This is a very late Friday post and many of you may already be home from work and drunk. But I will write it anyway!

Today was a nice one, very relaxed and it was strange that I found myself with a bottle of Pongracz sparkling wine, which is South African( It’s only “champagne” if it’s from France. Or if it’s from the “Champagne” region in France. Not too sure and too lazy to check it out right now.) I was also in the company of two cans of USN Energy Spike, which is also made in South Africa. So I’m going for the whole Proudly South Africanthing here. Not to mention that it’s cheaper, which I suppose does not fit with my whole “Excess” thing I have going on. But our South African guys and girls deserve support as well. I could have gone for Mumm and Red Bull, or even Moet and Red Bull. But that’s like French and German or something like that. I wanted South African and South African.

Get in my belly

Anyway, I never opened the sparklers or the USN. I’m saving that for pre-drinks at my place before The Old Biscuit Mill in Woodstock tonight where I’m going to be entertained by Layo and Bushwacka, who according to the organisers of the event are fresh from London and Ibiza. I like it!

A quick random misfire of a neuron in my brain has landed me at the following question. If you reverse up a one way street, and the traffic police catch you, and you then put the car into “forward”, and go forward, can they still give you trouble about it?

I’m sorry for that previous paragraph, the excitement of the weekend is catching up to me.

I also took a drive past Llandudno earlier today because I thought the weather looked nice. But it was actually a little chilly today so I gave it a skip once I arrived there. It’s a pity because my pink Speedo is just JUMPING out of my bag at the moment.

Llandudno today: Chilly in my pants

Anyway, until Monday, I hope you all have a mad weekend filled with friends and craziness and of course…excess.

Until then.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

It is quite well known that I keep a vast selection of magazines around my house, in various cupboards and other storage vaults I have in the house. I can’t for the life of me throw them out because they always come in handy. I might only look at four magazines in the year for reference purposes, but there is nothing worse than remembering reading an article, and you don’t have the magazine anymore. This messes my head up and now I don’t throw them away anymore.

Taking a stroll around this morning, I saw a variety of different magazines. To name a few, or all of them: Men’s Health, Men’s Health Living, Men’s Health Best Life, Sports Illustrated(Including every South African Sports Illustrated Swimwear Issue…I know), Bicycling, Ride magazine, GQ, a copy of Heat (Don’t ask), Time magazine, Mountain Bike Action and others stored in various facilities.

So it was a treat when I opened up an old GQ this morning and read over their little piece on mantlepiecing.

Basically, what you do, is you mantlepiece peoples houses. Preferably people you don’t know. You take a recent photo of yourself, preferably pulling a bizarre face or sporting a moustache or something. You then quietly place this photo on the persons mantlepiece, alongside their photos of great grandparents and the like. You then just leave it at that.

Most people have mantlepieces with photos that have been on them forever. So they never really check the photos, and your mug might sit there for months before anyone notices. When they do find it…it will be hilarious as they scramble throught their minds to figure out who the idiot is on their mantlepiece! Obviously you will never see this happen, but it’s fun knowing that they will find your photo one day!

What I have done is a little bit of mantlepiecing for a photo here. Please enjoy the photo of myself, with the arrow, which was taken when I was 10 years old or something. I actually have no idea how old I was, I’m just making it up. That photo actually currently sits on the massive antique wooden desk that has just been delivered to my house. I must show you a photo of this desk, it’s disgustingly awesome! That photo is also the only photo on my desk. I’m so vain! So please look at the situation below. Young Sean, and then all the old school family photos. Classic!

Good times 

It’s such a cool thing to do in summer when you are constantly invited to random house parties.

So come on people, this summer let’s have some fun. Let’s mantlepiece!

And next up we might even show you some “Antiquing”

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

The Cape Argus/ Pick ‘n Pay Cycle Tour entries are about to come to a close, so get your entries in. Currently they are just over 90% full.
What are the reasons for entering:

Well there is nothing more embarrassing than arriving on the beach with a T-shirt tan and a cycling socks tan. Not to mention a tanned face. Then there are the roasties from crashing, the constant pain in your ass, the thousands of rands spent on equipment, supplements, the correct diet, the early morning and early nights and the complete lack of a social life.

