
• FTV
• Chevelle
• Vertigo
• Chrome
• House of Rasputin
• Hemisphere
• Mercury
• Butterfly Studios
• The Assembly
• Deluxe
• Liquid
• Ivy League
• Vudu lounge

SOUTHERN SUBURBS

• Gandalfs
• Barmooda
• Club 91
• Strata Lounge
• Atmospheer

NORTHERN SUBURBS

• Kudeta
• Bunker9
• Vaca Matta
• Babbaloos
• Springboks

The Members!

• Monthly CE Newsletter.
• Monthly CE designer collectors nightclub access card.
• 24 hour customer service.
• MMS interactive service.
• Convenience and efficiency.
• CE V.I.P in club photography service.
• The opportunity of frequenting all of Cape Town’s hottest nightclubs without having to pay additional entrance fees.
• No queuing at nightclubs for CE members
• And most importantly, superior value to an amount in excess of R3 750.00 monthly, for only R89.00/month and for what you get, makes the thought of not joining unthinkable.

Awesome!

Click here to read more and to become a member.

I was surprised to find that this was not from the Sea Point Post Office (I assume they have one)

Basically, if you’re an early bird (The early bird catches the worm! Or just herpes) you save R2.

WOW! That’s awesome! I really think I’ll go out of my way to pay early so I can save the equivalent of half a small packet of sweets. I very excite!

Not.