You might recall a while ago we smashed up a bit of Firemans Arms for a quiz night. Click WHO for the link to that piece. In it I said I spotted someone who looks like Sebastien Chabal.

I nearly had a heart attack right now when I got an e-mail from the actual man in the photo, Luke. I thought he was going to kill me! Anyway luckily for us he does live in Cape Town and therefore knows the range of humour abound in this crazy place. He said a friend forwarded him the article and so that is how he came to e-mail me. Quite hilarious.

I just think that is wicked, how he came upon the article.

Well we are smashing up some more Firemans Arms this evening, so we might see him there.

I won’t lie I’m a tad nervous, but I think a couple of brewskis and I should be fine. Wish me luck!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

And it’s none other than our sexy co-anchor! Who would have ever thought? I mean I was leaning towards me being addicted to things. So I received an electronic letter, which was sent to my POWER e-mail address which I only use for WORK purposes. It was from Britter, and I thought she was sending an e-mail saying that I resemble the Greek God Adonis. Or I thought maybe she was inviting me to lunch or some function. I mean the e-mail address usually only receives important e-mails such as…umm…such as…anyway I obviously can’t speak about it for confidentiality reasons.

It seems that Britter might have a slightly weak immune system. I, on the other hand, get a cold and my immune system destroys the cold virus. Not only that, but the air I exhale after that actually destroys that particular virus from the whole earth. I once got bird flu but shook it off in a couple of hours. I don’t have an immune system, I have an army. I am real man. A man who invented the wheel. And the cheese sandwich.

Ok enough of the rubbish, let’s be serious here. Oh I’m listening to Bob Marleys “No woman no cry” Read into that what you will.

Here is her POWER e-mail sent to my WORK address:

During the seasonal change I always seem to get cold.

Usually I take some vitamins and Med-Lemon and get over it in a week.

For some reason a cold I received a few weeks ago wouldn’t leave. Actually I’m lying to you right now, I know why it wouldn’t leave. I believe it was due to an excessive amount of partying. The Tiger cage just kept calling my name.

“Co-anchor!”

“Co-anchor!”

I couldn’t NOT reply.

Any-WHO I can deal with a sore throat and cough but prolonged nose sniffle and blockage is my worst!(Graphic-Sean) I can’t sleep!

I had to resort to a family friend who is a known hypochondriac. Seriously, you never want to ask how she is doing because she goes into a full blown feel sorry for me I’m about to die and maybe spontaneously combust mode. She even has a home pharmacy.

The hypochondriac fixed me up with some children’s decongestant syrup called Demazin. It clears your nose up and makes you a bit drowsy so it’s easy to sleep.

The drowsiness is kind of like when your mommy used to tuck you in at night when you were five. She would bring the covers up to your neck and sing you sweet lullabies as you gently nodded off into the night.

Well it makes me a little drowsy, but the effect might be stronger on other people. For example I made the editor try it the other day when we decided to start drinking at 11am. It could have been the Demazin or the alcohol but Sean told me he went home and passed out after his little sample. (I blame it on the alcohol, the editor cannot handle his drink)

It also tastes amazing. Like Willy Wonka has just given you his new sweet recipe and you are the only one to have tried it.

Let’s just say this stuff is a life saver. I could sleep and breathe easy. The only problem is that the bottle did not last me too long. I’m on my third bottle, and my cold was gone a while ago!

Some might consider this a problem. I can understand this point of view but next time you have a cold and try it, you will thank me. I know you will.

And I will get over my little addiction. Eventually.

Maybe not, I kind of have an addictive personality. Ah well…at least it’s not crack.

Brittany

Well well! It seems that we do have an over the counter medicine addict on the executive board of SLXS. Not QUITE the image I’m going for on a website of this standard, but sometimes you need to tell the truth. I mean the truth does hurt, but it will set you free. Like those little white doves they set free. Similiar thing.

About the drinking, yes I am a light weight and I can’t help it. I’m still pretty sure that the “Demazin” Britter gave me was something else. It’s all coming together now! The neurons in my brain are on rapid fire and it is now CLEAR that she was trying to take ADVANTAGE of me in my semi-comatose state. There is a period of about four hours that went missing from my brain that day. I bet they were fun though.

Anyway, I’m thinking of sorting this problem out by making the co-anchor drink more. Rather have a drinking problem than a drinking and Demazin problem. That is just too much.

In fact to put this whole addictive personality into perspective, I sourced my hard drive for some photos that have been taken of my co-anchor. Let’s have a look shall we? The first photo is from her house in the estate. ESTATE. Why do I not get a house in the estate? Why do I live in a normal neighbourhood and my co-anchor lives in an ESTATE overlooking some sort of lake?! Things are crazy. Please note the bottle of bubbly, the Demazin, the sexy La Senza underwear, the handbags and the martini glasses. Evidently living up to the name of XS.

The second photo was taken at the Woolworths near Tokai. Evidently both times she was under the influence.

Smashed

Broken

I don’t really know what to say. I’m speechless. I will try ramble a couple of words out later, but I’m completely shattered at this point in my life. Shattered I tell you.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I love Fridays. I never know what is happening but I’m so spent from this week it’s crazy. I look alright this morning, maybe a little rough around the edges, but not too bad.

