“Man you won’t believe, I was up until 3am last night, and I’ve managed to do a manual overdrive on the PCU, 1GB RAM water cooled central induction system on the new IBM atomic web book”

“Oh my WORD that’s so cool!” i say, while puffing away on a cigar, trying to remember what that girls name was at 91 last night.

Computer people like to come across as clever, and snigger when I’m playing on a computer and break something, because it gives them so much joy to fix it in a minute and then call me stupid.

Well if stupid is out until 3am partying like a rockstar pre-warming-matching for Armin Van Buuren rolling with Platinum Tickets when VIP are already sold out, then slap me around and call me stupid.

The fact is, anyone who works with computers wouldn’t be such an idiot and put all the things where my USB (Uninterrupted Sex Bomb) stick goes into, so close together.

Look at this! It’s a complete mess.

Two or three or four USB ports on top of each other, with a line for my ADSL cable thingy. INTELLIGENT. And then the rest of the back of the case is left open, like a wide desert plain.

This is like putting your toilet right next to your sink right next to an ADT hut. It makes no damn sense.

Oh look at me I’m Bill Gates I’m the clevererest man in the….SHUT UP! Shut your face! POW!

You’re an idiot for designing these stupid things so close together.

And don’t even get me started on that sound card that Al gore designed. That is ridiculous.

And please, for the love of Herschel, can we drop the word “geeks”

Crisis in MY life.

Sean Lloyd

Editor