It’s no big secret that we all want a bit of Richard Branson spirit in us and we all want to buy an Island such as Necker Island. Necker Island is the dream of every single person on the planet and Richard Branson only paid $180,000 for it back in the day. That’s like pocket change. YOU could have afforded that! Ok it then did cost about $10 million to develop, but who’s counting?

It’s also no big secret that every single person in Cape Town goes to Plettenberg Bay after they finish High School for “Plett Rage” Apparently I went after finishing school but I don’t actually recall the whole trip happening. I just remember being dropped back in Cape Town with no recollection of the previous week and nothing but photos of me horizontal most of the time. Whether these photos were taken in Plett is a mystery to me.

Anyway most kids who go to Plett just want to party and see if what they learned in Biology was actually true. They go there trying their utmost to hook up with everyone.

There is now a new hook up technique which I have discovered and it’s called “R27 million” If you are in a public school and are ripped like Bruce Lee, have the face of Beckham and know how to talk to the opposite sex without flinching, then you are still going to get kicked out of this game.

However, if you look like Shrek, have the body of Rosie ‘O Donnell and are absolutely loaded with cash that you inherited from your parents, and therefore go to a private school, then you win this game.

This game is called “Let’s see if I can hook up with every single available girl in Plett during Plett Rage”

You don’t need to use lame pick up lines and you also don’t need to work out. You don’t need to follow a healthy diet or even get a tan. And you won’t even need to use the “Hook up and shut up technique”

All you need is to tap into your folks trust fund account which has been set up for you. One lazy Saturday afternoon just quietly mention to the folks that you are going to pop past the shops to get some “essentials” Head directly for the bank and just draw some money. “Some” meaning “R27 million” Then take your car and go for a little meander up to Plettenberg Bay. Take a boat or helicopter(Choose the helicopter) ride to Stanley Island and just throw the money down. You now no longer have to worry about life.

Because for most people, life is about money and relationships, even though they would like to believe that their relationship with their other half is not based on money. What are most fights about? Money. Exactly. Oh and guys drinking too much. Having too many boys nights. That also causes its fair share of relationship troubles.

But seeing as though you are already a trust fund baby, the money is sorted. Relationships are not so easy but this is where money helps. Look, I would not say money will buy you true love, but it will go a long way to buying some sort of love.

Lots(Not all) of girls want security. And by “security”, we are talking dinners at The Mount Nelson Hotel, drinks in Camps Bay, handbags from Fendi, cars by Bentley and houses in Camps Bay, Llandudno and Clifton. Not to mention all the other little things. Security could also include private islands and never having to work again in their lives.

You can be this security blanket!

So this little Stanley Island seems to be up for sale according to THIS article for a cool R27 million. But we can all confidently agree that this is something that is not really about the money and it’s not in fact that expensive. I have always believed that you cannot put a price on happiness. And this IS happiness!

Stanley Island. Barton, bring the cheque book please.

Your parents probably told you when you were younger that they don’t care what you do, as long as you are happy. So if you don’t already have R27 million they would not be angry if you became a drug dealer in order to amass an amount of R27 million in your bank account. Happiness is something we all strive for and now YOU can have it.

Stanley Island happens to be the only privately owned island in South Africa. It’s 27,4 hectares HUGE which basically translates into 27,4 hectares of pure therapy. It’s like having a shrink all around you all the time.

Plus there is a 1km long(And 40m wide) grass airstrip which can accommodate aircraft with a weight of less than 5400kgs. So it won’t quite accomodate the Lear Jet but it will be fine. And most of the time you can just use your helicopter anyway.

Shooting out in the boat will also be a nice little way to travel.

You don’t quite understand how little things like this excite me. The mere thought of owning my own island in South Africa has my mind racing like it did when I got my matric results, and after a year of boozing and sitting in the sun, I miraculously passed. The thought of just telling people to come back to your island is also a novelty that will probably never wear off.

You would also need to employ an entire police force on the island though. The FUN POLICE! Police running around with water pistols filled with Jagermeister and Red Bull. Police just checking that everyone is totally abusing the situation of vast wealth and disgusting amounts of fun.

We could go on forever here though, but for the need to know on Stanley Island, then please click STANLEY ISLAND.

And also to motivate you to work harder, or become an entrepreneur, or to just start doing illegal things, click NECKER ISLAND to see what I dream of at night. For my entire life I have only had one dream. And it’s just of me sipping a Pina Colada on Necker Island while a midget fans me with a banana leaf and someone massages my feet. Vigorously.

For more on Necker Island click HERE.

Oh and also THERE.

Let me also just mention that you can rent Necker Island, which can accommodate 28 people, for the paltry sum of about $46000 a day. Spectacular!

Back to work then!

Sean Lloyd

Editor