Living in Cape Town you will see your fair share of models. All the models live here and it’s a fairly cosmopolitan city. Naturally vanity comes into play here and it’s often quite hilarious to just observe how vain some people really are. Ha ha I see all these things happen all the time! Seriously most of you will have done one of these things on this list.
This is the SLXS guide to knowing if you might in fact be vain. If you at least crack a sly grin while reading this, you might be vain.
Open the passenger window
You might drive a car without an airconditioner and so the need to open the windows on a hot day comes into play. However, being really into yourself and your looks, you don’t want the wind messing up your hair. So you open the passenger window to cool the car down without messing up your hair. A trick employed by the elite of the vanity crowd.
Using two mirrors
Before leaving the house your hair needs to be in immaculate condition. Not content with looking good from the front, you want your hair to look perfect all around. So once you have styled your hair you get another mirror to check the back of your head. Bang you know it. You’re so vain.
The rear view mirror
You regularly get hooted at in the car because the traffic lights go green and you are busy looking at yourself in the rear view mirror.
You might also find yourself looking at yourself in the rear view mirror while driving. When you look back at the road you get a shock, because you realise that your eyes have been off the road for more than 10 seconds and you could have in fact had an accident.
Your portrait on your desk
Your work desk only has one photo. And it’s of you. Yes, you’re so vain!
Your reflection
You walk past windows(Car windows, shop windows) and try and catch a glimpse of yourself to check that you still look good.
You also cannot for the life of you walk past those mirrors in Cavendish Square(The ones next to the elevators) without looking at yourself and touching your hair.
You also use your sunglasses reflective coating to check your reflection, to see that you are looking good.
Taking photos of yourself
In the absence of a mirror, you use the camera on your cellphone to take a photo of yourself, inspecting it to see that, yes, you are so vain.
You check your tan
You constantly compare your tan to others, saying “I’m so tanned, look how pale you are!” You then laugh, as though having a tan makes you a much more accomplished human being.
You take untag Facebook photos
Whether “untag” is a word still needs to be decided, spell check says it’s wrong. Anyway you see a photo on Facebook andsomeone has tagged you in it. You think “Hell NO!” and take the tag off yourself so that the photo won’t show up in your profile.
You only pose in photos
There is no photo of you smiling, or just not looking at the camera. At all times your face is directed at the camera, and you are pulling a Blue Steel. Or a Magnum. You are Derek Zoolander.
Your profile picture
Your profile picture on social networking sites is one of you taking a photo of yourself in the mirror
“You’re so vain, you probably think this post is about you, you’re so vain!”
If you think this post is about you then you are so vain.
Sean Lloyd
Editor
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