0 Comments Sunday Times enjoy their language

Most Sundays around here at SLXS are SPENT having a braai and recovering from whatever pursuits we have been up to. Whether that is partying, watching polo or completing some sort of event such as the Two Oceans Half Marathon.

So it was fascinating to find the Sunday Times brandishing a new dictionary yesterday. It’s normally pretty chilled out but the editor and writers decided that yesterday it was time to spice things up. I personally think they are taking the lead of Derek Watts, who is making a mockery of everyone by just being the funniest anchorman alive.

Sunday Times: Next week they will throw “cock balls” into the equation

I was reading the intro of the page 3 story entitled “The stinking state of SA’s waters” Well that is NOT a good sign is it! But let us forget about that for a moment and quote the beginning of this article. It’s almost poetic:

“Go to the beach. Have a swim. And wallow in human shit.”

Good grief! Breaking out the big guns there aren’t we? Perhaps they just want to spice things up a little bit to keep their readers guessing. No doubt readers will write in complaining because they have no lives of their own and love writing “strongly worded” letters to editors of various publications. Luckily for me I don’t have people complaining. You all know what we are about. And if you do complain about something stupid, like the fact that it’s disgusting that I joke about stalking people on Facebook, your e-mail accidentally gets dropped in the trash can. That’s the way we do it.

I would also like to spice up this page a bit. Cock. Balls.

There we go, much better.

Then moving swiftly along to page 6 of the Lifestyle section, we have a little piece called “The shopper” It says:

Deandra Solomon- party animal, label whore and footballer’s wife in training.

So we are dealing with a WHORE of sorts it would seem! Quite mild use of the English language there by the Sunday Times.

Not to mention the fact that Deandra is a label whore, I would also like to know who the hell Deandra Solomon is? Where is my piece in the Sunday Times? Can’t I also be labelled something? I feel VERY left out.

But this new turn of events definitely signals a turning point for The Sunday Times. I’m quite excited actually.

Next thing we know it’s going to be all smut complete with page 3 girls and it will be your regular Daily Voice.

I’m pretty excited that The Sunday Times is going down this road. However it took me about two years to scour the internet and remove all the photos of me in a white Speedo on Clifton so I’m scared they might still have a copy of it and reprint me on page 3. Look it’s not that I’m pasty and fat. Quite the opposite in fact. I’m ripped, tanned and toned.

That’s what scares me though. My stalkers are going to come back and I’m going to have to apply for another 500 restraining orders. Especially against Hector who wants to turn me into a lampshade.

Sean Lloyd

Editor