Come to think of it I might just have to fake an injury.

Seriously though, it’s the best day of cycling you will have around Cape Town, so enter now at www.cycletour.co.za

The Editor will be on the road in March 2008, which is a good enough reason to be there!

This is YOU in March 2008 complete with raging “pistons” 

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I really don’t know what to say about this development, other than that I want an apartment at Paramount Towers. It’s rare for me to be this excited about something, but this is the epitome of city living, SLXS style.

I had wanted to show you these photos, but Pam Golding, the agents for Paramount Towers, have a copyright rule on their website. No problem for SLXS though! I swiftly got in contact with Beverley Bloch, who then put me in contact with Jessica, who spoke to Anna Davis, the Western Cape Marketing Manager for Pam Golding, and I was then granted permission to use the photos. And suddenly SLXS were back in business!

I could think of nothing better than waking up in the morning, in my two bedroom apartment at Paramount Towers. I might have even slept in the lounge, in front of my flat screen TV, with the Playstation set up, my PVR decoder and a sound system to blow the roof off. Perhaps even a small faux-fur throw over, some vodka…who knows? The possibilities are endless. Gisele Bundchen?

I would wake up, have a shower and then admire the view of the mountain, then quickly shoot down to the the Virgin Active for a quick set of gun curls. After that, I might like to go to Pick ‘n Pay and get some food to fuel my ripped muscles. And then after that…who knows? Maybe go to the beach for a spot of sun and a drink after that. And then do it all again the next day. This is how to live! This is how to live excessively…

Just down the road from the Paramount Towers you have Newlands cricket ground, Newlands Rugby Stadium and Kelvin Grove, where I have a membership. Kelvin is like a second home to me and I normally live around the pool in summer, and also the pool bar where I quench my raging thirst. Paramount Towers is so central to the action of  Cape Town life it’s not even funny. You will literally have so much to do you will retire early just to play in Cape Town.

For more information on living the SLXS dream in a city environment, see the Paramount Towers website.

Enjoy the photos, and do have a stroll around the website to check out the full package. Then do the right thing and move in next year. It’s like paying your TV license…it’s the right thing to do.

I know you want to. You want to eat Paramount Towers. I know I’m keen.

You can also contact Bev Bloch for more information, and her details are on the link I have given above.

Paramount Towers currently still under construction.

Paramount Towers by day upon completion in 2008

Paramount Towers by night upon completion in 2008

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Having lived in Claremont for the better part of my much younger years, I have always had a good feel about it. I grew up there, I partied there and I eventually finished school while living in Claremont. I remember the days of partying at clubs and bars such as Billy the Bums (Now Sobhar), Conti’s (Continental Drift, but it has now been closed), Fubar (Closed now, but it was previously Blink) and The Green Man(Now Tin Roof). Then there was Late Edition, which changed to “Town” and which now presents itself as Wadda.

It was always confusing having a club named “Town” in Claremont because people would say they were going to town, which normally means the centre of Cape Town. When in actual fact they were just going to Claremont.

Having grown up in Claremont, I became used to it and even though the Main Road started to look messy, I still liked the place because it had treated me quite well over the years! I am a true son of Claremont.

Then suddenly developers started coming into Claremont to try and clean up it’s image by adding top quality car showrooms, apartments and they are now connecting the Cavendish shopping centre to “The Link”, which is now going to become “Cavendish Connect” The Link always seemed to be the neglected piece of Cavendish shopping centre, as it was not as upmarket and was physically seperate from Cavendish, albeit by only a couple of metres. It just never seemed to have the same feel as Cavendish and I never found myself visiting The Link all that often.

Claremont Main Road finds itself in a position of power these days. It is now the place to be, with only the best apartments and shops being built. I decided to go and have a look what is going on in my old neighbourhood. For the first part of this small series on Claremont and it’s developments, I will just show you what is happening.

The Claremont Main Road is dominated by excess at first sight. There is nothing but the very best, and it is all just trendy apartments and car showrooms.

