“You got Lloyd” I growled, early morning post angel session the previous night.

“Lloydie, you got Bourne”

“Bourne, what’s happening son?”

“Pro X next weekend, can you put a write up about it sometime?”

“Dude, I’ve been out of the porn industry for years. I know they used to call me Pro XXX, but you know, now I don’t rely so much on the enormous size of my penis anymore, I’m a respectable member of society now”

“No tool, it’s the extreme games in Cape Town. Can you write something on it?”

“Uh, I don’t know, maybe. If you pay me. Or guarantee me something”

That afternoon, four angels arrived at my house, Veuve in hand, whipped cream spewing everywhere.

Bourne, here is your write up, good doing business with you, son:

The Pro-X is an annual live extreme sporting event, set in Cape Town in 2009 and is an event that you cannot miss if you follow the Cape Town crowd and all the best things happening in the city.

The 2009 Pro-X is going to be an absolute blinder with the top athletes from FMX (Freestyle Moto-X), BMX, skateboarding, mountain biking and wakeboarding set to blow your mind to pieces with the most insane stunts on the planet.

It’s going to be a two day festival of extreme sports, the hottest women and local bands playing live throughout the two day period. Bands playing include The Plastics, Dirty Skirts, Taxi Violence and The Little Kings.

The event is taking place at the V&A Waterfront, Cape Town and is the hot ticket for another crazy summer. The event will be held at the concrete area in front of the Audi dealership.

Supersport are even getting involved and this event will be broadcast on Supersport, further cementing it’s status as the premier extreme sporting event in South Africa, and more importantly, Cape Town.

I’m going to be down there with the Bourne2Ride crew, which includes Bourne2Ride owner Andrew Bourne, and Dylan Mitchell, Junior Boys South African Champ.

Dylan Mitchell. See the concentration on his face? That is the face of a man who is counting. Counting the number of chicks he is going to score once he lands this.

Andrew Bourne. Trying to remember if mum packed Melrose or chocolate milk in his lunchbox that day.

I’m not sure if Dylan and Andrew are dating, but I am currently single.

Cough cough.

Ummm…ladies.

No not you sir, I don’t do that.

What, for R10000000?

Ok you can have me for an hour.

What you need to know:

Event: Pro-X

Where: V&A Waterfront, Cape Town. Concrete area in front of the Audi dealership.

When? 7th and 8th of February, 2009.

Time: Saturday from 10h00 – 23h00

Sunday: 10h00 – 17h00

Tickets? Tickets are R90 per day, or R120 for the 2 day pass, available at Computicket. Buy your tickets HERE.

Check out much much more on the Pro-X website over HERE.

Sean Lloyd
Editor

This is another post on how to live successfully in Cape Town.

And the first thing you want to do, is NOT buy your drivers licence at PEP.

Because this is what we refer to as a hospital park.

You know like back in your school days, where a guy in your rugby team would pass you the ball, but pass it to your knees.

You would shout “That was SUCH a hospital pass!”

Well that’s what we did anyway. 4th team was mental. We were all on so many drugs.

Check out this parking that I spotted at Llandudno:

Nice parking, toolbox

You must have been abused as a child.

I also just really enjoyed this photo, it makes Llandudno feel like a bit of a movie scene.

Calm weather, the ice cream van like the old days and it just kind of encapsulates the Cape Town lifestyle of chilling to the max all the time without any worries.I like that.

It could also be any place in the world, as people who stay in Cape Town sometimes forget how awesome it is. Except me… I never forget!
It’s such a good summer.

Sean Lloyd

Editor  

That is just such a predictable (Whatever that means) headline for a Monday morning, and SO predictable coming from me!

This is kind of a diet update, for those of you who have not been following my reports on the lacklustre health standards some of us follow.

I just thought, that you can actually buy healthy take aways, and while I take it to the extreme, so should you! You do realise that you can order chicken breast fillets at Nando’s?

Well you can, you can!

I always cook way too much brown rice, or way too many sweet potatoes, so when I’m hungry, I just heat them up in in a pan, throw in a chicken breast or two, and I’m ready to hit the beach, in great shape!

So I just thought for next time, you can just buy a breast fillet at Nando’s. They are not on the menu, but you can order them.

YEAH! HOT BREASTS! 

They cost R14 each, and not only will your body thank you, but I will too.

Because I know you’re a sexy devil, sometimes you just need a bit of help.

And that’s where I come in.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

(This piece was written last week, apologies for the delay in getting it to “your” computer)

Wowzer, I awoke this morning to an absolute blinder of a day.

I heard my phone beep, and I was sure it was an angel messaging me thanking me for last night.

But it wasn’t. It was a message from my dad.

“Sorry to see your favourite deli Carlucci’s in Rondebosch in liquidation!”

“Dad, do not mess with me. I’ve just woken up, and I’m in pain from gym yesterday, and not from banging last night. Dad, there is no angel lying in my bed this morning, please stop with the abuse”

“See Cape Times today”

“Will do. Dad, why don’t chicks dig me?”

I got no reply.

THANKS Dad, for helping me out so in the female situation.

Anyway, I stumbled down to the corner cafe, wearing my robe, and purchased the Cape Times. I staggered back into the house, wondering if life could kick me harder while I’m down. I scanned through the pages, thinking surely my old mad was pointing me to an article about myself.

I scanned the headlines, but there was nothing entitled “Raddest dude alive”, so I knew they were not talking of thy Holiness, The Sean.

I sent a chick a message, for fun, because I was bored.

“Wanna do me?”

No reply.

I scanned the paper again. Ah ha! Dad was right in pointing me to these hallowed pages.

Carluccis in Rondebosch had closed down! Well slap me around and call me Susan!

I honestly CAN’T understand why this establishment had closed down. I mean really, it’s not as though it was toilet to start off with.

You can read my original review on Carluccis over HERE.

A couple of snippets from that piece:

“The chicken sandwich arrived and if I had shown a photo here of that thing, you would actually die. Two pieces of white bread, no lettuce, hardly any chicken to speak of and it came in at R28. Do you know what sandwich you can get at Woolworths for R28? An awesome one!”

“The bill arrived and I had been charged R44 for a salad that I actually didn’t receive.”

“I’m pretty sure with that service and quality of food, it will be closing down soon. I will let you know when it happens so we can toast to it. It’s definitely worth cracking a bottle of Veuve for that day.”

Well choke me out, the day arrived!

I really can’t understand WHAT went wrong with Carlucci’s.

Surely it’s not a service problem, because, you know, service isn’t really a part of the service industry, surely?

Well in any case, you can’t complain about the service that was given at Carlucci’s, because there was none.

A few choice snippets from the Cape Times article:

“Ian Williams Property Investments cc, running Carlucci’s in Oranjezicht, Roeland Street, Rondebosch and Bantry Bay, was recently placed under provisional liquidation by the Cape Town Magistrates court”

Williams said ” ‘trading circumstances’ arising ‘from the global credit crisis’ had seen turnover fall more than 30%, while overheads increased by about 10%”

I don’t think the credit crisis can be blamed, I think it’s absolutely shocking service and a poorly, poorly run business in the service industry.

It’s funny how in the credit crisis, the places with service and quality continue to thrive.

Oh wow look how it has had DEVASTATING effects on Kauai, vida e and Giovannis.

Absolutely terrible!

I’d like to get on my knees, say a little prayer to the Gods (Whoever they may be who watch over the restaurant business) and thank them.

You have succeeded, VICTORY!

Sean Lloyd

Editor