Right now it’s mayhem here as we try to contact iBob our computer guy to fix the computer, which is like a sinking ship at the moment. It’s absolutely in it’s chops and refuses to turn on. Nice. iBob is surely in the Bahamas as well sipping on a Mojito as he likes to do when he is not freelancing.

Not too much to say here as I am in some seedy internet cafe in Cape Town with people trying to peddle me drugs. Not ideal.

Quick note: Ignite in Camps Bay on a Sunday with Roger Goode and Goldfish. Go there. So many belters you will lose the last piece of your mind. High maintenance as hell so you might need to break out the money club to come right.

Never tried so hard to come right and failed. But Sunday was insane, clearly with the looks I was blessed with, I was out of my league there.

If you are a boy band member you might have a chance.

God knows I didn’t.

I love you all like a precious son, or daughter.

Speak soon.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I have so much to write, and there are a few things I should warn you of that I’m going to be writing:

1) If you are mountain biking in Cape Town, expect a review on the best helmet in the world and the worst cycling gloves in the world.

2) The wine fridge you have to own

3)Another article I’m writing but might just send it to another website for publishing in order to gain an even tighter hold of the writing world and further the SLXS dominance of the marketplace.

4)I’m sure I will be writing on the J&B Met which is on the 26th of January at Kenilworth race course.

5) Forecasting the Cape Town sunglasses trend

6) Why leisure is NOT bad for you

But right now I’m just not coping with having to do all of this. But surely you must understand the predicament I am in. There is cricket at Newlands in Cape Town at the moment and I think I’m supposed to be there catching up on some leisure time. But I’m not there. I’m busy test driving the Macbook Pro(Sick!) and it’s crazy how little I know about the thing. I’m playing around with the photo booth on it, I’m like a kid in a candy shop. I might write on the Macbook Pro once I get a hold of all the programs.

The reason I’m so lazy is because I have been spending obscene amounts of time savouring the Cape Town leisure lifestyle of sunshine and ocean. And a bit of Table Mountain thrown in for added effect. My hair looks “sun kissed” as the beauty editors at Cosmopolitan would say. In fact my hair looks like a sexual revolution at the moment. You might want to call me The Artist Formerly Known as SLXS. Paying homage to Prince, the only man who looks like a woman but pulls more women than any man(What does the difference in spelling actually mean in women and woman? Should have studied harder at writing school. Oops)

Let’s update you on the current view, the reason why I battle to do anything today:

 My feet: The foundations on which sexual fantasies are built

As you can so clearly see, it’s quite difficult right now. I can just imagine how hot an office in town would get when Eskom breaks down and the air conditioners stop working. Shame. The sea breeze here cools me which is glorious.

I would actually go to the beach, but as you can see, it’s far away. It’s at least a 5 minute walk which is out of the question right now.

Needless to say though, if I do go to the beach now, I WILL come right.

Fragrances this expensive are not expensive for no reason. They are expensive because they help you come right. Imagine if everyone was wearing this? It would be mayhem as all the bratty teenagers steal money to buy them, and then steal my glory by pulling into models right in front of me.

The implications of that are too dire to even think about.

I think I need to invest in a butler. The fridge seems light years away right now. Or I could just pull out the Savanna Chill Pack and relax. Or chillax, whatever I feel like really.

I think -this- is me needing to leave. Are you in Cape Town right now, or are you in LA reading this wishing you were here? If you are in Cape Town have you heard that noise around Llandudno, Camps Bay and Clifton.

It’s the beach. It’s crying, weeping and sobbing, even though those may all be the same thing. It’s choking on tears because something is wrong. No it’s not global warming. The beach wants me on it. It’s shouting, through a hoarse throat:

“sean, Sean, SEan SEAn, SEAN!”

Yes beach?  I hear you. Don’t worry my little one, I will come grace you with my presence right now!

At that I threw on my boardshorts and sandals and took the walk to the beach.

The end

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Whenever entering a new area, it is probably best that you find out a little bit about the place before you go there. Misverstand is no different, but being from Cape Town, we knew what the vibe was there. I knew that other than the rich kids from Constantia who come to sink their parents boats, there would be no real English speaking people. I was bracing myself for the normal Afrikaans/ English mix where the language goes like this:

Ja pa, I are like to be wearing a jean pant. WIF a belt nogal. Hoor!

I took Afrikaans in High School( Hoer Skool, put those two little dots on the “e”) and so I understand(Ken) a bit of the language if it is spoken basically and very slowly. Unfortunately in Misverstand this is not the case. It’s brandewyn and Coke swilling, crop talking jean pant wearing people in that area. I feel alright talking about the language barriers like this, because our very own Charlie V is Afrikaans! Well not really anymore, but he used to only speak Afrikaans. Now he is a Cape Town party animal, and English comes naturally to him. And a bit of Spanish for some or other reason. He speaks a bit of Japanese as well after Jager bombs.

So on the first night there we decided to hit up the bar at Misverstand, where we found four or five guys drinking brandy and Coke and chatting about something or other that made no sense to me.

Charlie V dug deep down to retrieve his Afrikaans dictionary and translated parts of the conversation. It turns out the guys were talking about crop spraying. They were debating whether it is more effective to spray crops by air or by tractor(Trakker) Obviously, when spraying by air, you don’t lose any crop because you don’t need to leave space for the tractor to get between them and spray. Doing it by tractor seems cheaper, but by air you don’t lose any crops and you need to factor this in as well. Makes sense I suppose.

