A while back I had the privilege of watching the movie Shooter at the Cavendish movies(Where NEVILLE works) I usually only get excited like this for movies where Will Ferrell is starring…or Jenna Jameson. I walked out of Shooter and proclaimed that Mark Wahlberg is Hollywoods toughest action hero ever. I was so excited about the film that many nights of sleep were lost and I often cried thinking of how cool it would be if I knew him. Or even better, if he was my father. I have a Dutch passport so I can also say “Faja” instead of the English “Father” Anyway, time went by and I kept checking in at the video store to see if Shooter was in.
Then one day I walked in and saw it. It sat like a little piece of gold amongst the other inferior movies. I gave pumpkin tits at the counter my code and my cash and in return she presented me with a crispy new copy of Shooter. I cruised home, clutching it like you would your newborn child, gently tipped it into the DVD player and sat down by myself. I poured myself a little tipple, and braced myself for the time of my life. It’s not often that you get to sit down by yourself and have the time of your life. It was just me, Shooter and Absolut. Rarely does this happen. The last time I did this, technically on my own, was with the dogs and peanut butter…
Absolut Shooter
So let’s get serious here now for a second. I became completely obsessed with laying my hands on a copy of Shooter. I didn’t want to rent a copy, I wanted to own one, to have at my disposal at ALL times. I actually wanted to get two copies so I could eat one. I searched high…I searched low…I drank by myself…I went running by myself…I went to the beach by myself…and yet still no Shooter.
Until one morning I was sitting at my computer, typing out vast kegs of information when a call came through from one of my closest Entourage members. After a light early morning business chat, he mentioned that he was ordering Shooter on Kalahari.net. Immediately I said “Order two, I will give you the cash” It made sense, seeing as though I see him nearly every day. The order went through and eventually it arrived. However, there was a period of about two weeks where I never saw him.
Last week Monday I got a call saying “I will be in Pinelands at 6pm, I will call you and give you directions” Sweet! The call came through and I was directed through Pinelands, and was ordered to go right down Forest Drive to the end where the Old Mutual building is. At the robots before the very end ones, I had to take a right turn, and go right to the end where he was waiting at a big building.
The vibe I was feeling was quite strange as he was wearing a suit, and a bow tie and all that other rubbish. Not wanting to enquire, I acted all nonchalant. However, deep down inside, I felt like I was here as the fall guy. The guy who takes one for the team, and is killed for some sort of cult ritual. I did not know why he was in Pinelands, on his own, wearing a suit.
Eventually I could not take it anymore and asked “Why you looking so smart?” To which he replied “You know the Masons?”
Sweet Lord, not really. Why? What? When? Where? Who? “The Freemasons?” I eventually blurted out.
“Yeah, I’m one”
Ok, Sean, keep your composure, you will not die today! You will die at 100 years old in the Bahamas, sipping a cocktail while a naked beach waitress massages your very ripped body. I had heard of the Freemasons, but never really too intrigued, I never found out more about them.
The site of the “drop”
I then said, nervously “Ok I need to go now, check you in the week” Looking around I noticed a lot of old people going into the hall, and wondered what the HELL was going on! I got in the VR3 and floored it, wanting to get to the safety of an area that I know better.
As soon as I got home, I Wikepediad FREEMASONS I read through all the information, but I’m still not sure what angle they are going for. Luckily, I think there are no ritualistic killings of friends coming to pick up copies of Shooter, and so I was never in any danger whatsoever.
Once again, I got home, by myself, poured a tipple and slammed Shooter into the DVD player. Once again I felt at ease, like the planets were perfectly aligned and I had once again survived a day in this playground I call Cape Town.
Cape Town life is excessive, but I’m loving it. Thank you Shooter. Thank you Absolut. Thank you Kaap Stad.
It’s go time!
Sean Lloyd
Editor
If you enjoyed this post, show your support. We appreciate it!
