I realise that some of you may be experiencing the odd sensation of not seeing my sponsors on the right hand side of the page, and you may find them at the bottom of the page.

Obviously this is not ideal.

But don’t worry, we will be sorting things out in the near future because I sense something big might happen this year. No really…I do.

So that’s what I had to tell you on this fine Saturday a morning.

And it is a beauty!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

It always amuses me when the traditional news sources think that they know more than we do here at SLXS. Ha ha pity the fool! I know more than they think they know.

In fact…I know more than they know they know!

I wrote THIS STORY the other day, suspecting that arson was involved in all these fires of late in Cape Town(Do you like how I used “of late” instead of “recently”? Testament to my writing prowess)

The Cape Times headline today is “Serial arsonists blamed for runaway city fires”:

They went on to say that fire, city, arson, fire fighters, water…you know what it’s Friday and I don’t feel like working! How about that!

Anyway the whole angle of the story is that arson is suspected.

Like the readers of SLXS were not aware of that. Well, seeing as though I pipped the Cape Times to the post here, I think I deserve a little party tonight.

And so begins the quick descent into debauchery upon the Cane Train. My ticket is stamped, I have taken my clothes off…and I’m ready for the train ride!

Enjoy your weekend all, and do check in on Monday where I will be here to entertain, inform, enlighten and just act the class clown.

Because that’s what I do. It’s my job, it’s my life.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

When I do drink vodka I always settle for a bit of Absolut vodka. The Swedes know how to make their grain into booze. I had not bought a bottle in a little while and so when I was in town on Saturday, I thought I would swing into Midmar bottle store and see what I could buy for a boozy weekend.

Well I will be damned!

I had been looking for a bottle of Absolut vodka that came in the gold cover but I could never seem to find it. It seems that it is limited edition and you don’t see it often. But I found it! It perfectly suits the sort of lifestyle that SLXS want you to live. It’s about the excess and just living flat out.

Absolut XS

My favourite thing about the gold case is that it’s called “Absolut Bling-bling” and it perfectly encapsulates the Absolut brand as a lifestyle brand. A lifestyle that one would aspire to. The write up on the bottle is also amusing:

This precious vodka was distilled from grain born and raised in the bling-blinging fields of southern Sweden. Vodka has been shining under the a.k.a of Absolut since 1879. This bottle is one of the few to be dressed up for the party. Unlike the threads, the spirit inside is the real thing.

I think that’s really cool and kind of sums up what we do and what we like. If you can find one of these bottles buy it straight away as they sell fast. Retail is about R110 or R120, I can’t quite remember because I was so excited to find it!

And just to make this a product review, the product inside the bottle is spectacular.

Drink it in…it always goes down smooth!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

There appears to be some sort of music event happening on Clifton 4th beach this coming Saturday, the 9th of February, in conjunction with Capetalk and BP Express.

I have no idea what music is going to be played but it should be awesome! I love the beach, but it’s even better at night because I look much better at night.

You see during the day my looks are passable, but when my shirt comes off my lack of pecs and triceps and deltoids seems to deter people. However at night this is all hidden, thus increasing the amount of people that want to hang out with me. That is why I am a recluse during the day, avoiding people and going about life at my own pace. But at night I tend to lose the plot, because people are led to believe that I’m from Fight Club and I’m just not allowed to talk about it.

For those of you unaware of what Clifton looks like, here is the view from the helicopter(Where is that thing? I seem to have misplaced it recently. That could be a costly mistake):

So that’s where the event is taking place and I think we can all agree that it is NOT an ugly place. Neither are the people who go to it.

BP Express have kitted the event out this year. They have provided free parking on a first come first serve basis at the La Med sports field and they have also thrown in a complimentary shuttle service along Beach Road. That’s the road that runs along the beach. Naturally.

There is also a crew of people who will help you out with carrying your picnic baskets down to the beach.

This is handy. Sometimes I am so plastered when being dropped off at the beach that I can’t even carry myself down to the beach, let alone my towel.

