Whether or not I find myself connected to Lloyd’s of London is besides the point in this case, but you will find Lloyd having a rich heritage, and you will be pleased to know along the line we did supply cocaine to the masses!

Here is an old tin of my toothache drops (Thanks Skateboard J), which would warrant people having toothache everyday!

It’s funny that in the old days drugs were so readily available which may or may not have been one of the many reasons that there were so many great thinkers and creative people back in the day.

Those people would have done well with their cocaine habits to dabble in advertising, or any other creative pursuit.

As you can see here by the cocaine drops, it paints the perfect picture of bliss. Kids building something, no doubt because they are happy and their numbs are gum!

I think there is a case for adding cocaine into kids diets in the modern age. Maybe they’ll eat less and we’ll cure obesity. Maybe they will be more creative. Maybe we’ll have a more exciting world.

Oddly enough I’m listening to Clapton’s “Cocaine” as we speak/type/play/touch ourselves.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Oh my word you girls are going to absolutely plutz when you read this! During your overseas trips (You saucy little devil you!) you no doubt came across the Burt’s Bees products, and totally fell in love with them (The lip balm is simply gorgeous!) Then you came back home and thought “Hang on a tick (TIK), where is Burty woo in South Africa?”

Well old Burty boy was not in South Africa, and then Woolworths spotted a money making opportunity and decided to import Burt’s Bees into South Africa and into your life.

Those of you like me, who have an intricate knowledge of the natural beauty industry (Jokes okes, what time does the game start?) will obviously know Burt’s Bees. I mean they are awesome. Those of you not in the know should feel like idiots, because every cool city kid knows Burt’s Bees! For the complete and utter plebbs of society, let’s take a look at the history of Burt’s Bees (Is it wrong that I’m excited about this little history lesson we’re about to take?)

Let’s have a look over the history of Burt’s Bees, which is now available in Cape Town, and South Africa:

How it all began in 1984 (The year before thine birth)

In 1984 in Maine, Roxanne Quimby and Burt Shavits teamed up selling candles made from the beeswax created as a by product of Burt’s honey business. At the first craft market, they sod $200 worth, and by the end of the first year sales had climbed to $20000. Their fine attention to detail was an integral part of their success. For instance, Roxanne noticed that women always turned a candle over to look at the bottom before purchasing it. Roxanne then knew that ensuring that each candle was cut to a fine finish, especially on the bottom, would signal to consumers that the candles were of the ultimate quality.

1989

Word about the candles started spreading and reached New York, where in 1989 the Zona boutique ordered hundreds of candles, and production was expanded. Forty employees were hired and a shop was set up in an abandoned bowling alley. Around this time, Roxanne happened upon a 19th century book of homemade personal care recipes and that’s when Burts Bee’s really began.

1991

In 1991, a year after they incorporated, half a million candles were being produced every year, as well as natural soaps and perfume cooked up on gas stoves. That’s when lip balm was added to the line, and to this day is the best selling product in the Burt’s Bees line.

1993

As the product line expanded and more orders came in, the company needed new premises. North Carolina was chosen because it was business and community friendly. At this time, the decision was also made to focus the entire product line on personal care.

1994

Burt’s Bees set up shop in an 18000 square foot former garment factory in Creedmoor in 1994, and the first retail store was opened in 1995 in nearby Chapel Hill. At this time, Burt’s Bees had 50 products, some of which were being distributed as far away as Japan.

1998

Annual sales had reached $8 million by this time and more than 100 items were available in the product line which were being sold in over 4000 outlets. In 1998, the travel sized natural skin care and hair care products became instant best sellers. In 1999, the first body lotions using natural milk and sugar enzymes were introduced, as well as a line of bath products made with sea ingredients.

1999

Product lines and profits had now grown and Burt’s Bees had relocated to a 105,000 square foot site in Durham and soon expanded that to 136,000 square feet.In 2002 and 2003, the first toothpaste and shampoo range was launched, as well as the Baby Bee product line.

2007

These days, Burt’s Bees are the leading manufacturer of earth friendly natural personal care products, with sales topping $250 million. Over 150 products are manufactured in categories such as face care, body care, hair care, lip care, men’s grooming, baby care and outdoor remedies.

Burt’s Bees remain committed to the environment with recycled and recyclable packaging and nature safe manufacturing processes…

I’ll end it there, but if you’d like to read up more on Burt’s Bees, and their fantastic products (Girls, I know you’re DYING to see them!) then simply visit the Burt’s Bees website.

