Oh my plutz my angel!

I’m strolling through The Wellness Warehouse yesterday when out the corner of my very sexy and devilish eye, I catch this absolute MILF. I did a barrell roll through the chickpea section in order for her to notice me and how athletic I am. And dangerous too. So she didn’t see me, but I did stumble upon the most gorgeous section of YOUR life.

It’s the essential oil section where you can buy the most awesome range of essential oils to put into one of those burner thingies. It looks like this:

I’ll admit, the burners at Wellness Warehouse were a bit kak, so I bought this one at The Good Stuff health store downstairs for R85.

Seduce me…seduce you…

Now what you do is fill the bowl with water, put 4 or 5 drops of oil into it and…BANG! You’re rolling in the most awesome scent. It’s great for just chilling out and possibly smoking a blunt, I don’t know. You’ve never felt more in touch with nature than when you have a fat J perched on the lips and the aroma of essential oils pumping through the room.

You know…theoretically.

What you need to do though when buying the essential oils, is check the price of them. Wellness Warehouse have done a double sneaky trick-you-back-David-Copperfield move and put a sign up saying essential oils “From R24″ Well I tell you what, there wasn’t a single one for R24 that I could find! They’re all 11ml or 12ml bottles and cost quite a lot of cash. The majority were going for R106 from the Soil range, but mine cost R65 from the Aromatic Apothecary range so do look out for them.

J in a bottle

Alternatively, Faithful to Nature have a massive range of Soil essential oils to purchase online all in the R20-R30 region.

A bottle lasts a while, as only 4 or 5 drops are needed at a time. I guess it’s sort of a new way of living minimalistically…a few lines of coke, couple tabs of e, few drops of oil, a joint and some potatoes to eat.

Eco friendly here you come!

No jokes, don’t do that Russell Brand…

The great thing about essential oils is that you can, and will, pull them off as a guy. There is nothing wrong with being in touch with your feminine side and the best thing of all is chicks will see your more sensitive, caring side. They’ll feel relaxed in your company. Their heads will be clear of stress (Until they hit the headboard…)

Hey? No you’re being silly! Silly hoo! No come on Kirsten…stop it, I have to work!

Kirsty wirsty woo!

Click HERE to buy essential oils online, and have them delivered to your door. Victory!

Sean Lloyd

Editor