I must have written this a while ago, then forgotten about it. But I just found it on the Powerbook G4, and thought maybe you recognise some of the signs of a recession:

You use your small lottery winning to go gamble at the casino, and you use your winnings at the casino to buy more lottery tickets

You cannot for the life of you pay your bills, and you tell this to your friends over a joint and a bottle of scotch.

You start going through your Facebook friends, wondering which ones you’ve blown off in the past because they were too average looking. You’re now in contact with them again because they or their parents are wealthy (WHAT? Don’t look at me like I’m guilty!)

You start thinking about marriage, and even researching it. If I marry someone rich, how can I do it without them signing a pre-nuptial agreement and what am I entitled to?

You start Googling family trees, wondering if there is a Lord somewhere or other related to you and on his deathbed and you may just be in line to inherit.

Getting caught for drunk driving now happens in the afternoon.

All your mirrors have been taken off the wall, and all your banknotes are rolled.

You start seriously considering trying to hook up with a celebrity, and even making a sex tape.

You start praying again. Come on, admit it!

You give beggars R20 at a time, even though you’re broke. Karma surely has to work?

Even caffeine highs are seeming unaffordable as Nescafe gets replaced by Ricoffy.

Everyone around you tries to make you feel better, saying “It could be worse. You could be hit by a bus tomorrow”

You start believing in Windows again…the Mac can be sold.

There are loads more, but let’s get off this talk of a recession! It’s 3pm anyway, so what on earth are you still doing at a computer? Especially if you’re at a work computer.