Well, at least I’ve just gotten off the phone with his voice message. But because we’re basically best friends ( I call him C Ron — “See-Ron”) I know what he’s saying to all the people criticising him for his move from Manchester United to Real Madrid.

Basically, he doesn’t care a damn! For all you “bloggers”, “sports fanatics” and “Mancs”, can we please shut up now? Ronaldo doesn’t care what you have to say, and he doesn’t care who you are.

All he cares about is that he is awesome! A few photos of our guy:

“Yeah make that one supermodel with a side of lingerie”

Worried about life

“IMAGINE being a plebb ha ha ha!”

Seriously, does he look stressed? Does he look like he cares about your pathetic comments?

NO! So get back to your pathetic lives, take some Xanax, Oxycontin, Lithium, whatever.

He’s really not that interested, and neither am I. I’ve got a couch and an X-Box that need attention. And YOU young lady will be getting plenty of attention should you continue to wear those denim hotpants on winter!

SMACK!

Sean Lloyd

Editor