0 Comments Investing in winter

Obviously being the whole “creative” type, I don’t sit around at home waiting for awesome articles to hit me in the face. No no, I go out on the town and chat to people, and in the process articles just appear in my head and then I write them. Then you read them and hopefully laugh and enjoy them. But as all my work is based on actual truth, and not just made up stuff, it takes a bit of time to do the various research on them and so I cannot blow your mind every day with an awesome Cape Town article.

So you will see I will post articles on a variety of things that I believe will interest you. And that is how todays article comes in. I obviously have articles being created on the Mount Nelson Hotel, the stadium being built for the 2010 World Cup and all sorts of other things. But to get the whole magazine experience, I feel this very necessary. And I’m sure so do you.

But before we get into that…I have a copy of the 5 June HELLO!(Why is it necessary to shout this?) and in the back there is an article on tomatoes. They are a fruit. I never knew that. Well you learn something new everyday I suppose.

So while I was out last night, I stumbled upon a conversation that immediately had me thinking “That’s a good article, my Editor will be pleased with me!” Obviously I am the Editor and so I was fairly pleased with myself. Naturally.

I obviously write these sorts of articles to be geared towards guys, because I can’t write articles geared towards women. Being young, I have no idea what women are thinking. But seeing some older people, they don’t seem to have a clue either. So I don’t feel too stupid. Read Cosmopolitan for that, they are really good.

We got onto the topic of investing in winter. Not with money, but with attitude. You know what winter is like, it’s cold outside, warm inside, other people are warm, and so the term “cuddling” might be appropriate for winter. You will find yourself out in a club or a restaurant saying “It’s so damn cold, I just want to cuddle!” At this very moment a saucy little minx will enter the restaurant.

You can see her from a mile away. Silky smooth locks just dripping with fresh rain water,those sexy come to bed eyes, an air of grace about her and an attitude to kill any socially inapt(Inept? Will check this) men. You will see her enter the restaurant, delicately sauntering in wearing her Jimmy Choo shoes.

As she walks past you brushing you with her D&G trench coat, bought in Milan, you will feel yourself wanting to take your cold dessert spoon, and smacking her ass ever so delicately. Booiiiing. However, as an SLXS reader, you will have more control than this. Because I will teach you the way.

Obviously she will have the most delicate of features. Fine skin, high cheekbones, cute little ears that you just want to nibble on. Not just yet tiger.

Did it ever occur to you that she might be wearing a 20 kilogram coat to hide something? Did it ever occur to you that she might not be hitting the gym as often as you would like?

You see winter is a precarious time, where people with no control seem to hook up with girls, and maybe even have a bit of a relationship going. However, being a suave man about town, you would see winter as your “Investment” phase.

Winter you see, is the time where you build the foundations. You don’t build the house just yet. You walk through clubs, chatting to girls, keeping them entertained, and then you leave them hanging somewhat. You will see in their eyes that they are about to ask you to come back to their place, or they are going to invite themselves to your apartment. This is when you make your exit.

“Sorry sweetheart, I really have to go chat to my friends, it was nice meeting you and hopefully I will see you again”

You have now laid the foundation. Over the winter months, this girl will continually see you out, and as it gets colder, as the darkness deepens, she will want you more and more. She does not want a damn gas heater to keep warm, or her cute little puppy, or her feather down duvet,she wants YOU! But you keep her at bay. You keep mingling, chat to other people, keep your composure, act icy cool just like the weather.

As the rain beats down and she gets ever more lonely, she might even consider that you don’t like her all that much. She might even…gasp…try seeing other guys. But deep down she will be thinking of you, the guy who chatted to her so nicely, never even suggesting anything in the way of taking her home. She will know that you have class and style. She will admire you for not just taking her home the first night you met. She will want to know what makes you different and why you are different in your behaviour from the other guys out.

And then, as the days get longer and the sun starts to show its presence in the mornings, you will find yourself in a situation where this girl will no longer be able to stop thinking about you. The sunlight will make her happy, she will see you again and think of those magical conversations you had in winter. And finally, you will be able to take her to the beach.

Now you can see her fine form, no coats, jewellery, jerseys and the like. And finally you will be able to see the body of the mynx. Now if it is not quite to your liking, you have not committed to anything. At this stage, you are just friends. However is she turns out to be an absolute fox, you are in there!

You will also chuckle as you see how many people break up in summer, realising that they hooked up in winter. You sir, have taken your time, built a solid foundation, and now it’s time for summer fun!

So while you sit around in this terrible winter…wait…what is this whole concept of “Global warming” I’m freezing! And Britain is in floods. So much for warming, it’s quite chilly! Scientists clearly have no idea what is happening.

So yes…while winter might be getting you down, keep your composure young squire. Take my advice, the advice I gleaned from a conversation at the night club Tiger Tiger last night, and reap the rewards.

The weather should be getting nice and warm in November, and as the layers of clothes come off, as the bikinis come out(The skimpy bikinis) you will finally see your investment being uncovered. It may take time, but it’s worth it. You don’t expect to buy shares in a company, and then sell them that same evening for a huge profit. Sometimes this may work, but not always. Rather do the investing phase in winter, and cash in in summer.

So take the time to chat to women in winter, act cool, don’t mention anything about getting together, show them your humour and your immense knowledge of the world.

Then watch as come summer time, all she wants to do is smear you in suntan OIL and…

Well…

Hit the beach of course.

Take it easy out there.

Sean Lloyd

Editor