I realise this is not news as such, but everyone would have heard that next year Cape Town will not play host to MyCokeFest. We all know this. But let’s look deeper into the cancellation of the event. I realise the sponsors can’t take the risk, but I think the public who complained need to be PUNISHED!

Let’s look at it like this: MyCokeFest is a 12 hour music festival and it was held at Kenilworth Race Course in Cape Town. I know that it was hectically loud(I was in the area), but it was a ROCK CONCERT! I mean…let’s be honest…what were people expecting? Were they expecting a violin and a banjo to be played all day, with whisper soft vocals from a Grade 2 choir?

12 hours. That’s exactly half a day. That’s one seven hundred and thirtieth of the year people! When you are 100 years old and about to drop kick the bucket, is your last thought really going to be “I’m so happy I complained and got MyCokeFest cancelled”? I highly doubt it.

Cape Town is full of little quiet places to go if you don’t want to be around on that particular day. Seriously, why don’t you try and get out a bit more. Or if you don’t like getting out of the house, then what is the point of living in Cape Town?

Is a 12 hour concert so much to deal with considering that there are quite a few other things that are important in the world? Number one being having a life.

I actually never got around to reading The Tatler because I can just imagine what people wrote to The Tatler. They love writing “strongly worded” letters. They want to sue, they want to move out of the city and they want the government to intervene. What they don’t realise is that they are but a small part of the world. Not everything revolves around these people, but they seem to think so.

To be very honest here, if I were Coca Cola, or BIG Concerts, and I had full control over how the concert was run, I would run it next year in Cape Town. But I would PUMP the volume up even more. I would turn it up so loud that people in their New York apartments would be able to hear it. I would also double the concert time and make it a 24 hour concert of pure rock ‘n roll excess. There would also be times during the concert when I would ask all 20000 people to jump up and down in rhythm, thus shaking the ground and causing as much noise as possible.

I would teach everyone a lesson in excess. That way if they complain about that concert, you can negotiate with them. You can tell them that you will return the concert back to it’s original format of 12 hours and you will also return the noise to the normal level. It’s a case of using reverse psychology(Or something to that effect)

If people are going to complain about things such as MyCokeFest, and Eskom, and crime, and the petrol price, and the food price, and the rain, and the sun, and God knows what else, then don’t you think it’s time they move? Because I DO! Honestly if you are so unhappy and fail to see anything positive then please do go. I’m sure one of the airlines will sponsor a free flight, full of these people, to get out of here. If I owned an airline that operated in South Africa, I know I would take a salary cut to send these people packing! Just a quick recap, in photos, of what Cape Town has to offer at various times of the year:

UGLY!

POOR!

TERRIBLE!

I know…But some people still want to complain about everything. They WANT to write letters to community newspapers. They want the young people not to have fun. They want to feel important.

“Oooooh my letter helped get MyCokeFest cancelled, I’m SO important”

Please pack your bag and get on one of the sponsored flights that will leave promptly. The flight that will just have a mechanical problem and the crew will jump out safely, while the complainers go to a depth of about…ah let’s see…to the depth of about the Titanic. Then they can complain as much as they want because from the ocean floor…no one will hear them! Not to mention the death thing either…

It’s just that…you know…life is more important than constantly finding things to complain about. I don’t know if it’s got to do with our newspapers here, but it just seems that we are always complaining about something. As soon as things are going smoothly…bang…we find something new to complain about. When things are going well we think “Why are they going so well?” Then we find things that are not going well and focus all our energy on them. MyCokeFest signals that Cape Town is a happy place that just wants to party. But no, we must NOT be happy. We must not have fun. We must be more quiet.

It’s getting pathetic.

Let me run MyCokeFest and I will make a nuclear explosion sound tame.

Come on people, let’s just stop complaining for once, please? One hundred and twenty people have now managed to ruin a day of excess for 20000 people.(UPDATE: According to the Peoples Post, another happy go lucky newspaper who people write letters to, complaints are still coming in)
Surely the government can give us funding to get rid of these people? Send them somewhere quiet like the Kalahari. Or just somewhere far away where they can live their own little miserable lives and die without having experienced what it is to live a remotely interesting life. Because they can then die complaining and let the rest of us rock out in Cape Town.

Without having to hear their miserable whining.

*By the way I think all the figures here are right. I got them from Facebook, so…but I think it’s all correct*

Sean Lloyd

Editor