Just off the main road, you walk past the Apple store where you can drop a few thousand South African rand on a Macbook Pro. You can then go look for a car at Mercedes, or adjacent from Mercedes Benz, you can have a look for a new set of wheels at the Honda Chrysler dealership. In this same stretch of road, we find Intaba, another set of apartments/ penthouses. These are seriously superstyling, and range in price from R2.06 million – R5 million. The name does not make it sound quite as awesome as it is, but let’s just forget about that for the moment. It just seems strange to me though. It’s not a word that is generally understood, and I don’t understand it. It is a bit bizarre. But the place is great nonetheless.

Intaba

Going further down the road, you can also stop in at the BMW/ Mini dealership. There is nothing like a Mini Cooper S to match your brand new city apartment.Wait, let’s take it a step at a time:

The most notable development at the moment would have to be the new Engen petrol station which incorporates a 24 hour Woolworths, a Steers and a video store. It is THE place to be after a night out. Last night I distinctly remember a couple of friends hitting the Steers hard, after a night out at Wadda. I was driving so I did not have a raging hunger from countless drinks but I was impressed by the establishment as it is top quality, from the finishes in the shop to the food available.

Opposite from Engen is Sobhar, which has seen a notable decline in people from my circle of friends of late, due to the emergence of Tiger Tiger. I used to party hard when it was Billy the Bums, but I have drifted away from it now. Billy the Bums was legendary, as anyone who ever partied there will agree. Opposite from Sobhar, in the same “Newlands on Main” building, is Cubana. Click that link for the must know on Cubana.

Newlands on Main, incorporating Sobhar, Cubana, Honda and Chrysler/ Jeep/ Dodge

We then take a stroll further down the road where there is a development that SLXS definitely endorses. It is the Paramount Towers which, when finished, will incorporate a new 6000 square metre Pick ‘n Pay, a Virgin Active gym plus 61 apartments. These will be made up of 11 penthouses and 50 apartments with choices of 1, 2 or 3 bedrooms. Can somebody spell excess?! To be honest, that is the dream right there and prices start at R 975,000 with occupation starting in 2008.

Paramount Towers: You will want to live here when it’s complete

Further down we reach another set of apartments aptly named “The Claremont” Not very imaginative but a cool set of apartments anyway! They are very young and trendy, being right at the heart of the Claremont clubbing scene. So you can go out, have a party, and literally cross the street to your apartment which might seem like a bit of a dream, but is in actual fact real. There are also some ridiculously good looking people who live in The Claremont because SLXS know these things. Trust me.

The Claremont, where some good looking people live.

Astonishingly, The Claremont is comprised of 272 apartments, and there are only 2 apartments per passage which makes it nice and private. Just what you need when coming home late at night making a noise. Another nice addittion is Coimbra below the apartments, where there is a bakery and you can also enjoy coffee and light meals.

Then you walk further, past the night clubs and you go to the other end of the road, to the Virgin Active gym. Here we find yet another set of apartments, with a very cool name, Seven Miles South. Definitely more trendy than “The Claremont” Opposite from this we have the BMW/ Mini showroom and that is where most of the developments on the Main Road end.

Seven Miles South. Not sure what that is in kilometres.

I personally believe that when Claremont Main Road is completely revamped, it is going to be the next big thing. I can’t think of a nicer city area to live in, and would have no problem in having a shelter at Paramount Towers. With a gym to buff up in, a Pick ‘n Pay to feed yourself at, internet access for business and all the night clubs on your doorstep, you have everything you need for a life of excess right at your fingertips.

Walking through Claremont these days, there is a different feel about it. I know the old Claremont, and now I feel like I’m getting to know the new one and it blows my mind. Developers don’t just spend R300 million, like they did on The Claremont, if they don’t think it has potential to be a huge success. That type of money is no pocket change.

I predict big things for Claremont, and in the next part of this article I will let you know what Ian Iversen had to say to SLXS about the developments and the general upliftment of the area. Then after that I bring you a Loerie Award winner from a local design student to help you live a true city lifestyle. I also have a little extra on Paramount Towers. Wicked.

“Awesome” I hear you say.

