You have probably already heard this, but I still cannot get over it because it is absolutely sickening! We were at the Red Bull Big Wave Africa a short time ago and I though the waves there were massive.

But while I was shaving my legs and moisturising this evening, I thought of how much more hardcore these guys are than me! Look, I can still pound the cane train, so I do win in that regard. But seriously, take a look at Twiggy over here, in a wave surfed off an unsurfed reef called Tafelberg Reef about 2 kilometres out to sea from Dungeons this past Saturday(While most sane people were hungover or still drinking):

Twiggy: Probably wearing a brown wetsuit

Let’s be honest, that is utterly insane! Firstly, congratulations to Twiggy, that is one of the most awesome displays of control you will ever see. To ride a beast that is around 70 foot is something only a few people will ever be able to do, and to even think of it here behind my computer is quite scary.

Apparently after surfing the wave, Twiggy threw up, courtesy of his best friend, adrenaline.

God it must be cool to be a big wave surfer. Tanned, chilled, chicks absolutely love it and after surfing what can only be described as the ABSA building in Cape Town, you won’t ever have to pay for a drink again.

Look, if I were Twiggy I would go to Hemisphere afterwards, walk up to the hottest chick and say:

“Good evening dear lady, I would like one mouthski please”

She would then probably tell me to go get fu…d.

I would then say:

“Listen bee-atch, I just surfed a 70 foot wave, so the least you can do is surf my 40 incher. In my sport people say you need huge balls, and I rock out with two coconuts every day. Now just touch it…”

This scenario wouldn’t be too far from the truth, because chicks would just bow in to your demands. Unless they are those uber bitchy Cape Town “Yeah I’m a model” chicks. Yeah you know the ones.

The ones who you have to give a Powerpoint presentation to in order to get just a kiss. Then you have to flash the AMEX black card to get them back to your place. Only when they walk into your palace and everything is gold will they sleep with you. Even then some freak out.

“What are you trying to do, are you trying to have sex with me?”

“Um no…I just spent R2000 on drinks for you and your ugly friends, drove you home in my SLK to my palace, and what I really want to do is watch South Park with you”

“Because I don’t just sleep with guys. Besides, I thought we could just be friends”

Oh good God almighty, please take this women away.

Then there are the other psychos, and this is true. Girl hits on guy all night, invites him back to her place. He gets there, starts putting out the moves and then suddenly:

“What the f*%k are you doing? Get out of my house!”

True story. You think this town is crazy, you have not seen Cape Town ca-razee!

Off the topic there though. Anyway, congratulations to Twiggy, you are not well in the head, but major respect to you!

Via WAVESCAPE

Sean Lloyd

Editor