I’ve really been meaning to try this Woolworths Earth Friendly Range since it was launched a few months ago but for some or other reason I never got around to it.

So on Friday after doing my rounds (Lunch with Madiba, tea with the Dalai Lama and some random charity work, and I also saved a baby from getting hit by a bus) I nipped into Woolworths and while my initial intention was only to perve a few MILFS, I got a little sidetracked. You see I had been running and was quite sweaty, I was basically pitting at the Fruit and Veg aisle. That’s veg with an “e” and not an “a” Easily confused.

Now my body has been compared to Achilles, and generally I do throw out a Greek God type vibe especially in summer when I’m more bronze that Tom Jones. And because I’m what they (Not me) call a public figure (Ha ha! Have you ever?!) it is essential that I keep my body in perfect shape, for you all!

So that when you see me in real life,  you are as awe struck as what you are when you read my writing. So other than my trail running which keeps me fit so I can dance circles around Justin Timberlake, I also like to use some good skincare products. I have my ranges that I stick to, but as they say diversity is the mother of all bitches.

Or something to that effect.

Well I was in Woolworths, checking out some mommy from between the loaves of bread (Around 30 inches long — the bread. What, do you think that is all there is to me?) when I realised that I was Fritzeling from beneath my arm pits. I was sweating like a hooker OD’ing on E, it was quite bad. This is normal though after a trail run, or if you’re a stalker about to get caught in the playground.

I then realised that I had run out of my old shower gel and the health store was closed so I would need to buy something at Woolworths. My body is only used to the finest quality ingredients and my hands have been known to refuse to even put inferior products onto my statuesque like body. It’s that bad. But such is my quest for a better life for us all!

I popped a couple of items in the basket and bang, jumped into the VR3 and headed home. Along the way I will admit to having hit a kid as well as a hooker. It was a vicious ride I tell you! I’m not sure why the kid was getting a piggy back on the hooker, I can only assume that he was trying to get a crack lolly. But enough about me living in Mitchells Plein. Moving on…

I got back home in my usual fit of depression, as one does. We all do, don’t we? Am I the only one taking crazy pills to balance myself? Anyway I stripped naked way before I could make it into the house, leaving Auntie Gertrude next door very aroused. I also find it weird that Uncle Bert next door was also aroused.

I lathered myself up with the Woolworths Earth Friendly Body Wash and it’s simply divine! It soaps up good which is great when you’re in prison but even better when you’re not, because there is never the deathly thrill of surprise sex.

Then again there is also very little chance of you going for a trail run, or shopping at Woolworths for their Earth Friendly Range if you’re a prisoner. The hand wash is also simply a treat so now you can have clean hands even though you have a dirty mind. It’s got tea tree oil which is anti-bacterial or something, I wasn’t quite reading because I had my hand in my pants. And for good reason too!

I was powdering my kugelsak!

No I’m joking babes.

I bought it for my nappy rash. I still wet myself at night, but it’s not really a problem. I mean, I shower in the morning so that’s fine isn’t it? And the only reason I wet myself is because I still get nightmares about the boogie man, which is a common concern amongst grown men.

No but really I’m joking about all this, I bought the baby powder for Carlos.

My firstborn child.

I love you Carlos.

Wow that was a terrible article and you have learnt absolutely nothing about the Woolworths Earth Friendly Range, but it has something to do with biodegradable ingredients, not tested on animals, no petrochemicals, no artificial colours, no animal ingredients and stuff like that. Not that you care, but that’s what I’m throwing down. Can you handle me hot stuff?

xxx

I love spending my time in the car with the music pumping and nothing but the open road ahead of me. Unfortunately in a city you are constantly surrounded by lunatics. Like this woman who parked, but I forgive her because she was 173 years old, which is quite old. She probably takes ‘roids:

And then this guy:

Answer? No, I’m not ready.

Or should I say, Jesus is not ready.

I was out hammering a run on Sunday morning in Tokai with G-Bizzle, just going along the trail, catching some outdoors vibes and Tokai really is a beautiful place to run. The road kills me! Because it’s so boring. The trail is nice and shaded and you come along awesome photo opportunities. Such as:

Check my black yeti arm!

This is basically my lifeblood, this sort of thing. I have absolutely no desire to write long things anymore, my life and SLXS are going to be presented in snippets for you. Little photos of how I see things.

Or maybe I have writers block.

On a completely unrelated note is anyone keen on sponsoring me a netbook? Like that SICK Acer Aspire One D250? If you do that, I can’t offer you anything in return but my love. And that is all you need!

You’ll basically ooze teenage desire after giving me a gift, such is the power of gifting The Sean.

Have you seen the wind pump on your way to Stellenbosch? The one that pumps way too much! Someone honestly needs to turn that bad boy off.

Yeah so I’ll only catch you tomorrow, I really have no desire to write today, to be completely honest! You know the whole writers block thing? Big time.

That’s right you heard me, well sort of. Tonight is the first night of the South African Powerball Lottery which I will be winning  (Obviously), and to kick the celebrations off like a dead lepers head, we’ll just give away a Volkswagen Scirocco as a sort of little prize. Then we’ll get into the real stuff.

Anyway I have no idea how the Powerball works but you can click here to read about it. Enter because tonight is the first draw and it’s chilling at R30 million. Now we all know the SA lottery is a scam and all the profits get eaten by some greedy bastards, but look, you wear Gap and Nike so you essentially support slave labour anyway. So this is the least of your worries!