Well that’s what I have to tell you.

Moonstruck 2008

Music on the beach

Clifton 4th beach

Saturday 9th of February 2008

Time: 6pm

Unfortunately you won’t see me there as I will be attending the Twentybrand party at Assembly. That’s if my genes can survive the Cane Train party on Friday night.

So if you are at the Twentybrand party, I will be the ridiculously tanned and toned individual standing in the corner at the bar putting out the vibe.(I will work out feverishly and hit the beach full time until Saturday night)

You know the vibe I put out.

Yeah that one.

The one you can’t resist.

The one you know you WANT.

Your knees go weak…

This is getting ridiculous I should go now.

See you Saturday!

Wear something tight…

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Being an international man of excess, leisure and absolute pleasure I find myself interacting with a vast amount of people. And therefore I get to do some cool things that other people may not know about or get invited to. Luckily for you, I share it all, with all of you, all the time!

Gary Bailey

So it was with some amusement and excitement that I was invited by my preferred safari operator, Siyabona Africa, to a presentation at Bishops school in Rondebosch with Gary Bailey speaking. Normally entering a school strikes fear into my body because it was a dark time for me. School that is. Anyway, seeing as though the World Cup is going to be played in Cape Town for a few matches, I thought it necessary that I attend this function. I also just attended because I thought a might get a free stay at one of the more exclusive game lodges up country.

Sadly all I got was some information on the 2010 World Cup. But that’s good news for you, because now you will be more informed!

Gary Bailey says that almost every sector of business will have an opportunity to get involved in the 2010 Soccer World Cup and this even includes schools. Looking at the size of the 2010 Soccer World Cup in South Africa, it is clear that it is bigger than anything we have experienced.

Bailey said that there are expected to be 220000 overseas visitors and another 180000 from Africa. This means the 2010 Soccer World Cup will have 10 times more visitors than the 1995 Rugby World Cup and 15 times more visitors than the 2003 Cricket World Cup. Which means that it is going to be something to behold!

Naturally what this means is that every single one of these visitors needs to be accommodated and transported during their stay in South Africa. To do this will require a great deal of planning and co-ordination to ensure that the spectators are able to get to their games on time and also to make sure that they are kept occupied between games.

He said schools such as Bishops can get involved in the 2010 World Cup through the following opportunities:

Making use of the fields(Mini fan camps)

Renting out the boarding section to fans

It was also noted that building relationships with overseas schools with similar profiles to Bishops(Such as Eaton) would be beneficial. This could be done by making their boarding houses available to staff and families of students who may wish to travel to Cape Town during the World Cup. This could also open up opportunities for future exchange programs.
Gary Bailey said mobile phones will play an important part in the planning and co-ordination of such an event. One of the plans Bailey said was being considered was linking a spectators ticket to their cellphone. Therefore a fan will arrive at a certain venue and the ticket with the fans name printed on it will have to match up with the information on the phones SIM card.

The problem I personally forecast for this is the fact that people may lose phones, or forget them somewhere, or batteries may be flat. Technology like this is good but I think there could be considerable problems when we take the various factors into account.

What was interesting though was looking at the use of cellphones for crowd management. A display screen could be used to show organisers where overcrowding may be occurring by sensing the density of active cellphones. In this way the necessary crowd management measures could be put into place sooner rather than later.

Foreign visitors also may have some language difficulties here and Bailey said there is a project to use the online translation program Babel Fish to cellphones which would help communication with foreign visitors.

Another very important point raised was allowing fans without tickets to be able to view games at the various fan parks they are staying at. This involves the use if a special definition TV set which is an inflatable TV screen that can be erected at fan parks.

Gary Bailey said that in Korea and Germany, fan parks had proven to be a big success and that they would be really important in South Africa.

So those were the main points discussed. From my point of view I think fan camps will be a huge factor in the 2010 World Cup and I think they are an integral part of a successful Soccer World Cup in South Africa. However we are all going to need to be more involved in managing our use of electricity.