I’m currently zoning in for inspiration to write today, and this involves listening to  “A man called Adam- Easter Song” which comes off of the Cafe del Mar compact disc. Or CD. I’m also burning incense to try calm my nerves, which are now shot. I’m just making a little trip to the V&A Waterfront, where they are no doubt going to charge me the world for parking. I don’t care that they are renovating and adding a Louis Vuitton shop but I’m not that amped to spend the reserve bank on parking. I will leave this issue for another post though.

Well I’m quite tired and once I have let this temple of a body recuperate, I will bang something out on the computer and post it. I said something yesterday about the co-anchor, so we should see something on Britter closer to the end of today.

Please think of me while you are working today, I’m struggling ever so slightly. I need the power of you all to bring me back to top speed. I know we can do this.

Much love.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I’m calling today off, because I sense that it is a big day. It is the BMP’s birthday and I am preparing for a party tonight. Well actually it’s starting this afternoon. I might start the party by myself at home but later on I will be meeting up with the SLXS Entourage for a night on the town. We have little celebrations every now and then for the various things we do. Tonight we celebrate. Tonight we wine and dine. Tonight we hit top speed in a little place we call “Claremont”

But don’t worry because I spent time with the co-anchor yesterday and we conceptualised and we both thought it was time that she comes clean about her addiction to the XS life. Ok so she enjoys some sushi at Beluga from time to time. And she likes a glass of bubbly by herself at times. And then she likes to take a couple of sips of kids decongestant syrup, which has mildly addictive properties. It also makes you drowsy.But we all get like this…You have those days where nothing seems to be going right and you want to spend it in good company. Somewhere you feel cared for, safe and protected from this hectic world where kids scream and alcoholic beverages have signs on them saying “Drink me drink me!”

Good company to Britter is fine food, fine drink and fine kids medicines. It’s not really a problem though because she enjoys it. And if you enjoy something, there is no possible way it can be seen as a problem. I also have some previously unseen photos of her. Obviously I shouldn’t be showing them to the internet, but I think it will go a long way to showing you how in fact we operate here at SLXS. It might also clear up some of the more common questions asked, for instance “Do the people at SLXS decide on how long the seasons are?” and “Do the editor and the co-anchor really run the world?”

The answers are “Yes”

See you all tomorrow and good luck. It’s a crazy world out there.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I was wondering the other day (And the previous 3000 days) what exactly it is that women want. And then it occurred to me. Women love lingerie. It’s true. If we just have a quick look at Britters face here, we see a smile. A large one.

(Wait…what women want? Thinking of that now it would make a great movie! You know…throw in an actor such as…just off the top of my head…Mel Gibson perhaps? Wait…wait…even go completely over the top and have a scene where he waxes his legs! No…no…this is too much of a crazy idea to actually work. Sorry, this is a stupid idea. Sigh)

You see, in order to have the sexiest co-anchor in the world, we took her to La Senza the other day to get some underwear. There was some rubbish there like the usual granny panties which are quite an eyesore. So for the co-anchor we chose five of the tiniest thongs(G-strings, but she is American) and she could not have been happier. Women want to feel sexy and there is no way they can possibly feel sexy in Bridget Jones’ underwear(Well obviously not HER underwear, but the same style) They need something lacy and small.

So that’s what we did. We took her to Cape Town girls favourite store which also happens to be Cape Town guys favourite store. La Senza. Myself and Charlie V were like two cheetahs on the attack in there, there is so much good stuff to look at. If you look at Britter in the photo above, you will see she has underwear tucked into her pants, and this is why she is so happy. She feels sexy. Come on guys, is this not the look you want to see on your girlfriends face? Yes it is! It probably also helps that the beautiful city of Cape Town is set as a backdrop to this photo, but hey, that’s where we live.

I don’t think we need anymore endorsement than this. The SLXS co-anchor, who constantly lives in excess(Sushi, cosmopolitans, travelling), endorses the sexiness of La Senza. I endorse it. You don’t want to have to be around someone who is unhappy, just because their underwear does not make them feel sexy. It’s pretty simple really. You need to take your girlfriend to La Senza. Or wife, whatever the situation may be.

Hell, even if Nikki at accounts downstairs is unhappy, take her!

La Senza lingerie looks great on, but it’s obviously more fun to take off. Come on guys, let’s not see any unhappy faces this summer. I want to see girls smiling, laughing and jumping because they feel hot. Sexy. Unstoppable. Obviously being very hot weather in Cape Town at this time of the year, you would want to choose something very minimalistic like Britter has done. And go for the thong, we don’t want any unsightly underwear lines when wearing the tightest of pants around Cape Town this summer.

I don’t think we need any more reason to take your other half to La Senza than the words I have just typed. And the smile on our lovely co-anchors face. She is so happy! We are so happy! You should be so happy!

What? You are working? So what?! Call the wife/girlfriend and tell her that you are going to La Senza now. Tell the boss that you just have to cross reference some hedge funds and say something about a bull market sinking oil stocks in Taiwan. Bosses have no idea what is going on anyway, they just want 5pm to come round so they can smash up the office bar.

