I was just, at my leisure, perusing the Cape Times and from what I read, your last chance to visit Robben Island this year will be on the 12th of December. So if you want to go then you must book for the 12th of December. I would go but I’m not sure if I can get the hovercraft ready and the chopper does not have it’s water wings. Sigh…

To those of you unaware, Robben Island is that place where Nelson Mandela owned a SICK apartment for a while. Obviously this was until Mike Pearson lifted the island up, Lewis Pugh swam underneath it and dug the foundations out and it all went sinking into the ocean.

Mike Pearson lifting up Robben Island

 It would still make a pretty sick place to party, and reminds me of the piece I’m writing on how to turn Robben Island into a big money spinner. Clothing optional.

So that’s the important story for today.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I found a flyer just chilling in the VR3, amongst various other important documents that constantly find themselves entering my life. It said “Nokia Trends Lab” and I never really took notice of it until RIGHT NOW. I was cleaning out the beast that I drive and read the back of it, and it seems pretty cool.

Basically, you buy a ticket for R120, and you get all this stuff going down in your life:

Acts such as Dirty Skirts, Louise Carver and Roger Goode(Oh no, not the Rog!) will be playing.

In addition to this, you:

Meet the artists

Co-create the event

Be a part of the Love Jones video launch

Be in Dirty Skirts music video shoot on the night

Meet Louise Carver and get her to take your photo

Meet Union of Knives, cutting egde fresh from the UK and interview them on the night.

Ok well that’s what the flyer says and I cannot confirm that this event will be as cool as it sounds as I have never heard of anything like this in my eventful life. BUT…it does sound good!

So check it out HERE

It’s taking place tonight, the 7th of December 2007 at The Arena, Grand West Casino.

I can’t believe it’s Friday, where did the week chill to?

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Quiz nights seem to be a big thing these days as the people of Cape Town not only like to break a physical sweat, but a mental sweat as well. I’m not so fond of the mental sweat, but quiz nights are good fun.

Even if just to see how bad your general knowledge is. Like mine, which seems to be terrible.

I don’t think it’s necessary to mention this, but I will. Anyone in the know will realise that Neighbourhood is now referred to as “The Hood” It’s just the way it is.

So tonight their quiz night is on like Donkey Kong. It happens every second week so don’t expect to roll in there next week for a quiz because it’s not happening! If you want to get your quiz on, go tonight!

And expect some seriously laid back vibes, some really good looking people, good food, the nachos are the hot ticket, and if you are lucky…some late night streaking.

Neighbourhood

163 Long Street

Cape Town

South Africa

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

You know what time it is? No, not Millers time. It is however, nearly SAA Open time! Yes that’s correct. It runs from the 13th until the 16th of December 2007 and we are making a move to pull through there to see our boys absolutely punishing that little dimpled piece of whatever a golf ball is made of. Anyway, SLXS received this press release, and although it is dated the 4th of December 2007, it is still relevant. Do you think I would post something if it was not relevant to you. Exactly! Here is what we received:

Cape Town, 4 December 2007; In two weeks time Trevor Immelman will return to a South African Airways Open championship that, even amidst his recent Nedbank Golf Challenge victory, still holds the fondest golfing memories for him.

After winning the $1.2 million cheque at Sun City on Sunday, Immelman said that while beating 11 of the world’s best golfers was indeed a highlight of his career, winning two South African Airways Open titles was equally special.

Immelman won back to back South African Airways Open titles in 2003 and 2004 at Erinvale in the Cape. That made him the first golfer since Gary Player in 1976/77, and the seventh in the history of the championship to successfully defend his title.

And Immelman said after his recent triumph at Sun City that, after taking a few days off, he will be back preparing for a third South African Airways Open title from 13-16 December.

“The South African Airways Open is a tournament that’s very dear to my heart. It’s also being played at Pearl Valley, which is one of my home courses. I want to get ready for that and play some good golf that week,” said Immelman.

“I’ve always ranked my two South African Airways Open titles really highly because it’s the second oldest tournament in the world, and because I won them down in the Cape where I’m from, which is such a special feeling”

But there is no doubt that winning the Nedbank Golf Challenge will go down as one of the highlights of his career.

“To come back home and and win in front of so many South Africans that are behind you is very special. It’s great to give back. I’ve been fortunate to receive so much help and support and well wishes from South Africans since I was 5 or 6 years old and achieving small things in golf. So to play some good golf and give something back to the local galleries makes me really happy.”

