In the old days I used to see loads of jeans that I liked and that I wanted to EAT. My current pair of Levi’s are around 7 years old and are now starting to fall apart. Every time I repair a hole, a new one appears and so I decided to test the waters of the jean industry this past week and see how it has changed since I last bought jeans (Levi’s 507 bootcut, old school) Well it seems the industry has turned into an absolute mess!
The trend to be emo is clear with skinny black jeans being all the rage. For men. Another trend I’m noticing is the revival of anything on the back of the jeans that has to do with metal. Jeans used to have rivets on the back of them but these were removed in response to school boards complaining that the rivets on the jeans that students wore were damaging the school chairs. Cowboys also complained that these rivets were damaging their saddles(SOURCE). This was in the 1960’s and clearly the people who now make jeans are on a large amount of drugs.
Jeans from the likes of Energie and even Levi’s are being produced with zips on the back of them, and even massive metal buttons. I know it’s not quite as popular as in the John Travolta days, but I still like to sit on my car. I do. That’s what I like to do. But if I buy these new jeans, it’s going to look like little Timmy from next door took sandpaper and sanded my entire bonnet down. Do these jeans makers think car paint has changed much since the 1960’s? Do they now think paint is non scratch? It’s ridiculous!
So I had to pass on these jeans because they will damage my car. Then I found some cool jeans from Nudie at Woolworths but they were so tight as to ensure that I will not have kids one day. I could barely move without popping a nut(Sorry, I had to) Besides my immense piece was on show in these jeans, and while much of my day to day inspiration is taken from Ron Jeremy (Ron can actually give himself a mouthski, awesome), I prefer to keep more low key. Then eventually I found a nice fitting pair of jeans at Levi’s, but I didn’t like the over dyed look. Personally I want the fit of the Levi’s and the look of the Nudie jeans. But I can’t find anything like this. I personally believe that they should only have ever made three pairs of mens skinny pants ever. EVER. And these would have been made for The Bee Gees, the classic nuthugger look.
Wear skinny pants. If you are one of these three men.
So I strolled into Diesel at the V&A Waterfront because there were signs on the window saying “Sale 50% off” Which would have been great if they stocked anything! Seriously…there were about four pairs of jeans on the shelves. What is the point? Ok so maybe everyone came in and bought jeans on sale, but get some more stock you idiots. And have a 50% sale constantly, that will make the average pair of jeans about R1 million.After the mess that I had been witness to I could not actually be bothered looking for jeans, so I paid my R10 parking and left. R10 for about an hour? What, are the V&A Waterfront staff eating lunch at Beluga every day? The Waterfront is a beautiful place, if you’re a tourist and coming in with pounds. The shop assistants hear your accent is American, and immediately prices jump by 300% and your credit card gets raped and pillaged. Nice.
Sean Lloyd
Editor
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