To find La Senza in Cape Town you can visit their stores in:

Bayside Centre Tableview

Gardens Centre

Cavendish Square in Claremont

The Victoria & Alfred Waterfront

Or visit the La Senza website HERE

I have given you all the information and more than enough reasons to go. Now you just need to go do it. I’m actually excited for you! It’s true…

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Justin Kirk: But do I look like him?

Does anyone in Cape Town know what happened to that movie Ask the Dust? I was just reminiscing on the days of wasting my youth, and remembered that I was part of that movie. I had no starring role but I was a stand in for a guy called Justin Kirk(Link), who played Sammy in the movie. I never actually got to see the movie, I was hoping to see my name right at the bottom of the list of credits!

The movie was filmed on the Pinelands school fields and also in a warehouse just outside of Howard Centre in Pinelands. It was quite hilarious work though because you see some crazy stuff on film sets. And you meet some crazy people.

Firstly, I saw Colin Farrell smoking about a million cigarettes, but he was quite cool. Then one day sushi was being passed around set and I thought it was personally for me, but it wasn’t. Apparently Colin Farrell had paid for it which was awesome. Then there was our boy Justin Kirk who was so laid back.

I still remember going to the casting, where I met some idiot who thought he was a big deal. Turns out he was just some lighting guy who thought he was the business. He screamed at me because he told me to go to some room to meet someone, and I could not find the room. I came back and he went ballistic. It’s funny because the most arrogant people on that set were not overseas movie stars, but rather the local people working on the set.

Obviously not everyone is like this in S.A, but some people let their ego’s get in the way. Just chill out guys…just because you are working with Colin Farrell does not mean you are cool nor does it mean you can be arrogant. The actors were very chilled and Colin Farrel just kicked about most days, minding his own business. Then Justin Kirk was super chilled, and he played the part of a barman in the film so we spent a lot of the time at the fake bar. Nowadays I have the pleasure of spending lot’s of time at real bars.

Wondering about set was great, because I did not have to work much. As a stand in, you just need to be about the same height as the actors with similiar build so you can stand in for them so that the crew can set up the camera positions and lighting and all that jazz. Some days I would sit about from early in the morning until 4pm before I had to do anything. Some days you literally “work” for 30 minutes. But set is great, because you just eat all the snacks all day, and then the catered meals are excessive. Roast everything, vegetables, salads, baked potatoe dishes and pretty anything you can think of. You eat like a champion on set.

It was also wicked checking the set out because they had all the old school cars, like a 1930 vibe going on. And there was a tram that went through the town that they had built up, it was really impressive. So I would sit out in the sun, watching the actors act, and then eat, and then chat to people on set. It’s interesting meeting all those people and learning new things from a crazy bunch of people. Most of our days were spent laughing and I was getting paid for it. Hilarious!

It’s crazy because the restaurant and the hotel rooms were all built up in the warehouse. It’s just weird seeing perfectly built structures, but they are made just for the movie and are housed under one warehouse roof.

But the funniest thing was Colin Farrells stand in, whose name was Geo. But if you are South African you will know how to pronounce that and it is an Afrikaans name. But he insisted that we pronounce it “Gee-oh” Ha! I don’t know if he wanted us to do this to make him sound cooler, or just because working on film sets, the overseas people can’t pronounce Geo in an Afrikaans manner. It was quite funny though if you were South African.

So yeah, I just wondered what happened to my name, did it get lost in the credits? It would add to my sterling credits on my CV, which include being a waiter at some function at the U.S Embassy(It could have actually been the ambassadors personal house) where I served food to Tony Leon. Ha ha! Patricia De Lille was also there. I like to call her by her rapper name though. Lil’ Trish!

It’s good to look back on old times.

I’m quite diverse! That’s good times.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I actually forgot to mention this, such is my life full of excess! I get caught up in 1000 different things and then I forget to do little things like this.

But I just saw this T-shirt in the cupboard now and it’s quite interesting. I think we got it for about R120, after getting 65% off. I can’ remember the exact price, because I put the slip in the braai. Anyway, it’s a good price for a quality shirt. You might care to take a little look at this bad boy:

What a tease

You will notice that there is a “Stripper” on the shirt. There is also a little star covering her box. Which is strange considering there is a bit of nipple showing. How rude! The writing says “Campeonato del Mundo de Striptease” Which is obviously Hispanic and translates to “This striptease shirt does not come with a happy ending”

However, the shop assistants at Miss Sixty & Energie are not fluent in Hispanic like I am, so it’s a good laugh to play around with them. You know the usual shop assistant thing. You are chilling, checking out a t-shirt, and they walk up to you:

“Can I help you, your holiness?” Is the most common line used on me.

“Yes punk, what does this mean?” I then point to the writing on this striptease shirt.

“Uhhh…I have no idea” They murmur.

“I will tell you what it means” I say with a wide eyed grin(No, my grin does not have eyes, but you get the point)

“It means, in Hispanic, that this t-shirt comes with a happy ending” I say with a twinkle in my eyes. “So does it, punk?”

They then get a little nervous laugh, and I keep staring at them, with eyes like ice. They then get nervous when I ask, after buying the shirt, if I will be seeing them in the changing rooms in 5 minutes. At this point I am scolded by the co-anchor. I leave shouting “I want my happy ending!” This makes them freak out and the next week they have resigned and are working at Fabiani.

