Before I start this I need to tell you a little about what happened on Friday afternoon. I woke up early, sent my various power e-mails to heads of state and then sat back waiting for my empire to grow. Waiting around tends to get tedious though and Alain from Casa del Sandenbergh invited me over for “a drink” at about 11am. We all know that a Friday drink at this time will end in me naked running down a main road in Hout Bay. Fortunately for you, me and the residents of Hout Bay, I kept my clothes on. I sat back admiring the view, which is not a terrible one I won’t lie and got started on hydrating myself as it was a scorching Friday.
Before long I was chilling on the lawn with a Savanna in hand and just digging my own vibe.(What? You say Savanna is a girls drink? I will drink whatever I like when the mood, and the occasion strikes) Those early drinks ended with me making a sneaky exit at about 4pm when I decided to cut my losses because things were going to get pear shaped. Which they did indeed when Kieran and Simon arrived. That was how I “spent” Friday.
The view of Hout Bay from Casa del Sandenbergh. Not a terrible one.
At some point during the weekend I got an sms from Carey(She is on BMP’s team) asking me if I was keen to go to the Ritz hotel in Sea Point for some or other Johnnie Walker party. I found the whole situation quite odd, you know, a friends girlfriend inviting me to a hotel in the evening. I said to her that I would sms back because I was not sure if I had any other plans and would need to consult the SLXS Entourage to see if they had planned anything else for me.
Anyway I sms’d Mike to see what he was doing, not telling him that Carey had invited me to the Ritz. He said he was going to the Ritz for some Johnnie Walker party and I should have received an invite from Carey. That’s when I told him that I had forgot about the invite, but I would indeed be going and I apologised for forgetting. Seriously, I was worried for a moment there that Carey was inviting me by myself.
So we rolled into the Ritz in the Mini, which is quite sick, nice one Carey darling. Now we are just waiting for Carey to go away for a weekend with family and then myself and Mike are going to take it for an advanced driving course. That car honestly handles on rails from what I have heard, and from what I will soon experience.
We arrived at the Ritz and were told by some foxy minx that we should park downstairs(Ha ha…You bet), which we promptly did. Now it’s not often that I get scared in Cape Town as I know everything. EVERYTHING. Except a few things which are not that important. And I usually have BMP close at hand to fend off random fans. But going into the Ritz parking I was scared. As in “I’m about to be chopped into a million pieces and fed to a pack of wolves” type scared. Scared like a scary movie scared.
The parking downstairs has an air of mystery and death to it, and the ceiling is only 1.8m tall. At times my head would have hit the pipes on the ceiling had I not crouched over into a foetal type position. The whole place just screamed freaky to me. There were cars parked under there that looked like they had not been moved in forever. Dust had been caked onto them and there were cars I had never even seen before because they were so old. Ducking and diving(And dodging and dipping naturally) we made it into the open, happy to have our lives intact. We then took the lift to the 21st floor where we were to be spending the evening.
The whole atmosphere in the Ritz is a little bit weird and I constantly thought I was on some sort of sleazy movie set. It felt so surreal in there, from the freaky parking garage to the old school decorating at the top floor with the red curtains and red lights. I’m sure this was for the Johnnie Walker red theme, but it felt sleazy. I think the photo below captures the strip joint vibe perfectly:
The sleaze factor was high
Anyway there was free food and booze which was nice, except when I bit into a staple in one of the pieces of food. At first I thought I had chipped a tooth and was chewing on it, until I bizarrely pulled a staple out my mouth. Are they trying to kill me? I think they are. So the top floor of the Ritz actually rotates which is quite a novel concept. I think it does one full rotation every 90 minutes which is quite cool.
We abused the food and basically just chilled by ourselves the whole night just eating and drinking. Well someone has to do it don’t they?
BMP and myself could actually not take the turning anymore and went down to the bar where the floor does not turn. Immediately I felt a bit better but I was still spinning somewhat. Clearly we had been completely abusing our free drinks privileges. Which we do from time to time.
The top of the Ritz is the restaurant and I suppose it’s quite cool to have dinner there and spin around, but the Ritz could do with a bit of a revamp to make it look modern and less like a place where the next thriller movie is going to be set.
The view from the Ritz towards Lions Head.
Looking towards Green Point Stadium from the 21st floor of the Ritz
I must be honest the views are spectacular and I could have dinner there with no problems while looking over Cape Town and spinning(From the floor and the drink) I will ask them to hold the side order of staples though.
So where is it?
Click HERE for what you need to know on the Ritz in Sea Point Cape Town.
Oh and afterwards we went for a beer at Neighbourhood…It feels like I have to go there all the time now because it’s so much fun. And so we watched the Springboks win the World Cup there on Saturday night. Pictures from the debauchery to follow.
Sean Lloyd
Editor
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