This years South African Airways Open field will be one of the strongest in the history of the championship.

Ernie Els will defend his title and says he wants to end 2007 with a win on home soil.

“I want to end my 2007 season on a high note. I would love to get a win on South African soil. I’ve got six weeks off after the South African Airways Open and that will be my break. So I feel like I still want to get some more out of this year.”

Another victory for Els would also take him a step closer to achieving his three-year goal of becoming the world number one again.

“I feel I’ve made some improvements. I’ve got new equipment and I feel my equipment has come a long way. The swing is pretty sound now. I had some chances in a few Majors. I just need to keep working and improving on my putting, especially under pressure. Tiger(Woods) has got an edge on me on the greens”

“But I’ve got two years left of my promise. Obviously I’ve got to win tournaments, and big ones, and keep moving up the world rankings.”

Retief Goosen, Tim Clark, Greg Norman, Darren Clarke and Charl Schwartzel add to the impressive field.

Tickets for the South African Airways Open are available at Computicket( Click HERE to book) or for more details about this event, visit www.saaopen.com

END

So there we go. All the scoop on this prestigious event. BOOM!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Look, if I ran the city police this is EXACTLY how they would roll.

I would kit them out with Hummers, jacuzzi’s at the police station and they would have parties that would make P Diddys look like a mathlete party.

Click HERE to see what how the SLXS police would cruise.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I must be honest, in all the excess of SLXS, I have never been too interested in wearing suits and dressing smart. It does not really suit(Enjoy it) my style of absolute leisure and pleasure. I cruise in shorts, T-shirts and generally I wear a more approachable vibe.

I love nothing more than a fine quality T-shirt, and find myself in the company of a couple of Levi’s T-shirts as I speak. I have four at the moment and they are great. Their price is around R220 each, and the quality is awesome and the fit is perfect for me. Also, the designs seem to be done in small quantities, and I never ever see anyone else wearing the same Levi T-shirts as me which is a good thing. Normally I see a Levi T-shirt I like, I then buy it and two or so weeks later they are all sold out and they don’t make that design again.

Yes yes yes yes

The T-shirts are 100% cotton which keep you nice and cool and the fabric is a nice thickness. Some shirts are really nice looking, and you feel like Brad Pitt whilst wearing them. But hit the summer sun and you feel like an arm pit with the amount of sweat pouring off of you.

So I’m just letting you know that you should keep an eye on Levi’s stores for good T-shirts, at competitive prices, with a good fit and a rock star look.

My most rock star one is the T-shirt on the top left with the skull on it. The skull wears a cowboy hat and there are some sort of an eagles wings coming out of it. Obviously eagles have a sort of American vibe to them.

Which means I need to tell you this. Usually before a night out when I wear this T-shirt, I like to work with leather, making belts and stuff.

The native Americans always said that working with hides and pelts releases the soul.

How correct they are. How correct they are…

So visit Levi’s at one of the stores I normally do in Cape Town.

Namely:

Levi’s Canal Walk

Levi’s Cavendish Square in Claremont

Levi’s at the Victoria and Alfred Waterfront

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I have always been interested in what it is exactly that goes through a models mind when they give that “1000 mile” stare. You know, the stare where it looks as if they are staring into the horizon as though some ship is far in the distance and they are trying to read the name of it.

Models are interesting people because they make ridiculous amounts of money for chilling while people take photos of them. Obviously they will always make their lifestyle seem to be tough. “Money can’t buy happiness” Rubbish! Money cannot technically buy happiness as in you can’t walk into a shop and buy a can of happiness. But you can buy a house in Constantia, a Bentley and an X-Box. Can you spell HAPPINESS?

Off the topic though. So in my quest to understand Cape Town better, I went deep inside my own mind(I’m very deep). You see, Cape Town is where all the models are and all the modelling agencies. It’s basically full of good looking people, and the modelling industry is one of the reasons why beach side restaurants and beaches are full in summer, way before businesses have gone on leave. These places are full of models, chilling in their downtime, waiting for the next call up to earn R25000 for a days work.

I dug deep to find out what goes through a models mind and how exactly they conquer the “1000 mile” stare. I think I did well.