It’s also a novel concept, having a stripper ON you at all times. When your folks call, you can tell them that you will chat later and you are just busy at the moment because there is a stripper with her box on your chest right as you speak. This will probably warrant your dad asking “Well hook a father up, where are you son?”

Anyway, enough of that, get down to the Victoria and Alfred Waterfront in Cape Town, where things are going for as much as 65% off. Granted there are some t-shirts there that cost R1200 in the first place, but we want to live excessively don’t we? Yes we do. Just do it. Do it. Gin and tonic. Do it.

Miss Sixty and Energie- Up to 65% off sale now on

Shop 6281

Upper Level, Victoria Wharf

Victoria and Alfred Waterfront

Cape Town

Tel: +27 (0)21 419 1147

Don’t forget to ask for a happy ending.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The view of camps Bay from Ignites balcony. Very nice!

This par-tay was quite late notice, and I would have told you all about this party had I known earlier if I would be there. But I was taking a stroll through the V&A Waterfront in Cape Town on Sunday when Charlie V alerted me to the fact that Roger Goode and Goldfish would be playing at Ignite in Camps Bay. He told me that things were going to get kicked off at about 6pm, and immediately I was game.

On arrival, it was only me and Charlie V and we were not expecting much except to just chill out. But things quickly changed when JJ and Chris said they would pull through. While waiting for them, we bumped into two of the promotion girls we met at the FNB Whisky Live Festival. Suddenly they were introducing us to their friends, and friends of friends, and then we met up with other people we knew and the night spiralled.

From arriving lonely, we were suddenly having a good time with an entire crowd. Ignite finds itself attracting people who are very easy on the eye. The whole night was filled with jaws dropping, eyes wide open and a general vibe of “I think I might be playing out of my league” But because we are excessive, we find the extra gear we keep for emergencies like this, and we can play in any league. And besides, I learned something a while back, and that is, even if a girl is a 9 or a 10, talk to her like she is a 4. That way you come across as ICE cool. To the person I learned that from, you know who you are! It’s such a classic.

You see, when girls are hot, and you act uninterested, even though you yourself are not a 10, they wonder what it is that makes you so cool that you don’t care about them. Intrigued, they want to know more about you. They start nagging you the whole evening “So what is it that you do?”

“I’m a man of mystery pumpkin tits, now please move along” You say with confidence.

This drives them crazy and by the end of the night they are begging you for your number and your ID number and all sorts of stuff. If you want to play it ultra cool, you leave as they are grabbing onto your ankles, begging you to stay. This let’s the other people in the club know that you are so powerful, that you can leave the hottest girl in the club behind, without so much as a care in the world. That’s when you win. Because come back next week and you will have everyone all over you.

Anyway, Roger Goode was there and he is too cool. Really friendly, always keen for photos and he plays some sick beats. Roger Good lives the dream. He basically parties for a living which is what we all want! I mean…I want it. You want it!

Roger Goode

To show the scope of talent, let me show you a quick photo of the company that surrounded us. I’m still SEMI speechless and I find it HARD to type.

“I never even knew that league existed” Sean quipped later, holding back his tears

From what Goldfish told us, they will be playing at Ignite every Sunday now! I’m not sure for how long but they are sick, and you have to see them live.

Goldfish

So that’s it. Ignite in Camps Bay. Ignite in Camps Bay. Ignite in Camps Bay. Sorry, I’m writing this in a tin room, and it’s echoing. The outside deck are is quite large, and is great for chilling out on, when the weather is warm, which is all the time. It’s Cape Town. There are two bars inside, and space to dance and the people are beautiful! YES!

Sundays see Goldfish playing which is SICK! You better be there. I know you want to.

Ignite

The Promenade

Victoria Road

Camps Bay

Cape Town

Alpho Bravo Charlie check it.

Ghost rider, requesting fly by.

Negative Maverick.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

As I said yesterday, I managed to get my hands on the Hummer H3 on Sunday which is always a treat. It’s such an awesome drive, and it’s the car you should drive to be excessive. It still stands out more than the BMW X5 or Land Cruiser, just because the excess level is high. What impressed me were the chrome finishes, which make you feel like some sort of rapper. Like Fiddy Cent. Or the cast of Entourage. It’s not a fast car, but we still managed to get a good 160km/hr going, but it’s not meant for that really. It’s a cruising car, meant to impress.

The best thing to do in this car is to cruise, 40km/hr, windows down, music pumping while throwing dollar bills into the street. Ok that is pushing it a little bit, I have been watching too much television.

I have not tested The Hummer H3′s off road abilities, but I’m sure they are not bad! Just look at the car, it nearly ate a Daihatsu Terios going through Cape Town. In order to maximise on the experience, I went the opposite of excess. Instead of sipping on cognac in the Hummer H3, I drank a nice cup of tea. Splendid Jeeves! This in addittion to being stupid and eating a Steers ice cream in the car, all in the name of excess of course! It was too crazy.

Drinking that English drink in an American car. Wicked! 