Awesome indeed.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

So myself and Charlie V were cruising around scouting Cape Town today and we cruised past the Woolworths in Klipfontein Road, Rondebosch. In the VR3 naturally. We were milling around the little shopping centre and we passed Mel’s Village Kitchen.

Suddenly Charlie V had an idea. He thought he should stand in front of the sign and act like the village idiot, which he duly did. I pulled out the Sony, took a photo, some poor Photoshopping was done and here we have it! Charlie V, Mel’s Village Idiot!

The things we do in Cape Town would have us deported from most cities. But, it’s part of our lives.

Please enjoy Charlie V’s facial expression. GOSH! IDIOT!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Hello everybody

This is your captain speaking! I thought I would just write a little note here to fill in the time between now and my next article on Claremont Main Road. We have photos of the apartments, word from councillor Ian Iversen on the developments happening and then I have something that might intrigue you. Obviously living in an apartment you don’t really have a garden. So what I have done is scout around for something to help you out, and I found the answer in a Loerie Award winner. Fantastic!

The rugby was quite amusing yesterday, with Bryan Habana making a bit of a mockery of the game. I enjoyed his second try(I think his second) where he went over the line while some unfortunate fellow tried to tackle him. Anyway, he scored the try and when he got up, he gave that Samoan guy a little pat on the head as if to say “Sorry bugger, the CHAMP IS HERE!” I thought it was quality stuff and a sort of humour that you are born with. Well done Bryan! I enjoyed it.

I also enjoyed this photo in the SoccerLife & Sport section of the Sunday Times of Bryan. Enjoy the current size of his gun, which can only be compared to a nuclear warhead. It IS bigger than his own head. Not to mention the fact that it IS bigger than that kids torso. I saw Bryan at Tiger Tiger a while back and I actually thought he was quite small. I suppose I was wrong.

I hope you have the safety lock on that weapon, Bryan. 

I think Bryan is clearly well too aware that the only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show…and see if she likes the goods. I believe that is his main motivation for sculpting such a set of guns. I mean, is it really necessary to have two hand cannons when all you need to do is run fast?

It also reminds me of that classic line that you just have to use at the gym. After doing a couple of gun curls, you walk up to the most beautiful girl in the gym and ask:

“Excuse me, do you know of a good vet?”

She might say something, but more often than not she will be speechless. You then point to both of your guns, and utter this Adonis like line:

“Cos these puppies are sick!”

Yes.

I did just write that! I am completely mad today! Contrary to popular belief I am not abusing substances either.

Today brings new inspiration as I really feel like Spring is here. The sun is shining and I’m wearing shorts so it’s a sign of good things to come.

I’m going to go and mingle somewhere like a bar right now, but I will be back.

“I’ll be back”

Come to think of it, that would make a really cool line in a movie! An action movie though, none of this Hugh Grant stuff. It could actually become a classic line. Imagine…um…let’s say…say someone as mad as Arnold Schwarzenegger(I typed this from memory, I hope the spelling is correct) had to utter that line? Just imagine! It would be off the hook.

Actually that’s a stupid idea, I suppose it’s way too crazy to actually work.

That’s it for now.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Alright, firstly for next week: I have all the information I need for my article on Claremont Main Road, so I will type that up soon and hopefully you can all read that next week.

Then our boys are playing in their first World Cup game on Sunday. It’s the Springboks vs Samoa at 16:00.

And then according to The Tatler, the next “Sowing the seeds” concert is taking place on Sunday 9 September from 2pm at the Old Biscuit Mill, Albert Road, Woodstock. Apparently it is the run up to the massive festival, Rocking The Daisies

The Tatler have made it all a bit confusing, but from what I believe, the concert on Sunday is R50, and Rory Eliot and the Reason will be playing there. As you might know, we watched the live recording of their music video a while back.

The Old Biscuit Mill is great fun though, and you should pay a visit to the market on a Saturday morning which is a good time filled with good food, good drink and evidently all of Cape Town’s most good looking people.

So much to do this weekend it’s mad!

