Obviously it’s now winter, and a lot of guys are going “Shit son, I didn’t get a girlfriend in summer, I’m in for a cold winter!”

And this is where Clicks come in. In a sort of sneaky way. The world is so censored these days that everything has to be hidden in some sort of code. Da Vinci code, chicks giving us all sorts of looks that FHM and Cosmo “decode” for us, drinks that somehow reflect your sexuality.

So if you’re a guy drinking a Brutal Fruit at a club, this immediately makes you gay. Did no one ever stop to think that Brutal Fruit just tastes really good?

Car’s apparently also hide some sort of sexuality code. A guy driving a BMW 1 series convertible, or a similar small convertible is suddenly gay. The world really is mental!

Anyway, Clicks have put together what is probably the most comprehensive kit for any guy wanting to come right without relying on his natural charm. It’s perfect for the Maths/ Chess nerd, or anyone lacking in skills with the opposite sex.

Great!

Let’s take a look at the products on the back page of their catalogue, labeled “Essentials”:

Eye drops. Mmmmmm the old eye drops! Three or four drops in a drink and you’re guaranteed action!

O’My Bed Warmer. For when your “date” is out cold.

Durex Condoms. Clicks promoting responsible unresponsible sex.

K.Y Gel. Because you have to be awake to produce…well…ahem.

Biral, which is a “mild tranquiliser of natural origin” Good grief Clicks, what are we teaching the youth? Eye drops and tranquiliser, all under the “Essentials”! Essential for what? The up and coming pedophile? The up and coming Bundy, Fritzl?
We won’t actually go anymore into this, I think we all get the picture of what Clicks are promoting.
Naughty…

Sean Lloyd

Editor