Like a kid in a candy shop 

Neat interior, quite rugged feeling

You would think to be in a Hummer you would need to be smoking cigars, drinking alcohol and be dressed in a suit. Not me. I do whatever I like. I drink tea, wear a t-shirt and cargo pants and smoke nothing. I’m like that. I need to take care of this body so I can keep bringing you the best of Cape Town. Otherwise, how would we make it through the day?

It was perfect weather for a Hummer H3 because it was raining and I had nothing else to do. The driver took us through Noordhoek while we ate ice cream and laughed that we were being so stupid on a Sunday. I quite enjoyed it and I’m quit keen to do that again. Sundays are always boring and rolling through the city in a Hummer H3 just sometimes seems like the right thing to do. It’s all about living in excess.

Stopping off at Noordhoek 

To get hold of a Hummer, I suggest clicking HERE for Reeds Motorgroup. They will hook you up. Just take some cash with you. And tea.
Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Sometimes I like to kick it right back to the old school(Except when buying lingerie for girls. No Bridget Jones rubbish. Wear what the co-anchor wears) With shoes I go back to the very old school and own a pair of Adidas that are based on their original soccer boots, the Copa Mundial I believe, which were my first pair of rugby boots at school. Yes..ha ha…laugh…I did play rugby. Funny story actually, in Grade 4 I was quite fast…still am…but I got promoted to the B team which meant I would have to practice three times a week(I think) and play a match on weekends.

However! If I just played for the C team, practice was only twice a week, and I would rarely be included to play matches because we never really played matches then. And if we did, I would play badly at practice so they would choose someone else. Anyway, after being promoted to the B team I went to one practice session and it was way too hectic for a creative mind like mine. I was completely spent and the coach was an idiot. So I knew if I missed a practice I would be dropped.

Boom…next practice session young Seano was not there! Coach went ballistic, dropped me from the team as though I cared and I never played B team ever again. In my life. Not that I stressed about it. I was just happy that I could spend more time at home watching K-TV and drinking obscene amounts of Nesquik (Which would probably explain my milk allergy later in life) Anyway, this is going off the topic. I was talking about the old school…

Right…So a few months ago Jerry D(Chicks dig me) called me up and said he was piloting The Bomber in my direction and he was picking me up for some or other business excursion he wanted to do. I got into the car and he was playing The Traveling Wilburys over the boom box. Immediately I liked it. And then I realised it’s because when I was younger, my parents used to play The Traveling Wilburys. So on a subconscious level, I was always going to be drawn to The Traveling Wilburys, Jerry D just had to make me realise this again.

Talking of remembering things from your childhood, I always remember loving going to the petrol station with my old man when I was a kid. For some reason, smelling the petrol and watching the petrol attendant wash the windows relaxed me. And to this day it still does. Every time I go to the petrol station to this day, I insist that the attendant washes the windows.The front and rear windscreen. It’s SO weird, I know.Obviously I’m not fond of petrol stations as much these days because using petrol does wreck the planet. But it still smells good and I feel quite relaxed at the petrol station. It’s got a sort of zen vibe to it. ESPECIALLY watching the windows being cleaned.

So back to The Traveling Wilburys. I had to have the CD and so bought it. But I only listened to the music, and never actually bothered watching the music videos. Which, might I add, are killer! The boys are so old school, you wish this whole technological age never came round and we were all hippies! I never knew about the music videos until Jerry D came round the other day and showed me them. They are awesome!

I never knew quite what the band members looked like, and am a little shocked at their grooming regime. For one, I’m not sure that they have a classic “Trustworthy” look about them. Maybe keep them at arms length. Personally I think they could do with a bit of work at Evolv (Click for a review) And you know…lose the cereal killer glasses. Yes “Cereal” this time round. Because I can. Ok…it’s really “Serial” if you are a stickler.

Big pimping

Please enjoy the photo above of the band. The guy at the back left seems to be sporting some sort of an afro. Well, generally “Afro” refers to a person of colour with this hair style. I don’t know what we call this. Maybe a “Eurofro”? This also brings to mind the classic line when someone tries to mess someone elses “fro” up. You just say “You mess with the fro…you gotta go!” And then punch them or do something dramatic that will injure them.

Then we have our boy at the bottom right with the glasses and the white loafers. Let me add here that SLXS will never endorse the wearing of white loafers. It’s just too Tom Jones, too porn and too wrong. There is nothing right about white loafers. Just enjoy the man with the glasses and imagine seeing him in a dark alleyway at night.

Any-ho, their music is really cool! Brings a touch of nostalgia with it and makes you wonder how much acid was actually taken back in the day. I have always asked my parents about the free love acid taking days but they ignore me. I get my dad on the phone and say “Hey pops, what went on in the hippie days with all that acid and stuff?” Suddenly it’s as if he is driving through a hurricane, the phone crackles…and I hear him muttering… “Bad signal. Call you…crackle…back in three weeks…crackle…when you have forgotten this question…stammer…mumble” And then he hangs up. Clearly things got a little crazy! I always wondered why my dad had a T-shirt saying “I love acid”

I always just thought that it meant pool acid and that was the reason our pool at the Pinelands house was always an azure blue.

So that’s this article really. Totally random, totally stupid and a little bit excessive.