So what I found out was the following:

To conquer a models look you need to focus on an inanimate object. I took the trouble of going out and buying a can of PEPSI, because I think David Beckham is cool, and I liked his ads for Pepsi. I then held up the Pepsi can and looked at it as though it was something that was so interesting that it was troubling my mind. As though I was trying to figure out what was making the can tick!Are you with me? Try and understand this because it’s vitally important. I mean obviously I’m NOT posing here. But it’s for a deeper reason, for the good of SLXS and the journey we are embarking on

“WHY can I NOT understand the can!”

I stared at the can as though it held the answers to all the world problems. I stared even more. I wanted to cut through the can with my icy stare. I wanted to get inside the cans mind. I wanted to know exactly what it was thinking. Just as I got to the point where I felt our chemistry was explosive and that we might cause a planetary shift, I took out the camera and took a photo.

On the surface the photo looks regular, like I just stared at a can. But you DON’T understand how difficult it is to get that look. You clearly don’t understand what a model goes through. Their lives are EXTREMELY difficult, and had I been a model, that stare would have earned me some good cash!

I would have then said in interviews that models are deeper than they are perceived to be and that they work very hard. I would have absolutely milked the interview! Throw in a story of a troubled childhood riddled with drug abuse, and Armani and Gucci would be signing me up on the spot…

Could it get any easier?

Look this is obviously all hypothetical, but I think it has some ground and could work.

I’m so crazy at the moment you have no idea!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The first time I ever went for a mountain bike ride was some eight years ago, and I HATED it. It was probably due to the fact that I was so unfit, and someone decided when I was born that I would get skinny legs. Great, chicks dig it.

NOT!

I’m not worried though because I still win.

Anyway, I started to really love mountain biking(My first true love…weep weep) and was soon waking up at ridiculous times to go to events out in Paarl to punish my body in the summer heat. I then found myself getting more into the sport and pretty soon I was taking trips up to Oudsthoorn and Knysna to ride in events such as the Karoo to Coast and To Hell and Back classics.Yes…it’s true…I am a machine.

And still…the more I rode…the skinnier my arms became, and my legs stayed the same. So cycling has actually cost me. But do I care? I can’t say I do really, because there is no feeling like carving up a single track, millimetres away from clipping your pedals on rocks and crashing. That feel of pain as you see sweat pouring off your face and hitting your bike, misting up your sunglasses and the crazy tans you get from spending 6 hours on a bike in the African sun.

Spending time with other people on the verge of physical breakdown is actually good for you and I quite enjoy it! When you are out on a ride, miles from anywhere, and you start running out of water, you freak out a bit. Trust me. I rode the Karoo to Coast mountain bike race a few years back with my brother, and for some reason we forgot to pack food. One hundred kilometres of pure debauchery and we had no food!

I still remember getting to one of the last water stops on the route, and the people there had two biscuits left, which myself and my brother ate. Food has never tasted so good in our lives! That was the worst ride of my life, as the hungrier I became, the more I thought of the good food that would be at the finish of the ride. But it’s good to push yourself to limits like that, because it just feels so damn good coming out of situations like that and chilling afterwards around the braai with a cold brewski. It’s TOO good.

Anyway, Tokai is one of the more famous Cape Town mountain biking routes, and lately it is looking a little bare because they are removing all the pine trees, but it’s still a good ride. You start down at the parking area by the Arboretum(No idea what that actually means) and you basically just cycle up and up and up and up…eventually hitting a tar road where you can climb some more. Once at the top, you will be up with the radio mast there, giving you one of the most beautiful views of the city. Alternatively, there is another route that takes you up to Silvermine, and from there you do the Silvermine route which is some good riding.

Having a quick look in my cycling logbook, the Tokai Silvermine route that takes you to the mast, would take me 1hr40min, which included the ride back down from the top and this ride is approximately 20 kilometres according to my Sigma Sport cycling computer. The ride to Silvermine, which included the Silvermine loop of about 10km, would usually take me on average about 2 hours and is 30 kilometres long. It’s definitely a better route as there are more flat sections, instead of just doing a solid climb up to the mast.

It’s essential when mountain biking to ride with a partner/s for safety reasons. Also make sue you pack all the equipment to do any minor repairs on the trail, take a cellphone and some warmer clothes in case the weather changes. And always ride to within your skill level, because crashing in the mountain is not fun! And obviously wear a helmet. I will show you a good one in the next post.

