I tend to forget things that I write, and I see people in public and they mention something hilarious that I wrote, and then I just kind of play along, because I have long since forgotten what I wrote and don’t want my fans to feel awkward in my no doubt astonishing presence.

In all honesty I forget most of the stuff I write due to the sheer amount that I write and my mental state at the time. What you read here is but a small part of the prose that flows out of my mind. I also forget what magazines I write to and what article and letters I submit, because I do it so often. GQ have been somewhat good to me and about three years ago I cleaned up on their winning letters. I can’t even remember the amount of times I’ve been published in the GQ letters page. For some reason they just dig the vibe I chuck out.

So I received an e-mail today from Max asking if it was indeed me in the letters page of the May 2009 GQ, and not some fool impostor. I had completely forgotten that I wrote to them, but then I opened my GQ and it was indeed me! Mentions in mainstream media used to give me a raging hard on, but not anymore. But I thought you needed to see this, brings back some high school memories.

This months GQ: I’m basically INSIDE them…saucy…

Here is the letter I wrote to GQ:

Dear GQ

When I was in high school , my buddies and I used to go on these massive missions, getting as high as was humanely possible and then embarking on road trips. We believed we were Hunter S Thompson — minus the mescaline, acid, coke, ether and amyls. At the time, we had also watched Super Troopers and there was a scene where the guys tell the cop he is crossing the border for “French fries and gravy — protein”

Now at the time, I realised that this was a joke because it was a stoner movie. Then I read the Jan/Feb issue of GQ, and there on page 121 it said, ‘Protein — Foods rich in protein, like potatoes…’ I don’t know if I live in a parallel universe like Leo did in The Beach, but this is completely mind-bending. Where are these potatoes that GQ and Super Troopers speak of? I love potatoes, but I just checked my bag of sweet potatoes and they contain only 1.1g of protein per 100g. Say I need 70g of protein per day, I would need to eat some 6kg of sweet potatoes per day. For me to do this, I would need to be smoking a load of chronic for munchies that are out of this world.

You guys must have been smoking weed while writing that article (Or watching some Super Troopers, or both) because I fail to see how potatoes are high in protein.

Sean Lloyd

P.S If you guys are smoking, let me know what it is. It sounds like some good shit.

GQ’s response:

White Widow, Northern Lights, Rooibard, AK-47, Pineapple, Blueberry Kush and potatoes. You have a point. The potato is mostly strach and water. The protein content is 1.87g, which, according to the International Year of the Potato website, is ‘high’ in comparison to other roots and tubers. Check it out.

So that’s it my readers! I trust that fulfilled your need to delve deep into every aspect of my life.

Short of making sweet love to each and every one of you, I don’t think there is much more I can do, especially on a public holiday!

I trust I have fulfilled your deepest desires for my celebrity.

Prost!

So grab the GQ, this months issue really is a cracker, and not just because it contains a piece of me. It’s really good!

Sean Lloyd

Editor