Congratulations must go to Bishops who won the game against Rondebosch on Saturday. Well done guys.

Look I would add my R10 worth here but I never watched the game. I mean…I was there but I was too occupied in my drinking, socilaising and name throwing. I took along a couple 200ml bottles of old brown sherry. Just the ticket for a rainy day in Rondebosch!

This is the last anyone saw of me…standing on a ledge at the new pool, with a bottle in my hand. Reports are that the international press were looking for me. But I am very very sneaky!

Naturally at any school game like this, there is going to be a minority crowd of white trash who thought they could dominate. A swift judo chop to these punks shoulders had them wincing in pain.

Please enjoy their fashion. White sunglasses(Probably Spitfire, R80), skater shoes that are so loose their feet swim around in them, hoodies trying to resemble Pharrell, trucker caps and a style of walking that they believe makes them cool.

Yeah guys. Carry on that way.

Chicks dig it. Ok then…

The crowd was massive though on Saturday and I was lost amongst all the little school kids. You know it’s a pity I’m getting so old because…damn…those school girls are much hotter than when I finished school. Look I did turn into an international sex symbol after leaving school, so maybe I was not as popular as I thought back in the school days where an exciting day consisted of my Biology teacher, Mrs Venter, bending over to put a tape in the VCR and showing a little bit of that black g-string.

After which she would ask me to come up in front of the class and read my project out.

“Um…no ma’m. Uh…really sore ankle. Just…um…just give me a couple minutes. And some ice. And a photo of a dead baby”

Honestly, was there anything worse in school than breaking wood and then being asked to go up in front of the class and read something.

It happens so easily. You are sitting in Afrikaans class bored out of your mind. You start daydreaming and your minds wanders a little…you think of how you finally pulled Kate in Blink on that rainy Claremont night.

Suddenly you crack wood. Then Mr Pasquallie says:

“Mr Lloyd kan jy asseblief jou boek geread”

Obviously my Afrikaans has gone to shit and that makes no sense, but essentially I’m trying to say that the teacher called me up to read.

“Uh…meneer…ek kan nie”

“Kak man. Kan nie lees?”

“Ja skat”

“Nee, kak man, staan op”

“Meneer ek het hout”

“Jou vuil uil”

God talking of vuil uil reminds me of this chick who was a bit of a skank that used to hang around the circles I used to.

“Vuil Gail”

Ha ha!

School days…good times!

Sean Lloyd

Editor