Fan camps are going to need power but it needs to be as clean as possible. If generators are going to be run they should try to be run on something like biodiesel. At last years Rocking The Daisies Festival in Darling the generators were run on biodiesel. It was made using cooking oil that had been collected beforehand from the food suppliers from the event. Something like this is a simple idea but we need the minds to put it together. We need to also make sure that our transport for fans to and from the various games is cleaner and better.

I will be going into more detail on the environmental aspects related to the 2010 World Cup in the coming weeks and months.

In the meantime, if your business is interested in maximising the potential of the 2010 World Cup, then please visit GAMEPLAN2010.

There you will find information on conferences that are on offer to help you and your business in making the 2010 World Cup a financial success.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I’m always amazed that people STILL keep their wine at room temperature, thereby risking spoilage of the wine. Never mind the fact that warm wine is not easy on the palette.

It is therefore with great amusement that I acquired a wine fridge(Thanks Boardmans) and people constantly ask me why my wine is the perfect temperature.

The picture is blurred because I AM drunk

In fact…I have just passed out in the fridge

The wine fridge comes with two setting, one for white wine, and one for red wine. However I stock both white and red wine, and put the white wine at the bottom of the fridge because it is always a bit cooler at the bottom.

Trust me the last thing you want to do is invite some bird round and you give her some warm wine. You want to come right don’t you? YES!

Some people say that a wine fridge is not that necessary. Well I tell you what, a car is not necessary either, but it’s damn convenient! Just as you would struggle to convince someone to marry you if you rode a bicycle everywhere, so you will battle to convince a girl that you are worth dating if you are serving her horribly warm wine.

Do you think George Clooney pimps around his villa on Lake Como in Italy serving poor quality wine at the wrong temperature? No. Exactly.

Do you want to live like George Clooney? I think you do.

It also looks damn good when you walk into someones house and they have a wine fridge because it shows you are not dealing with just any commoner. It shows you are dealing with someone with style and class, who knows where they are going in life. I made that up on the spot I don’t even know what it means.

Wine at the correct temperature is a delight and you will want to drink more wine. More more more! It’s so damn good and the only thing better would be to have your own temperature controlled cellar. But even then it’s nice to have a wine fridge so people can amble into your kitchen(All Miele equipment with Global knives) and select what bottle they want. At the perfect temperature obviously.

There is nothing more excessive than having a fridge dedicated solely to the pursuit of drinking. It these displays of style that put you a cut above the rest and make you stand out with understated style.

The wine fridges used to be available at Boardmans under the Boardmans name, but I strolled to Boardmans in Claremont, Cape Town, last week and the guy there said they don’t stock them anymore.

So to cut the hassle of finding them, I went to Makro in Ottery and found two there. Granted they are only half the size of mine, but that’s what we are dealing with at the moment. I have the full on alcholic size wine fridge and it holds some 60 bottles, while the ones at Makro only hold 30 bottles. I suppose that will do for most of you though.

Mine never stays full of wine for long anyway as the thought of drinking wine at the temperature the bottle states is a novelty that will never EVER wear off. I usually get it to about ten bottles full and then just knock those bottles down the hatch. But the mere fact that I can store 60 bottles of wine excites me no end. It gives me more joy than you would believe.

As you can see by the photo above, having a 60 bottle wine fridge allows you to pass out in the fridge, looking pasty and pale, without having to actually care! It’s basically a right you are prescribed when taking delivery of the fridge. Is that not too fantastic for words?

Well, last week I found two wine fridges for you, available at Makro in Ottery:

There is a Kelvinator 40 bottle fridge going for R2499(2499 ZAR) and it is very nice, but I preferred the Samsung when looking at in in the store. Click MAKRO to see the Kelvinator.

Personally I would go for the Samsung 30 bottle fridge which was selling for R2999(2999 ZAR) at Makro in Ottery. It is black in colour and looks slick enough to fit neatly into any modern kitchen. Click MAKRO to see that fridge.

