I was at this soiree at the town apartment on Saturday night when I laid my eyes on the most gorgeous thing of my life. Unfortunately she would not speak to me, so I consoled myself and looked for happiness and love at the bottle of a gigantic wine glass. While I was perusing the kitchen, looking for stuff that would look good in my kitchen (I like to permanently relocate things), I came across the most beautiful bottle of Tabasco sauce I have EVER seen in my life.

It’s so small, probably so small that it would not even Tabasconize (I made that word up right now, feel free to use it, it will definitely be in the dictionary next year) one slice of pizza. I seem to have gotten slightly immune to Tabasco after a few too many drunken days at Forries, where after a few brews, I just pour Tabasco all over myself, all over chicks, in my eyeballs, on my main chap and stuff like that.

I obviously used to choke and cry when I first used it, but now it’s more tingly than hot. This little bottle of Tabasco is so dinky (With a “d”) though that you just want to eat it all up! Have a look:

Oh sorry, that was a little too sexual wasn’t it! I do apologise but I’m currently listening to Rebel Yell by Billy Idol. Whether that is sexual or not is another story, but anyway. Have another look:

Isn’t it too divine for words?

I think it is! I don’t quite know where to get it, but it’s 3.7ml’s of pure peppery goodness and you will literally want to pour it into your stomach. Directly. An IV drip would work as well, as my taste buds have become a bit dead due to overuse on the T-Sauce front.

I just thought that you needed to know about this bottle. Whether it’s going to make you wealthier or not is yet to be seen.

Sean Lloyd

Editor