And click HERE for some interesting facts via WickedPedia

Let’s have a look at some of the products in the range which you will find adorable, and usable! Like me…I’m adorable, and you can use me. Abuse me. Thrill me babes.

Wash your toned body

Moisturise your very toned body

And we cannot forget your lips my angel (Facial)

*silence*

Note the lip balm contains lanolin (Lanolin? Like sheeps wool!)

I trust you feel more informed right now, and you feel closer to me than ever for delivering this information, right through your eyes and into your very sexual and devious mind.

It’s the least I could do in this relationship.

Oh and also, the reason I found out about Burt’s Bees is because I have had a fascination with the brand and it’s history (Read that Wikipedia link) for quite some time now, and then I was following this MILF through Woolworths at the V&A Waterfront on Sunday afternoon by myself when out the corner of my tear filled eyes, I spotted Burt’s Bees.

And so this piece was born, just as my first child will soon be born with Gisele Bundchen once she divorces that dude who does exercise or something for a living.

That is of course unless you and me have kids before that. Either way, I’m cool with it.

So to find Burt’s Bees products in Cape Town, and to find Burt’s Bees products in South Africa, then simply head down to Woolworths.

Let your fingers do the walking in the yellow…wait, that’s not Woolworths tag line.

*Oooooh look! Shiny!*

– Mind wonders off to play with the unicorn –

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I was strolling through Cavendish about a week ago when I saw a t-shirt that said “Thank God I’m a VIP” and I nearly bought it. Then I thought “Hang on a cocaine model, let’s not downplay our position in society now”

You don’t want people thinking you’re rolling VIP like a plebb. You want to roll platinum baby!

So I nipped down to Caprice on Friday night to grab some free food and drinks, mingle, throw a vibe then duck before the crowds started swarming. I also grabbed my platinum package for Armin van Buuren. Naturally, it’s all the best because you know, if I were rolling regular tickets, SLXS would lose all credibility as AWESOME.

So my package includes a designated parking area, two platinum tickets and two Shox speaker sets (SICK!) This is what the ticket says:

This package contains everything you need for a rocking Platinum level night out with Urban Wave and Godskitchen as World Number 1 DJ Armin Van Buuren hits the decks.

Parking

An accredited parking area has been arranged for you. Simply look out for the Accredited Parking signage at the venue and display the Urban Wave parking pass in your vehicle. Please remember to take this along as vehicles without the parking pass will not be allowed access to this area (Plebbs)

Registration and reserved area

Platinum ticket holders need to head to the Urban Wave Platinum Registration area at the event where you can registe and be directed to the Platinum area that has been reserved for you (I know…)

The Urban Wave Platinum area offers the best vantage point, comfort and easiest access to bars and facilities.

Enjoy the show!

You know what? I will!

All that must have cost me quite a bit. Or not, seeing as though it’s all free.

It’s no big deal though…I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about it. It’s only the best tickets to the Worlds Number 1 DJ. It’s not as excitig as you think. Ok…yeah…I’ll just end this right now.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I don’t think we need more reason to compel you into buying your dream other than this story of a South Dakota cowboy who bought a lottery ticket, and won the 9th biggest jackpot in Powerball history. Neal Wanless has decided to take a lump sum payout, which comes in at $88.5 million.

Not bad going at 23 years old.

Neal — Not at work today. You? Could also not be at work today.

Now there will be people sitting reading this saying “Why does this never happen to me?”

Well, do you have a ticket? That will be a good start! Neal Wanless never won the $232 million Powerball lottery by not buying a lottery ticket. He bought the ticket, now he’ll never work again and he’ll live the dream. I think that’s what everyone wants, especially if you find yourself behind your desk right now, hating work and especially that damn boss who has just gone on a nice holiday to Spain.

It’s a well known fact that you attract what you’re thinking about, so right now you’re thinking of winning the Powerball lottery, and you’re going to need to buy that ticket. You can buy it safely, securely and without moving from your desk right now. Look at Neal, he’s 23. He’s chilling!

