0 Comments Have you been approached?

I think the most hilarious guy in Cape Town at the moment is this guy. If you live in Cape Town and frequent the Claremont/ Kenilworth area then you WILL know of him.

I’m talking about the guy who has seemingly magical powers. Out of nowhere…BOOM…he is in your face! It happened to me about an hour ago. I was saddling up in the VR3 to leave the Spar in Rosmead Avenue, and as I clipped my radio face in, I looked ahead. And there in front of me was the man. Wearing orange today to funk himself up, he was trying to sell me a book…AGAIN. I think he does something for the Church, and this is his way of promoting religion or something. It seems a bit odd to me to be honest!

The first time I came to know of the man was in Cavendish Square in Claremont. I was just chilling, trying to pay my parking when he walked up to me, holding out a book, and said “Here, have a book” Not wanting to be rude or anything, I took the book, and with an awkward tone, muttered out a “Thanks”

I then turned to walk away and he said “That’s R20″ I looked at him like he was on drugs, or to put it better, I looked at him the way you look at your dog after it has pissed all over your Egyptian linen on your new bed. I then handed him back the book, and walked off. I have never really had a conversation with him because he freaks me out a little bit. And I don’t want to be freaked out. I just want to live a normal life. Cavendish is definitely his hunting ground, but I am wise now. When I see him, I turn around and RUN! Like Maurice Green. Fast. Has anyone else had the discomfort of meeting this guy, or just being offered a book?

It brings to mind the rose lady that scours the nightclubs of Claremont. She sells roses for charity or something, and anytime you are speaking to a girl she approaches you insisting you buy a rose. Listen, charity is cool, but when you are out at night, most probably drunk, do you really want to buy a rose? NO!

And besides, how do you think a girl is supposed to carry a rose around the whole night without poking someones eye out? Let’s not be stupid here rose lady! And she sometimes looks at me like I have murdered a kitten when I don’t buy a rose. Weird. There used to be a group on Facebook(Not sure if it still exists) called “Mumble mumble…the rose ladies coming!” This is because people used to mumble randomly when she approached to avoid her. Or they would just pretend to be having a really serious conversation. Classic!

There two people are definitely two of Cape Towns weirdest, and I’m not quite sure what they do. They are intriguing though.

So look out for the man at Cavendish Square and the rose lady at Claremont. It will shatter your mind into little biscuits seeing how these two operate.

Sean Lloyd

Editor