Talking of wine…there is a bottle waiting or me right now.

It’s delicious.

Cheers

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I was at some sort of res/digs/frat party/ho down about two weeks ago when naturally the conversation turned to things that your mother would not be proud of. I was chilling inside trying to chat someone up and it was not working at all. And by “chat” I probably mean “ogle” Anyway, realising that I was wasting my precious time, and time is money, I decided to go outside and chat with the boys.

So we’re chatting and chatting and slurring when we get onto the topic of the J&B Met and we start talking horses, booze, money, women etc. Pretty standard guy stuff then.

Anyway we got onto the whole UCT(University of Cape Town) vibe and how crazy the people are. Stellenbosch is crazier, but anyway. So the talk of women and horses and racing all neatly packaged itself into another kind of horse race.

I’m not going to mention any names or even what the horse race is called, but if you know what I’m talking about you will have a smirk on your face. The fact that it has nothing to do with actual “Pocket Power” type horses makes it even more beautiful. And normally with horses you want them to train hard and be fed the best stuff so they become lean racing machines.

However, in this horse race the point is to not train the horses at all, even going out of your way to lift them so they don’t train. Their diets are also pretty inconsistent with dietary norms and may consist of a large amount of junk food. But it will make them happy.

I mean if you take the time to chat to a student you will find out exactly what I am talking about. Some of you may want to know now. I’m not sure if I can divulge that information. But when you hear the story you can only sit and think “Only students can come up with that type of rubbish” The horse race, from what I believe, is a year long event.

It’s not fast at all, the horses are wasted by the end of it and everyone keeps it fairly under wraps. If you are not near student age you won’t know what I am talking about. Don’t worry…I mean it’s not THAT important.

Seriously it’s not.

No really don’t feel left out.

I mean you are not really missing THAT much by not knowing what I am talking about.

I think I should start an online betting site for the other J&B Met.

Good Lord I could make a lot of money.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The main aim of FitFuel is obviously selling low priced supplements online in South Africa, but something else came to my attention when chatting to the Managing Director of Fitfuel SA, Giles Knights.

We were discussing the Fitfuel Healthy Vending Program, and it is almost an oxymoron to say “Healthy vending”, but FitFuel have a unique concept on their hands. The FitFuel Healthy Vending Program is essentially a vending machine with actual benefits in nutritional terms. Junk food is not a part of it and FitFuel find themselves in a unique position here.

Our lifestyles have been based on convenience for so long that when we actually have to wait for something we become frustrated. We need to spend more time working and less time worrying about what we eat and how we prepare it. All of this convenience has been of major detriment to our health but now something good has finally arrived.

The Fitfuel Vending Machine

The FitFuel Healthy Vending Program aims to supply you with healthy snacks and drinks with convenience and speed in mind while still benefitting you nutritionally. The vending machines are available as snack and snack/drink combination machines offering a wide variety of products. This would typically include healthy beverages/protein shakes, popcorn, ostrich biltong, protein bars, dried fruit, trail mixes, wheat free, dairy free and fat free ranges of products.

The choice to have healthy vending machines makes sense for any company that cares for the health of its workers. By eating healthy, quality foods, workers can have better concentration which can lead to increased productivity. Better health means fewer sick days, which once again means better productivity and ultimately healthier and happier employees.

Schools can benefit as well due to learners being more stable in their concentration patterns by avoiding blood sugar spikes and dips caused by traditional junk food, which is generally found in abundance at schools. More stable blood sugar levels can mean better concentration for learners. This can lead to better learning and ultimately better results for the students as they are more likely to learn new information when their concentration is not being swayed by fluctuating blood sugar levels.

In addition to this, it is useful to teach kids the benefits of healthy eating from a young age because this sets up good nutritional habits for their lifetime. So many people battle to kick their junk food addictions when they are older, as they have always known only to eat junk food. Taking a quick read through Patrick Holford’s acclaimed “New Optimum Nutrition Bible” you will see there is an entire section dedicated to healthy eating for kids called “Superkids- Nourishing the Next Generation”

Nutritionists know what healthy eating can do for children, but the children just need to be taught it. It is unfair to feed kids with junk food as they are unaware of the effects it has on their bodies. We need to take responsibility here, as children learn their eating habits from their parents and also from the foods they eat at school.

