I very excite!

I very excite!

I nearly had pants explosion other day. I was rummaging through my e-mails and came across one from Twitter, informing me that Arthur Kade was following me. Now upon further investigation, it would seem that this is not the real Arthur Kade. Apparently.

Lucky me!

Personally, I think it is the real Arthur Kade, who then pretends that he is not. The fact is, the “fake” Arthur Kade is absolutely hilarious! To those of you not aware of who Arthur Kade is, he is this up and coming movie star overseas who rates himself beyond belief.

The thing is, his stories are so self obsessive, vain and arrogant that it has naturally led people to believe that his journey is something of a marketing ploy, by someone or something that we don’t know. Marketing ploy by a corporation, or just by Arthur Kade himself, his plan is working. Let me just get you going with some quotes from the real Arthur Kade website:

“I will drive home in the morning and then back to the shore for a HUGE party at The Chelsea and The Pool at Harrah’s with Kim Kardashian, so I will make sure that our table is placed near hers, so that the party is off the hook and hot.  Rumor is Justin Timberlake is at The Chelsea so if he is we will probably be introduced”

“I did see some guy holding his girlfriend back who wanted to talk to me, and I heard him saying, “Not now, not now” to her. I wonder if she wanted to meet me or just say something?”

“After another amazing night at The Chelsea (It has overtaken Mur Mur as my fav’ AC lounge), where I was walked in by people at the hotel, and past a HUGE line (Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to not be treated like a VIP)”

“I was sharing a room with my boy (We had old-style bunk beds) and one of the girls kept coming in the room to ask if she could sleep with us. It was so annoying because I told her to show me her body first, and finally I decided to let her sleep in bed with me, only if we hooked up”

“Why can’t girls just know that if they drink they look like idiots, and if they want to hang with someone on my level then they need to bring their ‘A’ game”

Honestly, this guy is SUCH a prick, that I know you will love him! He is completely over the top, and even though his looks are far from what you’d consider good looking in Cape Town (Home to some top models, including Shaun de Wet and you’ll see Damien van Zyl here as well…ladies, click those names for links. In fact I’m sure it was Shaun de Wet who I saw at Karma around two weeks ago), he still thinks he is awesome.

Want some Kade-erade?! Yussus…check that skeg

Being such a tool cannot be easy and you simple have to read Arthurs website. It’s not enough for him to mention how awesome he is once or twice in an article, instead, every sentence is crafted around him being awesome (In his mind) and an utter tool in everyone elses mind!

Now this brings me onto his Twitter page (Apparently fake, but it simply MUST be him!)

Check out some of his Tweets:

“Going to do some tanning for my starring role on Love Taxi. I use the stand up booths because the ones you lay down in are too small for me”

“I’m on a self imposed drought right now, mostly because I don’t want to waste my time with a less than perfect 10″

“Still can’t get over the nerve of the door man at The Pool who tried to charge me a cover. I’m thinking of having him fired. What a douche”

“My step mom’s mom dying makes me realise that I never want to die. I live such an amazing lifestyle of success, travel, partying & hot girls”

“It is amazing how people ‘recognise’ star quality, even when it’s just dressed casually and hanging out by the pool”

“Sitting at the hottest table for brunch. Manager obviously using my crew’s ‘it factor’ to attract more business. Getting great service though”

“I haven’t run into Justin Timberlake yet (I call him J.Tim), but I’ve really been too busy. It will happen”

Oh. My. Glory.

Are you taking in what just happened? Personally, I am absolutely shattered! Plutz! Again, that is his “fake” Twitter account, but it can only be him!

Imagine trying to act like such a doos, ALL THE TIME?!!

It must be phenomenal. I think what we have is someone who has taken Ari Gold and placed him on  horse steroids. This is Ari Gold unplugged. This is absolute demon of Ari Gold! Surely no one can act like this, and be real?

My guess is that we’ll be seeing a book and a movie on this guy, who attempted to live the most rock star, wank infested lifestyle on the planet. He is surely only doing this to garner material for a book or a movie. I can’t even choose words to describe him. You need to see this for yourself.

For the Arthur Kade website, click HERE. And please, do click the permalink on the articles, the comments are too beautiful! There are even people who are now taking to saying “Sipping on some Kade-erade” Like Gatorade. C-R-A-Z-Y!

And click HERE for ArthurKadeInc on Twitter.

To be honest, I’m exhausted after all of this!

And you thought I was arrogant…ha!

Sean Lloyd

Editor