I hope you enjoy the day…JC Le Roux knows I will!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I was made aware of an exhibition at Biblioteq in Cape Town by BMP of Foxp2 ad agency in Cape Town. The exhibition took place on Thursday November 1st and obviously we were there! This is the event that the co-anchor was going to attend but myself and Charlie V were going straight to the FNB Whisky Live Festival afterwards and the co-anchor had other plans. So we made our way through, but not after Charlie V had shot gunned a beer. You know the classic take out your car keys and punch a hole in the can then open it and suck the beer out through the punched hole. Yeah…that was the the mood we were in! Obviously I could not drink as I was the designated driver for the whisky festival.

It seems that while most of my life is spent living in excess, I need to take one for the team from time to time. I mean…my Entourage take one for the team all the time so it’s only natural that I have to play my part.

Biblioteq always treat us well…You might recall the last time we were there we were sipping on organic wine. For that write up click THERE. That was also the time we met Gavin Williams, who is actually the funniest person in the world. I was speaking to some people who were at the Kelvin Grove Beerfest and they had seen him out and could not stop talking about how funny he is. So there it is, you need to meet Gavin Williams. You will laugh. A lot.

Anyway we arrived at Biblioteq and were met by BMP and the crew from FoxP2, who incidentally are the funniest ad agency in Cape Town. They just had some cool work featured over at Cherryflava. Nice. But after a while you don’t want to hang out with them because you can honestly only laugh so much…and then it starts hurting.

We were there for an exhibition where artists had to use circular stickers, or dots if you will, to make a piece of artwork. Let me help you out here with one of the pieces:

Charlie V high five-ing one of the designs

Personally I was impressed with all of them but there can only be one winner. And for SLXS, it had to be the most excessive one. Which obviously had to do with a girl with no top on. I must add here that we were very impressed with this one, and want to buy the artist a drink. When I first walked into Biblioteq I never saw this girl, until I heard someone say something about a naked girl inside. Immediately I was onto it. It seems like the stickers are shaped into a hand covering the general baby feeding area. Clearly the artist was quite a naughty boy. This was not only for my viewing pleasure, but for yours as well. Cue the SLXS winner:

Mmmmmm…

Vida e Caffe had also done quite a nice set up at Biblioteq where they had set up a coffee stand inside, and more importantly for living life fast and excessive, they had set us up with some of their fantastic beer! Free of course. To find out more about this beer, click HERE. It was so good. Nothing like an ice cold one after a long, hard day at the pool.Everyone was having a great time, and with beer, a topless girl and laughs coming out of FoxP2 at the rate of about 1000 a minute, I was suitably impressed!

Vida e caffe went all out with coffee and beer

Then to finish off with another lovely photo, I pretended to take a photo of Charlie V, only to zoom in on the girl behind him. Who is quite pretty. In fact extremely pretty.

Naughty

And obviously while all of this was going on, the VR3 was watching over proceedings. You might not realise this, but to get a parking spot right outside Biblioteq at the time we went would normally be extremely difficult. But as you know, the VR3 is Cape Towns most feared vehicle, and when it comes purring through Cape Town, parking spaces just appear. Other cars fear for the VR3:

The VR3 keeping an eye on proceedings

So yes, it was a terrible evening. Girl with no top on, beautiful girl in the photo above, a quality, good looking, hilarious crowd and to top it all off free beer from Vida e Caffe. I’m pretty sure that all of this spells “Xs” In fact, it does.

All this action took place in Kloof Street in Cape Town, so be sure to visit Biblioteq for books, and Vida e Caffe for coffee, light snacks and quality beer.

And now I am completely spent. Going to go check out the scene at Kelvin Grove, check in later.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Good morning everyone, I trust you had a splendid weekend? Thought so!  I must be honest, my weekend was heading towards being a chilled one, after an early Friday and Saturday night, which I spent watching DVD’s by myself. But obviously running the home of excess, things tend to get a little crazy, even if it’s on a Sunday.

So yesterday started out chilled again, with me searching Cape Town for some Falke socks, specifically the Hidden ones. Which go well with all my shoes, but I could not find them. Searching for socks on a Sunday is boring, but our plans of the beach and boats had to be cancelled due to the weather.

Obviously we had some wet weather plans in place, and when I realised I could get my hands on the Hummer H3, that’s exactly what I did. This craziness ended up with us hitting Ignite in Camps Bay to see Goldfish and the ever popular Roger Goode from about 5pm. You have no idea what a legend Roger Goode is, he is too awesome. Ignite happens to attract a crowd that looks like they have walked straight out of a modelling agency, which suited us fine, and would no doubt suit you fine.

But for now, we need to focus on the Biblioteq exhibition, and I will get into the details of Sundays shenanigans tomorrow.

What a blinder of a Sunday!

And enjoy your Monday, I’m completely spent. Work hard, play hard, and always live in excess!

Much respect!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

You often don’t know where to start on writing something like this. I’m writing this completely out of order, because we hit up Biblioteq first. I just think it’s important to realise the severity of this event. It is severely awesome and therefore you need to attend. Tonight is the last night of the FNB Whisky Live Festival. You need to position yourself inside the Cape Town International Convention Centre (CTICC) tonight. Cancel all other plans, hire a baby sitter, knock off the family dinner, get a driver and hit the FNB Whisky Live Festival.

