Charlie V and the VR3- Admiring the Hout Bay harbour from up high
For the first part of this series, click HERE
I set out early yesterday with wingman Charlie V, in the VR3. After battling last week to find out where exactly this infamous Dungeons place is, we decided to try again, half way through a new week. The drive through Hout Bay was quite interesting, as it seems that of late I seem to spend all my time in Hout Bay. The weather was again uncharacteristically warm for winter. We searched around for quite a while, trying to get to the mystical Dungeons, and ended up driving around for about 25 minutes, just going in circles. Our trip was going alright though until the VR3 decided to start playing with us by letting it’s oil light buzz. For the entire trip. It was quite odd considering the car was full of oil. So we got out and checked the connection, and it was fine. We had to sit with the most irritating noise the entire time, but the views kind of made it worth it.
We had been stuck in a residential area for about 20 minutes when we decided that we were going in completely the wrong direction. We were now heading the opposite way of our destination and pointed the VR3 in the general direction of the harbour, a place we know too well. We were driving past the harbour when suddenly Charlie V shouted,
“There it is!”
“What?”
“It’s what we are looking for, turn around, we missed the turn off on the right”
The VR3 was jammed to a stand still as I stood on the brake pedals.The VR3’s new Pirelli’s brought it to a stop in no time. I did an illegal U-turn, and drove back about 50 metres where I took a left turn. We had not driven for 30 seconds before I hit a dirt road which was making me feel a bit nervous. The VR3 is an accomplished vehicle, but this road was looking more suited to a vehicle of the Jeep Wrangler variety. I decided to send it through anyway, and the vehicle performed admirably. It seems that it has more abilities than previously thought. It is now set to be the most feared vehicle in Cape Town, on and off the road. The VR3 is clearly willing to take the road less travelled. We drove along this dirt road in a very uncomfortable fashion and I could not help but thinking that we were going to get stuck. We were all alone on this road, with a fantastic view, but I was feeling a little on the edge. Especially when we saw signs saying that this was a private road. I never knew what sort of security measures were in place in this part of the world.
We had just reached a sign, and it made us aware that we were definitely not allowed to enter this particular stretch of road. It was one of those moments in life where you truly feel out of place. It was a sense of deja vu, and I realised that maybe I had been here before.
Then it occured to me that I had not been here, there was no ways I had travelled this road before. But I had seen a sight like this before. It finally dawned on me that this was a scene from so many movies, where two people are travelling alone, and they are then presented with something that shocks the viewers. What I had in front of me looked like something out of Harry Potter.
The biggest place I had ever seen was looming in front of me, a few hundred metres ahead. I had hesitations in entering, as the signs had forbidden me from doing so.
Charlie V was adamant that we just enter anyway, because if something happens it would make for a good story. I was thinking that it would be difficult to write this article if I was not alive. I had visions of us entering without permission and then suddenly, BOOM!
Out of nowhere the caretaker of the castle jumps out with a pitchfork in his hand.
“What you boys doing in them hills?” He would ask in a husky, whiskey and cigarette sounding voice.
“Um…hello sir. I’m just…um…we are just doing a report on Hout Bay, and we are actually trying to find this mystical place by the name of “Dungeons”. I…do you…is this the right place?”
“You boys playing with fire. Who sent you?”
“Well, I kind of work for myself, so I sent me”
“You boys sound like risk takers to me. You better turn round and go back down this road for two miles and never come back. And never enter this road again. And don’t tell anyone you ever entered this road”
At this moment my risk taking, living life on the edge wingman Charlie V would say “What does this old fool know?” and he would push my leg down on the accelerator hard. The VR3 would kick into action, pushing the tyres to their limits. We would shoot down the road as the smell of rubber permeates the air. I would look in my rear view mirror and the care taker would be standing in a haze of smoke, pitch fork in hand, murmuring to himself:
“Those two fools just made the biggest mistake of them lives”
We would enter the castle, unaware of the horrors that belie the semi-tame exterior. Charlie V would jump out of the car like a kid on a sugar high and go knock the manhole sized door knocker.
Knock…knock…knock…
No answer
Knock…knock KNOCK KNOCK
No answer
He would push the door open and I would still be sitting in the car, nerves holding me back. I would see him nudge the door open, and slip in through the small opening. Unable to let my wingman enter by himself I would dash in after him, the soles of my Onitsuka Tiger shoes melting from the quick turn of pace.
We would walk in, and Charlie V would see a painting of the Mona Lisa on the wall.
“I bet this is worth a billion pounds!” He would proudly exclaim, as he removes it from the wall. At this moment, as he removes it, the wall would turn, sucking us both in into some sort of abyss. We would be met on the other side by the lady of the manor. Grey hair, long nose, broomstick and wrinkly.
“You boys disobeyed the orders of the caretaker. Naughty naughty. You will now die”
“Oh please no, dear Tom Cruise!” I would shout, in a plea for my life.
“You will die at the stake you little punks” The old haggard witch would say.
“For the love of Oprah, save us!” Charlie V would cry like a little school girl.
“Wait, old lady, you said the word ‘punks’? That must mean, you must be young…maybe a comedian even… are you joking with us? Are you having us on? Is this for shits and giggles baby?”
At this point “she” would rip off her mask and “she” would turn out to be Ricky Gervais!
What? Am I a novel writer? What is going on? Why am I writing fiction here? Sean, put the vodka down, let’s get back to the real world.
Ok, back to the real story, non fiction. Sorry, I got sidetracked there.
I live life on the edge, but with an imposing structure like this in front of me, I took some time out to really think over this. What had I seen? We had found the Holy Grail. Right there before my eyes, stood the Lichtenstein Castle. In an utterance that reminded me of the old “There’s bound to be gold in them hills”, I thought to myself:
There’s bound to be Dungeons in them castle!
UP NEXT: Finding Dungeons- Part 2 will hopefully take us into The Castle, if we can gain access.
UPDATE: We could not get to the castle in time, and so we take you HERE to find out more about dungeons
The Lichtenstein Castle looming on the mountainside- Will we gain access?
Sean Lloyd
Editor
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