So we decided to head through to Stellenbosch the other day when we are absolutely rail sliding the Black Viper in and around the bends of the road. We were dominating the road, owning it. We did a slingshot maneuver(How do we spell this one?) out of one of the bends, literally ripping the tar up and owning this section of tarmac. I guarantee if we had chicks in the car, panties would have magically come off. No doubt, myself sitting in the passenger seat, I would have gotten a hand around. Truth.

I’m serious, the driving was sexual. Dropped it into second for the slingshot, slammed out the corner and got the Viper up to 180km/hr.

All fun and games until we saw a baby.

A damn baby!

Sitting in the middle of a main road.

Selling weed! You should have seen the look on this infants face as we hurtled towards him! Even more spectacular was the look on his face as we hit him. Then…my God…we turned the wiper blades on to get him off our window because we were now pushing 200km/hr with a baby on our windscreen and we had absolutely no vision. I wasn’t worried about the baby, but I was worried about our dirty windscreen.

Ok there was no baby but we were doing 180km/hr. The look in my buddies face was spectacular as he realised we were doing a moderate bit of speeding, and a cop could arrest us now. That’s what we do though, we run with scissors, because it makes us feel dangerous.

It then occurred to me that while some people complain about the price of petrol, food etc we were literally burning holes in the bank.

We were driving at R180 an hour. Unbelievable. Nearly two R100 notes every hour were getting ignited by our engine.

Because with the current price of petrol, we no longer drive in kilometres an hour. We drive in rands an hour.

Most cars will use about 10 litres of petrol per 100km. At about R10 a litre, this is about R1 per kilometre. Which is QUITE expensive!

For the same amount of speeding a few years ago, we would be doing R100 an hour.

It’s not ideal that petrol is going up another 71c though, we are going to have to cut to R160 an hour.

Sean Lloyd

Editor