Generally speaking, vending machines have not been seen as pieces of equipment that blend in with the surrounding decor. In this regard FitFuel can customise the graphics to best suit the surrounding theme and decor which makes it more aesthetically pleasing.

If the wealth of choices and information relating to health products overwhelm you, there is no need to worry. With the FitFuel Healthy Vending Program, each machine comes equipped with information and situational advice from the health professionals at FitFuel.

The pricing of products ranges from R3 – R25 with the mean price at R9,75 based on location which I think is more than reasonable! Best of all, there are no fees or labor involved in FitFuels Healthy Vending Program.
FitFuel have got a unique vending program going here, and it is something that businesses and schools alike should be seriously looking into considering that half of all South Africans are overweight(According to the Medical Research Council) Healthy eating can be implemented anytime in your life but the earlier the better and therefore getting schools involved in these sorts of programs is essential.

There is a wealth of information that I received from Giles regarding the Healthy Vending Program, and if you would like more information than please see below:

For more information online you can visit www.healthyvending.co.za

To order your supplements online please visit www.fitfuel.co.za

If your school, business or any other organisation would be interested in benefiting from FitFuels Healthy Vending Program, then please don’t hesitate to contact Giles Knights at: giles@fitfuel.co.za

Giles will be able to furnish you with all the necessary information regarding the products available and how you can make the FitFuel Healthy Vending Program a part of your organisation.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

On Sunday I was partaking in a spot of cricket watching when once again the boring, dull drone of Gerald De Kock came over the airwaves. Or TV waves, whatever those things are called. I hate to say this because I’m SURE he is NICE. But look at life and you will see that lots of things are NICE. Mrs Doodle down the road is old, but very NICE. A cup of tea is NICE. The weather is NICE.

But nice does not make it exciting! Over and over again I see Gerald De Kock awkwardly sitting in the studio, looking as though he is a Mathlete at a frat party. He seems so out of place that it looks like he has no clue as to what to say. South Africa never ceases to amaze me at their choice of presenters on TV shows. The best crew is from Super Saturday on SuperSport, those boys are a class act. Bo Moseneke was also a class act, but sadly he passed away in 2005.

I can categorically state that Gerald De Kock is THE most boring presenter that this planet has ever seen. I really don’t know what to say about him, but it’s time we get presenters who gel as a team, such as the boys from Top Gear and also the crew on Super Saturday.

Gerald De Kock looks as if his humour was lost somewhere during the great depression.It’s so frustrating writing this because I know we have better presenters, but they continually stick with a man who looks as though he could not organise a piss up in a brewery.

I would try write something funny about his lack of talent and presenting skill, but his delivery of speech on Sunday has literally sucked the humour out of me.

The last time I saw something as tired as Gerald was my cat late last year. It was 19 years old and had kidney failure. It had to be put down.
Now I’m just in a bad mood and I will go swear and kick my front door down.

See Gerald…look what you made me do. I’m charging you for my broken door.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

While I’m at it I might as well give you a link to my latest article.

The small change I earn from writing these types of things goes into a big box that I forget about and when it hits R500 we fast forward the Cane Train parties. We also like to get our haircut for R200, or spend R300 on hair wax.

Sometimes I even hire a little kid who follows me to Llandudno (He walks, I drive) and he stands with a banana leaf, cooling me while I read Esquire and sip on Evian water. No that’s really nasty I did not mean it.

Sort of…

HERE is the link.

Absolutely no worries about that one, you can compliment me on it anytime. Gifts can be forwarded to me, if you are from the cane company you can send those 5 cases of cane please and if you want to give me anything else please don’t hesitate.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The day started off very well for me thank you very much. I posted one or two articles and was sufficiently pleased with myself that I took it upon myself to relax in the garden and wonder what it would have been like to be a caveman.

