The first time I ever really linked the word “croon” with anyone, was a few years ago listening to all that is wrong with this world, Tom Jones, the sex bomb. He is the most hideous man! But for some or other reason chicks dig him. He has had plastic surgery to the max and just resembles a dirty old man. But he is quite a decent singer apparently. Why any girls would want to throw their panties at him is beyond me, but chicks dig his whole vibe that he sends out.
Put yourself in a girls shoes, or if you are a girl, don’t change shoes. Imagine Tom in front of you, sweating, belting out some tunes. Imagine his eyes all like a deer in the headlights because of the plastic surgery pulling his face back over his head. Now ask yourself, why would I go to the effort of taking my underwear off and throwing it at him?
It’s a mind boggling question, something that I doubt science can explain.
If you go to his website at www.tomjones.com , you will see that he is completely in love with himself. His website does not contain a biography, it contains a “Tomography” It’s totally insane! It makes no sense really. That’s like calling my biography a “Seanography” It has no meaning. Well I guess when you have slept with a countless number of women(Read THIS) you can pretty much call it anything you want!
And then to top it all of(Over and above his hair and perma tan), we find out that Tom Jones also likes to wear a Speedo from time to time! Complete with shag pile carpet hairy chest. Tom Jones IS a God!
Enjoy “The Tom” in all his glory
After TJ, I then realised that Lionel Ritchie was also a “crooner”. Lionel, to those of you unaware, is the father of that pregnant chick, who now just looks a normal size, Nicole Ritchie. Nicole became famous for The Simple Life and…um…yeah I think that’s about it.So this brings me onto the song I’m currently belting out through the stereo… I connected my iPod to the amp and am currently sending Foreigners “Waiting for a girl like you” through the atmosphere, and making my neighbours very unhappy.
Well it’s not like they can actually hear the music, they are like 100 years old. Well, 250 years if you combine the husband and wife. It’s quite a crooning song and I’m pretty sure many a person has come right with this type of music playing! I can’t say it’s worked for me, but hey…you can’t win all the time.
This brings me onto the topic of Foreigner, who are crooning their way into Cape Town this Friday, the 23rd of November! If there is any easier way to come right with the bird, then you need to tell me. Taking the bird to the Foreigner concert might just work. It’s all you need really to save a crumbling relationship, or to make a girl think that you are sophisticated and suave. Look, it could also come across as cheesy( I have no doubt it will), but I think it’s worth a try?
In the name of science, I would take along a girl for the purpose of writing an article, but as no one is really THAT keen to accompany me, I will be giving it a skip. Look I’m sure one day someone will accompany me to a concert like this, but just not this time. Sorry.
If you would like to come right on Friday night at the Grand Arena at Grand West casino, call up the doll, click HERE to book a ticket at Computicket, and let the magic begin.
Oh I should also mention that Just Jinger are playing at Paul Cluver on Saturday night, 24 November 2007, click HERE for the whole shindig.
The Kirstenbosch summer sunset concerts also kick off right about this weekend, and you have to see a couple of these, they are a great reason to chill with friends, have a drink and see some awesome music. I’m sure I will be ambling around at a few of these concerts. A highlight is Seether, who are playing on the 6th of January 2008.
Come to think of it, there are so many highlights happening at Kirstenbosch and Cape Town is being spoiled this year with music! My top choices would be Seether, Plush, Goldfish, Watershed and The Rudimentals. Rad! Click HERE for the event calendar at Kirstenbosch.
Then don’t forget the SAA open golf tournament happening at the Pearl Valley Golf Estate in Paarl in the Western Cape from the 13th until the 16th of December 2007. Ernie Els, Retief Goosen and Greg Norman will be stumbling around the course trying to hit the little plastic ball thingy with a club and trying to get it into that thing where the flag is on the green. Click SAA Open for the details.
So that’s it really, another blinder of a summer.
Sean Lloyd
Editor
If you enjoyed this post, show your support. We appreciate it!