Funnily enough he bought the ticket in a town called Winner, hectic! He only came forward to claim his prize a month after the numbers were announced, saying:

“I want to thank the Lord for giving me this opportunity and blessing me with this great fortune”

So go ahead, you’ve got nothing to lose. Unless of course those sums of money are nothing to you, then I suppose you can move along to the next post…

Oh, and do enjoy this comment below the article where I found this information! Good to hear meth is alive and well:

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I caught onto Hunter S. Thompson and what he did, fairly late in life.

I was studying journalism and this one guy in my class, wearing an army jacket and sporting unkempt hair let us know that he wanted to be like Hunter S. Thompson. Everyine laughed and I sat there thinking “Who is Hunter S. Thompson?”

I went home that day, did some Google work and went back to class. I obviously won’t mention the guys name who was in my class, well call him Horatio, but he was hilarious at times, especially as his drug use escalated. You never really quite knew what he was thinking as he had a very twisted view on reality. He is intelligent and knows way more than me about the world in general, and he uses words in his writing that I nearly always need to check up on in the dictionary.

One amusing incident comes to mind when he had not been at college for about a week. I knew some trance parties had been happening and he was going to be dropping acid and taking more coke than was humanly possible. Myself and a mate went to check on him one day after collegebecause I feared for his health. We rang the door bell to hs flat and there was no answer. We rang again.

Still no reply.

I wasn’t keen to go in for fear of finding something that would probably connect us to some sort of mystery. So my other mate says “Let’s jump the wall and check in on him”

So he starts scaling the wall and suddenly Horatio comes out and he’s standing on the balcony, looking VERY pale. So my mate says we should go up and just check that everything is cool.

I pulled him aside and said “There’s not a chance I’m going up there have you seen how pale he is? It can’t be good”

As it turns out he was shaving, and when he came out the reflection of the shaving cream had left me thinking that he had gone on the craziest acid and coke trip in the history of man.

As I learned more about Hunter I naturally found out about Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey To The Heart Of The American Dream. I’ve read the book and watched the movie, and I now know a little bit about Hunter S Thompson and what his life entailed. As a professional journalist, he got to see way more than most. He hung out with everyone from celebrities to politicians, but no matter how well connected he was and how much money he made, you realise that Hunter was just doing his thing and would have been doing it anyway, even without mainstream success with movies and books. He still lived on his ranch and still wrote every day because it was what he loved. He never changed for anything, and it’s something admirable.

He was a writer and a damn fine one at that, and he loved to push the limits of life.

Some of his quotes, to give you an idea:

“Buy the ticket, take the ride”

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro”

“It never got weird enough for me”

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me”

And that was Hunter. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was turned into a movie starring Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro.

It’s based on the book, where Hunter was commissioned to cover the Mint 400 race and he used the money they had given him to stock up on two bags of grass, seventy five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

Anyone with an appreciation for Hunter will smile when they hear that first line of Fear and Loathing…

“We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold”

I’ve recommended the book and the movie to countless friends and a lot of people come to me saying “What the hell was that all about?”

To appreciate Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, you need to have an open mind. Open it up to hallucinogenic trips, open it up to the crazy and insane. Enjoy the ride. Enjoy it for what it is. Also take the time to Google a bit more information on Hunter S Thompson and understand what the man really was about.

It’s a crazy trip through Vegas where everything happens in excess and where the writer takes on Vegas and drugs in an unprecedented manner. Hunter wrote up until his death in 2005, with his last article entitled “Shotgun golf with Bill Murray” available to view HERE.

So go buy the book, and the DVD. Watch and read them a couple of times and you’ll realise why there is such status surrounding Hunter S. Thompson.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

When I was in school, everyone had their own unique look. All the girls I thought were attractive had long, straight, shiny hair, they never ate (What? Nothing to see here…) and they always had some sort of expensive perfume that would drift my way, sending me into a trance… (One of my favourites is Poison). Back in skool we could never get tricked because what you saw during the day was what you would see anytime. Girls with straight hair were girls with straight hair. Girls with curly hair were girls with curly hair. Girls with ginger hair…

There were no David Copperfield tricks or Shrek shenanigans, with people completely changing looks. You were either an angel or you looked donkey. And then popular culture introduced us to the GHD and a mans life became more complicated than it already is. Yes, yes, our lives are complicated.

I’m currently debating between getting PS3 or buying Guitar Hero for the X-Box. Decisions decisions. The mind boggles.

The GHD was introduced as a styling aid but it’s come as more of a one man war zone, a tool so destructive in it’s power that it should be considered a crime against huMANity. It’s 220v are not the problem, neither is it’s heat. It’s what it does to people that has such horrific consequences.