We obviously started off with a meeting up of minds at my place. From there, myself and Charlie V went to Biblioteq (More on that later). From there it was directly to the CTICC. You know you are not in the slums when you arrive and the first thing you see is a chauffeuer outside the Arabella in Cape Town, just chilling. In a Rolls Royce Phantom! You know…no big deal really. Probably taking his client to get a cheese sandwich at the 24 hour Woolworths in Gardens.

I had been told to brace myself for an absolute onslaught of eye candy, but you can’t brace yourself securely enough for the promotion girls at the FNB Whisky Live Festival. You will want to sell your kids, divorce the wife and go live in a shack in Peru with these girls. Obviously don’t do this, because all it will get you is an unhappy life. For a while you might be happy, but I don’t think it will work out long term. I’m serious…

Events like these demand that you bring your A game, which is what we always bring but I decided to lose my usual T-shirt and cargo shorts look for my top speed A game. Vertical pink striped cotton long sleeved shirt, brown leather shoes, Levi’s with street cred (6 years old) and the Meharee watch. I did forget the Parker pen though, which would have catapulted me into a league above. I had only arrived with Charlie V and we were set to meet up with Andre, the accountant. Ex accountant. Now retired. Way before the 60 years old retiring age. Now living the dream. Before we had actually seen Andre, we bumped into the step brother Kyle, who gave me all the latest information on what I need to know. Like a limited edition car(Will find out all the details soon) that comes with a watch, which starts the car. Mind blowing.

The step brother was seemingly trying to get as debauched as possible. Not being an avid whisky drinker, he was going to the Jack Daniels stand, because he claims the Jack Daniels stand was not charging for whisky. You receive a booklet with tickets, and then the drinks range from about two tickets to twelve tickets. So he would shotgun a double Jack ‘n lime, and then head over to the Baileys stand and wash it down with Baileys cream liqueur. What a class act! I don’t think he even touched the good whisky the whole night. What. A. Legend.

Uncle Jack Attack made an appearance. He might need some moisturiser, looking a little dry.

Anyway, later in the evening Kyle had somehow not used many tickets and like a trusted henchman delivering the finest goods, he threw three ticket booklets my way. I don’t know where he got them, but the man has his connections. I then immediately hunted down Charlie V like a rabid cheetah…at top speed. Seeing as though I could not drink I wanted to get Charlie V as smashed as possible. More on this later…let’s cut to the promotion girls for a minute.

While cruising around we bumped into Sarah, who Charlie V chatted to nicely, and then we cruised with them to the Cape Town Fish Market sushi bar which was a nice addition to the whisky festival. While trying to chat up the promotion girls, we actually realised that they were quite lovely! Francis gave us a lot of her time, which was nice. It’s not often that girls actually talk to me. You know…like they are actually interested what I have to say. Francis clearly enjoyed our humour…except the part where I asked her if she would show her boobs to get free things like club entrances and drinks and so forth. I think I did see a little smile though.

Francis was quite popular, and while I was engaged in a conversation about the current state of Schalk Burger Juniors hair, two seemingly smashed, middle aged guys walked up, and asked if they could chat to her briefly. I was confused as they kept calling her “Romy”

“Sweet Lord she has given me a false name” I thought to myself. Girls often do this to me. That in addition to giving me false phone numbers, false ages, false come to bed eyes and then walking away. When will I ever get a break?!

At this point I was mildly amused, as I am quite used to this type of behaviour. But I found out that her name actually was Francis, and they never had a name tag for her, so they just gave her the “Romy” name tag. Fantastic!

So after entertaining her for a while, we were off again. I walked around and just tried to get in tune with the whole FNB Whisky Live Festival. It’s interesting seeing the people milling around. Old guys, red alcohol ridden faces, sipping on whisky while trying unsuccessfully to hit on the young promotion girls, and actually thinking that it is working!

One thing that Andre told me, which was clever but often overlooked, is to not go to the stands where the cheap whisky is, or even the name brand whisky. Don’t go to the J&B stand, because you can taste that anytime. And J&B is not exactly a tasting whisky, I mean let’s be honest, it’s not the best whisky in town. Skip the Johnnie Walker as well. As Andre wisely mentioned, it is the most over rated whisky around. Everybody talks about Johnnie Walker Blue Label, which I’m guessing is currently around R1200 a bottle. He also said that you can easily get two bottles of a lesser known whisky, for the same price, that will be far superior in taste to Blue Label. Johnnnie Walker Blue Label is after all a blended whisky. Give it a skip kids.

To me Johnnie Walker Blue Label screams of attention. You buy it to be seen with it and you don’t necessarily have a taste for whisky, but like the fact that you are buying that particular name. Rather go low key, and show people that you have understated class and style by going for a lesser known, but superior brand. It’s this that gives you the edge over the guy buying the Blue Label to be seen. We all like to live in excess, but vulgar displays of wealth are sometimes a bit much for me. Understated excess is what we are going for. Let’s be individuals.

Also give the Chivas Regal a skip. Look around for the smaller brands, taste their products and be really impressed.

I also overheard someone saying that the music was too loud in the background, which I thought was true at times. While trying to listen to the the guys telling us about the whisky, we had to lean over the stands, with our heads tilted, to actually hear them. They could have toned the music down a bit, as the whisky festival is more than just tasting the whisky, but also about discussing the flavours.