To get to Tokai, click HERE for a good map. When you are going past Steenberg golf estate, you will pass a picnic area on your right hand side. You need to stop at the hut there to buy a permit to ride in the area, which is R10 a day(When last I checked). You can also find out there how to buy your Wild Card, which you buy and then get a years entrance to the mountain and you can visit it as often as you like to cycle. I have a Wild Card, which is definitely the way to go if you cycle regularly. Also, on the map, instead of taking a right at the Manor House to get to the market, you will take a left, and from there you will find yourself in the parking lot.

Have fun out there, I might just spot you on the trails.

Oh and did I mention the views? I don’t think I did! One of my reasons for taking my exercise outdoors, instead of sitting in a gym, is because of the natural beauty of Cape Town. Once you have hit the Tokai trails, the gym might seem…well…a little dull. Enjoy the followong photos, it’s what you can expect on a 30km ride in the Tokai and Silvermine area. There is no better way to have fun, enjoy nature and get fit and healthy.

It’ just another way we constantly live the dream in Cape Town.

I took this on a morning ride at about 6:30am

Looking over Hout Bay from the road leading up to the mast

Looking over the Noordhoek beach from the Silvermine trail

A dam with the mast in the background, taken form the Silvermine trail

Sean Lloyd

Editor

It seems that our local Idols contestants have absolutely no chance of making it on the world stage. To do that they would need to travel and that’s not at all possible. I just got an sms telling me that the current season of Idols is sponsored by Nationwide Airlines. As we all know, they are in a spot of bother, what with not being allowed to fly and engines falling off(Click HERE for the engine falling off article). I don’t have a picture of the plane without the engine, so I quickly made use of Photocafe and present to you a fairly accurate image of what their planes might look like:

Nationwide Airlines. At least passengers can’t complain about the service, because there is none.

So it turns out that our Idols will be chilling in South Africa for a while.

You know, just until Nationwide sort out some safety issues. Like the loss of engines, of which there are only two on a plane. A 50% loss in engines is quite severe to me. But it’s to be expected. A little page through the Google application on the internet machine brings us to THIS interesting page, which shows that Nationwide only get three stars as an airline. Furthermore, they also only receive three stars for cabin safety procedures.

I mean what did you expect when they only receive three stars? Do you HONESTLY expect to arrive with two engines intact? Ha ha you must be mad! You could fly Virgin Atlantic, but that would be boring. Hot cabin staff, beds the size of cricket fields and no in flight horror because the planes are safe. Where is the fun in that?

And if you click the Virgin Atlantic link above, please enjoy how the site says “Hello gorgeous” I love it already.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Today I find myself on a little excursion to wine country, Stellenbosch. Or “The Bosch” as people like to call it(Afrikaans people like to draw out the “sch” in “Bosch” They say it like “Stellen-boshhhhhhhhhhh” Odd) In fact I think more cane is actually consumed in Stellenbosch than wine due to the number of broke students who inhabit this place. It is quite well known that no one actually passes their first year at Stellenbosch university due to the fact that booze is aplenty and sex even more so.

That is why many intelligent people come out of Stellenbosch. Because in their first year(Some people have three of four “First years”) they consume so much alcohol and have so much sex, that when they escape, they have tired of these finer things in life. And so they can devote all their time to being functioning members of society. There are also those students who drink so much that they actually get no sex. This leads to other problems as they find themselves drinking more and studying less because they are depressed that they don’t get as much action as the other students.

Their parents then stop funding their studies because they see they are wasting their money and this depresses these students even more. Unable to comprehend the point of life, they crack. Their brains are dark and gloomy but South Africa is sunny and this is a contradiction to their twisted minds. They then seek out a place like their minds and settle in London where they live in squalor, surviving by doing medical trials. These are the lost ones. But generally Stellenbosch produces clever people.

I know what you are thinking, you cannot tire of sex. But seriously, Stellenbosch absolutely finishes you and afterwards you look for a meaningful relationship, which is not quite as easy to find.

So this story is losing the plot but I meant to tell you something. I will not be in today as I’m helping Jerry move into his new pad. “Casa del Ron Jeremy” is what it shall be called. Stellenbosch is wine country but Jerry has decided that today we shall be drinking beer, which is fine with me. Seriously I’m cool with that.

Jerry has also told me that he has something I will love. It’s not a person, but rather an object. There is no doubt that I will love it as these days I find myself loving inanimate objects, seeing as though nothing loves me. I find myself loving chair, lamp, Bing Bong on my key chain and now a pair of sandals. So basically these sandals he bought have a little tank in the heels where you can store booze. As he said in an sms yesterday:

“Ja, now we can sneak booze into the rugby stadium”

Sneaky Jerry, sneaky! Look I’m all for loving these sandals, even just for the sake of actually loving them. So that’s where I’m at right now.

