I received a call from Andy B the other day (Sunday) mentioning something or other relating to Virgin Active in Constantia, the park and some water.

I thought the guys were definitely up to some devious activities! Then I realised it wasn’t my crack dealer calling…and…ooooooh shiny!

*Picks up phone*

“Hey mom!”

“Sean what are you doing?”

“Coke off a dead hooker…”

“Sean you know you’re not allowed sugar, it makes you crazy. And I don’t want you playing rugby, it’s dangerous”

“Ok mom my nose is bleeding, I really have to go. And my pants are off”

“Ok bye”

I saddled up and made my way through to the park opposite Virgin Active in Constantia, you know the park. What has happened is the rains have made a little pond in one of the ditches, or maybe it’s there all year, I’m not sure.

I actually made the name “Urban Wake” up, but it’s a sport that is run by a select few urban extremists led by the Bourne2Ride team who reside in Cape Town, and make every effort to turn the city into their sporting playground. It’s a simple concept, with the riders strapping themselves into wakeboards and being pulled across any expanse of water — ponds, pools and even across the surf at the beach by high speed winches.

When you can’t make it out of town to Misverstand and need to get your sporting fix, wake missions in the city are the only way to go. The guys really do push it sometimes, but within limits. Sundays wake mission was led by Andy B doing an assortment of tricks like backflips or whatever they call them (Discombobulator? Semi retarded?)  Operating in water of sometimes only knee depth, it’s a performance show made possible by Andy’s sliders and kickers that he has hand built for the occassion.

Andy B!

We were joined on the day by Nicole and THE Mike, and the level of smut talk can only be compared to some sort of show involving a horse and a…yeah. These wake sessions are quite a laugh, because I just walk around with a limp and try pick chicks up.

“Ja, so, you know I tore a ligament at the European wakeboard champs in May”

“Really? What ligament?”

“Um it’s not too important”

“Where were they held exactly?”

“Cough cough cough do you want to hook up with me?”

“You’re lying aren’t you?”

“No my angel let’s just go back to my place and I’ll tell you”

“You’re gross”

“So…that’s…a yes?”

“Get away from me”

“Come on just do it! For the feeling! I’m Sean Lloyd!”

For anyone interested in wakeskating and wakeboarding training camps and lessons in and around Cape Town, click HERE to get in contact with the Bourne2Ride team.

All wakeboarding related equipment including Jet Pilot Vests, Liquid Force bindings, wakeboards and accessories as well as Malibu wakeboard boats are available through Bourne2Ride.

It’s ALL happening!

Sean Lloyd

Editor