Angel? Devil?

Never before have so many women had straight hair and it’s quite scary, like we’re trying to create the perfect human. All this straightened hair in the day leads to death in the morning. You wake up and the girl from the night before has turned into an afro-sporting body rocker capable of making a sane man barrell roll through a plate glass window, off a balcony and onto hard cement, in order to escape the frizz of fury.

Hair that has been heated up to within an inch of incineration pays the user back the next day with a frizz bomb.

“I’ll teach her!” You’ll probably hear it screamng as it gets burnt, moments before going out on the town.

What this does for a man is it puts him into a fight or flight mode. Because it’s with a women, there is no fight so it’s flight, and…BOOM…man leaps from window to escape the frizz. When you see a guy walking around with a sprained ankle, you’ll know that last night a GHD ruined his life.

I’m all for GHD’s, but then again I’m all for lots of things, as long as they have warnings on them. I think GHD’s are fantastic, and it’s definitely made the world a more beautiful place. Walking in shopping centres is now an experience as a whole lot more people are looking a whole lot better and I’m fine with this.

But there should be a warning that comes with these women, something saying “Hair by GHD”. Just like I have a warning on my boxer shorts saying “Jackhammer”, I think the GHD warning needs to become more mainstream.

Before long guys will be jumping headfirst out of chicks bedrooms in the morning because their lives will have been ruined by GHD’s more than one time already.

Having a women look completely different the next morning is as much of a crime as you going to bed with us and we have a six pack and a Lambo, and you wake up and we’re fat and driving a Mazda Sting. You’d feel cheated wouldn’t you? And so we feel cheated.

We’re just getting the drunken driving rates down, the last thing we need is GHD assisted suicide in the males life.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Now you must understand how I chill. I’m not one of those guys that is all like “Yeah I’m chilling” when he writes an sms, but meanwhile back at the ranch he is sitting down to a meal with the bird. No…that’s not me. I’m the lone wolf and I will do whatever I want, whenever I want. When I say I’m chilling, I am maxing the hell out to an insane level of sickie woo-ness.

So I’m chilling drinking coffee that is scorching hot. I like it scorching hot because I drink it naked, and the possibility of hot coffee spilling on me jewels makes me a little bit more aware of my surrounding which helps with ADD. It helps me focus.

So if your kid has ADD, then make him/her/it drink hot coffee naked. It’ll do wonders.

The other benefit of drinking coffee naked is that, should a model suddenly walk in, you’ll already be kit off, and the caffeine will give you the necessary boost. And you can rub the sugar on her tits, if only to call her sugar tits.

I find it semi to fully arousing the way I start writing on something and then lose my way and end up down the path, sometimes ending up on the landing strip.

So I’m stirring my coffee with my johnson and then suddenly, you know, a few hours have gone by and I cannot for the life of me recall why I started to write this in the first place. The title reads “Refillable pens for the planet”

I’m always weary of mentioning myself naked, because I always get undesirables approaching me asking if I can go to dinner with them, or they can just buy me a drink, or just sleep with me. This riff-raff does not fit in with the lifestyle, because to approach me, you must have at least clocked in 4 hours of exercise and no carbs in a day. No easy feat even for your average bulimia/anorexia patient.

Ok so there we were, on the subject of pens.  It amazes me how many people complement me on my handwriting (It’s neat,but does have some days off) and I put that down to the fact that every day of my life, I do some sort of writing that does not involve a computer. I’ll write in my diary, scribble notes, ideas and scenes in pencil, write stories in pen and generally take a bit of time to be away from the electronics.

I’ve always found something personal in writing, like an artist painting with a brush, or a songwriter actually sitting down and writing a song, and not simply playing with buttons on a computer. If you read old letters from a war, or from any important point in history, the words on those pieces of paper convey as much of the message as the state of the paper. The watermarks, dirt, the way it was written, the emotion penned into each word. This is something that we will never capture on computers.

We have future generations growing up without really knowing what it’s like to receive hand written letters. They will never know what it’s like to receive that hand written note, steeped with feelings and personality.

So where possible I try to keep a bit of an old school vibe to my writing, using pencils and fountain pens.

The Lamy Fountain Pen

Inadvertently, using a refillable pen does have it’s benefits to the planet. Because you’re just buying the refill cartridge, you’re saving a whole load of materials used to make an entire disposable pen. Then there is also less packaging to keep that new disposable pen in, such as cardboard and plastic.

