0 Comments Wadda Monday

It turns out I was invited to Wadda last night, and after initially not wanting to do it, I ended up going through at about 11pm. Or sometime around then. I wasn’t expecting too much in the way of a great night which worked in my favour, because if I had expected something crazy I would have been disappointed.

I rolled in in a blaze of glory, cameras flashing as I left a trail of destruction caused by teenage desire. I was hit by a wave of heat, as though I was trapped in the armpit of a bison. A beastly sweating bison on heat.

I’m just randomly guessing that Monday at Wadda in Claremont is a student night. Because there were guys and girls walking around there who were chomping at my ankles they were so young. Ahhh the fragility of youth. I don’t even really know what that means but it sounds really cool like I actually studied hard in English class.

I saw people kissing and thought “Hey, you are too young for that! That mouth is only for eating and drinking!” I felt so old. Look, these were probably matric, or first year varsity students so they are not that much younger than your holiness, but due to the fact that I grew up with an older brother and sister, I always hung out with the older crowd. I remember being in standard 6 or something and kicking it with the hottest girls in the world. My sisters friends were like a Godsend. Needless to say I never came right, only because I knew they could not handle me.

At house parties held my by siblings, I would roll in smelling like teenage desire, chat and mingle with the crowd, and then disappear. I often used the Hook and Shut Up technique. I actually never capitalised on that though, and now that everyone is getting married, I have blown my chances. But I know when the first kids start arriving they will still be thinking “I wonder what little Timmy would have looked like is Sean was the daddy? Ooooh spank me daddy Sean!”

I’m so off the topic it’s not even funny anymore. Where were we? Wadda. Yes. Right.

Anyway, I went to look for the ship mate, who has the best job in the world. Currently taking a break from the shipping industry(A forced break, paid for, that’s how the shipping industry do it) he is a man of absolute leisure and pleasure. His past weeks schedule has seen him having a mid afternoon beer with myself and Jerry D at Paulaner at the V&A Waterfront, attempting to watch some water polo yesterday and hitting Wadda last night. He only goes back to work in February. Nice three month leave. Nice work if you can get it.

So I found him and I reminded him that I had not been this uncomfortable in a club since I was a little girl. We chuckled and then I looked around, giving my icy cool 1000 mile stare. I saw young girls hearts shattering at the realisation that I am too old for them. For some people it is love at first sight. Sorry girls.

I then went upstairs where the heat was pumping in like the Sahara desert on tap. My greatness it was hot up there! I must have looked like I was blushing. I will have you know that I NEVER blush. Ever. I’m ice cold. Like dry ice.

I saw more people pulling into each other and knew very well that they should have been at home planning out a career path for themselves.

Anyway, it all got too much and I was literally sweating buckets, and everyone was young, and I was hot(Talking about physical sweat here, not dashing good looks), and I had a DVD collection to put Warner Brothers to shame waiting at home for me to smash into the DVD player. I left the same way I came in.

Via the door.

I got to the VR3, opened the reverse suicide doors, jumped in, saddled up, put the aircon on Level 4(All four windows open) and sent it home.

Please don’t invite me to a Wadda Monday again. And entrance was R30. And it was not cool in any sense of the word.

It’s time to sign off now before I start going into cold shivers thinking of last night.

(On a side note: I was going to put a picture of a sauna in here to show you what Wadda felt like last night, so I typed in “Sauna” on Google image search and it was not quite what I was looking for! Good Lord Google! I thought they were supposed to have the best search engine around. How does “Sauna” bring up these results? Bizarre! So I left the picture out. Hopefully my artistry with words drew a picture of last nights sweat fest)

Sean Lloyd

Editor