Looking at these guys they seemed pretty tough from days spent on the farm, and their jeans were not bought with the worn in look. That look came from spending tine on the Massey Ferguson and out in the blazing heat tending to crops.

Not wanting to seem out of place, I decided to keep my drink order in line with the norms at Misverstand. All three of us went for the classic brandy and coke, just to let the regulars know that that’s what we drink, all the time! They would be shocked to know that just before arriving I had been drinking Savannah. Out of the CHILL PACK! And putting cream on my face! And shaving my…right. It’s SO feminine! I can just imagine what they would have said:

Jy drink soos a meisie!

So to avoid that we went with the brandy. It made us more low key. You know…so that we could try blend in with the crowd. The “crowd” being all eight of us. I suspect they didn’t know we are from the city…other than the fact that I was wearing my Diesel watch and Woolworths T-shirt coupled with my Havaiana sandals. And the Oakleys. And the fact that my skin was baby smooth from all the expensive cream I had been putting on.

Ja, no well fine, I’m sure they did not suspect a thing!

I don’t really recall saying a word at the bar that night, afraid that my Queens English might offend. For some bizarre reason the barman was English, and seemed to speak no Afrikaans really. I know this because he sounded foreign, like Australian or something. And I saw him the next day and asked how things were going and he said “Ah just another day trying to understand Afrikaans!”

Charlie V in the meantime, sitting in my silence, picked up a magazine on the bar and it also had to do with crops like wheat or something. Interesting…

Obviously the heat was something to contend with the entire time we were there and so we tried to get the air conditioner working but it seemed that the aircon was also a bit Afrikaans. Or a lot. It actually can’t count as an air conditioner. More of a humidifier that makes you feel sweaty and dirty.

Ja ma!

For those of you who can’t read that, it says, and enjoy this “Attention. Here is only for ice cube. No water from here”

ENGLISH! A stack!

Even Charlie V(Afrikaans) was laughing at that one. It was such great language up there. We also noticed that all the places around were not too English sounding. For example “Moorreesburg” and “Koringberg”

If you ever plan on going into that area (Don’t, the heat will probably kill you) then make sure that you brush up on the taal. And even of you don’t, it’s just a good laugh seeing all that stuff and interacting with the people, even if “interacting” means just sitting listening to their conversations.

Misverstand is one of those places that when you are up there you are thinking “It’s so damn hot! No one speaks English!” but when you get back to the city, you realise that it was one of the biggest laughs of your life.

I think in the next part of this I should post some photos, they are rad. That’s right. Rad. When last dod you hear the word “rad” I took it from Jerry D and quite enjoy using it again. The last time I used it was when I was a little surfer girl who smoked weed.

Sorry, did I just type that out loud?

Sean Lloyd

Editor

And so we find ourselves another year into the journey…The second year of SLXS! We always like to have a little party when a party is deserved, and ending off another year of absolute leisure we decided that we would visit a friend in town to cap the year off.

Obviously it was your pretty standard new years party for us. A gathering of friends. A drink or two. Some laughing. And then of course some late night streaking. Here is some other “standard” stuff that happened for SLXS:

I think I should make it clear that if you want to eat a good pizza, the only way to do it is to make it yourself. That way you can buy the ingredients at Woolworths and make sure that you don’t get all the cheap, bulk bought, MSG loaded ingredients that your local pizza outlet might load your food with. But you can’t just go and cook it in the oven. An electric oven will never give the same taste as the classic wood fired oven. Wood fired is the only way to eat pizza.

And so we found ourselves in the company of a wood fired oven and a master pizza baker himself! Thanks Grant. I don’t want to exaggerate here, but when I tell you that it was the best pizza I have ever tasted in my life, I really mean it. It took about two hours to warm the oven up, but who cares? I mean it’s not like we REALLY have anything else to do, do we? It’s the special touches that make life so great. Like having your own pizza oven, which I am yet to acquire. I have acquired a wine fridge though, which keeps my wine at the perfect temperature. Go get one. I will actually find out the details for you and post it here soon.

Naturally the pizza led to one or two drinks. Naturally some people got bored of drinking out of a “glass” as it is something that is done every day and can get boring. So they mixed it up a little bit.

 Gold tequila. All tastes like diesel anyway

Obviously once the drinks had begun to flow the shindig got a little bit out of control and some people were MIA. This led to jumping in the pool with half their clothes on. But the worst thing was walking back inside and having someone accidentally kick a cat litter basket from the second floor, all the way down to the first and have it strewn all over the carpet. Not pleasant. Not a good start to the new year.

Clean 

And then the night got a bit tame and with all the drinks we decided to bag it.

Chilling

That was it really.

I’m quite excited about 2008 and there are a couple of things I should mention but I will keep them for a later date. I’m just a bit lazy today. A week in the sun at the sea house by yourself might do that to you.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I was just watching this Justin Timberlake show on M-Net(1 December 2008) and a Red Bull advert came on at approximately 20:40, showing an astronaut coming out of the shuttle and then flying away obviously because he has had a Red Bull which gives you wings. Anyway the advert goes on to show two American astronauts, and you can see their shadows on the surface of the moon.

However, they have a flag with them, and when they put the flag down it shows no shadow, if I viewed the advert correctly.

Could this be in reference to the fact that some people think that man landing on the moon was a hoax? There are stories of the astronauts not producing shadows and the fact that the flag should not flutter on the moon. Click HERE to read more on that.

It’s an interesting observation though and I wonder if the advert was deliberately made like that? Mmmmm…interesting.

Sean Lloyd

Editor