I know exactly what you are thinking and the answer is a resounding “YES!”

I DID just do that!

You see, Mat Damon was in a movie called The Departed, and I was sneaky sneaky, and managed to find a use for the word “depart” in the heading.

I know, tell me about it! You don’t just grab a diploma in journalism for being a below average story teller (Degree’s are too hectic for a man such as myself, a man of leisure and pleasure)

I bet D-Dog (We used to call him this in my LA days) uses the line:

“Do you have a sewing machine”

Chick: “Why?”

“Cos these puppies are ripped!”

Or:

“Do you know of a good vet?”

Chick: “Why?”

“Cos these puppies are sick!”

So anyway according to THIS article, Matt Damon will be riding in the Cape Argus/Pick ‘n Pay cycle tour. It’s such an amazing feeling bombing down the other side of Suikerbossie knowing you have conquered it (Yeah, I know the feeling, cleaned about 8 cycle tours myself — True story) It makes you feel like a free man.

Oh my word did you…

Did you…

Oh no you didn’t…

BUT OH YES I DID!

Did you pick up the vibe there?

A free man.

FREEMAN.

Morgan Freeman plays Nelson Mandela in this movie that is being filmed in Cape Town. It’s about some rugby cup in the world.

It’s interesting that Lewis Pugh swam to Robben Island just as Nelson was slotting that kick in the 1995 World Cup. It felt like just the other day.

So yeah anyway my buddy Mike has a house at Mount Rhodes which is on the left hand side of Suikerbossie, half way up. And this is where we will be, Team SLXS will be cheering along the riders as they bleed profusely from everywhere on race day.

Come on boys, harden up, I’ve sweated blood for many years riding that bike race. The only difference between you and me is that after sitting in the saddle for a few hours, I still managed to get it up and bang ALL the Energade cheerleaders. Or Powerade.

It’s hard to concentrate on the branding on their kit when their clothes have been ripped to shreds and I’m tearing off skimpy underwear with my teeth.

And if we see Matt Damon we’ll catch a photo. We will try get someone in the background to flash their boobs.

You keen.

See you there babe.

Sean Lloyd

Editor