But more importantly, a pen is something that every person of class should have. And not just any pen, something of quality. Many people say the watch has become obsolete with the invention of cellphones, but only the poor, weak and plebbish crowd say that.

Trust me, a good watch, a fine pair of leather shoes and a quality crafted pen have a lot to say about a person. Keep that in mind!

I’m rolling a Lamy fountain pen, and unbelievably, five refill cartridges only cost R30. This is rather cheap I would say. Coupled with some killer Moleskine notebooks, and I’m ready to roll.

Box of 5 refills — R30…even good in the recession

Next time you look at a person of stature, look at their watch and pen. You’ll notice that all successful people have a taste for lifes finer things, and we can all afford to do better with our pens.

Carry a quality pen with you wherever you go, it’s a deal maker. Would you trust a man in a baggy suit with a BIC click pen? No, because that would be an estate agent starting out in the business.

That’s not what you want.

Lamy available at Pen & Art in Cape Town.

Check them out at Cavendish Square and the V&A Waterfront.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

The average human being was not designed to work, and this has been proven time and time again through science.That science has been proven through celebrities such as Paris Hilton and any other trust fund baby out there. With little to no worries in life, other than when to spend the next million, these people are the epitome of happiness.

On the other hand, people who work for their money go through all sorts of problems which include stress and let’s be honest, no doctor ever recommended stress to get healthier. Most recommend relaxation.

It’s hard to be unhappy when you wake up and look over the azure blue ocean, nicely contrasted by the red Ferrarri Enzo in the driveway, and then look at your Breitling watch and…oh…woes me…I woke up at 3pm. Whoopsie daisies!

Am I not late for work? Oh no because I’m retired at 25…

Click HERE to read more.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I’ve been taking it back to the very old school for quite some time now (I’m still looking around for a typewriter), not just in life, but in writing too. While the internet has allowed us to make a living and beyond, there is something about the personally written word that will still live on forever, no matter how technologically advanced we get. If we run out of energy in the world, all our documents stored on computers will be useless.

But the written word will still live on.

If you’re a lover of all the finer things in life such as old notebooks, writing with pencils and fountain pens, hand written and signed letters, typewriters and cigars while penning your memoirs, then you will love moleskine notebooks. I’ve been using them for many years now and you will always see me carrying a small one in my pocket wherever I go. There is something about a notebook that is just so much better than writing notes on your phone. You can draw sketches, write and then file all your old notebooks when they are full. You can keep clippings in them and stubs of concert tickets, and anything you please really.

Then you open them a few years later and immediately they transport back to the day you wrote the notes, which does not happen with digital accessories. Notebooks have a way of preserving a moment in time, and allowing you to access it anytime you please. Notebooks have been the accessories of all the worlds elite, including Richard Branson, Hunter S. Thompson, Hemingway, Picasso and Van Gogh.

People of distinguished character carry notebooks and pencils, hammer away at typewriters, play records, write with fountain pens and are known as the thinkers of their generation. And now you can experience this too with the Moleskine notebook.

This is what the Moleskine website has to say:

“Moleskine is the heir and successor to the legendary notebook used by artists and thinkers over the past two centuries: among them Vincent Van Gogh, Pablo Picasso, Ernest Hemingway, and Bruce Chatwin. A simlpe black rectangle with rounded corners, an elastic page-holder, and an internal expandable pocket: a nameless object with a spare perfection all its own, produced for over a century by a small French bookbinder that supplied the stationary shops of Paris, where the artistic and literary avant-gardes of the world browsed and bought them. A trusted and handy travel companion, the notebooks held invaluable sketches, notes, stories and ideas that would one day become famous paintings or the pages of beloved books.”

“The notebook was Bruce Chatwin’s favorite, and it was he who called it “moleskine.” In the mid 1980′s, these notebooks became increasingly scarce, and then vanished entirely. In his book ‘The Songlines’ Chatwin tells the story of the little black notebook: in 1986, the manufacturer, a small family owner company in the French city of Tours, went out of business. “Le vrai moleskine n’est plus” are the lapidary words he put into the mouth of the owner of the stationary shop in the Rue de l’ Ancienne Comedie, where he usually purchased his notebooks. Chatwin set about buying up all the notebooks that he could find before his departure for Australia, but there were still not enough.”