Then I got a feverish call from The Production Manager Grant, telling me that there appeared to be the start of a fire in the Llandudno area and that I should check it out. I was quite unhappy about this because I had just opened my first beer of the day. Incidentally it was my last as I’m only allowed one drink a day due to some sort of “training schedule” I’m sure it will all make sense once I win the Two Oceans Half Marathon sometime in March or whenever it is.

Earlier in the day I had seen a fire on Hospital Bend which appeared to be well under control. Fires under control are boring as there is no action so I didn’t even bother stopping to high five the fire teams.

There was also this little fire, somewhere in Cape Town. I don’t actually know what the area is called, and I’m not too interested as it is not a place that I am that keen to go to. Please notice the poor photo as I took it while driving. Notice the huge crack in the windscreen in the VR3. VERY safe. It gives the car character though:

So I took the cruise to Llandudno via Hout Bay in the VR3, and was cut short when I hit huge amounts of traffic. I looked ahead and noticed that they had blocked the road and I was tempted to try and get through but it looked like it was going to take the better part of the whole day. I already planned my story I was going to give to the cops and it was going to be that my gran lives in Llandudno and she was nervous about the fires and I needed to pick her up. I could have quietly mentioned the fact that we do have the Llandudno pad, but sometimes the truth is boring. Noticing the traffic was hectic I turned around and headed the other route. I planned to go around via Camps Bay but as soon as I got anywhere near Camps Bay I noticed cars turning around.

It was such a mess! Not actually wanting to mess around I thought I would go home and get my beer before it started to boil from the heat. Then I was hammering home listening to The Travelling Wilburys when I noticed a guy at the interesection near Silwood, near the Rondebosch Common. It appears that he had been knocked off his motorbike by a car. He certainly had the look of a man who had just been hit by a car.

But luckily he was OK, probably just a bit pissed off about the fact that a car had actually hit him. The police handled the situation in their usual diabolical way by sending in about four cars and about 10 policeman. They pretty much blocked the road for all the cars and it was a bit of a nightmare. The dude lying on the ground was sweating profusely as one does after being hit by a car, and then lying in the road in the sun while four people stand around you, just staring. Presumably waiting for something graphic to happen.

But the thing that had me excited was that it appeared that three angels driving a white Toyota Yaris had hit him. These facts could be wrong but this is what I presume. And presuming is fun! Because you can make up dirty stories in your mind.

I would love to have been hit by those girls because they looked so gorgeous. I would have fallen off and then whilst lying on the ground I would have ripped my shirt off revealing my lean torso, like something out of Fight Club. The usual mouth to mouth story would have come spewing out of my mouth, and also the fact that I would have strained my groin.

So yeah it was a pretty standard day then.

But seriously so many fires in one day to tend to have the little man in my head shouting “Arson! Arson! Arson!” I don’t know what has happened with regards to what started these fires but I will be on the case. The day has absolutely wasted me so don’t try call or e-mail.

Unless you are from the cane company that I e-mailed and you are getting back to me about the 5 cases of cane I enquired about for Fridays “Cane Train” party at The Pumpkin Patch. We have had about 5 “Cane Train” parties, but oddly enough no one seems to remember much. Odd…
Seriously don’t try contact me today, it’s hectic here.

I’m just one man! I can’t save the whole world!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Johnny Clegg-Tickets all sold out! 

In news that has saddened me, I went for a roll around the internet to see when Johnny Cleggs concert at the Paul Cluver Forest Amphitheatre was going to be played. Well I found out that it’s being played on the 8th of March 2008.

What did not amuse me was the fact that the tickets are already all sold out! Johnny Clegg is one of my favourite performers and I suppose I should have known that tickets would sell out fast. The Paul Cluver Forest Amphitheatre would almost seem tailor made to the tunes of Johnny Clegg and the people who did get hold of tickets are extremely lucky!

