I just thought I would mention this to all you old drinkers out there. It’s nearly time for the FNB Whisky Live Festival 2007! YES! I won’t lie I don’t really drink whisky, but I plan to attend the event. I’m probably buying the drivers ticket so I don’t get to drink the booze. But maybe at the last minute I will change my mind and find another driver and smash it up with the Entourage.
I still remember last year, I was chilling at home minding my own business when I got the drunkest call in the world.
“Whishkeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy Live Feshtival come pick ush up”
They were so drunk it was a joke! I don’t think they could actually taste the flavours of the whisky, they were just downing the stuff like water. Mind you I have never been able to taste the intricate flavours of whisky. Can you really taste vanilla and peat in whisky? I think a lot of it is just drunk whisky tasters talk! You can’t possibly distinguish between ten different flavours in one drink can you?
I can see how they find these flavours, these old drunkard whisky tasters.
Drink one: Mother of God, this stuff is hideous! Tastes like gasoline!
Drink two: Ahhhhhhhhh it’s burning! Give me the milk I’m on fire!
Drink three: It stings my nostrils! Call the doctor I’m bleeding!
Drink four: It’s not so bad. More tingly than burning.
Drink five: Hey! Waitress! You come over here! You are in need of much punishment.
Drink six: Silence
Drink seven: (Looks in mirror) Damn, I look good! Going to go home and punish the wife tonight! Ooooh I’m dead sexy, look at my sexy body. Touch me naughty girl.
Drink seven: (Writes down the flavours) -Thinking in his head- This is terrible, it tastes like a burnt out clutch mixed with brake fluid. Wait I can’t say that, I’m being paid to say good stuff. Writes some notes- Oh delicious, like a refreshing river stream. Notes of patchouli, a hint of salty air and the tiniest whisper of a freshly cut vanilla pod. Oooooooh what’s that? Is that the faintest flair of pomegranate? I think it is!
Drink 8: The wife is going to be pissed at me tonight. I wonder is KFC is still open?
Drink 9: Night cap for the road. The wife is going to kill. Breath mints? Check. Game face? Check. Sober to drive? Better call the wife. Gripes.
Details of the festival:
The FNB Whisky Live Festival 2007 is taking place in Cape Town from the 31st 0f October until the 2nd of November. It starts at 18h00 and ends at 22h00 each night at the Cape Town International Convention Centre(CTICC)
For all the little details regarding who will be there, prices and booking and so on and so forth, click HERE for the FNB Whisky Live Festival 2007 website.
Be there. Or be sober.
Sean Lloyd
Editor
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