You know what? I have been lying, making this article sound as if I wrote it now this morning. In fact as I sit here it’s Sunday evening, but I’m being sneaky and changing the date because I won’t have time to write in the morning.

I feel bad for trying to trick you. Sundays are just boring though, can you actually handle them? I did a two hour hike on Table Mountain with Mike this morning, but that was all the activity for the day.

Currently I’m chilling by myself writing this and it’s quite lonesome tonight. I wish you could just hold me. Seriously that’s all I want. You can even just be near me so I don’t feel lonely. I think lonely is a writers thing, and that’s why many of them crash and burn. The long hours spent conceptualising, the hours spent with nothing but their own thoughts. Night is a dark time for writers. Not physically dark because it’s a dark time for everyone in respect of the amount of light visible. But you know what I’m talking about.

Sundays are so lonely. I don’t even know how late it is. OK the clock says 11:23pm. I will probably stay up a few more hours and watch some DVD’s or something. It’s not like I have anything else to do. Except sleep of course.

Sundays are SO emotional!

I will see you tomorrow.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

There have been people who have said that Facebook is stupid and that it is just a phase people are going through. Funny enough these people who say this no doubt have Facebook accounts themselves. I find Facebook useful in contacting people and also for keeping updated on the lists of events and birthday parties and various other things that happen in this thing we call “life”

But if I wanted to play games on the internet, I would specifically search for “Games on the internet” Contrary to popular belief, I don’t want to be bitten by a zombie, I don’t want to be attacked by a werewolf and I don’t want a virtual kiss. If I wanted to kiss you, I would have already done so. Look, if I wanted to interact virtually with people, I would not have been born on this thing called planet earth. I would have rather told my parents that I wanted to be born into Sim City. If I wanted everything to be virtual, from conversations, to kisses and drinks, I would rather not live.

I have said this before, but when you have 25 applications on your Facebook page I will not look at it, and I probably won’t bother sending you messages because it wastes my time and my internet. I don’t want to read that stupid magic eight ball or those stupid Horoscopes. If I wanted a fortune cookie, trust me, I would have ordered one the last time I was at that Chinese restaurant. And I promise you, if I wanted a bumper sticker, I would have one on my car. Because it’s a “bumper” sticker, it should be on a car anyway, not on Facebook.

I also don’t want to play “Puff puff pass” If I wanted to smoke weed, I would not “virtually” smoke it. You must be high if you think I care about all these applications.

And for the love of Jack Daniels, I do not want an egg that hatches. Do I look like a cat, waiting to see if a chicken hatches out the egg so I can attack it? I mean honestly, do you see me eating mice? Am I drinking milk out of a saucer? EXACTLY!

It’s just that, you know, if you actually go out into the real world there is some fun stuff happening. I promise you, there are real life things that are very interesting. Like people for instance. There are real people out there who actually do interesting things, and probably drink real drinks, have real emotions, give real kisses and outgrew their fear of zombies and werewolves when they were younger.

You know…I’m just saying.

But you don’t have to listen to me. Listen to the magic eight ball and see if this article is true or false.

Apparently it’s quite accurate.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

We were sent a few bottles(OK it was actually a case) of wine from our wine connections to taste test this week and found ourselves in the company of a bottle of sparkling wine, a bottle of “Thandi Pinot Noir 2005″(Click HERE for the website) and a bottle of “Kumkani Lanner Hill Sauvignon Blanc 2007″ on Friday. The rest can wait for another day.

Now I’m not a wine taster like Neil Pendock or even that guy…um…John Platter I think. Therefore I won’t tell you that I can smell cut grass in the wine and taste the hints of black pepper and rosemary.

I might like to tell you though that the wine was extremely enjoyable! We knocked it back on Friday afternoon, which was a glorious day in Cape Town. The garden was a good place to enjoy this wine, while we lit a fire and actually cooked nothing(Sorry global storming). It was quite relaxing chilling in the sun with a nice bottle of wine and just seeing where the day took us. As day turned into night we found ourselves opening the Thandi and enjoying it. Throwing a bit of Blades of Glory into the DVD player the scene was set for a chilled Friday night.