Just a note for those wanting to keep up with The Porsche Parade (I’ll be at Killarney tomorrow — Ladies, I’ll be smelling of clutch, handbrake and everything manly — touch me) you can follow them on Twitter.

Simply click here to find the Porsche Parade Twitter page.

Ryan Sandes in Heat Magazine — Chicks losing their minds

We’ve spoken about Ryan Sandes here at SLXS before, back in August when he won the Hansa Hout Bay Challenge. We mentioned him again last Thursday the 15th of October, with a piece entitled “Hout Bay’s Ryan Sandes Completely Owning The Amazon Jungle Marathon”

Well he did own it! He won in a time of 26 hours and 33 minutes, taking the course record for the fastest time since the race began. By now you will have followed the links on SLXS to Ryan’s website, but just again, well done to Ryan for these particularly INSANE achievements!

Click here for RyanSandes.com

While I take these supplements all year round, it is especially important when going out into the harsh African sun to put the right nutrients into your body to effectively help at protecting you from the sun. Naturally a good sunscreen is the number one factor in combating sun damage, but a good supplement regime can also keep your skin in awesome condition, prolong that bronze God/Goddess tan of yours and keep you healthier.

Obviously any illness and disease is caused by oxidants in your body, sort of like rust. So what you need is powerful anti oxidants to protect your cells from damage. This is important in the sun, where loads of free radicals can cause damage to your skin, and a decent supplement routine can really help protect you.

Here are three supplements I’d recommend (In addition to a SPF 30 cream):

Procydin

This is a grape seed extract and is extremely powerful, it is a potent ant-oxidant that assists in keeping the body healthy and protecting it from environmental factors and damage. At around R100 per container it’s well priced and offers you excellent protection from free radical damage. This from the Procydin product page:

Generally known antioxidant nutrients are vitamins A, C and E, beta-carotene, and the minerals selenium, zinc, copper and manganese. A lesser-known but much more powerful antioxidant is the proanthocyanidin complex.

Proanthocyanidins, which belong to the bioflavonoid family, are found in fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, grains and in beverages such as tea and wine. However, the richest sources appear in pine bark and grape-seed extract, the main ingredient of PROCYDIN.

The proanthocyanidin complex is one of the most powerful antioxidants available today, and can play a significant role in strengthening the immune system and preventing a range of chronic diseases, including cancer. Its power is attributed to it being a mixture of several types of antioxidants that function effectively in different regions of the body.

The role of antioxidants is to protect cells and tissues from free radical damage, also called oxidative stress. Free radicals are toxic molecules produced by the body during metabolism such as eating and breathing, and can be described as the body’s own “exhaust fumes”. But they also penetrate us from outside, mostly via the skin, lungs or the intestinal tract, from sources such as air pollution, insecticides, cigarette smoke and substances that we consume.
Free-radical damage is a common factor in over a hundred autoimmune diseases such as arthritis, heart diseases, cancer, asthma, high blood pressure, stress, depression, high cholesterol and hardening of the artery walls, to mention a few.

So that’s a good one to take, I take it for most of the year.

Vitamin C

Vitamin C is used in the synthesis of collagen and is also a powerful anti-oxidant, so important when you’re in the sun. While most will reccommend around 500mg per day, I take around 3-4 grams of Vitamin C per day. It is a very safe Vitamin to take and if you read Patrick Holford’s books you will know the importance of taking at least 2 grams a day. But shoot for 3-4 grams and you’ll basically be indestructible. Don’t buy the brand name Vitamin C, just ask your pharmacist for Ascorbic Acid. For around R30 you can get 100 x 500mg tablets.

An Essential Oil Supplement

I rotate these, so one day I’ll be taking a salmon oil supplement, another day I’ll be getting olive oil in my diet and so on and so forth. Two great fish oil supplements to take are Metagenics EPA/DHA 720 as well as ReVite Omega 3.

Follow the guidelines on the packages and you’re all good. Essential oils are so important for overall health and so many people hardly get any decent oils in their diets. It’s all sugar, bread, milk and when you look at it, they’re not getting nearly enough essential oils. Essential oils are excellent for your skin and in managing skin conditions, keeping the skin moist and supple, keeping you looking young and essential oils are sometimes seriously lacking in those suffering from depression and can help with brain functioning. An all round winner!

So those are three supplements that I recommend  for this summer, speak to your pharmacist and see which particular one he/she recommends but those are all my personal choices.

And that is why I look so damn hot Hansel!

Oh I found a little afternoon delight for you on We Are Awesome:

Absolutely no problem! No need to award me the Nobel Peace Prize for that.

Via

Sorry for the slowness at SLXS but I have some disturbing news. I am on an IV drip for Shattered Nerves Syndrome caused by awesome. And not by my own lifestyle, but by those of some other people. There is a website called We Are Awesome and they have all sorts of stuff, but importantly they have photos of people just seen on the street and in clubs and what they’re wearing. From what I know it’s all Cape Town and to be completely honest my brain is fried (Not from acid) from the ridiculous people in the photos. I gather that they are taking the piss by calling the site “We Are Awesome” and they actually named the site We Are Awesome because of this guy, sort of like an in joke type thing. It’s a very sick website, I enjoy it. I don’t quite enjoy the following individual, but each to their own. Please enjoy one of the most intriguing and confusing individuals of YOUR life:

Via

Ja, like cool, just chilling babes! I just…um…I just.

I just…I just…I just sometimes don’t know anymore.

What’s the point of living?

(Thanks Gabz)