Imagine how excited a girl will be if she gets this from you?!
I think this is quite hilarious, as I never even knew this existed anymore.
I’m used to e-mails, sms’s and remember those things…letters!
So it was with some amusement that I checked the post today, to find a telegram! That is hilarious, seriously, who would do this?( I won’t tell you, it’s off the hook)
It was a Telkom telegram, and I actually find it quite cool. It’s seriously old school, and I quite enjoy it. Who knew that people would still use such old school means to communicate? I think this telegram might just start some sort of trend between myself and my friends. Or imagine inviting people to your birthday by sending them a telegram, I think it’s quite genius, and a unique approach to communication. I just need to find out how to send one, I actually have no clue. I have never even seen a telegram to be honest.
But then I came upon this realisation! Say you meet a girl…and I always apply the three day rule. I don’t sms or call for like two or three days. So say you meet a girl on Monday…you can actually take out the 9 or 10 day rule! You send her a telegram, and I’m not sure how long it takes to send, but you make sure it reaches her about 10 days after you met. That way she thinks you are in some far fetched place like Guam! Or it tells her that you are an intrepid explorer, and don’t often have contact with civilization. Chicks dig these type of guys, like the Camel man, only this is better! You could be living in your little cabana hut alongside the beach in Cape Town.
All the while this girl has this image of you being like Mike Horn, circumnavigating the globe by yourself. But I think what is in the message is the deal breaker. You say something along these lines:
Hello pumpkin tits
I’m joking, don’t say that.
So you do this, if her name is Annique:
Hi Annique, hope you are well, sorry can’t be long, not sure when this hurricane will cut communication again. Sitting in Yemen at the moment, knee deep in mud, but the kids are where my heart lies. I’m dragging bags of rice up a 400 metre slope to keep it from going bad. It’s for the orphans here, they have no food. It’s heart breaking seeing them like this, but every little bit helps. Hope to see you soon if I can get out, transport routes are gone, I hope I can get out of here, and save all these kids, it’s brutal out here.
Will try keep in contact
Sean
Let’s all just take this in for a moment
WOW!
I
AM
A
GENIUS!
Can you for one moment imagine how in love with you this girl will be?! I can’t! She will actually think you are Leo from Titanic! Already, just reading this, she will be thinking of the two of you, safe from hurricanes in your Cape Town apartment, all warm with a glass of wine. She will be visualising you crooning Lionel Ritchies “All Night Long” to her, while she stares at you, in awe, and wonders “How did I hook up with this Adonis!”
The crazy thing is, while you are sending this she will be thinking that you are suffering at the hand of the elements. Meanwhile you will be watching the Cape Town sunset, drinking a Windhoek beer, and having a nice little cook off on the deck of your palace, chatting to your mates who will also be amazed at the genius of this all!
Obviously you would want to keep away from anywhere where she is going to be for a while.
But on the odd chance that she does see you in town, you just say to her:
Yeah, sorry just arrived back four hours ago, we managed to catch a plane going out. The kids are safe, I built them a shelter with my bare hands from sticks and stones. They will be fine, I’m going back soon to visit.
It’s foolproof!
I think it’s well worth a try, this whole telegram thing. It gives you a very mysterious air about you, and girls love that. They love thinking that they are seeing a one of a kind man, a true explorer. Meanwhile…you have been eating Woolworths food, showering using your Hugo Boss shower gel and watching satellite TV.
I think it’s brilliant and sometimes I even think “How did I come up with such an AWESOME idea?”
Let me know how it goes out there
Sean Lloyd
Editor