I’m getting ready for the “Tea party” though, so that is keeping me occupied.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

And as we all know, some of you will be going out to get phuza drunk. I however, am staying home tonight, so enjoy Cape Town everyone, but I have been invited to a “Madhatters Tea Party” in Hout Bay on Saturday, however I doubt there will be any tea on this occasion. I need to save my strength. How crazy is that? A Madhatters Tea Party, at 11am on a Saturday morning! It should be excess at the highest level! I hope the weather is nice, and I wish you could all be there.

On the topic of going out and drinking, it’s obvious that we don’t want you to drink and drive. Which is why my friends always organise lifts way before we go out. However, if you cannot do this, help will soon be on it’s way.

The Bang Bang Club in town, and Wadda in Claremont, have teamed up with transport service provider( I suppose we could say ‘lift club’ here. Or something to that effect) Rikki’s to make sure their customers get home safe. From the newsletter I received, I have learnt that at the entrance to these clubs, there will be a phone booth installed and it will be supervised by managers, staff and bouncers to assist you in any way possible. This booth will obviously call Rikki’s, so you can arrive home debauched, but safe.

I think this is the greatest idea since the invention of the nightclub! I must be honest, of late I have heard of way too many accidents involving drunk drivers and it’s just not worth going out and driving. Rather have a few drinks, and then chill in the back of a cab while you get driven home! Rikki’s will also offer a service where they will fetch you at home and drop you at the club.

Does life get any better? I don’t think so. These services are not yet available, but they will soon be. I think it’s great that nightclubs are taking an active approach to making sure their clientèle get home safely, and I’m sure these services will see other clubs taking the same approach in Cape Town. Well at least I hope so.

Other than that, party wise, Tiger Tiger was awesome on Tuesday, thanks to Marcell and JJ for the drinks, I had an AWESOME time. I think the whole town knows I had an awesome time. Then next weekend, the 15th September, we are going to see Layo & Bushwacka(Fresh from Ibiza, London and Berlin) so that could be a good party. The details of the venue and times are still under cover, but we will let you know how the party goes with photos and all the usual stuff. Actually come to think of it I hope I crack the invite! Maybe getting a little ahead of myself here…

Tomorrows Friday, the weekend will hit hard, so enjoy the rest of the day.

Oh and Wadda are hosting a Playboy Mansion party on Saturday night. I can’t make it as the Tea Party apparently extends into the night. But girls if you are going, dress like bunnies. And guys…you know what to do. Silk robes just like Hef himself.

You stay classy planet earth.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

This website is so excessive! It’s a place where you can win prizes, for no entry fee. Currently the Polo GTI and Opel Astra GTC are looking good in my eyes. But there are lots of other things as well.

Basically, you enter for free, fill out a questionnaire, and you are on your way. Oh, and you also have to register on the site.

I was alerted to this site by Mike from the advertising agency, and the line “If it’s free it’s for me” seems to crop up in my mind right about now.

It’s not often you get things for free these days, which is kind of cool. Go and have a look at the site, read the FAQ’s and then get winning.

HURRY!

For Win Now, click HERE. And did I tell you it’s only for people in South Africa? Which makes your chances of winning even greater. I like it already.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

If you still want to say next year that you took part in the worlds biggest timed cycle race, then go HERE to enter.

Entries opened on the 1st September and they are going fast. I entered yesterday afternoon when the entries were about 48% full. Not even 24 hours later( 6:05am today, 6 September) the entries are at nearly 57% full. That’s nearly an 8% increase in less than a day. My guess is that by Monday next week they should all be taken, and I think today is the perfect day to get those entries in!

The downside for me is that I now need to start training, and organise a road bike, as I’m not riding it on a mountain bike again next year! I have ridden about 7 cycle tours on a mountain bike, and it’s not ideal.

So get those entries in and let’s start training. Well maybe I will only start training in January!

Keep cool my babies.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

That is correct.

I used to do the odd spot of writing for the Reporter website, and after getting a few articles published I decided that I wanted my photo to be seen. I was that vain at the time!

Anyway, I had done a walk/ run up Lions Head with Mike P and we had done a series of photos that can only be called bizarre. I must actually post the one of Mike holding up Robben Island. We were clearly suffering from altitude sickness, hence the stupid photos.