And in honour of Blades of Glory, we decided to take a picture to pay homage to Chazz Michael Michaels, or “Sex on ice” as he is known. In tribute to his book of poetry “I want to put my poems in you”, we set up a similiar style of picture to Chazz, where he is doing that very Ron Jeremy pose on the beach. Charlie re-creates the same vibe here, in a garden, with a lot of free wine. Enjoy:

Nothing like free gifts to set summer alight

Myself and Charlie V were forced to drink it by ourselves, even though the word had been sent out to other people to come and enjoy the free goods. Not that I really wanted to share it anyway, so things did work out alright. I will share lots of things in life but when we are given a task of drinking a bottle or a case of something, it needs to be done in a small group, with absolute silence that can only be broken by The Beach Boys(Because it’s summer) blasting over the amplifier and giving the neighbours some music that was made in the days when they were about 90 years old. Damn…I wonder how old they are now?

Later on in the evening an unexpected guest arrived and decided that chicken burgers were needed to be purchased at Barcellos. Being the nice guy I am I went out and bought her the burgers while she slept like a little infant child. It’s a pleasure daa-ling, anytime.

As the evening drew on and we felt that life was getting more meaningful and gaining even more depth, we threw on a bit of the Entourage series and cracked open the Moet & Chandon. It was so good. SO, SO good. It brought new meaning to this life of complete excess.

Oh yes

When are we getting sent some more stuff? It was so good.Once it hits your lips!

Right now, I know it’s a Saturday and I’m by myself, but to celebrate the true life of excess in Cape Town I have opened another bottle of white. It’s just that I need to set the scene for the week ahead and besides, I have done so much exercise that I feel a few glasses of wine are quite needed.

I don’t know what you are doing, but I’m having a great time. Even Chris de Burgh is here. Well in song anyway.

Ahhh the dogs are playing so nicely on the lawn, the birds are fluttering about in the bird bath and I can feel the sun beating down on this temple of mine.

Slamming a bit of the 80′s DMX music channel on later and I don’t think it can get any better. Well I suppose it could. I suppose the co-anchor could try and organise us some more of these finer things in life. Unfortunately for her she cannot work today because she has some sort of sushi/cosmopolitan/handbag choosing thing going on. Actually I just made that up, but it’s probably true.

Charlie V finds himself up in Port Alfred for something that has to do with rowing. I’m just not sure anymore. So alas, it is I that has to hold down the fort here. And it’s quite a big fort here. I better go and open up my e-mail and check if any power e-mails have been sent in from various world leaders, hell bent on overthrowing the SLXS empire.

Look, this is quite a decent atmosphere outside, and the computer is ruining it because it’s hot. So I’m signing out. For now.

Cheers

Cue to raise your glass…

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Thanks officer…Farva! 

It was a warm summers evening, a light breeze had blown the lions mane slightly out of shape.

He sat on the pavement, watching, waiting, experiencing different things. He emptied the last of his water bottle into his parched mouth and said to Chazz

“You think I can get this in the bin from here?”

“I dunno”

“Well now this is happening” He said as he wound his left arm up, and pounded the bottle at the bin. It missed, hitting the shop window. He quickly jumped up, and put it back in the bin. Nothing wrong with that.

6 minutes later…

“Excuse me gentleman, people have told me that you are throwing bottles at the shop window?”

He stood up. “Excuse me?”

“The lady in the shop said you have been throwing bottles at the window”

“No she is mistaken, I accidentally hit the window”

“Alright then, are you drunk?”

“Do I look drunk?”

“No”

“So why did you ask?”

“Standard procedure, are you being cocky with me?”

“No, standard procedure, are you being cocky with me?”

“Listen here, do you want to be locked up?”

“No that’s a stupid question, why would I want to be locked up?”

“I’ll arrest you, you watch yourself”

“I watch myself in the mirror all the time, you can’t arrest me”

“Yes I can”

“Only if I do something wrong”

“I will arrest you for being drunk in public”

“I’m not drunk I have already told you. I have a bike ride to hammer tomorrow I can’t drink. But what I can do is arrest you. For committing a crime of fashion with that blue shirt”

“You are skating on thin ice”

“Well I guess I should have bought my skates then.”

“Watch yourself”

“I already do”

“I’m keeping an eye on you, is that clear?”

“Crystal”

“You think you funny?”

“Yes”

Can you actually handle that? Thought not. It was quite a strange moment.

I win.

Sean Lloyd

Editor