Anyway, such is life! Click PAUL CLUVER FOREST AMPHITHEATRE to be directed to the website to see what other shows you can watch this summer.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I have this thing for Aloe products these days and there seems to be aloe sunscreen, aloe juice, aloe after sun and now aloe lip balm in my collection of stuff that I don’t even know what to do with anymore.

One of the interesting things is that a little company called Simply Aloe seem to be making a lip ice of sorts, which I want to repackage and call “Tit ice” I’m quite fond of aloe and those of you in the know will be informed as to another use for aloe. And that is tequila, that stuff that tastes shit, makes you feel shit and breaks your wallet to shit.

Anyway, this lip balm, lip ice, whatever you will, has an incredibly high SPF of 60. That my friends is as close to having an ozone layer on your lips as you will ever get. It’s pretty much a UV ray destroyer and actually disarms the potential damaging properties of UV rays. It’s actually so strong that it absorbs the suns rays and DESTROYS them, thereby helping to cool the earth by making sure that less rays heat the earth up. Apparently it’s the next big thing to fight global storming.

But that’s for the environmentalists, and I am here to inform those of you living the leisure and pleasure lifestyle of excess. I must say I have a fondness for lips, I really do. Breasts also come to mind on the fondness scale. And I would hate for any of the beautiful young models in Cape Town to burn their lips(Facial) or their breasts. Which is why today I bring you a formula that will save you!

All the girls in Cape Town say thanks to me, because I am here for your health. This lip balm can be purchased at some health stores and I have also seen it at Sportsman’s Warehouse.

SLXS shall call it “Tit Ice”

It’s manufactured by Simply Aloe, is dermatologically approved and comes with a built in ozone layer of SPF 60. The price of it seems to hover at around R27.

And best of all, if you read the instructions, you will realise why I want to market it as “Tit Ice” I will call it exactly that. But for every great brand, you need a payoff line. So this is how you will see it on shelves:

“Tit Ice- Without the nipple stand”

I’m pretty much a marketing genius stuck inside the body of an international man of mystery who stands for the life of Absolut XS, leisure and pleasure. I also happen to be ripped, tanned and toned. What’s not to like?

Anyway, here are the directions for this lip balm, labelled “Sun stick”:

Apply directly to area to be protected: lip, nose, around eyes or breasts.

However, it might protect the co-anchors exquisite breasts from burning, but it will not protect them from the stares of old men when frequenting the beach. They are in awesome nic and need to be protected.

Now your breasts can be protected as well!

I’m kind of like the Al Gore of health. I will not stop at anything to bring you the best in healthcare. So girls…I know you want to tan topless on Clifton and I will let you know that I back you 100%. The co-anchor likes a bit of topless vibes going down and I’m 100% cool with that. Some people say I am ice cool. They would be correct there.

I fear that not as many of you are tanning topless in Cape Town as you should…so to encourage it I encourage you to buy “Tit Ice” and then you don’t have to worry about burning your breasts. For you and me it’s a win-win situation.

I’m sending the co-anchor a case of Tit Ice and then inviting her to the beach.

Wish me luck.

God knows I will need it.

Simply Aloe Sun Stick- SPF 60

Price sits at about R27

Great for lips and breasts

Available at health stores and Sportsman’s Warehouse(I saw it at Tokai in Cape Town)

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I came across Loading Bay after a friend told me about it two weeks after it had opened. Loading Bay is a coffee shop in Hudson Street in Cape Town and it’s unique point is that it is a coffee shop and a place that sells premium brand clothing, much of which you would have never heard of in Cape Town before.

 Loading Bay

It seems everyone the world over is addicted to coffee these days:

Like, my God, I can’t even concentrate at work without my Triple Foaming Machiatofdskjvdkjv Skinny with Wings BRU!