So as a joke, I sent the photo in, with the most bizarre caption ever. The next thing I knew, I was on the front page of the website! It’s mad, I know. Where will the madness stop? Enjoy the caption. And the view. It’s amazing from up there. Lions Head is a little bit too “commercial” though at peak hours, and you find yourself in the company of too many people, which takes away from the whole nature feeling. But you have to climb Lions Head, the view from up there is crazy!

The caption reads: Fairest Cape: Sean Lloyd, an intrepid writer and explorer, gazes over the land from Lions Head, Cape Town. Picture sent in by Sean Lloyd.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

A couple of weeks back myself and Charlie V paid a visit to the workshop, where Charlie V had some sort of urge to cast a base for a lamp out of aluminium. Why you ask? Absolutely no idea, but he might like to say “Because I can”

Anyway, the workshop is a magical place and it’s full of all sorts of things to play with, break, grind, weld, hammer and cut. We spent a good couple of hours there and while Charlie packed the sand to cast the base, I strolled around aimlessly trying to cause as much mayhem as possible.

It’s like an untapped wonder world there, and would keep a kid entertained for hours. So as you can guess, I was kept entertained for hours.

My first stop was to take a look at all the Lego toys there. There were some dinosaurs and then there were even some scale models of buildings, which had me thinking if they had built people, to scale, for the buildings. I think they should. What? You can’t do it? It’s too intricate? Well I want it done. Get to work people!

What was I doing? Highly odd

Then I tested out the world slowest drill. I have never seen something so pathetic in my life! It would have literally taken me the entire year to drill through a phone book. Apparently all new cars are made with these drills. It takes 42 years to make the new Mini, hence the waiting list for them. This drill also built the Ford Model T. And Trump Towers in New York.

I’m still drilling to this day

Right now you might be thinking, what is the point of this article? What’s so excessive? Keep cool my babies, I will get to that now. Which is now.

This is actually on the opposite end of the excess scale, which had me amused. In between drilling and melting metal, I managed to find a 200ml Windhoek Draught beer can! That’s like un-excess! I think that’s quite mad really, and I have never seen one. It’s a really nice way of helping your kids get into drinking…oh wait that’s illegal. Anyway, I thought it was really cool and it deserved a mention. I’m sure you have not seen that around too much.

I would not really know what to do with such a small can, but I’m sure the advertising industry would find something useful for it.

Four hundred of these should give you a nice hang over. I tried to Photoshop my face out because it scares a lot of readers away. But the Photoshopping seemed like a lot of work.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

My article entitled “The worlds best deodorant” might come in handy here.

I was just reading an article on why women should not use deodorants that contain aluminium. Read it HERE. It’s got to do with breast cancer, so I think it’s important that you read this.

At SLXS, we recommended an awesome deodorant a little while back.

SLXS, watching out for your health now as well.

We stop at nothing to offer you the best!

So ladies, do pay Dis-Chem a visit sometime soon. And guys for that matter.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

You might recall the review I did on my current phone(It won’t be current for long if it keeps playing around) Anyway, I took the phone back, about four days later it was ready, and I was happy.

The invoice says “Not charging/intermittent/charger/short battery life.”

Then it says that they replaced the battery at a total cost of R270 and a few cents. Obviously it cost me nothing because it was under warranty.

Well then…what do I have to say about this?

The battery still lasts only two days! Most times I charge it, it actually lasts slightly under two days.

So let me take a guess here. Vodacom initially found that the battery indeed did need replacing. So there WAS something wrong with the battery. Now I supposedly have a new one. But what are the chances that two batteries in a row are faulty?

Let me take another guess and say that Vodacom think I am a complete idiot, and they did not replace the battery.

I’m not accusing them of not replacing the battery and then saying they did. But I am suspicious.

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t have all day to drive back and forth to Canal Walk to get my phone fixed. Nor do I enjoy driving to Canal Walk, standing in queues and battling with Vodacom.

I will take the phone back during the week, and then see what happens this time.

Vodacom, you don’t want to mess with the bull.

Because you’ll get the horns.

Sean Lloyd

Editor