One interesting stand was the J&B stand (Oddly enough) where they had two different J&B varieties, which are not currently availably in South Africa but were brought in for the festival. J&B Nox is, I believe, specifically made for sale in Spain. I stand to be corrected, but that’s what I heard through the loud music. Then there is also the J&B -6 degrees(Degrees Celsius, not written out. You know, the 6 with a little “O” above it, and then a “C”) This is a light whisky, and is for the young drinker who has not yet acquired the taste for whisky. It is light to get you into the whisky drinking spirit.

As time was running on, we noticed that we were being handed tickets from every direction. We knew so many people there and with about 28 tickets left, and only seven minutes before the festival closed at 22h00, we were left scrambling for the most expensive whisky we could find. We had to make the most of this experience!

I found myself being mysteriously drawn to the Glenfiddich stand, not particularly because of the whisky, but because, the hottest promotion girls were to be found there. Naturally, I’m not keeping this to myself, and so I took a photographic image to share with the internet. The promotion agencies had clearly gone with the right choice of clothing. Some nice cleavage action being quite prominent. “In your face” we could say at this point. By the time I had finished ogling, and when my jaw had literally hit the floor and and my eyes were falling out, I whipped out a good 24 tickets and got Charlie V a triple Glenfiddich 21 year old. We obviously would have gone for the 30 year old, but that was already finished. Pity. Please enjoy the Glenfiddich girls. I won’t tell you who my favourite was, I need to keep some secrets.

Nice cleavage action…That’s lovely.

You are inclined to act all suave around the Glenfiddich girls by doing a Ron Burgundy and saying “I would like to have three fingers of Glenfiddich, with a little bit of pepper…and some cheese” It may not work though.

At this point Andre strolled over, and ordered a taste of the Glenfiddich liqueur. Well slap me around and call me Chuck! I had a small taste tester, and can confidently claim that is is what you are looking for. No jokes. Go to the FNB Whisky Live Festival tonight, and taste it. Enjoy it. Cry about it.

Then buy it. Yes, it is that good!

So the triple was handed to Charlie, who at this stage was already in another stage of debauched. I guess it was phuza face Thursday, so we can excuse him. At this point the festival had closed, and we were getting ready to leave. As we were exiting Charlie V still had at least two shots(Tots if you must) of 21 year old in his glass and he was not allowed to take it out.

He looked at me with a scared look in his eyes, said “It’s go time”, and in one clean sip, smashed the whisky down. Wooooooo hooooooooo! Another class act.

I’m still a bit shaky with nerves, realising the sort of company we were in last night. When I say the promotion girls are crazy styles hot, I mean it.

What I’m going to propose here is that tonight you go to the FNB Whisky Live Festival. Let’s not stuff this up. Let’s not wake up on Saturday morning thinking “I should have gone” Neglect your wife, husband, kids or whatever tonight. Or bring your wife/ husband/ girlfriend/ boyfriend with. Go crazy. Stare at the eye candy. Drink the whisky. Savour Cape Town. Breathe in the air. Shout out loud “Cape Town I love you”. Get drunk. Eat sushi. Enjoy life.

Come on, do it for me.

FNB Whisky Live Festival

Last night tonight

Hot promotion girls. Cleavage quite prominent. Tight black dresses.

Cape Town International Convention Centre

More whisky than you will know what to do with.

Click HERE for the details

I’m shaking again knowing that I will not be there with you tonight.

Have a drink on me and remember to always live in excess.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I have just received some good news. Another reliable source has just informed me that there is an absolute stunner tanning at the pool at Kelvin Grove in Newlands which is in this place we call Cape Town.

I think we would be stupid to miss this chance on chatting her up.

I think I may have to make my way down to the pool, slap some coconut oil on my cheese grater abs, bang some of the white Barry out over the speaker system, get a Pina Colada and let my naturally sexy vibe do the talking.

Look, it will probably end in tears for me but you don’t know if you don’t try, do you? Exactly. Wish me luck. Many a man has died trying, but I’m willing to put my body on the line.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

We can’t load photos. For now anyway. But I’m standing by waiting for the photo uploading to work again. In fact, I’m going on a hunger strike until I can load photos. Obviously I could load the articles without the photos, but the eye candy is well worth it.

Besides, it’s Friday, and people are not really interested in what I have to say. They just want to see photos. Then hop in the Merc, hammer it home, give the wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend a light kiss on the cheek, a smack on the ass and then go smash it up at Forres with their mates. I know the Cape Town crowd. The traffic at 1pm is hilarious on a Friday. Forres is even more hilarious on a Friday.

Guys in suits, ties off, eating pizza, drinking beer and laughing that they are actually so high up in the business that they get paid to pub crawl while Mildred slaves away in the basement checking through financial reports while sweating like a beast waiting for his next R500 pay check and trying to find his stapler in between trying to actually get a social life while holding down another job to pay for his train fare to work in between eating two minute noodles wondering when his break in life will come and he will actually be able to afford a beer at Forres.

Sorry, I lost it towards the end there.

Keep cool my babies…

Sean Lloyd

Editor