Obviously you are hearing about Loading Bay here at SLXS, I thought I better get onto it before places like GQ do! One of the exciting brands at Loading Bay is Blue Blood. SLXS were particularly intrigued by the Blue Blood range of denim jeans because of the quality and because they were available in a dry finish. This is basically raw denim that has been untreated and you will find that the denim has a bit of a harder finish without any pre-treatment such as sanding and bleaching.

I must be honest it is quite a novel idea to have a crisp pair of denim jeans, instead of the overly worn look we so often see these days.

Dry denim is designed to be worn in and it will take the shape of your body and the wear marks will be a reflection of your lifestyle. From what we heard you are not even supposed to wash them that regularly, but rather just leave them out to air. It sounds dirty but it’s what you have to do!

Raw denim is great because you can wear it to a club yet still wear it with a suit jacket to more formal functions and still look the part. It’s also cool to have a pair of jeans that reflects your life, instead of the work of someone who has sanded your jeans before you have purchased them.

NOT trying to pull a Fabio Blue Steel

Wicked

Sick!

SLXS got these Blue Blood jeans for R1300 which is competitive considering Diesel Jeans at the Diesel Style Lab at the V&A Waterfront are going for about R2000 per pair. It also means you won’t see someone with the same wear patterns on their jeans as on yours because they will wear in to suit your lifestyle.

You can then also say “True Religion, who the hell are True Religion?” when someone tells you that they spent R3000 on a pair of True Religion jeans.

The Loading Bay also stock brands such as Le Coq Sportif, Holland Esquire and Scotch & Soda.

Rad.

The Loading Bay

30 Hudson Street

De Waterkant

Cape Town

South Africa

Go there for coffee and good clothing.

SICK!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I heard about this when God Himself sent me an sms the other day saying “Thank God the Cape Town leg of the Spice Girls tour has been cancelled”

So I have it on some good authority that the cancellation of the Cape Town leg of the Spice Girls tour is legitimate.

I must be honest I was on the verge of chatting to our boys and girls at my travel supplier, Siyabona Africa, to get them to tailor a package called “Spice Girls get out of town safari” Basically what I wanted them to do was tailor a package that would leave on the day the Spice Girls arrived in Cape Town, and arrive back about two days after the Spice Girls left again. This would leave plenty of time for the face powder and overly priced perfume of Posh Spice to dissipate from the Cape Town air.

I’m guessing that they cancelled the Cape Town tour leg because they knew ticket sales would be poor due to the fact that the majority of 9 year old Cape Town girls don’t want to grow up to be like them anymore. Because those would be the only people who would buy the tickets. Nobody wants to actually hook up with Eddie Murphy and no one wants to live on a bag of lettuce a day like Posh Spice. Ok they might want to hook someone like Becks, but I doubt they would only want to eat fortnightly to get someone like Becks.

Can you imagine the ridicule and scorn Cape Town would have received if the Spice Girls had actually toured here? It would be hectically embarrassing.

“So where do you live?”

“Cape Town”

“Ek se woooow! Isn’t that the place the Spice Girls toured?”

“That’s correct”

“Sorry dude, send my condolences to the city that once was Cape Town”

So the death of Cape Town will not in fact be happening and I can’t quite describe my happiness. It almost makes me want to down a bottle of Absolut ans see what happens. You know…just for laughs and a bit of a celebration.

So while this is filed under “Cape Town dates to diarise” there is in fact no date to diarise. Just diarise Cape Town under all the days because it is safe to visit anytime.

The Spice Girls will not be touring Cape Town and for this we say thank you to the baby, littlest, tiny infant Jesus.

It’s safe to say that in your lifetime you will never have to see the Spice Girls singing in Cape Town.

And in that light, I think we all need to thank whoever made this happen.

Thank you.

On a side here, Posh does seem to be eating all the pies recently, as seen below. That is a LOT of junk inside that trunk:

I mean, damn Posh, put down the food. Didn’t you eat last week? Do you know how many starving kids there are in the world? Do you realise that some people survive on a grain of rice a day? Show some consideration.

And lose 5 pounds immediately or get off my website!

You’re so fat.

Sean Lloyd

Editor