(NOTE: This first part will just focus on my visit, and in the next piece on the conference centre I will get into more detail on the sustainability report on Spier and it’s conferencing facilities.)

It’s quite amusing really, this thing we call “work”. It’s also so funny how things in life work out, like as soon as you have a girlfriend, suddenly there are 10 other little belters that want you as well. The world works in mysterious ways.

Anyway I found this story thoroughly enjoyable, because one of my business partners, Jerry D, had called me last week, absolutely smashed out of his mind and he told me he was playing with cheetahs and birds. Naturally I thought he was cheating on his bird, and the TV show Cheaters had caught him. Oh no…silly me! He was amusing himself with the free time he has (Anyone connected to me only works one day a week. Any more and you are immediately fired or suspended until you correct your ways) So Jerry D was enjoying his time with the cheetahs at Spier Wine Estate just outside of Cape Town, a privilege for which he had paid for.

Little did he know, that a mere week later we would be at Spier for work purposes. I had known that Jerry D was going to visit the cheetahs at Spier Wine Estate for quite a while, and I had also known for quite some time that we would all be attending the relaunch of the Spier conference centre, where we would get to play with the cheetahs for free.

But the sheer hilarity of letting Jerry D pay to pat the cheetahs, and then a mere week later doing the same thing for free, was too much for me to handle. I only let him know that we would be attending a work function on the day it was happening.

Naturally he thought it was amusing.

“Sean are you shielded from the outside world? You do realise there’s an economic recession, and you make me spend money when I don’t have to?”

“Economic recession? Are you serious? I have no idea what you are talking about Jerry!”

I still don’t know what this economic recession is about.

Anyway myself and the crew minced into the Spier Conference Centre, after taking the short drive from Cape Town. I cast an eye over the conference centre, meticulously scrutinising the venue.

“I can dig this” I crooned, as I made my way to the bottles and bottles and bottles of wine that had been put in front of us, and the wines were screaming “Sean…Sean…SEAN! Put me inside you!” There was also a whole table full of foods that I also put inside me. What was quite a nice touch was the fact that the food was displayed on a mirror, and it kind of reminded me of those Hollywood parties where we would always walk into a room and there would be a mirror full of cocaine.

A Cuban missile crisis for those on diet

 

The table with my favourite thing in the whole world, Spier’s Pumpkin Quiche. To die for doll!Ask for it when you visit.

I looked around and was quite impressed by the beauty of the Spier Conference Centre. Everything was clean cut, modern and befitting of the Spier name which we have come to trust. One of the main points spoken about during the launch was the fact that Spier have gone green with their conference centre, bringing in a whole host of new ideas to make the centre more energy efficient and eco-friendly.

Everything was thought through, from recycling paper on site, natural temperature control and even the reduction in plastic bottles used during conferences by offering water fountains where plastic bottles can be refilled.

After about four glasses of wine a lady walked up to me and asked if I would like to go pat the cheetahs.

“Would I…like to…go pat the cheetahs?” I replied while in one swift motion removing my shades ala Horatio Cane.

“It’ll be fun, come along” She said.

“Will…it…be fun?” I enquired, pushing the Horatio Cane joke a bit far, and ensuring that said lady walked off thinking I might have had a bottle of wine in me. She was right. I DID have a bottle of wine in me! Which was ever so naughty of me.

I minced my way inside thinking the whole cheetah thing was just a ploy to get some alone time with me, as I was looking rather dashing that day. I stumbled into the room that we were taken to and by George! There was a cheetah standing on a table, but, like, a real cheetah. One that runs fast.

Meow

I was amused by this whole episode of Entourage playing out in my life, and asked how fast the cheetah runs, while trying to stick one of my fingers in its mouth to see if it could taste the chicken and beef kebabs I had just eaten.

Ooooh yes…touch me there…

“It weighs 47 kilograms and is obviously designed for speed, reaching 80km/hr in 3 seconds”

“F*%K ME!” I was about to say, but then realised I was surrounded by about thirty other business people, who I could later use to make money off if I played my cards right.

“Well that’s swell, it’s so grand to be able to caress a piece of natures artwork like this” I mumbled, digging deep to find the sort of vocabulary that would make me sound clever, and hopefully earn me more money.

We were then moved swiftly along to allow other people to stroke the cheetah. On my way past the table to grab some more food, I also grabbed another glass of wine but then nearly dropped it on my foot when I saw what appeared to be a dog with wings. There was no way this thing was a bird, it was definitely a dog with wings strapped to it as some sort of marketing tool for Spier.

“What the HELL is that? Is that a rottweiller? How did you get the wings to move so realistically?”

“It’s actually an eagle, sir”

“Crisis almighty it’s huge” I motioned, pointing to it’s wings the size of a Boeing 747-400. Apparently it only weighs 5 kilograms though, but it has feet the size of my face.

“Good Lordy Lord” I shot a comment at Jerry. “Let’s go mingle outside, away from anything that would scare me whilst drunk.

Well do me sideways. I get outside and there are two owls, chilling on a table!

Hello Mr Owl, would you like a cheese sandwich?

“Throw me through a brick wall, aren’t those things only supposed to wake up at night” I slurred.

So there were two owls, in addition to a cheetah and an eagle. And this was all for the relaunch of the Spier Conferencing Centre.

So this past Friday, I spent basically half the day at Spier. This was my view from the days “office”

Mmmmm…that’s the good life

 

 

Proper hydration is vital, and Spier’s Sauvignon Blanc was a treat.

“By the beard of Zeus, Spier know how to do a proper launch” I said, referring to some other launches I have been to in my younger days that were less than impressive. Spier knew exactly what they were doing, and they did it in style.

What also struck me as unique in these days of economic depression and mental depression were the staff at Spier. They were so friendly I almost thought we were in a video game where everything was perfect. The staff were helpful and were enjoying the day as much as everyone else which is always a good sign of a healthy company. I always shy away from companies where the staff are unhappy because that means it is an unhappy work environment, and this makes for a negative company. I’m quite happy to say that Spier are happy!

I’ll be honest, if my business was making wine, I would be smiling all day and all night.

Once again I’m reminded of the question “What economic recession?”

Seriously, I couldn’t feel it at all at Spier.

Stay connected for the next piece on Spier’s conference centre, how to book a conference there and also their sustainability program.

Click HERE for the Spier website.

Click here for the Spier Cheetah Outreach Program.

Click here for the Spier Eagle Encounters program.

Sean Lloyd

Editor