The Moleskine Notebook

“In 1997, a small Milanese publisher brought the legendary notebook back to life, and selected this name with a literary pedigree to revive an extraordinary tradition. Following in Chatwins footsteps, Moleskine notebooks have resumed their travels, providing an indispensable complement to the new and portable technology of today. Capturing reality in movement, glimpsing and recording details, inscribing the unique nature of experience on paper. Moleskine notebook is a battery that stores ideas and feelings, releasing its energy over time .”

An interesting point is that Moleskine notebooks are printed on acid free paper. It’s a pity really as I’ve always thought that the idea of writing on acid paper would be a novel one. You’re first couple of lines would be a bit rubbish, but as your hands moves over the paper, inspiration would absorb into your body and make you a regular Hemingway. I’m pretty sure that’s why all the great writers of our time were back in the old school, when acid seeped through the pages.

Anyway, Moleskine notebooks truly carry some history to them, and they make excellent gifts. They are great for anyone of any age (Well I guess unless you’re 2 and can’t write) and will be treasured for many years as they capture notes and ideas, times, places and memories.

Moleskine notebooks are available at all Exclusive Books stores in Cape Town.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Can’t we have a world championships for Facebook War?

Please?

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

This is similar to that song Meatloaf sang, “I would do anything for food”, well at least it has similar undertones.

I was on the verge of some manic episode in the car when I changed the radio from Busta Rhymes and T-Pain onto another sort of radio station, probably satellite based, and came upon this song where this beast was singing “My life would suck without you” It’s a known fact that Cape Town originally wrote this song with me inmind, and now Kelly Clarkson has stolen it from Cape Town, and switched me out with a cheese burger.

I mean, really, “My life would suck without you” She’s definitely not talking about me, because I don’t know her.

There are plenty of girls in Cape Town who sing songs to me with the words “My life sucks that I don’t know you”, but we’ll leave that up to their therapists to sort out.

My source for this huge expose on Kelly Clarkson singing this song as a tribute to MC Cheese Burger comes from the following very reliable source.

Om nom nom!

A picture speaks a thousand words, so this article is getting a bit long.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Seriously. WHAT an idiot. There really is no explanation. He takes various disguises. If you see him in Cape Town, and you’re a girl, do the right thing and give him a titty show and he’ll leave, and be happy, and be on his way. I’m sure he’s harmless.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

We went beyond the curtain last week to attend some or other fashion show vibe at Ku De Ta nightclub in Edward Street, there by Tygervalley. Paul Snodgrass was the host for the evening, and entertained quite well while the models came on! I saw this on the way out:

Nice. On that note, does anyone even bother phoning those numbers, even if the driver is driving like a dildo? I don’t. They’ll drive themselves into the ocean soon enough, saving me the two bucks for the phone call.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I spotted this wine book at the wine store in Cavendish Square, oppossite Kauai. Surely this is meant to be a joke? I mean really, it’s too close to Huge Johnson not to be!

In related news, this guy was spotted lying on the bed in that bed shop outside of Cavendish Square, in the same road that McDonalds is on.

My theory on his early demise is Oprah Winfrey.

Either that or he got boned by some ogar walking out of Tin Roof. You know, the National Geographic candidates that stumble out of there at 4am, vomiting while shoving pies into their faces, but still wanting some action.

It’s a pretty solid theory to be honest.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Morning everyone

I’m having some computer troubles, and working on the Mac which I never use so I’m a little bit confused as to how to scale photos and all that which is VITAL for the news few couple of pieces.

However, let’s give you some good news stories, some which you may have seen, but worthwhile!:

Borat shouting “One of the wires is trapped around my kugelsack!” before falling balls first onto Eminem at the MTV Movie Awards. Click HERE.

Bar Rafaeli going kit off to promote Stephen Kings new book entitled Morality. Click HERE.

Some TV presenter bird, Kirsty Gallacher, wearing a black dress that was rendered invisible at some or other ceremony vibe, I wasn’t really reading. Click HERE.

My computer should be up later in the day, we’ll be back.

Oh and last nights winning lottery numbers for the South African Lottery:

9, 30, 39, 44, 47, 48 BONUS: 20

Lotto Plus: 1, 17, 19, 28, 34, 49 BONUS: 14

Did you win? Did you win? Hey hey? Because I didn’t!

Sean Lloyd

Editor